TER General Board

Re: I broke up with a favorite GF because she didn't know NO means NO
Jay_Slade 7 Reviews 589 reads
posted

I Think you would be more than surprised to know that it's quite normal; as to say that many men have this fantasy even if they are willing to admit it or not.  I personally am into taboo, anything forbidden,  so it is to say that this fantasy is a fantasy of mines.  Roleplay is fun and that's what makes it a fantasy,  like others have a father/daughter fantasy, it's no different unless it's not welcomed by the provider.  In that regard is totally off limits and should be well respected.  Ask before encounter !

Let me first say that I've read many times that rape fantasies are common in women.  It's not one of mine, but I like to think I get that as a fantasy, it can be very stimulating.

How popular is it among men?

I do not currently offer role-play but I used to and only got asked to do this once or twice during that time.
If this is a popular male fantasy, is it something which most men prefer not to enact?   Or would a hobbyist with this fantasy choose instead to bring this fantasy to a fetish/kink provider rather than one who does not advertise role-play type services?

Very recently, a new client sprung this on me without first asking if I was ok with enacting his fantasy.... not going to go into it, but this experience made me wonder just how common it is, whether it's a fantasy men WANT to enact or keep firmly in the fantasy realm, or want to enact it but dread possible negative reactions, etc etc etc.  (Perhaps I tend to take a clinical approach to unpleasant experiences in an attempt to emotionally distance myself?  IDK, but it works for me! lol)  

Ladies: have you been asked to role-play a rape fantasy frequently?  Does it seem like a common/normal fantasy?

Men: any thoughts from your own perspective on this type of fantasy and/or role-play?

Anyone care to share their personal experiences, impressions, or any pertinent research data?  :-)

 
TIA!

 
:edited for grammatical error:

-- Modified on 3/20/2015 10:49:57 AM

Deep throat fantasy is real.

Only when if the girl is all slutty and willing about the gagging thing. Besides that, rape thing just doesn't.... I don't know, Im a romanticist.

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
Let me first say that I've read many times that rape fantasies are common in women.  It's not one of mine, but I like to think I get that as a fantasy, it can be very stimulating.  
   
 How popular is it among men?  
   
 I do not currently offer role-play but I used to and only got asked to do this once or twice during that time.  
 If this is a popular male fantasy, is it something which most men prefer not to enact?   Or would a hobbyist with this fantasy choose instead to bring this fantasy to a fetish/kink provider rather than one who does not advertise role-play type services?  
   
 Very recently, a new client sprung this on me without first asking if I was ok with enacting his fantasy.... not going to go into it, but this experience made me wonder just how common it is, whether it's a fantasy men WANT to enact or keep firmly in the fantasy realm, or want to enact it but dread possible negative reactions, etc etc etc.  (Perhaps I tend to take a clinical approach unpleasant experiences in an attempt to emotionally distance myself?  IDK, but it works for me! lol)    
   
 Ladies: have you been asked to role-play a rape fantasy frequently?  Does it seem like a common/normal fantasy?  
   
 Men: any thoughts from your own perspective on this type of fantasy and/or role-play?  
   
 Anyone care to share their personal experiences, impressions, or any pertinent research data?  :-)  
   
   
 TIA!

Um No, but Louis CK said it better than I could, and I suspect that most men think the same ... what's the worst thing that could happen ??

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
Let me first say that I've read many times that rape fantasies are common in women.  It's not one of mine, but I like to think I get that as a fantasy, it can be very stimulating.  
   
 How popular is it among men?  
   
 I do not currently offer role-play but I used to and only got asked to do this once or twice during that time.  
 If this is a popular male fantasy, is it something which most men prefer not to enact?   Or would a hobbyist with this fantasy choose instead to bring this fantasy to a fetish/kink provider rather than one who does not advertise role-play type services?  
   
 Very recently, a new client sprung this on me without first asking if I was ok with enacting his fantasy.... not going to go into it, but this experience made me wonder just how common it is, whether it's a fantasy men WANT to enact or keep firmly in the fantasy realm, or want to enact it but dread possible negative reactions, etc etc etc.  (Perhaps I tend to take a clinical approach unpleasant experiences in an attempt to emotionally distance myself?  IDK, but it works for me! lol)    
   
 Ladies: have you been asked to role-play a rape fantasy frequently?  Does it seem like a common/normal fantasy?  
   
