"What is it that excites her and is the direction and anticipation also a turn on for her?"

How do we know? Ask her! Some subs are sexually submissive only, and aren't really interested in having a Top tell them what to wear and how to act, unless those things are directly related to the sex acts that are to follow Some submissives are more service oriented and love to be told how to dress, how to act, what to prepare, etc. in order to satisfy their desire to serve you in some way. Some submissives are all about taking whatever their Top dishes out, be it spanking, bondage, etc.  

The only way to know what excites her is to ask her! When I bottom for someone, it is usually because they want to do something that trips my submissive trigger, and I am quite comfortable talking with a prospective Top about what I like...there are things I have no interest in bottoming for, and some things I won't bottom for for safety's sake, but the only way to find that out about your girl is to ask her!

And, if  you're lucky, you won't hear "I want to do whatever pleases you" LOL !!

K

I swing dominant and submissive...it is a mood and desire thing.  For me, the only way to truly understand myself as a human being along with the sexual me is to experience both tops and bottoms.  After all we are one organism with complicated twists and turns but we all had a head and a tail.  Agreed with previous statements, the most sensual organ we command is the one the sits squarely within the skull.  Talk with your provider if you are in the Dom role and see where she will go...but remember this is a relationship that builds over time.  I would assume to really experience this with one provider it will take time...time like months of sessions.  The trust has to be built...as for the ladies who just tell you you can do 1, 2, 3...but not 6,7,8, well, this is too script to really fell the sensual texture a a true BDSM experience.  Certainly open to ongoing convo here or in my inbox if this is a curiosity you would like to explore further.  Happy hunting, luv!