Also, if she's had some bad experiences with that activity in the past, then she might've taken it off the menu for everyone.
I know different people have different comfort levels, but there is something I just can't figure out. There are three different ladies I have been with who wouldn't permit FIV. They were delightful in all other ways, and of course I respected their boundaries. But I don't understand what it is about FIV that is so out-of-the-ordinary that a lady would have rules against it. FIV seems to me to be pretty non-exotic stuff. They were all fine with DATY, fine with DATO, and one of them put her own finger into her ass while I had my tongue inside her. But for some reason, they wouldn't permit FIV. Is there some logical explanation that I just don't see? For me it's a disappointment because it's part of the overall sensory experience, and if I don't get to do it I feel like I missed out.
Also, if she's had some bad experiences with that activity in the past, then she might've taken it off the menu for everyone.
I have to go with that one, a lot of times if you haven't washed your hands, or have dirt under your nails it can cause infections. And some girls are more sensitive than others. Also, it isn't necessarily pleasurable for each and every lady to have a FIV. Remember gents- the clit is the most important part of the Vagina, and the FIV is probably more pleasurable for you- especially if you aren't skilled. A lot of guys try to jam their finger in, without warming up first- which is just painful. So, maybe it just isn't the ladies personal preference for pleasure. I, personally, have had a couple really painful experiences with FIV and the funny thing is the one that was most painful- the guy kept asking me if it felt good. I was like, ugghh could ya go a leeeeetle bit slower, please.
check my hands when I asked. She told me she only allowed it with no extra nails and filed smooth.
no, doesn't apply to me. And I was squeaky-clean when we were together, as I am always careful to be.
But I can now see why a lady would just decide it's not worth the possible trouble and take it off the menu. Thanks for that explanation. Still, disappointing.
Loquitur11,
I can tell that you are bummed out about one of the activities you really enjoy not being on the menu with some of the ladies that you have been with. I totally empathize and I would hate for you to be discouraged and not continue to try to enjoy all of the intimate activities you desire with your chosen provider simply because you have been told 'no' in the past. There is an acronym often used in the hobby: YMMV or your mileage may vary. So there is a chance that even with great hygiene and a soft touch a lady may not be in the mood for FIV because of personal preference or past experiences that weren't so sexy. For me personally, I am someone who loves DATY as my clit is super sensitive. I've found that a finger massaging my g-spot gently after an orgasm or two really takes me to another level. I'm not a squirter, but definitely a gusher once I get so turned on from the DATY and gentle fingering. I like for my lover to introduce his finger to me, not jam it in. Let me explain what I mean by, "introduce." Once he has been licking and sucking my clit and I am sort of rocking back and forth gently onto his lips, he places his finger tip just at the opening of my vagina. I like to slide myself onto his finger, while he curls it upward to feel my gspot. As long as he sticks with a slow, shallow, g-spot stroke while doing FIV it feels amazing!! So Introduce your finger to the women you are with and let them show you what they like and I think you will hear 'yes' more often than 'no.' I hope this was helpful.... Imagining what I like turned me on. So thanks! Lol.
I gotta cut off the skin next to my nails too, and file it all down so it's smooth. Will test it by running across my lips from all angles and, it there's any hint of rough, it gets filed again.
When you file the nails be sure to also round over the top side so it's not sharp, preferably a day in advance so you have time to notice if there's any issues.
Oh yeah, wash your hands after you arrive - and be liberal. Look at it this way: get your hands cleaner than you want her to be for you.
I've been known to bring soft soap for handwashing but truely she doesn't know where your fingers have been prior to your time together...
I get that response. If I were a woman and an escort I'd probably have the same policy. What I wonder/don't get though is...when you're getting into with your sexual partner....I don't care who it is (husband, wife, bf, gf, barpickup) ...in the heat of the moment, are ya gonna ask them to wash their hands?!? Truth is, you really don't know where ANYONE's hands have been! I posted something like this previously...because the list of things that one could touch prior to FIV was so extensive: doorknobs, car keys, money...it's endless. So the same people who are uber careful about whose hands touch what before those hands touch "theirs'...I wonder: Do you apply that always? Even in the heat of the moment situations?? You come home from the beach horny as a coondog and your tearing your clothes off on the way to the bed....it's 100% "wait, I have to wash my hands" ?? Why is a john touching money/doorknob/keys/etc any different than anyone else? So I wonder if the policy is more on principal than actually a form of germ protection.
