He is busy romping around on the beach and getting laid. He even made me wait for responses to my emails. PFFFFF. He has been earning thousands of spankings til I meet him. Been keeping tabs in a huge ass notebook. LOL.
He fell off the top spot awhile back dear, catch up.It's really sad, but I think he's happy, so just let him do his thing.
He has ZERO reviews, so he's probably just a poser anyway.
He will reply to this and to him it will be clever, but the rest of us will just laugh at him.
I mean it. Why do they waste their civvie time and money on these f’in loser/user boyfriends?
So in this case the specific beef runs like this: For a variety of reasons, she hasn’t been able to work much the past few months. It’s a big clusterf— having to do with legal stuff, stuff with the loser bf, etc, which has made it tougher for her to give it her all in providing—let’s remember there is a certain amount of “acting” involved in this wacky game of ours. Not being able to “be present” is not likely to keep those 10/10s and Benjis flowing.
Since I’m a moron (hey, at least I admit it), and since we see a lot of each other, and (again, I admit it), I’m really nuts about her, I’ve tried to be emotionally supportive as she’s been dealing with all this stuff. Lots of late night convos, me trying to lift her spirits, etc.
About a month ago, she was telling me it was 95% it was over with the bf—she was pissed off at his insensitivity to her issues, was pissed off that she had been supporting him for the past year and change so that he could pursue his dream job at a startup (which pays in nothing but cheese sandwiches and stock options which *might* be worth something someday, but in practice will probably be worth zero), etc. So there she is, working in “the industry”, and whatever she doesn’t piss away on buying new clothing, shoes, etc, she’s wasting on supporting him. I have a pretty good handle on what she makes in a year—and it’s pretty f’in healthy for an all-cash business. Maybe if she wasn’t busy supporting loser-boy, she might actually have something to show for it all. (btw, she’s only broken up with loser-boy “forever” about four or five times in the three years I’ve known her, so Yeah, that’s on her—I figure he must have the biggest schlong the world has ever seen—because he can’t possibly be worth the trouble for any other reason)
And then finally she caves: Since she’s been unable to work, she’s been unable to stay current on her bills. She asks me for a small “advance” against our next playdate (yet to be scheduled, but hey, no biggie—we always have a date coming up), and she even throws in an offer of OTC time in there also. So since I’m a moron, I say “sure”.
Two days later, she’s back with Skippy the wonder-schlong, and everything is great in her world. She’s touring again, and she’s broadcasting to her huge following on social media about how wonderful Skippy is, posting pix on Instagram from all of her travels, etc.
Uh-huh. All because I helped her out. Again, I didn’t mind helping her out, I know she’s good for the money. The parts that piss me off are that 1) I feel like I was an enabler. What would have happened if I hadn’t indicated that I was willing to help her out with her bills? Would she and loser-boy have reconciled quite so easily? One way or another, he knew that she was going to somehow come up with the means to pay her bills; I really have no idea how much/how little their finances are commingled, but the timing is funny—she’s depressed, she’s falling behind on her bills, she and loser-boy are “95% done” and then suddenly everything is great as soon as she gets a cash infusion. Hmm.
2) Now that everything’s wonderful, I’m not hearing from her quite so much. We’ve always been in touch rather frequently, especially these past few months when she was so down in the dumps. Suddenly (duh), she’s not quite as willing to respond to a text message just saying, “Hi, how’s your day going,” or anything similar. It’s like I’ve been turned back into one more sycophant, desperately trying to get the attention of a Penthouse model (which in fact, she is). Well hey, I’m not just a client, I’m also a friend (or so I thought, anyway). She leads this glam lifestyle, is able to support Skippy (who will for sure leave her if she is no longer able to float him financially—or if he gets a better deal someplace), and yet, when the chips are down, who can she rely on? Not Skippy, not any of her fellow providers, not her family…Nope. Just li’l ol’ me.
And of course, if I dare tell her that I feel like I’ve been treated shabbily, she’ll just tell me to stick it—and I’ll never get the money back—which I don’t even really care about. I just like to spend time with her. Once we get past all this weird psychodrama, and it’s just us BCD..well, it’s just about the most awesome thing imaginable. I barely want to see any other provider.
idk…maybe I was just asking for this once we made this relationship part provider/client and part friends with benefits. All’s I know is that Skippy is an asshole, and yet she keeps running back to him for more abuse. And: I swear I’m not trying to turn this into a haggling type situation (generally speaking, I never haggle with providers—it’s a losing game for everybody), but really, wouldn’t you think that a provider who gets this kind of help could at least “fake it” and be a bit nicer than usual to a regular repeat client who just loaned her $XXXX? idk, I would’ve hated to say “No” to her in that spot—she was so clearly in pain. But it might have been better for our “relationship” if I had.
Next time she’s in deep doo-doo financially, go get help from Skippy the wonder-schlong. Maybe then she’ll find out what is real and what is not—and who cares about her and who doesn’t. And who is fond of her not because of what she can do for them, but who she is.
So seriously, ladies: Who is there here on TER who can say that you’re in a “real” non-user-ish civvie relationship with your IRL boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/whatever. You know, like where your partner provides something roughly financially comparable to the marital (or whatever) pool? And you don’t need to go borrow money from one of your clients just because your SO has run up the tab/has been so emotionally unsupportive that it’s affected your ability to make a living?
It would be nice to hear that not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish. Because I gotta tell you, that’s all I see in this crazy world of ours…
You really seriously think EVERY one of them is a douche bag pimp????
I asked if there are any providers who do not have douchebag pimp boyfriends/husbands.
I've never seen/heard of anything but d-bag SOs--but I'm willing (hopeful, even) to be proven wrong.
absolutes is a douchebag.
Do you REALLY think that ALL providers have Douchebag husbands? REALY?
If being drunk at 3am is considered a douchebag than maybe I am??? ROFL
... a drunk.
didn't you know that already?
Do you REALLY think that ALL providers have Douchebag husbands? REALY?
If being drunk at 3am is considered a douchebag than maybe I am??? ROFL
Oh because you "helped out" and she went on vacation... Yeah that happens.
Oh you want her to realize your help and concern as an invested client is "real" and her d-bag BF's is not? Yeah no.
Don't get involved with ladies that present drama! And run for the hills when asked for money NOT worked for, you will get played. Simple. And don't generalize or assume makes you sound like an ass. That would be like me saying why do all guys that hobby can't get it IRL when hello, that is NOT true in the slightest!
You got brought along on her little ride, be smarter and move on. We all make mistakes on who we love, we attract and protect what we like, and everyone deserves love, so who are you to judge who she or any provider gets involved with? B
The "vacation"/tour was disclosed to me in advance--I have no problems there.
I'm not an "invested client"--whatever the hell that means...
Drama? Yeah, she's a drama queen--and her f'd up life is as much attributable to unforced errors as it is to "shit happens"...as for $$, believe me when I say that the amounts involved are minuscule compared to how much she earns from me alone over the course of a year. If she wanted to "sting" me, she would have done it for a lot more $$ than the amounts at issue here. I haven't been played, she is good for it.
Who am I to judge? I know in the politically-correct 21st century, nobody is allowed to make "judgments" about anything--especially about the personal lives of others. Too f'in bad. I'll call 'em as I see 'em. I would much rather see her lose this guy and find someone with whom she is truly compatible and could enjoy life with--and who would not constantly be dragging her down.
You think that this little anecdote of mine is the only time I've seen the boyfriend act like a douchebag pimp? Well, it's not--it's just the most recent and most obvious. The only providers I know where the boyfriend/husband was not a douchebag pimp are the ones who don't have boyfriends, for whatever reason.
