This is something not to be tolerated. Way too many fish in the sea to put up with this bullshit. I fired a regular last year for showing up 1 hour late to an appointment. If you see them alot they take your for granted.
I had a no-show today from a provider I know well. If you are reading this and are an escort, please give me some feedback on when you think it is appropriate to conclude someone has no-showed, and what kind of communication, or ‘space’ you’d like from a client in this situation.
This is someone I have been seeing regularly for almost 9 months. She has been very reliable up until about a month ago. Now this is the 3rd no show from her. My first thought was that she is trying to give me a hint, but each time she has emailed me an apology, then rescheduled with me at a later date. She has mentioned more than once that she is having issues helping out her family, and it is impacting her schedule heavily.
Here is the rundown of the scheduling and communication.
• We set the appointment for today (Wednesday), last Thursday.
• She confirmed the appointment last Friday after no showing on Friday’s appointment.
• I texted her yesterday to confirm – no reply
• Texted this morning 3 hours in advance to confirm – no reply
• Texted 1 hour in advance to ask for the hotel location – no reply
• I drove over to her usual hotel, and called her cell 15 minutes ahead of time – no answer
• I called the hotel and asked the front desk to ring her room, 5 minutes ahead of time– She is not registered
• I called her other preferred hotel and asked the front desk to ring her room – she is not registered
• Waited until 5 minutes after the appointment was scheduled to start.
• Then concluded she is a no show, and sent her a note “sorry I missed you, let me know when you are back and available for reschedule”.
After typing this list up, I think I should have bailed yesterday when she didn’t reply to my confirmation
I'm sorry if she's got things going on with her family, but she can at least text you. There are enough ladies here that you'll find one to appreciate you, I wouldn't waste any more time on her.
Ringing her room at multiple hotels is creepy AF though and I wouldn't recommend doing that again. If I was her and I knew about that I wouldn't see you again.
How would she "blacklist" him..............do you mean her own personal blacklist............or is there some way to centrally blacklist people providers and hobbyists?
Yes, there's a lot of confusion about what the term means but there are several BLs out there. The worst of them is the so-called National Black List. It has no credibility at all. Anyone (even a guy) can put up a fake posting there and smear someone.
You should have bailed yesterday when she did not reply, and it's certainly on you for driving to her hotel after not being able to reach her.
and I do hope that you know her real name if you were calling hotels looking for her.
Obviously most of us are going to tell you to simply cut your losses, unless there is more going on between you two than the usual hooker/john relationship. If that is the case, run don't walk to your next favorite lady to help get this woman out from under your skin.
I agree, however this is also where I am stuck. There is nothing going on other than she is one of my ATFs. I know her real name. The hotel is 10 mins from my house, and I was on the doorstep of another one of my ATFs a few hours later for a great session.
If it wasn't one of my preferred regulars who us usually extremely reliable, I would cut bait.
My question for the ladies is should I follow up or leave her alone?
A couple of points:
If you ever choose to see this woman again, and while you should not, I bet she apologizes and you do, tell her that you will confirm the appointment shortly before it is time to go see her (since you say she is very nearby, let's say two hours), and if you do not hear back from her you will consider it cancelled. If she objects to this, say it is how you have decided to work with all providers these days (it is a good way to work, btw).
If she does not respond to that confirmation, does not provide any info on where to meet, do not go looking for her. Let's see - you might not find her, in which case you wasted your time; or you might find her, in which case it might be very awkward for both of you.
I have had ladies go NCNS on me, ladies who were very reliable get all flaky, all that crap. Seems to me I am paying a lady for a small number of things - her looks, her company, the things she does for me, and showing up when she says she will. If she can't do that last thing, then she is not doing anything for me. I will accept an apology once, but it sounds like you are at three strikes and you're out. Do not worry about the reasons she keeps standing you up, just know this - it is unlikely she is telling you the truth, and it probably has nothing to do with you.
Move on. But if she apologizes very nicely and you decide to go see her again, be disciplined about the schedule and confirmation, and do not get all worked up about seeing her since history says you probably will not see her anyway.
zig
I'll beg for pussy, and I'll pay for pussy, but I won't beg to pay for pussy.
Wish I would've come up with that classic.
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 8:50:30 PM
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 9:18:52 PM
i'll write that one down. LOL
Lol I was gonna say "she must have some goood you-know-what" for him to do all that but your last paragraph works too 😂😂👌🏻
I wouldn't see this person if he was calling hotels looking for me. I don't give out my real name unless absolutely necessary and I've only no-showed once...and that was because the hotel my client was at got raided by the police. I told him later on that day why and he understood. Never went to that hotel again in nearly 10 years. What he did wasn't discreet and not very wise. Is he a new hobbyist or seasoned? I would've left her alone after she no-showed and didn't say why.
You have to have dignity. If someone does something inconsiderate to you (making plans then just going MIA), don't ask her when you can reschedule. No girl likes a pushover guy. A guy should be rational and in control. Tell HER what's going to happen now. Either she'll keep her plans or she won't see you again. She wasted your time and you're a busy man, so have a good life. Etc etc.
If she really values you, she'll say NOOO!! Please, please give me another chance!! Then things are back in your control. If she acts like OH WELL, then run, don't walk away!
Well said.........can not believe you are so young..........such a wise, young lady! Kudos!!!
walking will do just fine, just walk fast, and do it now. lol
No, actually yours was very good advice, but somehow I doubt he is going to follow it.
