A few years ago I went against my intuition and entered into a relationship with someone who was extremely toxic. Lucky for me I have enough savvy, wisdom and support to get out of something that does not feel right as quickly as I got into it. Lesson learned was that I should never go against my intuition, my sixth sense for she is always guiding me correctly. This same intuition helps me to navigate my business too although every now and then I make a small blunder, I'm able to pick myself back up again. When we women use our intuition as a guiding force it is the best darn thing we can do as far as effortlessly self protecting against evil forces out there.
Sitara Devi
have always considered myself to be incredibly blessed and lucky when it comes to the wonderful friendships I have shared in the duration of time that I have been entertaining, both in the recent months of my resurrection and also in the past. I can honestly say that I have never had a bad experience…. until recently.
In hindsight, I fully realize that my woman’s intuition was kicking into high gear regarding this recent encounter, and there were a few red flags I observed along the way based on my screening efforts, not only with verification sites, but also with directly contacting ladies for their input.
When I was told that this person is “pushy but manageable” (one of the ladies' words, not mine), and that I would have to be on my toes, well…. at that point, I told myself that I will most certainly not be seeing this person.
But this “gentleman” *cough* had been so incredibly persistent and relentless with his efforts to see me, and I eventually caved in, despite the misgivings my sixth sense was telling me. What a huge mistake I made.
I won’t delve into any sordid details, but this post is offered for three reasons:
1. To the gentlemen: please always respect a lady’s limits, and when she is emphatically objecting to something that is unpleasant for her during your time together, please always defer to her wishes. No means no!
2. To the ladies: please never discount your female intuition when it comes to screening. If you have even the most remote feeling of trepidation about seeing someone new, then listen to what your heart and clairvoyance is telling you. I know I wish that I had heeded my own advice. Your gut instincts are reacting for a good reason. It’s just not worth it in the long run to defy your own intuitiveness.
3. I am not a member of the providers’ only board (although I wish I were), so if any ladies are interested in knowing the identity of this person, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I saw him in PA, his home state, but he travels all over the East Coast.
With kind thoughts and good wishes to everyone that you continue to be well and stay safe.
xoxo
If a guy keeps pushing a meeting, just say NO. Stop all correspondence with him. Put him on ignore. If ever you feel weird about someone, just don't meet him no matter how well he passes screening. He might be a nice guy and you might be wrong in how you feel, but better to follow your gut. Even if you did meet him, you may still feel weird and ruin the whole session for you both. Red flag, men who don't understand NO in correspondence. They won't get better when you meet. I am sure I have passed on good guys, but for my piece of mind, I just say NO.
Some of the more successful ladies who rarely have problems, they are very picky on who they meet and haven't had that many problems. When you are willing to give someone a chance and ignore gut, you can possibly get into a lot of trouble.
Crazy men slip through the cracks on girls who are willing to sacrifice safety for money.
If a reputable lady you trust says he is pushy but manageable... steer clear. Any kind of Pushy is not OK.
*** Someone that has had few problems and no major issues (knock on wood) in a decade plus.
In hindsight, I fully realize that my woman’s intuition was kicking into high gear regarding this recent encounter, and there were a few red flags I observed along the way based on my screening efforts, not only with verification sites, but also with directly contacting ladies for their input.
When I was told that this person is “pushy but manageable” (one of the ladies' words, not mine), and that I would have to be on my toes, well…. at that point, I told myself that I will most certainly not be seeing this person.
But this “gentleman” *cough* had been so incredibly persistent and relentless with his efforts to see me, and I eventually caved in, despite the misgivings my sixth sense was telling me. What a huge mistake I made.
I won’t delve into any sordid details, but this post is offered for three reasons:
1. To the gentlemen: please always respect a lady’s limits, and when she is emphatically objecting to something that is unpleasant for her during your time together, please always defer to her wishes. No means no!
2. To the ladies: please never discount your female intuition when it comes to screening. If you have even the most remote feeling of trepidation about seeing someone new, then listen to what your heart and clairvoyance is telling you. I know I wish that I had heeded my own advice. Your gut instincts are reacting for a good reason. It’s just not worth it in the long run to defy your own intuitiveness.
3. I am not a member of the providers’ only board (although I wish I were), so if any ladies are interested in knowing the identity of this person, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I saw him in PA, his home state, but he travels all over the East Coast.
With kind thoughts and good wishes to everyone that you continue to be well and stay safe.
xoxo,
AR
Almost every stalker client I have ever heard of started off as a "nice guy, but a bit pushy"
I can't remember any of the board assholes ever being accused of stalking, but the mangina crowd seems to have way more than their share of stalkers, guys who won't respect boundaries, and general problem clients. It seems that "needy and clingy" on the board all too often translates into "stalker" IRL.