Meanwhile, my original question is unanswered: Please tell me about a provider whose boyfriend/husband is not a user/loser/douchebag pimp....
I know a few providers whose SOs are not douchebags or pimps... one is on the board. Personally, I never got how a dude could have a wife/GF who did this for a living but just because I don't get it, does not mean it can't work for others. It would just never work for me. I can't imagine having to bang a boyfriend several times a week and then expect my vagina to be capable of taking more d(ck for money. I would most certainly slack in one of those areas, and it would likely be with the boyfriend.
I'm not an "invested client"--whatever the hell that means...
Drama? Yeah, she's a drama queen--and her f'd up life is as much attributable to unforced errors as it is to "shit happens"...as for $$, believe me when I say that the amounts involved are minuscule compared to how much she earns from me alone over the course of a year. If she wanted to "sting" me, she would have done it for a lot more $$ than the amounts at issue here. I haven't been played, she is good for it.
Who am I to judge? I know in the politically-correct 21st century, nobody is allowed to make "judgments" about anything--especially about the personal lives of others. Too f'in bad. I'll call 'em as I see 'em. I would much rather see her lose this guy and find someone with whom she is truly compatible and could enjoy life with--and who would not constantly be dragging her down.
You think that this little anecdote of mine is the only time I've seen the boyfriend act like a douchebag pimp? Well, it's not--it's just the most recent and most obvious. The only providers I know where the boyfriend/husband was not a douchebag pimp are the ones who don't have boyfriends, for whatever reason.
Meanwhile, my original question is unanswered: Please tell me about a provider whose boyfriend/husband is not a user/loser/douchebag pimp....
...not in any strict sense of the word. Yeah I'm crazy about her, but I know that it's ridiculous to think of having a "real relationship" with her--but I also don't think it's crazy to think that we're friends of some sort. (I know that's not part of the London Rayne playbook, but there's more than one way to skin a cat)
OTOH, I end up seeing a small number of providers on a regular rotating basis--just the way I roll. I always end up "knowing too much" about the personal lives of the ladies I see regularly. The truth is that I'm a soft touch. I'd help any of my special friends if I thought they were legitimately in need--and I wouldn't care that much if I got the money back in a timely fashion or not.
The real point here is that it's bad enough that I know that I'm indirectly supporting Skippy with every nickel I give her. In this case, it just seemed too directly connected: "Woe is me, I'm breaking up with Skippy, oh now I have money, everything between Skippy and me is great".
And like I said, this is FAR from the only time I've seen shit go sideways between a provider and her boyfriend. I've seen providers treated badly by their d-bag boyfriends at least a half-dozen other times--and those times, I had no personal involvement, and no $$ were at issue.
So my rhetorical question is still the same. Where are the providers with non d-bag pimp boyfriends?
I've never had a boyfriend whilst doing this.... in fact, it's been a good 10 years since I have had any time of relationship that involved feelings other than deep concern and friendship. You're far too involved.. period. It's none of your business and quite frankly, she should not be bringing her personal issues into this nor should you be posting threads about her. That in and of itself, is odd and shows you might be a bit more involved than you lead on. My close personal provider friends do not have boyfriends either, because they could not do this if so. I really don't know what to tell you, other than to seek out women who are more independent. Many women can't live without a man in their lives... whatever.
OTOH, I end up seeing a small number of providers on a regular rotating basis--just the way I roll. I always end up "knowing too much" about the personal lives of the ladies I see regularly. The truth is that I'm a soft touch. I'd help any of my special friends if I thought they were legitimately in need--and I wouldn't care that much if I got the money back in a timely fashion or not.
The real point here is that it's bad enough that I know that I'm indirectly supporting Skippy with every nickel I give her. In this case, it just seemed too directly connected: "Woe is me, I'm breaking up with Skippy, oh now I have money, everything between Skippy and me is great".
And like I said, this is FAR from the only time I've seen shit go sideways between a provider and her boyfriend. I've seen providers treated badly by their d-bag boyfriends at least a half-dozen other times--and those times, I had no personal involvement, and no $$ were at issue.
So my rhetorical question is still the same. Where are the providers with non d-bag pimp boyfriends?
The answer is quite simple, women with solid relationships don't share that fact with customers, especially nosy "do gooders" who want to insinuate themselves into every hooker's life they bang.
Look at it from the lady's POV, why in the world would she ever share the fact that she has a kind loving SO waiting for her at home? Talk about a fast way to kill the fantasy.
For the record, I have known dozens, maybe even hundreds of ladies who do this for a living who have/had perfectly decent BF's, sometimes that BF was me, and while I might be an asshole, I have never any direct benefit from the labors of any hooker GF I might have had, unless letting her buy lunch or dinner every once in a while makes me a pimp.
For the record, the reason I know so many hookers and their BF is that I have dated a few "agency girls" and even a couple of AMP girls who all had many, many friends who did the same thing for a living, so it was natural to get to know their friends, and the BF's of said friends.
The novel you are writing struggles to insert yourself into a relationship not only with the woman but also with her SO. Earth to CC: this is P4P. When the hotel room door closes behind you and the maid in the corridor glances at you indifferently, you can cherish the memories of the mammaries. The End.
And then where would we be? xoxo
Very very few people could pull it off.
I bet that lovely mouth of yours would put in some overtime though.
And good advice pertaining to being asked for money, not worked for.
Gullibility equals certain disappointment.
Besides, this arrangement works so much better when money isn't discussed at all, the ladies post the rate for their time, our envelopes are correct and everyone is happy. I can't for the life of me figure out why this seems so difficult.
You are not alone in "enabling" as you put it, the sometimes nefarious activities of some providers. On over a dozen occasions I also have been suckered in, and since I could afford it and I genuinely liked the gal, I forked over cash, sometimes some very big bundles too.
Sometimes it all worked out fine. She got through the disaster and the debt was paid off in kind, so no biggy. Other times, not so much. In the worse case I found out that she was hooked on crack and that's where all the money went. Oh well, live and learn.
So make up your mind how you feel about doing this kind of thing. If it drives you nuts as it appears to be doing, then just don't do it any more. She'll find someone else and so will you.
I take a philosophical approach to it and don't let it get to me.
And to answer your question: Yes, there are some providers who have SOs and are not exploited by them. I've met a few over the years too. You'd think it would be a very awkward situation, but it really wasn't.
This will also work out fine--at least in the superficial sense--I know I'll be reimbursed, with the OTC time thrown in as agreed. There's no crack habit involved or anything like that.
Not to sound like I'm pulling for a certain outcome or anything, but: If she had borrowed the money and still managed to dump Skippy the Wonder-Schlong, I would have been totally ok (and No, not because I think I would have a shot at being the new Wonder-Schlong--it's more that I would have felt assured that "this time was different" and that she really was moving on--she's hardly the first person I've ever known to stay in a crappy relationship rather than deal with the shitstorm that bailing from a relationship entails).
If she were single and having financial trouble, none of this would be an issue. If she was in a real-life LTR, and was having financial trouble that was not somehow related to Skippy, I'd be fine with that, too. It's the combination of the two that pissed me off, and kept me from being "philosophical" about it.
And, ok fish, you say you've met some providers who are not exploited by their SOs, and that it wasn't awkward to meet the SO. That's great--it's nice to hear that. But what if you had a provider friend who WAS obviously being exploited by her SO? Would you find that awkward?
