I have found myself in some middle ground between a "real" relationship and being "just a customer" on many occasions, and rarely if ever have created any drama in my life by doing so.
Not everything in life has to be black and white, not even seeing hookers.
so... over the course of several months guys, you saw a certain provider and you really hit it off. Had many encounters and had the sort of chemistry that let to a lot of OTC time and a really nice time when you were together. Then the provider retires from p4p, but you are still in the same orbit and see each other from time to time and are really happy when you do.
Guys, would you try to date her IRL? if so, how would you approach whether she'd want an envelope? Ask? Just not bring one? Or just bring one? Ladies, would you date him? Would you expect an envelope for old time's sake if you did?
as always....Id think you need to clarify the situation so both parties are on the same page.
Ain't it the truth. Weird is my new normal, but I suppose in the hobby normal is pretty weird.
I don't find anything the least bit weird about it. Don't worry, if she wants money, she'll make sure you know about it. In the meantime just relax and enjoy yourself the same as you would any other woman, after all she was a woman before she was a hooker, she was a woman while being a hooker, and now that she is retired, she's still a woman, just like the other 3 Billion plus women in this world.
One thing I have noticed about guys who date hookers. The guys who have low self esteem have a hard time accepting that a provider would see them without an envelope and usually drive the woman away, while guys with a healthy self esteem just enjoy the ride, and many women appreciate not being treated any different even though you know what she used to do for a living.
I'm sure I would not be considered a godsend, but I think i'd be someone she's enjoy seeing from time to time. I also know she is not doing as well financially as she needs to be doing.
I've been fortunate that the vast majority of women I've seen, I've had great chemistry with. From that list, there were three who I would date IRL. One who asked why I was single, one who wished that we didn't met this way and one whom I've spent time with outside this world.
If I'm dating them IRL, I wouldn't even consider giving them an envelope. I would treat them like a SO. Doing otherwise I think they would find insulting.
Just my thought.
If you bring an envelope and if she doesn't punch you, then you were delusional about the relationship
I wasn't really thinking relationship. I don't want a relationship. Just to have a few laughs, dinner, and some playtime. Casual dating I guess. The girlfriend experience for a few hours at a time, but with someone who isn't a professional anymore. But was. And was with me. Maybe it's a lot more simple than it appears to me.
You want to see her, but you don't want a relationship. That sounds like you want to keep seeing her as a client, unless you're going after freebies. Ask her if she'd be interested in seeing you casually, and then ask if she prefers if it's on or off the clock. Boom, there's your answer.
This is the most logical way. Straight to the point.
There doesn't HAVE to be any clear lines drawn if you and her are simply "having a good time" Would you be going through all this angst if she wasn't a former hooker?
If she is interested and/or if she is enjoying herself, she'll keep seeing you. If she starts asking you for money, or stops returning your calls, you will have your answer as well. My advice is to simply go with the flow, go out have some fun, but just remember if you aren't paying her consider your dates "sex optional" with her decision being the only one that counts. lol
For the record not all hookers are money grubbing whores who only want your money or a commitment for an LTR, some hookers just want to have some laughs and a goodtime with someone who "gets it" where it comes to her past (or present) as a hooker.
I have found myself in some middle ground between a "real" relationship and being "just a customer" on many occasions, and rarely if ever have created any drama in my life by doing so.
Not everything in life has to be black and white, not even seeing hookers.
Especially in terms of seeing where I'm coming from and helping me see where this may or may not lead. Thank you.
-- Modified on 3/30/2015 7:34:54 PM
and the circumstances behind each lead to the whole gamut from the successful (For example, I got married to a former escort I met. Not that that alone makes it successful,\ mind you, but we do have a very nice relationship.) to the crash and burn, and everything in between.
If you are a faithful follower of the various boards on here, you'll pick up on some of this from time to time.
It's inevitable given the nature of human biology and psychology.