You have to cough while the doc tugs on your nuts and you have to bend over while he sticks a finger up your ass.

I'll trade you.

far away from their land to protect us, so we could sleep peacefully.

My gyno is a hot young surfer chick doctor. I love it when she tells me to put my feet in the stirrups

Then again, I'd be terrified to shove a metal, duck-billed instrument into someone too if I didn't know what it was like to have their parts.

Blood gets drawn two weeks in advance, urine too if that's due.
Finger pricked before drawing blood.
On day of the doc will prod various areas looking for lumps, like around lymph nodes.
He'll cup the nuts, have me turn my head and cough.
Haven't done the finger poke up the arse yet, but it's getting closer.
Looks in the ears, up the nose, down the throat.
Checks blood pressure, breathing, knee reflexes.

Questions are limited to:
1) Any new issues?
2) Are you sexually active?

And that's pretty much it.  At least, that's about all I remember from a year ago.  He's young and cute, but not my type of gender.  Some of the office staff would be fun, but they're far too serious about working and being professional - really hard to get them to lighten up, but oh so much fun when they do start laughing.

Never had my boobs squished, maybe that's an extra...one of those YMMV kind of things?

And last visit, my usual doctor was out. I am not shy with my vagina, duh, lol so a new doctor came in. Oh so smooth older guy and said hey how you doing? I was a little uneasy like he was picking me up instead of being a professional. The appointment took a turn for the worst when he commented on my pretty cervix and also nearly fisted my snug va jay jay! I had to call my mom off that one, most traumatic visit beside my OB. Now she was a weirdo! Lol!

This is normal, had my annual last week

All the invasive questions, wellness check, urine sample, speculum insertion (it was warm, one time I had a cold one inserted, what a surprise. I am happy when they are warmed) scratchy pap smear, and finger probing. I always feel awkward when I get fingered by gyno, it's like omg just want this over with. Mine have all been female, I haven't had a male Dr.  
It was funny cause the nurse barged in on me naked while changing to gown. She had previously told me after I peed in the cup to change. So I went into the room after I did that and a few seconds later while nude she comes in, she's all embarrassed. I was like "It's ok. I am not shy to be nude", then she goes "She came to get the sample". She draws curtains over me to protect my "decency".  

These questions are not to see if you're a slut dear, it's just standard questions you get asked medically. Even when donating blood they ask these things. They've probably heard a lot so it's nothing to be shy about.  

One of my clients is an obgyn, I don't go to him for my annuals. We make jokes though.

My current NP is pretty cute and I can't help but smile when she has my balls in her hands haha. I'm too young to get a finger up my.......in due time I suppose.

I'm of the age where colonoscopies are on the horizon every five years or so. Talk about fun! You spend one day cleaning things out while drinking copious amounts of terrible tasking stuff. But the next day they give you some nice drugs so you don't know anything until you wake up to pics of your inside. Hopefully no polups so everything is good. Actually the first day is the worst. Looking forward to the day when they have just a blood test of this...

When I go the urologist - or get a physical - pretty much the same questions.  Except for vaginal issues.....    

Don't get my boobs squashed - but pretty much every time I go to the urologist,  I have had very large metal tubes in my urethra down into my bladder and NOT recreationally.  After a good session with the urologist I don't want to have sex for a week.  After a good session with a provider - maybe 24 hours if it was just really outstanding hanging from the chandelier stuff and I am completely wiped out - otherwise 8 hours and I am ready to go again....   I really don't understand sounding at all....

Finger in the butt for prostate - still NOT recreational.  

Yes - I do get that women have it harder than men until the guys get older.  If a guy lives long enough - he WILL have a urologist.  Just a matter of when...

1--pee in a cup that is too small, so you get it all over your hand
2--get a finger up your ass for prostate check
3--get you balls tugged an inspected
4--get your pecker numbed with some  kind of cold spray (be sure to shove nozzle the inside)
5--camera up your pecker to inspect bladder)