If I wanted to, I could arrange to be in the same place as Skippy. Some of his "professional" activities and mine intersect, so it would be trivial to be in the same place at the same time. I'm glad it's never worked out that way though, since I'd probably punch his lights out.
A) Her for making you feel stupid?
B) Him for making you look stupid"
C) Yourself for being stupid?
D) All of the above.
You truly are a moron, Are you planning on entering this year's SPOTY's?
For douchebaggily coming into a thread where I was asking for feedback from the ladies, not the dudes.
When you post a novella on the GD board spewing this kind of nonsense, expect some feedback. GaG can be harsh, but more often than not his message is directly on point and makes complete sense.
Apparently the GD board is the wrong place to "post a novella"? Where would the "right place" be? And please, no name-calling. This is (in theory) a place where providers and hobbyists can post about the good times and the bad times, ask for and offer advice, etc. If GD (or perhaps all of TER) is not the right place to have discussions like this, maybe it's time for a whole new website.
You want advice. Stop playing the sycophant (your word, not mine) and grow up. You're obviously smitten with a hooker and jealous of the fact she'd rather be with a douche bag (once again, your words not mine) BF than you. You think you have this serious friendship with this woman, but according to your story, it is predicated solely on financial renumeration. Not the typical way a friendship is sustained, but hey, maybe you have some other endearing qualities you have yet to reveal that would make her value your company as much as you seem to value hers. You sound like a typical WK who confuses P4P with true love, feelings, emotions, etc. You think a hooker's performance while on the clock, and her willingness to engage you when seeking a bail out denotes far more than what it truly is. You are nothing but a tool to this woman, and she has no more feeling for you than she does for any other John she entertains. You said it yourself, if you called her out on this she would drop you in a second. Long story short, either put this in perspective and enjoy your P4P sexual encounters for what they really are, uncommitted carnal adventures, or wallow in misery and confusion, waiting for the next hooker to break your heart.
He is not the only dude to reply to your ladies only post.
In fact dude (I do not have the time to take a count but) it sure appears more dudes replied than ladies.
You’re welcome
2015 = 28
BTW no need to apologize
And speaking of douche bags your dipwad alias is not exactly courageous
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 5:24:47 PM
but fortunately, I have not had any reason to meet them, but you never know for sure in this world of ours.
If I ever live to tell the tale, you can be sure I will.
As for your desire for your gal to dump her albatross, good luck with that. You just have to deal with the situation you have, not the one you'd like to have.
You got sucked up in the drama. Simply put, you can't fix stupid. When she is fed up and ready to leave that idiot she will, or she won't. You have no control. Disengage from this trainwreck and move on. Life is too short, be happy!
Abbey
Wow, met the "partner" of a provider. I would find that very awkward
... and are way to involved in this woman's life.
I've seen one provider about five times, and we still don't know each other's name.
This is why you should not get into the personal life of someone who escorts for money. Its only natural that hookers attract pimps.
Oh no, here on TER, we cater only to the "true indies", and the gents who "donate" to them.
Hookers? Pimps? None of that here! Sorry, just a little sarcasm at my own expense...couldn't help it...
Been single for a few years... Not that I don't date, just not committed to that point where our finances would mingle.
I am seeking more and have yet to find it. Learned quite a long time ago not to settle for less than what I need and want. Plus I am very family/friend orientated, so I don't have a lot of time to do that, work, and have a deep relationship at the moment.
Stop giving money that isn't earned. You say it is no biggie, but you do have feelings involved. She will get what she wants from someone. Fueling user type behavior only makes her do it more. Yes, not just her bf that is a user in this relationship. She is using you and playing on your feelings. No one needs to feel sorry for her mess, she needs to learn to be a responsible adult. Her going on vacation after you gave the money really speaks volumes on how much she cares about the nice gesture you did for her.
I am a big believer in taking care of your own mess and being independent. I rarely have ever asked for help and only when I had no other choice. It makes one stronger to handle your own issues.
Learned a long time ago that you can't buy love or friendship, at least not the real stuff.
Let her sink and one day she will learn to swim.
Yeah, it's true--there's more than one user here. Again though, I do have to maintain that the "vacation" was part of a whole working/touring thing, so I really am ok with that--it's just the making it easy for her to gloss over the problems (for now) with her bf that annoyed me.
I'm resolved to this much--I'm not helping her out again if her circumstances don't change. Being a witness to this self-destructive behavior is too much for me.
I'd be willing to bet you are not the only one who is helping her, both finacially and emotionally. So, if it wasn't you doing the enabling, it would be some one else.
So in this case the specific beef runs like this: For a variety of reasons, she hasn’t been able to work much the past few months. It’s a big clusterf— having to do with legal stuff, stuff with the loser bf, etc, which has made it tougher for her to give it her all in providing—let’s remember there is a certain amount of “acting” involved in this wacky game of ours. Not being able to “be present” is not likely to keep those 10/10s and Benjis flowing.
Since I’m a moron (hey, at least I admit it), and since we see a lot of each other, and (again, I admit it), I’m really nuts about her, I’ve tried to be emotionally supportive as she’s been dealing with all this stuff. Lots of late night convos, me trying to lift her spirits, etc.
About a month ago, she was telling me it was 95% it was over with the bf—she was pissed off at his insensitivity to her issues, was pissed off that she had been supporting him for the past year and change so that he could pursue his dream job at a startup (which pays in nothing but cheese sandwiches and stock options which *might* be worth something someday, but in practice will probably be worth zero), etc. So there she is, working in “the industry”, and whatever she doesn’t piss away on buying new clothing, shoes, etc, she’s wasting on supporting him. I have a pretty good handle on what she makes in a year—and it’s pretty f’in healthy for an all-cash business. Maybe if she wasn’t busy supporting loser-boy, she might actually have something to show for it all. (btw, she’s only broken up with loser-boy “forever” about four or five times in the three years I’ve known her, so Yeah, that’s on her—I figure he must have the biggest schlong the world has ever seen—because he can’t possibly be worth the trouble for any other reason)
And then finally she caves: Since she’s been unable to work, she’s been unable to stay current on her bills. She asks me for a small “advance” against our next playdate (yet to be scheduled, but hey, no biggie—we always have a date coming up), and she even throws in an offer of OTC time in there also. So since I’m a moron, I say “sure”.
Two days later, she’s back with Skippy the wonder-schlong, and everything is great in her world. She’s touring again, and she’s broadcasting to her huge following on social media about how wonderful Skippy is, posting pix on Instagram from all of her travels, etc.
Uh-huh. All because I helped her out. Again, I didn’t mind helping her out, I know she’s good for the money. The parts that piss me off are that 1) I feel like I was an enabler. What would have happened if I hadn’t indicated that I was willing to help her out with her bills? Would she and loser-boy have reconciled quite so easily? One way or another, he knew that she was going to somehow come up with the means to pay her bills; I really have no idea how much/how little their finances are commingled, but the timing is funny—she’s depressed, she’s falling behind on her bills, she and loser-boy are “95% done” and then suddenly everything is great as soon as she gets a cash infusion. Hmm.
2) Now that everything’s wonderful, I’m not hearing from her quite so much. We’ve always been in touch rather frequently, especially these past few months when she was so down in the dumps. Suddenly (duh), she’s not quite as willing to respond to a text message just saying, “Hi, how’s your day going,” or anything similar. It’s like I’ve been turned back into one more sycophant, desperately trying to get the attention of a Penthouse model (which in fact, she is). Well hey, I’m not just a client, I’m also a friend (or so I thought, anyway). She leads this glam lifestyle, is able to support Skippy (who will for sure leave her if she is no longer able to float him financially—or if he gets a better deal someplace), and yet, when the chips are down, who can she rely on? Not Skippy, not any of her fellow providers, not her family…Nope. Just li’l ol’ me.
