I was saddened by the thought of him having to live a life in shadows, in suppression, in despair. That haunted me for years. But those were my thoughts, not his reality. My love for him remained unchanged. He was always my sweet smiling little brother. Still is. And I think about as happy and fulfilled as (well, no worse off than) me. Admittly a low bar but perhaps you get what I mean.
But got the call that a family member has come out as gay.
Have to admit I got all those emotions (what do I do, what do I say, how will this effect the other family members, friends, etc.)
Difficult to process the emotions now. Gotta admit did not see it coming and it rocked my world.
I feel hypocritical because I am a Progressive thinking person when it comes to equal rights.
But got the call that a family member has come out as gay.
Have to admit I got all those emotions (what do I do, what do I say, how will this effect the other family members, friends, etc.)
Difficult to process the emotions now. Gotta admit did not see it coming and it rocked my world.
You should feel hypocritical.
He or she is still your family member and they've just undertaken a massive step in their life, and your first thought is how it affects you, other family members and friends? First of all, why are you acting like they're not important in all of this? Go be a responsible uncle/cousin/grandfather/whatever the hell you are to this person and continue to treat them like a damn human being, stop focusing on yourself when they could in all likelihood do with having some support, and give some reassurance that this doesn't affect anything, which, newsflash, it fucking doesn't.
Did you care who this person had sex with before? Why the fuck should you care now? Go be a decent human being.
I don't wish that upon anyone.
For me. I have a small family.. Mom and Dad.. (Both straight). Me (Straight). Dog (His name is Sparky)... Super Straight..
If something like that happens in my extended family, I would still love that family member although I will still disapprove of his/her deviant sexual behavior.
-- Modified on 5/20/2015 12:02:02 PM
On your dog being straight. A dog will hump anything! Pillows, couches, car tires, rocks, males or females of other species!
But he is only practicing and fine tuning his art...LMAO
...straight.
I mean - how will it affect me? Will I still love them? Can I still take them to gay pride events? What will my gay brothers & sisters think????
I can never condone their deviant sexual inclination, but I suppose that I can learn to accept it and still love them.
But got the call that a family member has come out as gay.
Have to admit I got all those emotions (what do I do, what do I say, how will this effect the other family members, friends, etc.)
Difficult to process the emotions now. Gotta admit did not see it coming and it rocked my world.
It's not a big deal to me. He likes dick, I like pussy. I can't say that I really ever worried about it in any way. He is still my brother and I support him. He never really "came out" though. I was just able to put 2 and 2 together by seeing his interactions and relationships with other men. The fact that he had posters of abercrombie like models in his condo also was good indicator.
My parents are the only ones that don't (didn't) know he's gay and I doubt he'll ever tell. My other siblings have been very accepting of his lifestyle too. I think they would make a way bigger deal out of me doing p4p than my brother being gay. That's partially because we found out that my dad had been cheating on my mom for years with an escort, and we discovered this shortly after she passed away. I am not cheating on anybody, but I still think my family would be pretty upset because it's such a sore topic.
My other sibs and myself all strongly suspected it in any case, so I wouldn't say it was a shock.
He is now finally able to marry his partner this summer which will be great. I can't wait.
By the way, he also has a daughter, so who says gays can't raise children?
I don't know what I would say.
I was saddened by the thought of him having to live a life in shadows, in suppression, in despair. That haunted me for years. But those were my thoughts, not his reality. My love for him remained unchanged. He was always my sweet smiling little brother. Still is. And I think about as happy and fulfilled as (well, no worse off than) me. Admittly a low bar but perhaps you get what I mean.
But got the call that a family member has come out as gay.
Have to admit I got all those emotions (what do I do, what do I say, how will this effect the other family members, friends, etc.)
Difficult to process the emotions now. Gotta admit did not see it coming and it rocked my world.
Just concentrate on being a decent human being and not giving a fuck about your family member's lifestyle choices. It really isn't about you at all.
Let's further assume that it is a matter of choice... Even then, how is it different from a family member being a petty criminal or a communist?
In that case, you can still love them and interact with them and not "approve" of their choices...
Let's assume it isn't a choice... How is it different from a phobia or OCD or the most very benign form of alcoholism or addiction?
It's not going to hurt you and why would you treat them differently on a one to one basis?
It doesn't affect you at all.
And, it wasn’t just one of them---it was every_fucking_one. Damn. Why would they do this to me?
I always thought I was a progressive thinker. But, I had no idea how I was going to deal with their “choice” to live this “lifestyle” of “deviant sexuality”. What would my friends think? And, what about the children? How are we supposed to keep the children normal and gay with all of this heterosexual influence?
Every time I thought about them having sex I was repulsed. Disgusting.
But, I decided to be the better person and tolerate it. I mean, what else was I gonna do? But, then they had the nerve to yammer on about “acceptance”. And, they didn’t even have the decency to be discrete. They kept flaunting their heterosexuality in my face---some of them would hold hands right out in public. Are you kidding me?!
It’s like they don’t even care how this affects me.
*************
What should you do? The same thing your family member needs to do about you being heterosexual
I always thought I was a progressive thinker. But, I had no idea how I was going to deal with their “choice” to live this “lifestyle” of “deviant sexuality”. What would my friends think? And, what about the children? How are we supposed to keep the children normal and gay with all of this heterosexual influence?
Every time I thought about them having sex I was repulsed. Disgusting.
But, I decided to be the better person and tolerate it. I mean, what else was I gonna do? But, then they had the nerve to yammer on about “acceptance”. And, they didn’t even have the decency to be discrete. They kept flaunting their heterosexuality in my face---some of them would hold hands right out in public. Are you kidding me?!
It’s like they don’t even care how this affects me.
*************
What should you do? The same thing your family member needs to do about you being heterosexual.
In a country that is very inhospitable to gays.
You should never judge somebody by their sexual orientation. keep an open mind and stay cool! especially if they are family.
And you hobby? Here's what you should do: suck some guy's dick. See if you spontaneously burst into flames. More likely it will either leave you stone cold bored or strangely excite you. But criminy, it's just that some people's sex switch is set one way and some are set the other way, and the lucky ones have a switch that swings through wonderfully mad circles.