I have to confess, I have never "pushed" a lady into seeing me, at the first sign that she is not 100% interested in seeing me, I simply move onto the next lady on my list. Any guy who will "beg to pay for pussy" is probably a bit unbalanced in the first place, and should probably stay on your "must miss" list.
..not the Temptations and their good music, but the lyrics (as in the attached You Tube clip) taken too seriously. lol!
Seriously, though; safety first
I know it's not PC, but in reality sometimes it is. I grew up being 'programed' and 'trained' to think this. All girls I dated when I grew up always said NO the first time. It was like it was a built-in response. We're talking a long time ago. But, as you got more into 'it', they would change to maybe, then yes. I feel it was to avoid being thought of as easy or a slut. I think that is why a lot of men don't take 'no' for an answer because in their past experience, it didn't really mean no.
But, I truly understand where you are coming from and honor that. No should be No!! I think it is important for all gals to really know what their limits are and stick to them.
"pushing boundaries" in a romance is one thing, pushing boundaries in the this world is quite another, and may very well get you on a LOT of DNS lists.
my experience was in the civvie world....I had this discussion with a provider not long ago and she was the one who mentioned it. But, I also noticed that over time, seeing the same provider, things changed. Stuff she wouldn't do the first few times I saw her, she was open to later. (Familiarity breeds more fun???) I'm assuming that is 'trust' issues. Anyway, to me no means no. Unless it doesn't.
I'd have to agree with you that sometimes once we become more comfortable with a guy, we can open up. She'll let you know when that time comes.
I grew up "programmed" and "trained" to think the exact opposite. It was drilled into my head that not only does "no, always mean no," but that if she has to say "no" you've already done something terribly wrong. It has been the bane of my sexual existence because I had to be given a "yes" without even asking or attempting the action first. This meant a series of missed opportunities, many of which turned into friendships with women who would later, as friends, confess that if only I had just "taken" them instead of waiting for permission we'd have a different relationship.
This is one of the reasons I've always enjoyed P4P.
I returned to P4P last year after MANY years of self-imposed retirement, at least in the US. Anyway, the first lady I met last fall and I got along just fine... but I was a bit bummed after the fact that our 3 hour meeting did not allow for as many SOG as I had hoped -- my fault for wasting far too much time and not being more assertive. Since then I have met a few different terrific ladies, and now my "sea legs" have returned. I recently had the pleasure of meeting with the same lady while on a business trip (after another lady had cancelled early on the morning of our planned date). Anyway, this meeting had none of the wasted time from our first meeting... and the result was plenty of SOG as well as a terrific dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant... and then a bit more fun later that night. I know she had a better time also -- as she offered to meet me again the next night at a severely reduced rate.
A few years ago I went against my intuition and entered into a relationship with someone who was extremely toxic. Lucky for me I have enough savvy, wisdom and support to get out of something that does not feel right as quickly as I got into it. Lesson learned was that I should never go against my intuition, my sixth sense for she is always guiding me correctly. This same intuition helps me to navigate my business too although every now and then I make a small blunder, I'm able to pick myself back up again. When we women use our intuition as a guiding force it is the best darn thing we can do as far as effortlessly self protecting against evil forces out there.
Sitara Devi
Intuition should be first line of defense, screening second, I would think
It's disappointing to hear that there are guys in this hobby that believe they can have their way without us ladies speaking up to them and having limits.
There always has to be an asshole in the bunch.
PM sent sweetie. I would like his information. Thanks for informing us.
I agree with this 100% and just recently had some trepidations about a client who was also very persistent about meeting. In the end, I decided not to see him and this post further confirms my reasons for doing so.
There is a reason they call it woman's instinct
'grey area'
Thank you to everyone who offered their support and encouragement, both on the board and in private. No worries, I am okay, and life goes on.
As I wrote to one gentleman who responded with a PM (and I think it sums up what I chose to take away from my unsavory experience).....
I am always a positive and optimistic person who subscribes to the philosophy of learning from one's mistakes instead of wallowing in them. Rest assured, the situation that transpired was an isolated event. If anything, it only served to remind me of the power of the female persuasion of intuition, and that I simply must trust my feminine wiles and ways when I witness any red flags a-waving.
We now resume with your regularly-scheduled program. As always, please be well and stay safe.
xoxo,
AR
malcontent, the bull, that advances with it's head lowered, nostrils flaring, and barbed horns, ready to gouge any unsuspecting delicate representative of the feminine, in between it and the object of it's bloodlust, the rose colored flag of recognition, of intuition.
Intuition may link you with another's inadvertent visual and/or mindlessness broadcast of ill intentions and thoughts. Use your cerebral quite periods to open up to it. To listen to it. To pay attention to it. There is a heuristic view that, just like a nautical lighthouse, this additional 'sense' can warn you away from danger, from crashing onto the rocks or shoals. There seems to be no other rational explanation for its' effects.
Be safe, and well.