And of course, if I dare tell her that I feel like I’ve been treated shabbily, she’ll just tell me to stick it—and I’ll never get the money back—which I don’t even really care about. I just like to spend time with her. Once we get past all this weird psychodrama, and it’s just us BCD..well, it’s just about the most awesome thing imaginable. I barely want to see any other provider.
idk…maybe I was just asking for this once we made this relationship part provider/client and part friends with benefits. All’s I know is that Skippy is an asshole, and yet she keeps running back to him for more abuse. And: I swear I’m not trying to turn this into a haggling type situation (generally speaking, I never haggle with providers—it’s a losing game for everybody), but really, wouldn’t you think that a provider who gets this kind of help could at least “fake it” and be a bit nicer than usual to a regular repeat client who just loaned her $XXXX? idk, I would’ve hated to say “No” to her in that spot—she was so clearly in pain. But it might have been better for our “relationship” if I had.
Next time she’s in deep doo-doo financially, go get help from Skippy the wonder-schlong. Maybe then she’ll find out what is real and what is not—and who cares about her and who doesn’t. And who is fond of her not because of what she can do for them, but who she is.
So seriously, ladies: Who is there here on TER who can say that you’re in a “real” non-user-ish civvie relationship with your IRL boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/whatever. You know, like where your partner provides something roughly financially comparable to the marital (or whatever) pool? And you don’t need to go borrow money from one of your clients just because your SO has run up the tab/has been so emotionally unsupportive that it’s affected your ability to make a living?
It would be nice to hear that not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish. Because I gotta tell you, that’s all I see in this crazy world of ours…
Really. How would I know? The one thing I do know is that it took a long time for her to ask for the financial help--I mean like several months, not a day or two.
Emotionally? I know even less for sure about that. For a long time we steered clear of talk about SOs on either side of the fence. This only came up again when she claimed that the relationship was very likely over.
Like I said, financially, I'm done for now. Emotionally...whatever...I'm not taking any of her probs with the bf seriously anymore.
Now she's in a better place and seeing you to pay back the money she owes you is not the priority that she probably thought it would be when she originally made the deal.
There was a saying in a 12 step group that went, "if one person tells you something you can take it or leave it. If two people tell you something you should seriously consider that it might be true. If three people all tell you the same thing then more than likely it is true."
You are too close to this right now. You wanted some advice and the advice you are getting is related to the true issue which is that you are too involved and that you've blurred the boundaries, not whether or not Providers have a SO or not or what kind of SO they have.
As someone else already said, you're right to be involved in the providers life ends when the hotel door closes.
And here I thought I was my wife's loving husband. True she makes good money but then again I make better. In fact her money is hers to spend on whatever floats her boat and I pay all the household bills. Shit that isn't very pimp-like.
Hmm maybe I am abusive. Let's see I don't hit her, we'll out side of our BDSM play dates where not only does she agree to it but would be disappointed if I didn't. I do tease her a bit but she dishes it right back. I don't belittle her. Why would I? She is the mother of my child and the love of my life. Yes, I can be a douchebag but rarely to her.
Not supporting maybe? Let's see when she wanted to provide I gave her the green light. When she is upset I hold her and let her vent. I love her and will do anything I would do for her. I make time for her. I still take her on dates even though we been married for 11 years. She is my best friend. I think she feels the same in return. Maybe I am wrong.
I guess I sleep around on her, but she encouraged me to and even joins in. Our open marriage was her idea. I think she gets off on my sessions with these lovely ladies.
I don't see it but we all know over involved "moron" clients can't be wrong. So I must be a douchebag pimp. Good to know. Please explain how I just don't see it. Not that I am doubting the fact, but can you explain exactly how I am a douchebag pimp? Thanks.
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 8:42:39 AM
A lot of people date a lot of different douchebags. I don't think it's a requirement for dating a professional companion though.
that you have become to close to her, that she feels for you and she feels
like when she is fucking you or with you, she feels she is cheating on her boyfriend. She wants you in her life but can no
longer fuck you...for she does not fuck her friends!
lol sorry but the issue is not her boyfriend or her but you my man. I suggest you get
that prepaid session in and never call her again.
good luck! and Count de Monet
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 3:10:24 AM
She has other friends who are clients who are friends who are clients.
It's just sorta the way she operates. If you spend any amount of time with her, you tend to know her real name and a fair bit else about her. I know it's not "normal" or "not the way we do things in TER-land", but it is what works for her. btw, she's barely even mentioned/reviewed here on TER, so that's why I can even talk about this at all.
And "my issue" isn't about this one scenario. "My issue" is Where are all the non-pimp non-user boyfriends of providers? So far, we've heard rumors that they do exist from mrfisher--but nobody else has yet offered any hardcore or first-person accounts of these mythical SOs.
At least three of us have come forward already, Fisher, scoed and I are hardly "mythical"
Are you sure that you aren't just trying for extra SPOTY points?
Because it's honestly none of your damn business! None of anyone's business for that matter, and your very personal account attests to this! Take your money out of the equation and see how nice she is. You are what we fear, what we dread when seeing clients that can't distinguish fantasy from reality, and when to get that you aren't going to be the one to ride her off into the sunset on your white horse.
And "my issue" isn't about this one scenario. "My issue" is Where are all the non-pimp non-user boyfriends of providers? So far, we've heard rumors that they do exist from mrfisher--but nobody else has yet offered any hardcore or first-person accounts of these mythical SOs.
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 12:34:33 PM
Money, the tool for trade but not the only one. You put entirely too much stock in something that is pretty worthless. I'm not money motivated, never have been. What's your money bought you?! Looks like a bunch of heartache, good luck with that.
They think to themselves that money is everything, and it bugs the fuck out of them that a woman they have to pay for sex not only fucks some other "lesser guy" for free, but will even share her hard earned money with some "loser"
How many movies have we seen where the hero is the dashing, but poor "bad boy" and the villain is the spoiled rich kid who tries to buy the love of the heroine? This is just more of the same.
Her Dad was a loser, often jobless and abusive to her Mom when she was a child.
Her Mom was the backbone of her family.
When she became a woman subconsciously she yearned to be treated like her Mom, she searched for a jerk like her Dad.
You are the moron who believes financial equality is a sign of a stable relationship, yet you don't realize flaunting your money buys indifference toward you.
There are dysfunctional relationships in every town, poor, rich, or middling, even on streets absent of hookers and johns.
Your child hood was not like hers but dysfunctional none the less.
You are attracted to women like her because that's the way you roll.
So in this case the specific beef runs like this: For a variety of reasons, she hasn’t been able to work much the past few months. It’s a big clusterf— having to do with legal stuff, stuff with the loser bf, etc, which has made it tougher for her to give it her all in providing—let’s remember there is a certain amount of “acting” involved in this wacky game of ours. Not being able to “be present” is not likely to keep those 10/10s and Benjis flowing.
Since I’m a moron (hey, at least I admit it), and since we see a lot of each other, and (again, I admit it), I’m really nuts about her, I’ve tried to be emotionally supportive as she’s been dealing with all this stuff. Lots of late night convos, me trying to lift her spirits, etc.
