TER General Board

I agree to a point. Anyone over doing it, will never see me again.regular_smile
HectorBlack 12 Reviews 386 reads
posted

I totally agree as far as enjoying herself. That is also dependent on the gentleman as far as attitude, cleanliness and YES for some providers a willingness to reciprocate by the gentleman and yes for some, some what of an attraction level, however obtained. Physically or mentally or BOTH. Not all providers need the Reciprocation but some do and it's not hard to tell who. I understand your point but as long as there is no faking, I'm good and agree with you. I expect a provider to be nice, respectful, professional, great hygiene and a willingness to be engaged. That's about it and if I some how or for some reason I disgust the provider, then no need for the engagement or seeming into the actions. We just aren't a good fit and move on!! Again, if for some reason I repulse that lady, hey, don't fake for me. If some how my sex doesn't produce moans or orgasms or bliss (lol), please please don't fake with me. If I wasn't engaging, no need to act like I am being. There's probably a reason why I'm not!!! I've seen a lady four times that doesn't moan for anything unless it really feels good to her and I love it. The first couple of times, not a sound and it was great because I knew it was genuine. Could tell she was enjoying herself but would have been cool if she wasn't. That fake shit is needed by too many men imo (read reviews) and not even in P4P is it to my liking. Plus I have a radar for it. Lol. I'll start playing with a lady if she goes too far with it. Watch out for the "mimicking" lmao. That always makes me laugh. Or the change up in stroke. Like, I damn well know that didn't hit a spot. iM NOT EVEN MOVING. LMAO!!! Even some I like to death, I know were putting too much Hollywood into it but hey it's slightly understandable. They don't know I know but I do. It's all good. No need for all that stuff. Too many men in this hobby fuck that up and too many ladies who play into that shit as well. IMO! Major turnoff for moi but I understand the "pattern". Smh.

GFE doesn't mean anything until two people meet even in this hobby along with the Stars being aligned correctly for that day/night. IMO. Some providers can just turn it on no matter who is in the room. A lot cannot and its understandable. I'll still laugh at a lot of us men. Reverse that shit! I know my shit wouldn't get hard a lot of the times! I wouldn't be all into it with many and I'm a man who is suppose to want to hump most trees I pass....right? Lol.

So just what does GFE REALLY mean?  Sure, in this context it probably means DFKng or the like, but I have a very different way of determining whether or not my provider/hobbyist activity is truly enjoyable.  Sure, we men get our surges of testosterone and need nothing more than relief from time to time and in these cases, a massage with HJ might be enough.

But for me.......and all of us humans have different tastes......the appointment is the most satisfying if it closely resembles a true, meaningful, intimate encounter between a man and woman.  The right chemistry is the key and of course, that is not simple to find.

Of course I am sane enough, and intelligent enough to be able to compartmentalize and go back to our "normal" roles after the appointment.  This means, I do not request any act I know my partner (the provider) is not interested in and I try to make sure she enjoys our time together as much as I do.  

Maybe my tastes are different than some hobbyists, but that is my taste.  Being older, I do not seek out much younger ladies as that would make things less than realistic.  I do not seek out providers who are a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 as in my real world I would not seek out a 10.  I think you get the picture.

So........what does GFE mean to you?  And how important is it to you hobbyist or provider, that your appointment is a reflection of what you would do in your normal, non-hobbyist/provider life

enjoyment as almost any activity if not offered with the right approach.

As The Beatles were wont to say:

It's all in the mind, you know.

I agree with most of what you said, however, I find that I do enjoy being with a "10" on occasion, like for my birthday. Because in addition to what you said about it being realistic, I also enjoy a hint of "fantasy" with my trysts. And my fantasies include being with beautiful, gorgeous women or women with a body to worship. I also like to dabble with younger but mature providers who float my boat. As you have mentioned, chemistry is the key however, you never know what you are going to get (kind of like Forrest Gump's mother's box of chocolates). When there is chemistry, that is when I come back again

WildJimmy!447 reads

You said, "Maybe my tastes are different than some hobbyists..." and then concluded, 'I do not seek out providers who are a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 as in my real world I would not seek out a 10."