-- Modified on 3/13/2015 12:41:24 PM
Number of times each day/week/month there is that "home from the beach horny as a coondog and your tearing your clothes off on the way to the bed",
vs.
Number of times a lady might see clients.
Makes perfect sense as both principle, and germ protection. Not much different from why a lady might go BB with a romantic partner, though always cover for work - principle, and germ protection
Not to mention the guys who sit in their cars scratching their balls, ass, and scalp ... hopefully not in that order. And then there is this guy ... Ever notice some guys do FIV the same way they "dig for gold"?
-- Modified on 3/13/2015 2:07:17 PM
A condom on the finger sure helps or if you're playing with both holes, try a glove (tons of ladies already have this stuff "on hand" lol)
Hugs and kisses
TL
If I'm asked to I'll insert fingers otherwise I just use my tongue usually. If the lady wants it they should ask for it. I understand why they don't even if they want it, they may be afraid to seem demanding among other reasons. For me, there aren't to many things hotter then hearing and feeling a woman orgasm.
If I'm licking your clit (yes I know where it is) I'm trying to get you off. If you want to, tell what makes that happen. I'm more then happy to do what ever you like. We'll get around to getting me off, and it won't be much of a struggle...
I do check hands discreetly. Hands are disgusting!
It sounds like - for whatever reason - the ladies don't like your hands. May not be much you can really do about it (assuming its not a hygiene thing). You may have rough hands - whatever.
You (and She) may want to consider nitrile or latex exam gloves as a very safe alternative. A box of 100 from manufacturers that supply to hospitals can be had for less than $20 at Amazon. You can get the CVS storebrand for less than $10. Sort of odd that most providers don't stock them... though I think the ones that do PM probably do - or at least they should.
Even if you aren't fisting - it can add a certain kinky frisson to the proceedings. You might be able to do FIA that way if you and the lady are so inclined. If you are fisting - my opinion is that the gloves are absolutely essential.
It can REALLY hurt. Especially if she's not wet. Or, if it's done too fast and hard. Or, if she's seeing multiple clients per day and is even a little bit sore.
I allow it, but vastly prefer other things, except in very unusual cases.
(I wonder if some guy is going to jump on this thread and tell me that 'vaginas don't really feel like that'...we seem to have a lot of Sunday morning quarterback providers lately)
Agreed. It's a combination of FIV can cause infections and gents being too rough. I KNOW in porn they just are going at it on the ladies vajayjay, and she is screaming in pleasure, and unfortunately, people take this as a lesson in how to do things for EVERY women they encounter....when in reality, every lady is different. Some like FIV, some do not mind- although it's not their fav activity, and some despise it and it does nothing for them. And as others have mentioned, sharp/long nails or cuticles...that alone will cause painful tears
Someone else had asked about the germ factor and if we have those in personal life or hook-ups we may engage in to do the same. Personally...I am 34 years old, and cannot remember having an actual BF finger me since about high school to age 19 or so, lol.
I allow it, but vastly prefer other things, except in very unusual cases.
(I wonder if some guy is going to jump on this thread and tell me that 'vaginas don't really feel like that'...we seem to have a lot of Sunday morning quarterback providers lately)
fingers are dirty & it increases chance of bacterial infection
...but is concerned about getting nicked or scraped. Usually before our dates, I go for a mani/pedi, so that we're both comfortable engaging in this mutually enjoyable activity.
Wow, the things we do for...well, not love, I guess, but for the purpose of good clean fun...
FIV and FFC are two of my favorite things to do. Particularly like the use of vibrators. However, I always use a condom to cover my fingers and toys,. Also try to be mindful of providers sensitivity to area . Seems to workout quite well most of the time.