About a month ago, she was telling me it was 95% it was over with the bf—she was pissed off at his insensitivity to her issues, was pissed off that she had been supporting him for the past year and change so that he could pursue his dream job at a startup (which pays in nothing but cheese sandwiches and stock options which *might* be worth something someday, but in practice will probably be worth zero), etc. So there she is, working in “the industry”, and whatever she doesn’t piss away on buying new clothing, shoes, etc, she’s wasting on supporting him. I have a pretty good handle on what she makes in a year—and it’s pretty f’in healthy for an all-cash business. Maybe if she wasn’t busy supporting loser-boy, she might actually have something to show for it all. (btw, she’s only broken up with loser-boy “forever” about four or five times in the three years I’ve known her, so Yeah, that’s on her—I figure he must have the biggest schlong the world has ever seen—because he can’t possibly be worth the trouble for any other reason)
And then finally she caves: Since she’s been unable to work, she’s been unable to stay current on her bills. She asks me for a small “advance” against our next playdate (yet to be scheduled, but hey, no biggie—we always have a date coming up), and she even throws in an offer of OTC time in there also. So since I’m a moron, I say “sure”.
Two days later, she’s back with Skippy the wonder-schlong, and everything is great in her world. She’s touring again, and she’s broadcasting to her huge following on social media about how wonderful Skippy is, posting pix on Instagram from all of her travels, etc.
Uh-huh. All because I helped her out. Again, I didn’t mind helping her out, I know she’s good for the money. The parts that piss me off are that 1) I feel like I was an enabler. What would have happened if I hadn’t indicated that I was willing to help her out with her bills? Would she and loser-boy have reconciled quite so easily? One way or another, he knew that she was going to somehow come up with the means to pay her bills; I really have no idea how much/how little their finances are commingled, but the timing is funny—she’s depressed, she’s falling behind on her bills, she and loser-boy are “95% done” and then suddenly everything is great as soon as she gets a cash infusion. Hmm.
2) Now that everything’s wonderful, I’m not hearing from her quite so much. We’ve always been in touch rather frequently, especially these past few months when she was so down in the dumps. Suddenly (duh), she’s not quite as willing to respond to a text message just saying, “Hi, how’s your day going,” or anything similar. It’s like I’ve been turned back into one more sycophant, desperately trying to get the attention of a Penthouse model (which in fact, she is). Well hey, I’m not just a client, I’m also a friend (or so I thought, anyway). She leads this glam lifestyle, is able to support Skippy (who will for sure leave her if she is no longer able to float him financially—or if he gets a better deal someplace), and yet, when the chips are down, who can she rely on? Not Skippy, not any of her fellow providers, not her family…Nope. Just li’l ol’ me.
And of course, if I dare tell her that I feel like I’ve been treated shabbily, she’ll just tell me to stick it—and I’ll never get the money back—which I don’t even really care about. I just like to spend time with her. Once we get past all this weird psychodrama, and it’s just us BCD..well, it’s just about the most awesome thing imaginable. I barely want to see any other provider.
idk…maybe I was just asking for this once we made this relationship part provider/client and part friends with benefits. All’s I know is that Skippy is an asshole, and yet she keeps running back to him for more abuse. And: I swear I’m not trying to turn this into a haggling type situation (generally speaking, I never haggle with providers—it’s a losing game for everybody), but really, wouldn’t you think that a provider who gets this kind of help could at least “fake it” and be a bit nicer than usual to a regular repeat client who just loaned her $XXXX? idk, I would’ve hated to say “No” to her in that spot—she was so clearly in pain. But it might have been better for our “relationship” if I had.
Next time she’s in deep doo-doo financially, go get help from Skippy the wonder-schlong. Maybe then she’ll find out what is real and what is not—and who cares about her and who doesn’t. And who is fond of her not because of what she can do for them, but who she is.
So seriously, ladies: Who is there here on TER who can say that you’re in a “real” non-user-ish civvie relationship with your IRL boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/whatever. You know, like where your partner provides something roughly financially comparable to the marital (or whatever) pool? And you don’t need to go borrow money from one of your clients just because your SO has run up the tab/has been so emotionally unsupportive that it’s affected your ability to make a living?
It would be nice to hear that not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish. Because I gotta tell you, that’s all I see in this crazy world of ours…
And all from just a couple of posts. Not only are you capable of diagnosing me, you're also capable of diagnosing providers whom you've never even met or had any interactions at all with.
Wow. You are special. Are you like, Dr Phil or something?
when I tell you to get those prepaid sessions in before you give her any more money. If you accumulate too many prepaid sessions, trust me, my friend, you will never see her again. As much as you like her, she is using you. I've been there, and it's painful, and I feel for you. But it is in your best interests to gather the will power to move on. As a provider friend once told me, when it comes to a choice between you and the money, they will choose the money every time.
The providers I know who have SOs think they're great guys. I've opined to these ladies that their guys must be very secure and trusting fellows, and they agreed.
But then, this isn't like a random sample. I bet one reason I like these providers so much is that they have a positive, loving relationship with their SOs. I think it influences how they approach their work as providers.
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 12:08:28 PM
Three dudes who claim that they are not douchebag pimps (although two of them certainly "sound" like douchebags from the language they use when posting--but hey, it's the internet, so I guess it's considered to be "ok" to "sound" like a douchebag--or something).
However, I did ask to hear from the ladies on this. A dude asserting "I am not a douchebag" doesn't quite cut it on the credibility scale. It's like if I said "I am not a moron who tends to get too emotionally involved with providers". See? No credibility.
I did hear privately from one young lady who claims that her bf is not a d-bag pimp. I don't know--she sounds legit. However, her TER profile is non-existent, so again, not much cred.
Most of the ladies are like London--not ashamed to admit that providing and having a civvie relationship at the same time is difficult/impossible/undesirable.
ok, maybe somewhere in all of this there is possibly one or two real non-douchebag non-pimp SOs. However, I'm convinced of one thing: When in doubt, assume the boyfriend/husband is a douchebag pimp until you see evidence to the contrary.
Does taking care of an ATF (who became my SO) and supporting her through grad school disqualify me from being a douchebag?
I'd still like to be a douche bag though, could you give me some advice
you seem to know the field of douchebagism really well?
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 12:42:08 PM
Douche Bag ! ! ! 
I'd still like to be a douche bag though, could you give me some advice
you seem to know the field of douchebagism really well?
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 12:42:08 PM
Have you tried douching with a fried potater?
You do realize you sound like a DB ehen you brag about doing nice things for people.
OP religiously thinks all guys dating providers are douchebags
Therefore, Douchebags = Religion
Dude,
A d-bag pimp according to what standards?
You fell for a Hooker, it happens, I know this personally. Some of them are amazing Women , some of them are not. Just like Cops, Bankers, Accountants, Teachers and on and on....
So the real issue, in my humble opinion, is that you are jealous of the particular d-bag who has the affection and attention of your chosen lady. That happens too.
You fell for a woman who loves someone else, it happens. Take a pill, take a drink or go for a run. Be happy that your pecker still works, be happy that you have the money to enjoy that fact and be happy that you are still on the green side.
Think happy thoughts.....somewhere some beautiful woman is deep-throating a cock or opening her honey pot to a blood filled male codpiece and if you would stop obsessing over this particular beautiful woman it could be yours.
So shower up get your wallet in order and go tickle some new tonsils.
This Memorial Day think of the Men and Women who have paid the ultimate price so that we can share thoughts and ideas on a fuck board. I bet they would switch with any of us in a heartbeat.
I'd own up to it, because I'm not concerned about the opinion's of other people.
However, I did ask to hear from the ladies on this. A dude asserting "I am not a douchebag" doesn't quite cut it on the credibility scale. It's like if I said "I am not a moron who tends to get too emotionally involved with providers". See? No credibility.