But if you seek out what you are looking for, and you find it, doesn't that necessarily make her a 10?

Posted By: WildJimmy!
You said, "Maybe my tastes are different than some hobbyists..." and then concluded, 'I do not seek out providers who are a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 as in my real world I would not seek out a 10."  
   
 But if you seek out what you are looking for, and you find it, doesn't that necessarily make her a 10?
She is then his 10. He is not looking for everyone's 10 woman.
Someone does not have to have perfect abs, model looks, be the all American next door, in her 20s, or have all kinds of skills that blow your head off. These qualities obviously can be the ones that make one throw out 10s with no effort and don't get me wrong but most men look for those when pursuing this.  
Well, some are different and want the emotional and mental connection first. Once those are met, the rest then really can bring you above the 9th cloud and even further up. :).. at least for some.

-- Modified on 5/27/2015 11:59:37 AM

You don't get it.  

He is looking for his 10 woman. Not everyone's 10 woman.  
And what he is looking for is basically different than others.  
What is wrong with that?

WildJimmy!721 reads

NOTHING is wrong with that. If everyone thinks blondes are hot but I prefer brunette providers, then I'll look for that. But if I find what I hoped to find, that's a 10 (or whatever) regardless of what others like.

But I can understand if what you're looking for is something other than the current standard of beauty that the TER classification of "model material" (9) might be skipped over, and the rating would have to jump from 8 to 10. So a scale of 1 to 10 without 9s. If you like a girl you like her. She's a find, a 10 find. Maybe don't review and avoid having to label.

Zayla, very true as I now know after seeing you.  I would say you are the definition of GFE for me.

Yes..........."beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  I believe, an amazing experience depends entirely upon each individual's perspective.

...".the appointment is the most satisfying if it closely resembles a true, meaningful, intimate encounter between a man and woman.  The right chemistry is the key and of course, that is not simple to find.  "...

How can that be true EXCEPT on rare chances when the stars align,  when only one side is aware of what is walking through the door. Hookers in general have to wing it when someone who maybe repulsive to her shows up. He likes the look of her and knows what she might do. That is not like real life. And you are right it is not simple to find and in most cases many johns are disappointed.

In addition, hookers get flack for acting from some johns....they need a mirror and a reality check and maybe some empathy

cuppajoe704 reads

I sorta align with the OP's points, but you could say that I am more proactive about connecting. First of all, there is a huge difference between first appointments and subsequent ones.  If I think we'd enjoy each other, subsequent appointments ratchet up the connection.

I'm OK with acting, particularly if its really good.  And who's to say that really good acting shades into authencity? That said, there are acts that create space for that human connection.  A simple Tantra exercise like being totally still and looking at each other (set a 4 min. timer) can have really interesting results.  

Where I differ from the OP is that a carnal romp with a 18 y. o. can be entirely satisfying to me.  But then maybe I set my expectation too low!

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
...".the appointment is the most satisfying if it closely resembles a true, meaningful, intimate encounter between a man and woman.  The right chemistry is the key and of course, that is not simple to find.  "...  
   
 How can that be true EXCEPT on rare chances when the stars align,  when only one side is aware of what is walking through the door. Hookers in general have to wing it when someone who maybe repulsive to her shows up. He likes the look of her and knows what she might do. That is not like real life. And you are right it is not simple to find and in most cases many johns are disappointed.  
   
 In addition, hookers get flack for acting from some johns....they need a mirror and a reality check and maybe some empathy.  
 

Personally i like massage, it bodes well to relax the john and it is full of human touch.  Nice to know there is john who doesn't mind a good act. Thank you for that.

PussyLipGloss658 reads

I'll play mine: ATM. Simple. If there's chemistry, all the better for both but not necessary. Pay for performance, like Wall Street, Hollywood or window washers. Seriously.

You tricks are a walking ATM and i have a pussy for rent. I got it...it is the ones that want a real girlfriend and get pissy because a hooker is not dripping wet when Ugly McFuck shows up.  

On second thought you are right tricks need not show any empathy and I guess I don't need to either when a sorry ass tool with zero social skills shows up and wants to use my body. I will look at him like a cash machine and get it done! Glad we speak the same language.