This woman obviously is a God-send. It is truly an ultimate honor in this planet for you to be able to give her your money. Please ignore previous recommendation and instead get on your hands and knees and beg that she finds it in her heart to give you another chance to give her your money again.
muck
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 9:33:26 PM
.......how would you know what room she is in ? like everyone said forget her and find someone else.....
reading this again, that is a good point. I'll let it alone.
This is something not to be tolerated. Way too many fish in the sea to put up with this bullshit. I fired a regular last year for showing up 1 hour late to an appointment. If you see them alot they take your for granted.
He is a very busy, type A business mogul. He should be a judge on SharkTank. He also doesn't tolerate any crap apparently, as I found out the hard way.
He saw me regularly, for at least for a year, and I was always dependable. After a while, I just got comfortable. So one day, we planned to meet at Xpm, but I was really feeling fatigued as the time neared, so I asked him if I could nap and meet him a little later. Well, his schedule was jam packed and he only had X hours available, so he said I need to come at the planned time or wait until late after his dinner meeting. I knew he'd be tired and I didn't want to cut into his sleep time, so I got it together/starbucks/raced over but I was about an hour late with horrible traffic. He was on a conference call when I arrived. He looked stressed and preoccupied. We did the session when he was on his call! Not our best at all.
He didn't call me again. For 2 YEARS!!! I learned my lesson. If you really value someone's business, get to the damn appointment at the time agreed!
and let her get her personal life back in order. If she wants to call you, it's up to her.
Running around to "find" her at hotels is hugely indiscreet - do you really want to put her at risk when she tries to check in next time? I think it also crosses over into stalker territory, as do the impatient texts and emails.
Get yourself together and move on to someone else. The ball is in her court to contact you if she chooses.
thanks guys this helped. I'm going to leave it alone. For the record, I didn't know the room #. I just called the front desk and asked them to ring her room. I promise I'm not a stalker. LOL.
I do not care if you know her real info, you should NEVER show up without her permission!!!!
She keeps flaking on you, then move on to the ones who care about meeting you!!!
As soon as she stopped answering your texts, you should have walked away.
Obviously something happened or she brushed you off. Either way, you should not cross the line... which is what you did.
All you can do is look for better. Many gals don't play games and keep their word.
She might be your ATF and she may have let you in more than she should have! Using personal information like an SO would is a huge no no! I really hope you realize your blunder. She's going through a hard time and although you might think you are her relief right now you are a thorn in her side! There are some things you just don't do, and boy have you done them! She'll see you when she's ready, if at all! I'm pretty certain you've blown it if she knows all the lengths you've gone through to track her down. How do you think she would have responded had you found her!?! I'm with the others on stalker behavior. Discretion and some semblance of privacy is key to making all this work and not spiral out of control. Instead of you helping her in her time of need you've completely managed to stress her out. When we take on this line of work we get that nasty feeling that creeps up our spine and says that something isn't right, even if we don't get any clear signs. We rely on our gut, we trust our gut because it screws us every time we don't!
I see my issue, which is why I put up this post. Thanks for the frank feedback.
To put some scale on this, it was literally 4 texts, 1 vm, and 1 email over a 4 hour period.
Attempting to ring the room via the front desk is an obvious mistake in hindsight. I had an issue last week with a different provider whose phone was flaking on them. Her suggestion was to ring the room next time. Granted, that was someone else, but that is what I was thinking.
I never entered the hotel. I never even got out of my car.
But you are being awfully easy on her. Far from "she'll see you when she's ready" - he should have walked away from this repeat no-show offender and never looked back. Neither goes down as a text book example for good client or good provider behavior, respectively.
Never will be considered bugging.
So if you were my client and I knew you for 9 months and we shared info and you did not show up how would you feel if I called your work asking for you, then drove over there and walked in and asked for you and then went about stalking the places you frequent? Turning it around makes it sound really bad and what you did was REALLY BAD.
I would kick your sorry ass to the curb. If you KNEW she was having issues, then leave her alone until she calls. You clearly are not her go to for solace or help. With that behavior you're most likely going to get a restraining order!!!
you kinda went over the top starting with your 6th bullet point. I ain't driving anywhere unless I get the same day confirmation at least an hour ahead of time. My 6th thing would have been a text to her saying..."I'm sorry we weren't able to connect today, I hope all is OK with you. Let me know when you would like to get together again.".
This is someone I have been seeing regularly for almost 9 months. She has been very reliable up until about a month ago. Now this is the 3rd no show from her. My first thought was that she is trying to give me a hint, but each time she has emailed me an apology, then rescheduled with me at a later date. She has mentioned more than once that she is having issues helping out her family, and it is impacting her schedule heavily.
Here is the rundown of the scheduling and communication.
• We set the appointment for today (Wednesday), last Thursday.
• She confirmed the appointment last Friday after no showing on Friday’s appointment.
• I texted her yesterday to confirm – no reply
• Texted this morning 3 hours in advance to confirm – no reply
• Texted 1 hour in advance to ask for the hotel location – no reply
• I drove over to her usual hotel, and called her cell 15 minutes ahead of time – no answer
• I called the hotel and asked the front desk to ring her room, 5 minutes ahead of time– She is not registered
• I called her other preferred hotel and asked the front desk to ring her room – she is not registered
• Waited until 5 minutes after the appointment was scheduled to start.
• Then concluded she is a no show, and sent her a note “sorry I missed you, let me know when you are back and available for reschedule”.
After typing this list up, I think I should have bailed yesterday when she didn’t reply to my confirmation.