I did hear privately from one young lady who claims that her bf is not a d-bag pimp. I don't know--she sounds legit. However, her TER profile is non-existent, so again, not much cred.
Most of the ladies are like London--not ashamed to admit that providing and having a civvie relationship at the same time is difficult/impossible/undesirable.
ok, maybe somewhere in all of this there is possibly one or two real non-douchebag non-pimp SOs. However, I'm convinced of one thing: When in doubt, assume the boyfriend/husband is a douchebag pimp until you see evidence to the contrary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, won't be the first time, but I'm correct a lot more than the douche bag quack courageous cat idolizes, Dr. Phil.
You couldn't care less what anonymous guys and gals on a Hooker review board think about you...........but I bet there's been a Gal or two you've been concerned about.
However, I did ask to hear from the ladies on this. A dude asserting "I am not a douchebag" doesn't quite cut it on the credibility scale. It's like if I said "I am not a moron who tends to get too emotionally involved with providers". See? No credibility.
I did hear privately from one young lady who claims that her bf is not a d-bag pimp. I don't know--she sounds legit. However, her TER profile is non-existent, so again, not much cred.
Most of the ladies are like London--not ashamed to admit that providing and having a civvie relationship at the same time is difficult/impossible/undesirable.
ok, maybe somewhere in all of this there is possibly one or two real non-douchebag non-pimp SOs. However, I'm convinced of one thing: When in doubt, assume the boyfriend/husband is a douchebag pimp until you see evidence to the contrary.
but that's because I want to have sex with them.
And to be fair you called yourself a "moron", I was just agreeing with you. There really is no doubt you are right. I also fully admit I can be a huge douchebag. I just rarely am to my wife. But to a self admitted "moron" who got himself manipulated into a loan based on the fact she supposedly has a "douchebag pimp" for a SO I am in every way a "douchebag".
Have you even met this "douchebag pimp" or are you taking the word of a woman that turned cold the second she got your money? I bet you haven't even met him let alone heard his side of the story. If I am right how do you know squat about anything? Fact is he is doing something for her as she keeps going back. Maybe she isn't telling you everything?
But there are a few things you are right about. One is I am indeed a douchebag to clueless assholes that speak out of their asses and start by insulting every SO of a provider and the providers themselves for being with us. Guilty as charged. No doubt I can be a douchebag. Second thing you are right about is the fact you are a "moron". Not one person doubted you on that. Not one, that is saying something. Again for the record I fully agree with your assessment that you are indeed a "moron". At lest there are a few things we see eye to eye on. I tire of self admitted morons quickly, you may have the last word.
And fwiw, the loan wasn't based on anybody being a d-bag pimp. It was based on me helping out a friend in a jam. I'd help out any friend in a jam
Have I met "d-bag pimp"? Really? Do you think that's ever likely to happen? Do I really need/want to "hear his side of the story"? First everyone makes fun of me for being too emotionally involved. Now you want me to get more involved? And loser-boy was only a part of the reason why she was in bad shape.
No matter what, I know she's good for the loan. I will go to church on that. If for no other reason than that it's a good business decision. No question in my mind. I am worth the high end of $XXXXX to her on an annual basis. Why would she risk that for $XXXX?
I didn't insult you. I asked out into the wilderness: Are there any ladies on here who do not have d-bag pimp SOs? Mostly I heard from dudes (not ladies) who said "Nope, no d-bags here." But very few of the ladies would say so. Either they're shy (unlikely) or maybe I'm right, and the SOs mostly are d-bags (when they even exist at all).
Maybe you are one of the good ones, scoed (I mean, you just have to be, right? You said you were one of the good ones--TER wouldn't let you say that if it wasn't true). If so, it's nice to know. In the future though, I'm gonna assume that an SO of any lady I see is not "one of the good ones" as a "default" position, and act accordingly
Have I met "d-bag pimp"? Really? Do you think that's ever likely to happen? Do I really need/want to "hear his side of the story"? First everyone makes fun of me for being too emotionally involved. Now you want me to get more involved? And loser-boy was only a part of the reason why she was in bad shape.
No matter what, I know she's good for the loan. I will go to church on that. If for no other reason than that it's a good business decision. No question in my mind. I am worth the high end of $XXXXX to her on an annual basis. Why would she risk that for $XXXX?
I didn't insult you. I asked out into the wilderness: Are there any ladies on here who do not have d-bag pimp SOs? Mostly I heard from dudes (not ladies) who said "Nope, no d-bags here." But very few of the ladies would say so. Either they're shy (unlikely) or maybe I'm right, and the SOs mostly are d-bags (when they even exist at all).
Maybe you are one of the good ones, scoed (I mean, you just have to be, right? You said you were one of the good ones--TER wouldn't let you say that if it wasn't true). If so, it's nice to know. In the future though, I'm gonna assume that an SO of any lady I see is not "one of the good ones" as a "default" position, and act accordingly.
You wasn't exactly complimentary in nature. It was in fact quite hostile in nature. Just saying.
And honestly I don't want you to get more involved, just pointing out all you have is hearsay from a lady who likes drama. Pointing out you don't even have proof he is a douchebag let alone anyone else. I think you should back out of her personal life. If she wanted you there you would have met others that are important to her. You should leave things alone. If she is good for the money let her run her life.
As for the ladies lack of response, you do realize most ladies do not want "Johns" like us in their personal lives. In fact it has been expressed that saying you have an SO is bad for business. I believe it as I have seen posts where guys have said thy will not ladies they know have a SO. Ladies have a financial reason to not directly answer your post question. Do a search if you don't believe me.
Now I think I do owe you a bit of an apology. I said I would give you the last word then posted again. I also may have been overly hostile in that last post. I guess it is proof I can be a douchebag. It is exactly your concept of pimp until found otherwise that irritates me so. Many provider's get irritated at the false narrative of drugged up victim that the media plays out, we'll it is much the same with the pimp SO. More often than not, not true and very harmful. It makes me cranky to say the least.
Yeah, trying to back out of the personal life when I'm already in is tough, but the experience is worth it if I can pull it off, I think...
Ultimately, you're right--I don't have "proof". What I do have is multiply-corroborated hearsay--which is pretty damning--but Yeah, still just hearsay.
I don't know how a dude can *not* let a lady know he has someone waiting for him at home (if he is a repeat-er like me)...but hey, that's just me...as for the other side, again, she's very much "out" when it comes to her personal life....you can't *not* know about her civvie bf if you hang with her long enough....although I say she does that in part to convince herself (and him) how "real" their relationship is, and to "put some distance" between her professional and personal life (although it's kind of "close the barn door after the horse escapes" if you get my drift).
If she didn't want me in her personal life, the time to say something was three years ago, not now. I don't know if it's "just me" or not--I do know that I know far too much about her than would be considered to be "normal" on here.
Whatever. I'll survive...I'll even probably continue to see her...no more lending $$ though...it's too f'd up for me to handle, obviously.
Talking about BF/SO to client is not a good thing. I won't. Now if he wants to talk about his SO, then that is fine. Much like I am not going to sit there and talk about my clients to other clients. Our time is meant to enjoy and converse. However talking about SOs takes away from our special time. When I do have a SO, if I go tell the guy I have one, next thing you know he will be asking all sorts of questions. We need to enjoy our time together not playing 20 questions.
Not all SOs are pimps or users. Maybe some, but far from all. There will always be some users out there, whether you are an escort or have a different job.