-- Modified on 5/27/2015 1:48:31 PM

Yes......some fail to realize it IS a two way street and..........the best way to gain respect is to give it.  I have all the respect for providers and when I arrive for an appointment.........am confident it shows in my words and actions.  I made a choice to see her.........and she has taken a significant risk by agreeing to see me.

We take it from there..........if the provider is a rude, insensitive person..........then I chalk it up to experience and realize my selection process needs a bit of work.

What I am about to say applies across the board...I feel the pervasive attitude that a buyer has all the power and because of that can, and do, treat those in a position of service with a somewhat entitled attitude.

As a buyer, I believe strongly in treating the seller with as much respect as I would like, works so much better than walking in with an attitude.  

As far as my clients, they get treated as I would wish to be treated should I be in their shoes.

I ask myself, "alright, out of the next 100 women I see, how many would I sleep with just based on looks?"   The answer is surprisingly low, especially for a guy who is not stuck on age or a particular look.  Of course, then I think about the ladies who work in the biz and that gives me a bit of perspective of what they may go through.   The one thing I have noticed, and it is a Captain Obvous observation, is that the more money the ladies have, the more attractive they are to me.   Then I wonder if I am simply liking the makeup, the nicely coiffed hair and the outfits.  Lol!   Anyway, if I am at  say NM  or some glitzy town, the percentage to which I can say "yeah, I would" is more than double than if I am at a more normal middle America setting.    Sometimes, I have played the game and the answer was 0 out of 100.   I think the highest score ever was 70, on a Saturday night sitting at a casino in Vegas - I wonder how many of them were pros.

My numbers are really high because I am in the environment I like. My numbers would be zero to about 2 in real life. Geez going to my gym is like porn to me...yummy tight muscle and not a beer gut in sight.

you can't get any more shallow, you let a little more outta  the pool"

Elaine Benes

Just like a john we hookers have likes and dislike. I keep myself in great shape and expect that of a bed partner...clearly not in this job but outside. Why would I go to all this work and settle for Ugly McFuck with a beer gut and man boobs...shallow enough for ya?

Senator.Blutarsky699 reads

...while I agree you see a higher proportion of hotties than the general public, there are still those that are beginners in sculpting their physique. i.e. Still carrying the beer gut or thunder thighs.

I can say that 85% of the members are in great shape.

And.........that is why screening...........and trying to make a choice that fits MY criteria can go a long way to making this amazingly difficult occurrence even remotely possible.  You may be surprised at how often it HAS happened for me.

You come across as a guy who has realistic expectations about this world and goes in with a healthy dose of respect. That really does go a long way. So with you, I am not surprised.

Tried to reply to you.......offline.........via private email.........but your address could not be found.

Yes, it is very nice to be with someone I would find genuinely attractive IRW, someone with whom I would probably really mesh.   That being said, I have had some great times with women that would not be realistic for me in one way or another (goes both ways - women who would never in a million years find me interesting in any possible way and women I would not necessarily go for).   Actually, that has been one of the greatest gifts this little sport has bestowed upon me, it has truly expanded my horizons.    

The week of graduation from college, a woman who had also gone to high school with me pulled me aside and said: "you have no idea what you have missed, I have known you for a long time and you have passed on experiences with some wonderful people, because you are very narrow minded, you need to do some serious thinking about what you are doing."   It took another 6 years before her wisdom sank in and part of it was due to this sport.    It is a lesson that has had far wider applications than this realm.  

As for GFE, beyond all the stuff we understand it to be, to me a GFE session involves someone who enjoys the process of meeting another person, someone who puts a little effort into it with the human touch.

Posted By: Pangloss

 As for GFE, beyond all the stuff we understand it to be, to me a GFE session involves someone who enjoys the process of meeting another person, someone who puts a little effort into it with the human touch.    
Yes!!!! ... the human touch!!!

Makes the most sense given what hookers are up against most of the time.  

A hooker does need to be a "people" person to a good degree and have skills that can be drawn upon to meet a complete stranger, put him at ease, calm their own nerves and be sexy at the same time, all the while he might not be anything she might find sexually attractive in order to have a real sexual connection.