 Men: any thoughts from your own perspective on this type of fantasy and/or role-play?  
   
 Anyone care to share their personal experiences, impressions, or any pertinent research data?  :-)  
   
   
 TIA!

Pink_Panties655 reads

But sometimes the session spontaneously just goes there.

Not RAPE as in being attacked violently.  Just being held down during sex, restrained by strong man. yeah- that's hot!  Arms pinned down or hand around the neck.  Not too tight or nothing to cause bruises.  Just dominant man.  HOTT

ValuedCustomer550 reads

I discussed doing something like that with a provider I have seen a few times while we were in bed cooling down after sex.   Obviously, not something to "spring" on anybody - and I really can't imagine doing that on a first date.  Rape is rape; play is play.  The difference is in advance consent.

What I had in mind was more of an NC sort of thing than a violent struggle.  Something along the lines of tying her up and having her say "Please don't fuck my tight ass".  since I often have her say exactly the opposite and beg me for that.  And obviously, there would be a safe word involved.  

She is willing to do it...and did not seem hugely shocked by the idea

I cant do it.  Primary reason is I grew up with a very abusive Step-dad.  That kinda stuff digs up those memories.  Doesnt get more turned off than that.

There is one gal I had known for a very long time, and we always had great sex, but I noticed she never got off.  I asked her about it and what I could do to help her, then she landed a heavy story on me.  She said that because she was repeatedly raped by her family members when young, she could only get off if I would do stuff like slap and choke her.  I was kind of put off by that as you can imagine, but in order to help her I started to do that stuff, on the light side at first, but she kept egging me on to slap harder and choke harder.  So I did.  She got off, and interestingly and somewhat upsettingly, I found myself getting excited by it.  Fortunately, she seems to have worked that out of her system and now we have good orgasmic sex without any of the violence she sought.

Another time I was with a gal and I thought the time had come to put on a cover and enter, but she then shut her legs tight together and said to me:  "If you want it, you're going to have to fight for it."  So I did, and after quite a tussle I got inside her.  Again, it got me quite excited.  I never did see her again.  She disappeared after that, which was not too uncommon as this was back before the internet.

It's a side of myself that I would just as soon not explore too much.  It makes me a bit uneasy.

Did you not previously say this about choking?

 

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No one ever asked me to choke them....

and I doubt I'd even try if they did ask.  It's just too damn dangerous.  I do love a slender graceful neck, and I'll firmly caress it, and even give it a nibble or two (sort of a Dracula thing) but that's about it

He's an idiot for wanting to enact this fantasy on the first visit. I've encountered this just a few times, and they were all otherwise strong-willed women. I suppose it might be similar to the stories you hear of CEO-types who are submissive in the bedroom.  

Personally, I like some roughhousing and dom/sub play, but hearing "no/don't/stop" is a total turnoff. "Insatiable slut" is more my style.

until now.  

I, like most, have many fantasies and have done some role play with a few special gals;  however that has never been one of them.    I think it's totally hot when the gal is enjoying (or seems to be) our time together.   So that scenario would just be too contradictory for me

Pink_Panties367 reads

Females are more sexually submissive usually.  I get a lot of requests from men who want role play/seduced by a dominant woman and its always kinda a bummer since this does nothing for me.  But he's the paying customer so... :(

sweet_potatoe_pie298 reads

Posted By: Pink_Panties
Females are more sexually submissive usually.  I get a lot of requests from men who want role play/seduced by a dominant woman and its always kinda a bummer since this does nothing for me.  But he's the paying customer so... :(

for your perspective.   You are right, if the gal enjoys that kind of submissiveness I am more than willing and capeable of giving it a try.  Maybe not the rape scene, but perhaps some hair pulling or whatever to start out.   Her enjoyment is my enjoyment.  QED.



-- Modified on 3/20/2015 12:56:16 PM

ValuedCustomer586 reads

I understand the general idea that your bed partner should at least seem like she is having fun.  And yes I give effort towards her orgasm even (especially) when I have her tied up or otherwise submitting to me.  That's what vibrators, fingers and tongues are for.  I get my kicks from her "losing control".