If my SO made a lot of money and I lived off him/her, would that make me his pimp?
Once a gal draws you into her drama, good luck ever getting her to stop. She thinks you want to know (or perhaps she might be saying things to make you feel sorry for her and give her money). If you give her a boundary now, she may be upset that you are drawing the line. She got use to you giving her money when she asks for it.
And honestly I don't want you to get more involved, just pointing out all you have is hearsay from a lady who likes drama. Pointing out you don't even have proof he is a douchebag let alone anyone else. I think you should back out of her personal life. If she wanted you there you would have met others that are important to her. You should leave things alone. If she is good for the money let her run her life.
As for the ladies lack of response, you do realize most ladies do not want "Johns" like us in their personal lives. In fact it has been expressed that saying you have an SO is bad for business. I believe it as I have seen posts where guys have said thy will not ladies they know have a SO. Ladies have a financial reason to not directly answer your post question. Do a search if you don't believe me.
Now I think I do owe you a bit of an apology. I said I would give you the last word then posted again. I also may have been overly hostile in that last post. I guess it is proof I can be a douchebag. It is exactly your concept of pimp until found otherwise that irritates me so. Many provider's get irritated at the false narrative of drugged up victim that the media plays out, we'll it is much the same with the pimp SO. More often than not, not true and very harmful. It makes me cranky to say the least.
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 6:20:57 PM
don't you think he might give her nice cream pie before her session with you begins so
you might get a taste when you daty her? Or maybe give her a mouthful so you can ipso facto
blow him by default.
Ive done that with a provider "girlfriend" before at her request.
lol
bon appetite
CdM
He has to chime in and post on every thread so he can keep his Top Poster ranking.
It's really sad, but I think he's happy, so just let him do his thing.
He has ZERO reviews, so he's probably just a poser anyway.
He will reply to this and to him it will be clever, but the rest of us will just laugh at him.
He is busy romping around on the beach and getting laid. He even made me wait for responses to my emails. PFFFFF. He has been earning thousands of spankings til I meet him. Been keeping tabs in a huge ass notebook. LOL.
He fell off the top spot awhile back dear, catch up.
It's really sad, but I think he's happy, so just let him do his thing.
He has ZERO reviews, so he's probably just a poser anyway.
He will reply to this and to him it will be clever, but the rest of us will just laugh at him.
Overall a great cautionary tale if read properly.
I do not know a single provider who has the Jerry Springer lifestyle you describe. I say to you lovingly and from experience that you walked through a field of red warning flags and just kept going. I learned this lesson the hard way. It appears you got hooked on the drama of her life just as she got hooked on the drama of her knucklehead boyfriend's life. I have never "borrowed" money from a client. That doesn't even make sense. She hustled you.
The providers I know come from professional backgrounds... banking, the medical field, etc. Consider raising your standards. There are a lot of nice, normal providers out there.
The only SO I ever met was a good guy. I'm sure some are good guys and some are everything you say they are. But we know very few relationships last forever or even until the next season of the Voice. In the OPs case her current SO will be gone one day, that i'm sure of. Is it worth waiting around? Hard to say. But I tell you what - the leopard doesn't change it's spots and I'll bet you a thousand roses that next guy won't be too different from current guy.
I've fucked up pretty royally when I forget I'm on her turf. When I think her life is like the lives of all the people in my world. That she has the same needs as all the people in my world. We can have lots of fun together for a few hours but for many of us we just come from worlds apart. No better, no worse, but unmistakable worlds apart. Her world may have been similar before she became a provider but IMO there is no way they can be terribly similar now.
Guys like us, we're just passing through candyland here and then go home - but for a provider this is hour to hour, day to day, it's how she pays her bills and the type of person who fits into her world is what she needs, whatever that is. And we can't judge them any more than we want them to judge the bad choices we've made in our relationships because in the end those bad choices in our worlds are what led most of us here.
-- Modified on 5/22/2015 2:38:20 PM
I found that the best thing ever to be
So in this case the specific beef runs like this: For a variety of reasons, she hasn’t been able to work much the past few months. It’s a big clusterf— having to do with legal stuff, stuff with the loser bf, etc, which has made it tougher for her to give it her all in providing—let’s remember there is a certain amount of “acting” involved in this wacky game of ours. Not being able to “be present” is not likely to keep those 10/10s and Benjis flowing.
Since I’m a moron (hey, at least I admit it), and since we see a lot of each other, and (again, I admit it), I’m really nuts about her, I’ve tried to be emotionally supportive as she’s been dealing with all this stuff. Lots of late night convos, me trying to lift her spirits, etc.
About a month ago, she was telling me it was 95% it was over with the bf—she was pissed off at his insensitivity to her issues, was pissed off that she had been supporting him for the past year and change so that he could pursue his dream job at a startup (which pays in nothing but cheese sandwiches and stock options which *might* be worth something someday, but in practice will probably be worth zero), etc. So there she is, working in “the industry”, and whatever she doesn’t piss away on buying new clothing, shoes, etc, she’s wasting on supporting him. I have a pretty good handle on what she makes in a year—and it’s pretty f’in healthy for an all-cash business. Maybe if she wasn’t busy supporting loser-boy, she might actually have something to show for it all. (btw, she’s only broken up with loser-boy “forever” about four or five times in the three years I’ve known her, so Yeah, that’s on her—I figure he must have the biggest schlong the world has ever seen—because he can’t possibly be worth the trouble for any other reason)
And then finally she caves: Since she’s been unable to work, she’s been unable to stay current on her bills. She asks me for a small “advance” against our next playdate (yet to be scheduled, but hey, no biggie—we always have a date coming up), and she even throws in an offer of OTC time in there also. So since I’m a moron, I say “sure”.
Two days later, she’s back with Skippy the wonder-schlong, and everything is great in her world. She’s touring again, and she’s broadcasting to her huge following on social media about how wonderful Skippy is, posting pix on Instagram from all of her travels, etc.
Uh-huh. All because I helped her out. Again, I didn’t mind helping her out, I know she’s good for the money. The parts that piss me off are that 1) I feel like I was an enabler. What would have happened if I hadn’t indicated that I was willing to help her out with her bills? Would she and loser-boy have reconciled quite so easily? One way or another, he knew that she was going to somehow come up with the means to pay her bills; I really have no idea how much/how little their finances are commingled, but the timing is funny—she’s depressed, she’s falling behind on her bills, she and loser-boy are “95% done” and then suddenly everything is great as soon as she gets a cash infusion. Hmm.
2) Now that everything’s wonderful, I’m not hearing from her quite so much. We’ve always been in touch rather frequently, especially these past few months when she was so down in the dumps. Suddenly (duh), she’s not quite as willing to respond to a text message just saying, “Hi, how’s your day going,” or anything similar. It’s like I’ve been turned back into one more sycophant, desperately trying to get the attention of a Penthouse model (which in fact, she is). Well hey, I’m not just a client, I’m also a friend (or so I thought, anyway). She leads this glam lifestyle, is able to support Skippy (who will for sure leave her if she is no longer able to float him financially—or if he gets a better deal someplace), and yet, when the chips are down, who can she rely on? Not Skippy, not any of her fellow providers, not her family…Nope. Just li’l ol’ me.
