That's fucking perfect!
I'll never understand why people are so interested in what other people are doing, especially when it's none of their damn business. I'm so glad to be out of the south, because the vast majority of them seem to think your business is their business.Like most of you, I have a full PRIVATE life outside of all this. And like most of you, I do everything in my power to keep it that way. Luckily, most clients know better than to pry and respect my boundaries.
But everyone else in my life? Not so much lol. I get it, of course. I'm forever disappearing for an hour or two, I'm in and out randomly from 10 am to midnight, I get expensive gifts that don't exactly fit my spending habits... Anyone who spends much time with me starts to get curious after a while.
When I can't blame my schedule (or outfit) on my full-time job, I usually tell people I'm in a wedding band. It's a useful little lie because daytime clients become "rehearsals", evening clients become "private events", and weekend clients become "weddings".
So, what's your "story" that you give busybodies in your personal lives
I simply fess up and admit I just got laid.
I just don't care enough about what other people think about me to come up with a "cover story" to appease them.
Lucky you! 
We all have choices to make in life, one of mine is to NOT live me life as a lie.
I could never understand why people do things that they are ashamed of. If I am ashamed of something that I do, it's time to reevaluate my behavior. I have ZERO shame about being a whore monger, none at all. So why should I have to live a lie, worrying about what other people think about my behavior?
People complain all the time about this "hobby" being illegal, well if no one is willing to stand up and be counted, just how in the fuck does anyone think anything is EVER going to change. If gay people didn't have the courage to come out of the closet, where would we be now? Is it really a fair statement to make that "Gays have more courage than Hookers and Johns"??? It sure looks like that to me.
First of all, I am not ashamed of my choices in the least. I love what I do and, when in the company of like minded individuals, I'm all too happy to share stories and discuss it.
The reason that I don't have the freedom to openly discuss my work as an escort as openly as you discuss your adventures as a hobbyist is because it could have very serious consequences for me in my personal life. My 9-5 type job is not as openminded as yours apparently is and I am not willing to risk my main source of income just so that I can be some kind of champion of the sex workers rights movement. Additionally, I have neither the time nor the desire to educate every single misguided or misinformed person that I meet about the true nature of my job and its role in society.
And I'm not even going to bother attempting to unpack all the stupidity in your question about gays having more courage than hookers and johns. But I will say that for every amazing, courageous soul that stood up for the gay rights movement-- and was met with brutality, discrimination, humiliation, and every other form of resistance-- there were countless more just trying to live their lives in peace and relative anonymity because they had too much to lose. Thankfully, there always have been and always will be those who are willing to risk it all to stand up for what's right. But don't you dare look down on those of us who are just trying to get through the day
articulate, insightful, and to the point. THANK YOU for sharing........you are quite a gem.
Hey, thank you! I really appreciate that
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 8:44:32 AM
Being a hooker is and so is being a john, but Gag you know that the stigma is heaped heavily on the ladies..like most people can kinda get their head around two women fucking but are, for the most part, revolted at the thought of two men fucking...just look at the comments on here about man on man.
I do agree with your premise and inwardly not ashamed of getting paid to have sex. I call it good business and frown on women who give it away(and then feel guilty) if you want the truth.
It is admittedly much easier for a man to come out as a whore monger, Charlie Sheen is a name that comes to mind, than it is for a hooker who will immediately paint a bullseye on her back for arrest, but my point is, SOMEBODY has to eventually stand up and be counted if things are ever going to change
Many johns disrespect hookers (IMHO) even though they patronize them. If that respect started here, then it might gain some momentum.
And yes I do acknowledge that some hookers think johns are the scourge of the earth.
If many in this world lack respect for this world, both the clients and providers, how can we expect different from the rest of the world? Just a few threads down there is a perfect example of this disrespect. As a group we need to realize if we want to see real change in laws and society it has to start with respectING each other.
There are still anti-sodomy laws on the books in some parts of the country.
It didn't become "legal" until gays started coming out of the closet. Now we are way past the legal stage and well into the acceptance stage.
I think GaG's bigger point is valid. Nothing changes until people rise up and demand change. Whether it be the LGTB community or members of the p4p community
That crosses over into hetero territory. I agree his bigger point is valid. However you can be gay and not indulge in sodomy...many gay women do not ass fuck. Not all gay men do either.