A little effort into human touch is a far cry from turned on and ready to go the minute he walks in the door. You are waaaay more realistic and with that attitude, possibly are far more welcomed than most and remembered as the cool guy and invited back.

You completely got it, good to know that someone gets my rambling.    Let's face it, nobody is attractive to everybody, and most of us are only attractive in one way or another to a small minority, but with a good attitude, respect and caring for each other as fellow human beings, it is possible to have a good time and leave with a smile.

I don't think true GFE happens on a first date. All the "required" nuances may be there but a true GFE comes with time and familiarity. When you have a rapport with someone then that is when you experience a true GFE.

her ad or when she shows up at the door.

-- Modified on 5/27/2015 6:52:19 PM

All my old girlfriends used to like me. There was no way around it. So what I hope for in a session is that the lady might like me. In real life like is like. In the hobby, there are varying degrees of like. If she really really likes me, the session will expand. Her menu might even expand. For example, she'll dfk for me longer than for anyone else. Of course, if she's neutral, which most are, it'll be a normal session. Now if she really doesn't like me, the session will diminish. She might rush me, ask me to leave early, go through the motions etc. So gfe to me means she likes me. Everything else, including the menu, will take care of itself.  

I know there are naysayers who don't believe in any of this like bullshit. That the lady likes you for the $$$ only. That she's an actress playing the girlfriend role, and once you're gone, she never thinks of you again, until you bring more $$$. At first that's what I thought too. Not anymore. I've had some pretty expansive sessions in my time. What do I mean by the session expanding? That is absolutely personal to each gentleman. When it happens, you'll know it. Oh, by the way, if she really likes me, I'll be coming back, as often as is humanly possible.

It is not about the money for some. Yes, I want money! I have also had guys that I have gotten to know that had some financial issues and couldn't see me for a while. I actually missed them very much and worried about them. I am not saying I give it away for free. I am just saying that if you see someone as a regular and things happen where they are absent for awhile, if you really liked them... yes, you do miss them and think of them. I keep in contact to see how they are doing.

It's sort of one of those things where you have to keep boundaries because you do get attached a little bit. I know not to go that route. There are times (and have been times) where I invited guys to do stuff with me as a friend.

If a gal was all about the money, why would she do OTC things with a guy... she wouldn't. She'd want to be paid. I know I am not the only one like that. Got to be careful though to maintain the hobby aspect, sometimes you give a little and they take a mile.  

Of course gals who like the "visitor" will put themselves into it more. Just natural.  

Posted By: mojojo
All my old girlfriends used to like me. There was no way around it. So what I hope for in a session is that the lady might like me. In real life like is like. In the hobby, there are varying degrees of like. If she really really likes me, the session will expand. Her menu might even expand. For example, she'll dfk for me longer than for anyone else. Of course, if she's neutral, which most are, it'll be a normal session. Now if she really doesn't like me, the session will diminish. She might rush me, ask me to leave early, go through the motions etc. So gfe to me means she likes me. Everything else, including the menu, will take care of itself.  
   
 I know there are naysayers who don't believe in any of this like bullshit. That the lady likes you for the $$$ only. That she's an actress playing the girlfriend role, and once you're gone, she never thinks of you again, until you bring more $$$. At first that's what I thought too. Not anymore. I've had some pretty expansive sessions in my time. What do I mean by the session expanding? That is absolutely personal to each gentleman. When it happens, you'll know it. Oh, by the way, if she really likes me, I'll be coming back, as often as is humanly possible.

To me, the definition of GFE is very simple. My definition is "the provider is there to enjoy herself."

I am an older hobbyist, having been doing this for 30+ years. That does not stop me from hoping that an evening with a 20-25 year old provider will be fun for both of us.

Often, this happens. But it is entirely dependent on the provider. If she is in the mood to have an entertaining evening with a fellow who she would not notice on the street and is old enough to be her father, I give her credit for being open enough to do so.

In my opinion, the chemistry is not all that difficult if both parties have the same goal - to enjoy the evening and then part ways.