And of course, if I dare tell her that I feel like I’ve been treated shabbily, she’ll just tell me to stick it—and I’ll never get the money back—which I don’t even really care about. I just like to spend time with her. Once we get past all this weird psychodrama, and it’s just us BCD..well, it’s just about the most awesome thing imaginable. I barely want to see any other provider.
idk…maybe I was just asking for this once we made this relationship part provider/client and part friends with benefits. All’s I know is that Skippy is an asshole, and yet she keeps running back to him for more abuse. And: I swear I’m not trying to turn this into a haggling type situation (generally speaking, I never haggle with providers—it’s a losing game for everybody), but really, wouldn’t you think that a provider who gets this kind of help could at least “fake it” and be a bit nicer than usual to a regular repeat client who just loaned her $XXXX? idk, I would’ve hated to say “No” to her in that spot—she was so clearly in pain. But it might have been better for our “relationship” if I had.
Next time she’s in deep doo-doo financially, go get help from Skippy the wonder-schlong. Maybe then she’ll find out what is real and what is not—and who cares about her and who doesn’t. And who is fond of her not because of what she can do for them, but who she is.
So seriously, ladies: Who is there here on TER who can say that you’re in a “real” non-user-ish civvie relationship with your IRL boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/whatever. You know, like where your partner provides something roughly financially comparable to the marital (or whatever) pool? And you don’t need to go borrow money from one of your clients just because your SO has run up the tab/has been so emotionally unsupportive that it’s affected your ability to make a living?
It would be nice to hear that not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish. Because I gotta tell you, that’s all I see in this crazy world of ours…
100 percent A Hole. He treats her like crap. Suddenly the only time he shows a hint of humanity is because I'm seeing her. She's a sweetheart. She's even gotten beat up by him because she's seeing me. How do I know? She showed me her bruises the next day. I'd love to take a baseball bat to his head. I hate guys that beat up on women. Total fucking morons!
I buy milk and diapers for my atf realdoll.
This woman can have whatever man she wants.
He is the man she wants a relationship with.
You are the man she wants to give her money.
Too bad so sad.
something tells me that you aren't looking for the simple answer.
So in this case the specific beef runs like this: For a variety of reasons, she hasn’t been able to work much the past few months. It’s a big clusterf— having to do with legal stuff, stuff with the loser bf, etc, which has made it tougher for her to give it her all in providing—let’s remember there is a certain amount of “acting” involved in this wacky game of ours. Not being able to “be present” is not likely to keep those 10/10s and Benjis flowing.
Since I’m a moron (hey, at least I admit it), and since we see a lot of each other, and (again, I admit it), I’m really nuts about her, I’ve tried to be emotionally supportive as she’s been dealing with all this stuff. Lots of late night convos, me trying to lift her spirits, etc.
About a month ago, she was telling me it was 95% it was over with the bf—she was pissed off at his insensitivity to her issues, was pissed off that she had been supporting him for the past year and change so that he could pursue his dream job at a startup (which pays in nothing but cheese sandwiches and stock options which *might* be worth something someday, but in practice will probably be worth zero), etc. So there she is, working in “the industry”, and whatever she doesn’t piss away on buying new clothing, shoes, etc, she’s wasting on supporting him. I have a pretty good handle on what she makes in a year—and it’s pretty f’in healthy for an all-cash business. Maybe if she wasn’t busy supporting loser-boy, she might actually have something to show for it all. (btw, she’s only broken up with loser-boy “forever” about four or five times in the three years I’ve known her, so Yeah, that’s on her—I figure he must have the biggest schlong the world has ever seen—because he can’t possibly be worth the trouble for any other reason)
And then finally she caves: Since she’s been unable to work, she’s been unable to stay current on her bills. She asks me for a small “advance” against our next playdate (yet to be scheduled, but hey, no biggie—we always have a date coming up), and she even throws in an offer of OTC time in there also. So since I’m a moron, I say “sure”.
Two days later, she’s back with Skippy the wonder-schlong, and everything is great in her world. She’s touring again, and she’s broadcasting to her huge following on social media about how wonderful Skippy is, posting pix on Instagram from all of her travels, etc.
Uh-huh. All because I helped her out. Again, I didn’t mind helping her out, I know she’s good for the money. The parts that piss me off are that 1) I feel like I was an enabler. What would have happened if I hadn’t indicated that I was willing to help her out with her bills? Would she and loser-boy have reconciled quite so easily? One way or another, he knew that she was going to somehow come up with the means to pay her bills; I really have no idea how much/how little their finances are commingled, but the timing is funny—she’s depressed, she’s falling behind on her bills, she and loser-boy are “95% done” and then suddenly everything is great as soon as she gets a cash infusion. Hmm.
2) Now that everything’s wonderful, I’m not hearing from her quite so much. We’ve always been in touch rather frequently, especially these past few months when she was so down in the dumps. Suddenly (duh), she’s not quite as willing to respond to a text message just saying, “Hi, how’s your day going,” or anything similar. It’s like I’ve been turned back into one more sycophant, desperately trying to get the attention of a Penthouse model (which in fact, she is). Well hey, I’m not just a client, I’m also a friend (or so I thought, anyway). She leads this glam lifestyle, is able to support Skippy (who will for sure leave her if she is no longer able to float him financially—or if he gets a better deal someplace), and yet, when the chips are down, who can she rely on? Not Skippy, not any of her fellow providers, not her family…Nope. Just li’l ol’ me.
And of course, if I dare tell her that I feel like I’ve been treated shabbily, she’ll just tell me to stick it—and I’ll never get the money back—which I don’t even really care about. I just like to spend time with her. Once we get past all this weird psychodrama, and it’s just us BCD..well, it’s just about the most awesome thing imaginable. I barely want to see any other provider.
idk…maybe I was just asking for this once we made this relationship part provider/client and part friends with benefits. All’s I know is that Skippy is an asshole, and yet she keeps running back to him for more abuse. And: I swear I’m not trying to turn this into a haggling type situation (generally speaking, I never haggle with providers—it’s a losing game for everybody), but really, wouldn’t you think that a provider who gets this kind of help could at least “fake it” and be a bit nicer than usual to a regular repeat client who just loaned her $XXXX? idk, I would’ve hated to say “No” to her in that spot—she was so clearly in pain. But it might have been better for our “relationship” if I had.
Next time she’s in deep doo-doo financially, go get help from Skippy the wonder-schlong. Maybe then she’ll find out what is real and what is not—and who cares about her and who doesn’t. And who is fond of her not because of what she can do for them, but who she is.
So seriously, ladies: Who is there here on TER who can say that you’re in a “real” non-user-ish civvie relationship with your IRL boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/whatever. You know, like where your partner provides something roughly financially comparable to the marital (or whatever) pool? And you don’t need to go borrow money from one of your clients just because your SO has run up the tab/has been so emotionally unsupportive that it’s affected your ability to make a living?
It would be nice to hear that not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish. Because I gotta tell you, that’s all I see in this crazy world of ours…
OK. Not every provider is in a relationship which is not (in one way or another) abusive and or “pimp”-ish.
Feel better?
Yes. I can see you're not overly invested in this at all. I can tell that by the 1000 word OP rant, and all of your following comments explaining how much you're not invested in this
Another hapless white knight upset about his unrequited love for a hooker.
Always there to provide a shoulder...to wipe her tears when her asshole boyfriend makes her cry.
SMH
I don't know if this is a record - but definitely a reason for TER to restrict posting length....
Dude - you need an editor...
Dude, seriously WTF.
Giving advances (of cash or pussy) is just fucking stupid. This is a fantasy world and once you started to bring reality into it you dug your own grave.
I would never go to a Provider and complain about my wife and I expect the same from her (the provider).
Pay your $$$ have a good time and leave!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop making this complicated.
RT
There could be a wife or a girlfriend for some. Broaden the scope skippy.