I think the whole thing is ridiculous because you can have a sugar daddy arrangement and it be legal, See more than one guy and you're a hooker. Hugh Hefner had three hookers living with him and he got away with it.
All the while there is trafficking that is pushed to pop hot buttons, I think it will be way after I have left this earth that it happens. I can't think of anything in the gay world that was forced or created abuse like trafficking does.
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 10:22:16 AM
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 10:22:48 AM
Consequences much more serious than anything any of us face today. You might not be old enough to remember just how bad things were for gay people once upon a time. It took true courage to come out back then.
I am on your side. It still was not illegal and one day when it is legal or at the very least decriminalized, things might start to happen. I am more worried about the cops than some religious fuck or some pissed off wife.
From what I just quickly read it is sodomy so unless that is enacted, I guess all was fine BUT where this law falls is straight couples can engage in sodomy as well. And I read that straight butt fucking was rarely enforced...well that was not a surprise.
So oral man on man and woman on woman still flies...cool not illegal and I guess nor is making out with the same sex. Just don;t poke the butt and you're in the clear.
Thank you for the education. I guess because I am not advertising my trysts with same sex and no cop is sitting in my bedroom watching I can happily indulge.
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/sodomy-laws-us
Serisouly, and this is not pertaining just to gays, it ropes in heteros as well. Sad.
that those who are the most vociferous about the evils of hobbying/providing..........are probably participants in one way or another........and speak out against it, only to keep up an image they feel they must to be accepted?
We have more than our share of politicians in the U.S. who fit this mold. Shame on us.
They should have something like the Provider Medal of Honor..........who knows how many wars providers have prevented by taking horny, ornery, angry old men...........out of fighting mode........even if just for an hour or two appointment,
I keep telling myself "One day, you'll be a woman and do whatever you want and not care what my parents think." Yeah right. My parents' opinion of me matters a lot. Plus they're VERY conservative and uptight (for a black family) so things like sex were just never spoken about. So telling them I moonlight as an escort is completely out of the question!
I think its a little different though?
Most guys get high-fived for getting laid regardless of who its with, but as a provider we have to worry about the fact that if people know what we do, we could get evicted, disowned, arrested, beaten, and who knows what else.
I acknowledge and appreciate your progressive thinking, but I think at least for providers, its good to have a cover story (also being gay has been socially unacceptable but I dont think, at least not in the US, that its been illegal?).
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I just say I am a baby sitter/nanny which isnt fool proof, especially when dressed up, but other than that if its late and I am dressed up and someone just so happens to run into me and ask what I am doing dressed up at 8pm I say I am going out to a club or something with a friend.
you were married.........and did not have a kitchen pass.........and wanted to maintain a certain degree of peace and decorum in your household?
and one of the main reasons I have no shame about what I am doing is that I am not hurting anyone, nor am I cheating on anyone.
I don't want to get on some high moral horse here, but when I am in a committed relationship I don't see hookers or any other women for that matter. I was married for a few years and when I realized how unhappy I was, rather than sneaking around behind my wife's back I got out of the marriage and it was the best money I ever spent.
I am not here to make moral judgments for other people, but to answer your question, I would never be in that situation, as I said in my other post, if I were doing something I was ashamed of, I would look to change my behavior, not look to cover it up.
sorry to sound all high, mighty and judgmental here, not to mention a bit preachy after rereading my post, but you asked. lol
You haven't truly arrived on the internet until you have at least a few stalkers. Welcome to my fan club, now take a number and sit your lame ass down until called upon.
reread my post dumbfuck. Three total posts (at the time) two calling me a lying sack of shit
If you are going to be my personal stalker, you really need to keep up.
Come on you can tell me, you are really the dumber brother of AnnoyingFungus, right?
exist for guys and ladies, even before ever approaching the p4p aspect. While I have nothing to hide and would likely say the same as you, that I just got laid, if asked....I don't believe our female counterparts would feel as comfortable making the same confession as often as we all would have to if having to account to someone. This is just considering regularly getting laid, without even bringing p4p conditions into view. We fellas come in and show the just got laid look, even 3 or 4 times a week, and we get envy and high fives. A lady shows up that way, and the labels start getting applied. So, the need for "secrecy" is much stronger with the ladies.