Are you referring to the sex you two have, that she orgasms for real or that she enjoys your intelligence, your wit or your sense of humor or fun or all of the above. Because I am sure many hookers have found some guys funny and witty but the sex, yeah...pass. And some have found the sex great but the personality sadly lacking.  

So is it up to whatever she enjoys or what you feel she should enjoy that would make you happy?

GaGambler741 reads

whether she actually enjoys herself or not is beside the point, she is there to make a living. Many people enjoy their work, but that's not WHY they are there. It's still a job.

That said, I believe a true GFE is one where she has convinced you that she is there to enjoy herself, but as the saying goes, "take away the envelope and you will see just how much she really enjoys your company"

I look at most things in a very simple manner.

A provider prepares for an evening with a hobbyist. She either says to herself "another couple hours with a loser" or "I wonder what this guy will be like."

Which one is GFE? You be the judge.

The first can be negative but she can be pleasantly surprised and pull of a great session. The second one can be all positive and happy and then meet the loser and it all goes down hill.  

OR

Both are professionals and have their inside voices however project what is expected of them...ie. the guy leaves happy

I totally agree as far as enjoying herself. That is also dependent on the gentleman as far as attitude, cleanliness and YES for some providers a willingness to reciprocate by the gentleman and yes for some, some what of an attraction level, however obtained. Physically or mentally or BOTH. Not all providers need the Reciprocation but some do and it's not hard to tell who. I understand your point but as long as there is no faking, I'm good and agree with you. I expect a provider to be nice, respectful, professional, great hygiene and a willingness to be engaged. That's about it and if I some how or for some reason I disgust the provider, then no need for the engagement or seeming into the actions. We just aren't a good fit and move on!! Again, if for some reason I repulse that lady, hey, don't fake for me. If some how my sex doesn't produce moans or orgasms or bliss (lol), please please don't fake with me. If I wasn't engaging, no need to act like I am being. There's probably a reason why I'm not!!! I've seen a lady four times that doesn't moan for anything unless it really feels good to her and I love it. The first couple of times, not a sound and it was great because I knew it was genuine. Could tell she was enjoying herself but would have been cool if she wasn't. That fake shit is needed by too many men imo (read reviews) and not even in P4P is it to my liking. Plus I have a radar for it. Lol. I'll start playing with a lady if she goes too far with it. Watch out for the "mimicking" lmao. That always makes me laugh. Or the change up in stroke. Like, I damn well know that didn't hit a spot. iM NOT EVEN MOVING. LMAO!!! Even some I like to death, I know were putting too much Hollywood into it but hey it's slightly understandable. They don't know I know but I do. It's all good. No need for all that stuff. Too many men in this hobby fuck that up and too many ladies who play into that shit as well. IMO! Major turnoff for moi but I understand the "pattern". Smh.

GFE doesn't mean anything until two people meet even in this hobby along with the Stars being aligned correctly for that day/night. IMO. Some providers can just turn it on no matter who is in the room. A lot cannot and its understandable. I'll still laugh at a lot of us men. Reverse that shit! I know my shit wouldn't get hard a lot of the times! I wouldn't be all into it with many and I'm a man who is suppose to want to hump most trees I pass....right? Lol.

And if there were not so many touchy egos we hookers could be more honest and genuine and still provide great service.  

When I stated in another post that some guys who get upset that the hooker is not as into him as he is into her, it was coming from a place of "please do you not have a mirror and realize that you are 60 years old and screwing a hot 24 year old"...how can you blame her if she is not dripping wet at the sight of you?  

Hey some might but the realistic view would be most likely not, but I chose her, she gets the cash and the dude gets to fuck a hot chick that otherwise would possibly not give him the time of day in real life.  

Hector I would love to be completely honest but with compassion...example, guy going down on me and it is not doing a darn thing even with direction...I would love to be able to say " I appreciate your effort, but I would love to be more focused on you", or something to that effect. Having to fake a chore but sometimes a much needed chore in order to fulfill a clients desire or to just get him to stop. Ladies you know the type that keep going regardless of all body language that it is not working because they are on a mission to get you to come. How refreshing would be to just say dude, "not going to happen" AND not have him pout or write the hooker was unresponsive etc.