But there is a line that I think you may have crossed with that last statement - that "Her enjoyment is my enjoyment".

There is a reason I pay her.  It is to satisfy a desire that I have.  If I put her enjoyment in front of mine then I am trying to avoid "owning" the choice to have sex with her.  In other words, I would be trying to share that choice with her.

If we share that choice - there is a relationship.  And that way lies madness....because she doesn't share that idea of relationship with me.  

So (after you have both agreed to it..) - pull her hair and call her names - put her on her knees and demand that she worship your dick with her hands tied behind her back - but not because you think SHE wants it.  Do it and own it.  

Try not. Do or do not. There is no try - Yod

Agree on the "more of a female fantasy" I've known a few females IRL who have asked to have hair pulled, tied up and have t shirts ripped off in a consensual non-consent time. One even took scissors to the necks of the shirts so they would rip easier. We ended up with a lot of rags that summer. Good times. Guys (and myself) don't want to just do this without "a lot" of prior talk due to the ramifications involved.

I can think of many fantasies but rape is NOT one for me. I'd rather have a romantic liaison.

Have never found this even remotely erotic or appealing.  I can't even stand to watch porn where the fantasy is played out. Just don't get the appeal of pretending to violate someone.  

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
Let me first say that I've read many times that rape fantasies are common in women.  It's not one of mine, but I like to think I get that as a fantasy, it can be very stimulating.  
   
 How popular is it among men?  
   
 I do not currently offer role-play but I used to and only got asked to do this once or twice during that time.  
 If this is a popular male fantasy, is it something which most men prefer not to enact?   Or would a hobbyist with this fantasy choose instead to bring this fantasy to a fetish/kink provider rather than one who does not advertise role-play type services?  
   
 Very recently, a new client sprung this on me without first asking if I was ok with enacting his fantasy.... not going to go into it, but this experience made me wonder just how common it is, whether it's a fantasy men WANT to enact or keep firmly in the fantasy realm, or want to enact it but dread possible negative reactions, etc etc etc.  (Perhaps I tend to take a clinical approach to unpleasant experiences in an attempt to emotionally distance myself?  IDK, but it works for me! lol)    
   
 Ladies: have you been asked to role-play a rape fantasy frequently?  Does it seem like a common/normal fantasy?  
   
 Men: any thoughts from your own perspective on this type of fantasy and/or role-play?  
   
 Anyone care to share their personal experiences, impressions, or any pertinent research data?  :-)  
   
   
 TIA!  
   
   
 :edited for grammatical error:

-- Modified on 3/20/2015 10:49:57 AM

.....the thought of her "raping" me, even as a fantasy, is abhorrent.

...which does happen and I want no part of any of it, fantasy or not

Rape:
"unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim."

By state statute, rape is limited to vaginal penetration.
http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/HTML/ByArticle/Chapter_14/Article_7A.html

That means the state prisons, which all signed on to a Federal initiative to reduce prison rape, have already been 100% successful if men are the victims.  Instead, they've only been victims of second degree sexual offense.

Crazy stuff you just can't make up!

I'm a fan, but I'm also well-versed in kink and offer pro sub services (including the role play in question). I wouldn't say it's a super common request, but I also think that fewer men want to "come out" with that particular fantasy (which is understandable...a lot of people are going to have a negative visceral reaction to the concept). My guess is that myself and other pro-subs get this request far more often than your average GFE lady.  

All that being said, it's NOT something that should ever be enacted without prior discussion. There needs to be a clear outline of boundaries, safe words, and all other details before something like that takes place.

She wanted me to stop by after work before I went home to  shower, throw open the door, push her around, force her on the floor and rape her.
  I explained she could ask me to play almost any fantasy she desired, the rape game wasn't something I was willing to do.
  She asked me again the next night. I walked out without a thought .
    I had already said NO, I wasn't going to waste my time discussing something that repulsed me.
   
  When she called and tried to rationalize her desire I told her to  find someone else.  
   
   I missed her head skills for a while, too bad she didn't have a brain wise enough to realize No means NO.
   

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
Let me first say that I've read many times that rape fantasies are common in women.  It's not one of mine, but I like to think I get that as a fantasy, it can be very stimulating.  
   