Now, bringing our hobby into the mix, the secrecy is there for all of us. While the guys may admit getting laid each day until the cows come home, I personally wouldn't detail that admission by saying I made a hobby donation. Really, it's no one else's business anyway, and let 'em talk if they want. But a certain level of "privacy" is used by all of us, whether it be silence or a cover story....and I am certain the ladies have to use a lot more of it than us guys
I for one make no effort to hide the fact that it's mainly hookers that I am fucking. So be careful when using absolutes like "all of us"
Like I said, for this ever to be mainstream in this country SOMEBODY has to stand up and be counted, right now it's me and Charlie Sheen, anyone else want to come out of their tiny little closet??? lol
I have been able to create an image of talking much less than I actually need to. It wasn't easy, but its effective. My typical nature is exactly the opposite.
I had a great example in a boss that I worked for on how NOT to act in real life. The man would come up with outrageous lies over stuff that would typically require not much explanation at all, thus raising eyebrows whether he is telling the truth or just bullshitting. It was usually the latter.
You think people care about your private life more than they actually do. They are deeply engrossed in problems of their own. The more justifications you give, the obvious it becomes that you have been "naughty".
There is an old Chinese proverb I read somewhere. The longer the story, the bigger the lie. That being said, do whatever you need to do to conceal the obvious, but do it quietly.
-- Modified on 6/17/2015 11:10:42 AM
The fact that my friends are providers is something they don't need to know. Here at home, going out for an evening is not a problem...it's my travels to faraway places that are sometimes not so easily explained. But it's manageable, and fun. They know I like to travel, and have the resources to do so pretty much at will. Plus that, they like to see the pictures of the places I go to when I'm not playing in my hotel room... 
Schedule your appointments in times where they aren't looking for you or increase your meeting times so it doesn't look so suspicious... The guys can wait, hour long appointments usually take longer than just an hour anyways, and you don't have to have the whole day "open" to be successful... Stop buying expensive things and save the money, it comes and gos in this business and rainy days will happen- no one likes a desperate provider who couldn't manage her money... Keep a side job that has odd hours and will pay you cash/tips; picking up extra "shifts" and having a purse full of cash will look "normal"... And finally, tell the people in your life to butt the fuck out! Assuming you are in this business by your own free will, over 18/21, and are self sufficient, then what does it matter? I pay my own bills and my family doesn't know how, but as long as I am not asking them to fund me then they have no room to question nor ask. If you sound guilty, then you are guilty. Nothing to see here. LOL!
That's fucking perfect!
I'll never understand why people are so interested in what other people are doing, especially when it's none of their damn business. I'm so glad to be out of the south, because the vast majority of them seem to think your business is their business.
Which is, every pattern has nearly equal chance of occurring and tha is my secret.
There is never a pattern for whatever I do, everything is absolutely random including, going to work, going back to home, when I see friends, when I go out for meals, and when I Hobby and who I see.
Response I get mostly is, "you are weird"!
Never a plan for anything.
A very distant third to "you are stupid" and "you are grumpy" which is what most people say about you.
but limits me to the same routine.........day/time.........yet it seems to work for me. Can choose to really go play poker with the guys.........or visit one of our wonderful Las Vegas providers.
I'm single and work for myself. Makes it easy for me to disappear anytime without a need for a story.
But everyone else in my life? Not so much lol. I get it, of course. I'm forever disappearing for an hour or two, I'm in and out randomly from 10 am to midnight, I get expensive gifts that don't exactly fit my spending habits... Anyone who spends much time with me starts to get curious after a while.
When I can't blame my schedule (or outfit) on my full-time job, I usually tell people I'm in a wedding band. It's a useful little lie because daytime clients become "rehearsals", evening clients become "private events", and weekend clients become "weddings".
So, what's your "story" that you give busybodies in your personal lives?
Truth, plus juicy enough to keep anyone from prying more.
taking applications? Will gladly move to Chicago.............is tomorrow too soon?
Why lie, if you don't have too? Lying and making up excuses is too much work and not fun. I hobby for fun after all.
She thought I was joking!
But seriously,
I am lucky to be n a business with a lot of field activity whereby I could say that I needed to go out and visit a job; and I also would have some evening meetings from time to time, so I managed to live a pretty charmed life for a while.
To the OP: What are you going to do when a friend or workmate has a wedding come up and wants to audition your "band"? Playing the skin flute is not going to cut it. 8o)
And sometimes she asks me to find out if she sees the ladies. There is a difference.
Haha that's a great question. Easy answer, though-- "Yeah, right... Like I'm going to work at your wedding!"