I am lucky that I have long term guys that I can say that to and they get it.

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
And if there were not so many touchy egos we hookers could be more honest and genuine and still provide great service.  
   
 When I stated in another post that some guys who get upset that the hooker is not as into him as he is into her, it was coming from a place of "please do you not have a mirror and realize that you are 60 years old and screwing a hot 24 year old"...how can you blame her if she is not dripping wet at the sight of you?    
   
 Hey some might but the realistic view would be most likely not, but I chose her, she gets the cash and the dude gets to fuck a hot chick that otherwise would possibly not give him the time of day in real life.  
   
 Hector I would love to be completely honest but with compassion...example, guy going down on me and it is not doing a darn thing even with direction...I would love to be able to say " I appreciate your effort, but I would love to be more focused on you", or something to that effect. Having to fake a chore but sometimes a much needed chore in order to fulfill a clients desire or to just get him to stop. Ladies you know the type that keep going regardless of all body language that it is not working because they are on a mission to get you to come. How refreshing would be to just say dude, "not going to happen" AND not have him pout or write the hooker was unresponsive etc.  
   
 I am lucky that I have long term guys that I can say that to and they get it.
You know I would love such honesty as  "I appreciate your effort, but I would love to be more focused on you" or "It just isn't going to happen for me today." I want the ladies I am with to enjoy being there and feeling yout have to put on an act doesn't seem fun.  

There is more to enjoying the companionship of intimate time than the "O". There is the company for instance. A good massage does wonders.

Posted By: scoed
 
   
Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
And if there were not so many touchy egos we hookers could be more honest and genuine and still provide great service.    
     
  When I stated in another post that some guys who get upset that the hooker is not as into him as he is into her, it was coming from a place of "please do you not have a mirror and realize that you are 60 years old and screwing a hot 24 year old"...how can you blame her if she is not dripping wet at the sight of you?    
     
  Hey some might but the realistic view would be most likely not, but I chose her, she gets the cash and the dude gets to fuck a hot chick that otherwise would possibly not give him the time of day in real life.    
     
  Hector I would love to be completely honest but with compassion...example, guy going down on me and it is not doing a darn thing even with direction...I would love to be able to say " I appreciate your effort, but I would love to be more focused on you", or something to that effect. Having to fake a chore but sometimes a much needed chore in order to fulfill a clients desire or to just get him to stop. Ladies you know the type that keep going regardless of all body language that it is not working because they are on a mission to get you to come. How refreshing would be to just say dude, "not going to happen" AND not have him pout or write the hooker was unresponsive etc.  
     
  I am lucky that I have long term guys that I can say that to and they get it.
You know I would love such honesty as  "I appreciate your effort, but I would love to be more focused on you" or "It just isn't going to happen for me today." I want the ladies I am with to enjoy being there and feeling yout have to put on an act doesn't seem fun.  
   
 There is more to enjoying the companionship of intimate time than the "O". There is the company for instance. A good massage does wonders.

Kissing, conversation and she let's loose a little bit to also enjoy the time in the session. If I can also get to know them a little, I'll become a regular.

I get I am not the best looking guy out there and honestly I don't mind if the lady is realistic in that. I mean I choose her not the other way around, but what I am really seeking is a lady who will just enjoy what I do offer. Someone who enjoys talking and sharing and meeting people. Someone who will be themselves instead of the perfect little hooker. Part of what I enjoy is just the various personalities in this game. I love the sex, but to be honest sometimes I just don't work down there for medical reasons, but if the lady is fun and lets down her act I still enjoy my time and I honestly think most of the ladies do to. It isn't always about the "O"s, looks or the menu but about being genuine, outgoing, professional, and respectful. If a lady is those things I never fail to have a good time.

Please note by genuine I am not taking about anything more that being her and not an act. I am not taking about talking about her life or giving any information she could regret later. What I most admire about some of the ladies on this board is how honest they are. It is sad that a lady sometimes thinks she must pretend I am her dream guy. I get that is what many guys are after, but I am good at reading people face to face and the act makes me feel worse than the truth. I know I am atypical.

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