 How popular is it among men?  
   
 I do not currently offer role-play but I used to and only got asked to do this once or twice during that time.  
 If this is a popular male fantasy, is it something which most men prefer not to enact?   Or would a hobbyist with this fantasy choose instead to bring this fantasy to a fetish/kink provider rather than one who does not advertise role-play type services?  
   
 Very recently, a new client sprung this on me without first asking if I was ok with enacting his fantasy.... not going to go into it, but this experience made me wonder just how common it is, whether it's a fantasy men WANT to enact or keep firmly in the fantasy realm, or want to enact it but dread possible negative reactions, etc etc etc.  (Perhaps I tend to take a clinical approach to unpleasant experiences in an attempt to emotionally distance myself?  IDK, but it works for me! lol)    
   
 Ladies: have you been asked to role-play a rape fantasy frequently?  Does it seem like a common/normal fantasy?  
   
 Men: any thoughts from your own perspective on this type of fantasy and/or role-play?  
   
 Anyone care to share their personal experiences, impressions, or any pertinent research data?  :-)  
   
   
 TIA!  
   
   
 :edited for grammatical error:

-- Modified on 3/20/2015 10:49:57 AM

I Think you would be more than surprised to know that it's quite normal; as to say that many men have this fantasy even if they are willing to admit it or not.  I personally am into taboo, anything forbidden,  so it is to say that this fantasy is a fantasy of mines.  Roleplay is fun and that's what makes it a fantasy,  like others have a father/daughter fantasy, it's no different unless it's not welcomed by the provider.  In that regard is totally off limits and should be well respected.  Ask before encounter !

Pink_Panties483 reads

You meet a girl at a bar and she's flirtatious yet shy.  You tell her she should come back to your hotel room and she reluctantly agrees.  

Once you get in the hotel door, you push her against the wall, rip open her blouse and fondle her tits.  She squirms and shakes her head.  You hold her face and kiss her forcefully.  Then push her towards a desk, turn her around, pull up her skirt, and tell her to bend over.  She complies.

Then you unzip, pin her against the desk and have your way with her.

Is that a little better or still a little rapey?

-- Modified on 3/20/2015 5:07:24 PM

Skyfyre550 reads

It depends on whether she uttered the word "NO" during the whole time

That was only about 3.3 though, You're losing your biggest skill set. Please practice more and improve next time. lol

I'm naturally more along the lines of what "Pink_Panties" described (dominant), but I'm so averse to rape (and rape fantasies) that I even avoid movies if I know ahead of time they contain a rape scene.

Skyfyre431 reads

Not my fantasy to ever ask for it but I've had submissive girls who asked me to pull their hair or slap their buttocks. Or the simple "fuck me HARDER!"  

Being such a nice and obedient type I imagine if asked I'd do whatever it is she wants to try. No worry though I'm pretty sure I know where to draw the line at real pain and suffering!

I say that because, I want to ask this question....

 
What was rape before rape became a concept that existed? There must have been a point in time before the inception of consent. What did men and women do back then?

I agree partially, simply because there are some lower species where rape IS the method of mating, period.

But, closer to your question, and closer to our own species, all you have to do is 1. read the written historical records and 2. observe modern day isolated primitive tribes (or the documentaries around them)

The written historical record seemed to be continually trying to resolve the issue of "forced women", before the term rape existed on it's own.  The concept of "lack of consent" has always been there.

When women are interviewed in some primitive societies, rape is a common theme and something they have to contend with continually. The men don't see it as a problem.  The women do. (I am reflecting on documentary films of South American tribes I have seen, not so much aboriginal or african click-clack peoples)

There is one documentary that specifically comes to mind... a man, in the 70's met up with a tribe along the Amazon.  The chief gave him his daughter, to wed, which he brought back with him to New York.  She gave accounts of being raped many times, and it was her primary reason for wanting a husband, to protect her from getting raped.  She lived with him a few years in the states, had a couple kids, then wanted to be back with her family.  He sent her back, but kept the kids with him in the states.

I had certain types of rape fantasies, strongly, in my teens.  Now that I am a mother, not so much lol.

Rape fantasy is one of them.

It's important to point out that fantasy is a departure from reality.

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