Not to mention, luckily, most of my friends are already married lol.
For me it's my real life hobbies. My hobbies can take me to many different in, or out of town places. Sometimes, there are hobby events that coincide with a session. I never deviate from this formula. Sometimes atfs write, and ask why I haven't come to see them. Well, the answer is in the hobby. Sometimes I can create my own event, much like your wedding band, but sometimes I have to wait for an event, in which case certain atfs must show patience.
I have a yearly summer, solo trip that takes me through this certain town. For years, my atf in that town and I plan two sessions, coming and going, around that trip a year in advance. Talk about impulsive. But now she has retired, and I have been striking out trying to find someone new. I still have a month to plan, but wow, the trip without the possibility of play seems like such a wasted opportunity. Is your wedding band playing in that town next month?
Unless "that town" is Orlando.... No lol.
Also, I really do sing, and have done so professionally, so telling people I sing in a wedding band isn't much of a stretch
Dear Ms. St. Claire:
Just wondering what are the non-verbal clues that you get and how probative are the questions that you get with that? Although you would tone your look down when you are in a professional setting, has anyone had any suspicion of you having a certain nocturnal occupation? Also have any inquiries come close to being right on target with respect to your obvious absence? Finally just wondering if you can do it, are you thinking about rescheduling some of your appointments so that you can lower inquiries and suspicions of your co-workers and superiors?
But everyone else in my life? Not so much lol. I get it, of course. I'm forever disappearing for an hour or two, I'm in and out randomly from 10 am to midnight, I get expensive gifts that don't exactly fit my spending habits... Anyone who spends much time with me starts to get curious after a while.
When I can't blame my schedule (or outfit) on my full-time job, I usually tell people I'm in a wedding band. It's a useful little lie because daytime clients become "rehearsals", evening clients become "private events", and weekend clients become "weddings".
So, what's your "story" that you give busybodies in your personal lives?
Most of the time the questions are friendly, if curious, but never accusatory. And (knock on wood!) no one has ever even hinted that they think there's something scandalous going on. The whole wedding band charade actually works really well
Hi Ava,
I tell people on a "need to know basis." If others find out, eh, so be it. I'm having fun & that's all that matters. I'm a friend, w/ one of these fine ladies. Once a friend of mine who doesn't know what I do, befriended her. I was thinking, at the time, Ruh-Roh, this might not be good. But, I didn't say anything. A few days later he became all preachy to her & she had him "eighty-sixed". But, If he was still friends w/ her, today. I wouldn't have a problem w/it. I wouldn't say anything to him, as to protect her privacy. So, I'm fine w/ some people knowing what I do, but some others need to be kept in the dark. 
When I can't blame my schedule (or outfit) on my full-time job, I usually tell people I'm in a wedding band. It's a useful little lie because daytime clients become "rehearsals", evening clients become "private events", and weekend clients become "weddings".
So, what's your "story" that you give busybodies in your personal lives?
Luckily I live alone so don't have to sneak out (anymore). But the other weekend when a family member stayed with me for the weekend, I had to sneak out for a late appointment that I didn't want to miss. I told her that I was going to have dinner with a guy-friend and Ill be back in an hour. 4 hours later I get home at 1am but luckily she was asleep so I just showered and crawled into bed quietly.
Carry a big purse so that you can put on your makeup and outfit when you go out. If you leave the house looking too pretty or sexy, they'll be onto you.
As for gifts and stuff, you need a phantom SD to blame. "Well why can't we meet this man?" they'll ask. "Because he's older and just not someone I feel comfortable bringing home." or "He's going through a divorce." "It's complicated." Etc etc. Then divert the convo right away!
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nothing as fun as a wedding band though. LOL
For busybodies at work (I work from home), I have a block on my calendar that says "Admin Work" and tell them I am doing paperwork.
For Friends, I have a different story for each of them...usually "running errands", or "Customer Appointment". As a business guy it is easy to explain getting dressed up a bit in the middle of the day.
For my wife, she doesn't want to know and never asks. I also go out of my way to book appointments that she does not notice..I.e while she is at work, out of town, or out with friends. I have a free pass from her, but rule number 3 is "she doesn't ever want to know anything about it".
So I really don't need to make up too many stories. When asked what I did on a given afternoon, I just tell some very general little white lie. "Watched a game on TV", "Went to the gym", "Did housework" (by far the least plausible lol) or something along these lines.