Excellent advice mrfisher.
I went head-over-heels for my third review, and after considering things for a bit, my ATF told me she didn't want me to be exclusive to her because she didn't want me to miss out on other opportunities. Honesty requires that I acknowledge that I haven't seen her again since our first visit, but I am absolutely certain that our next visit would be rated 11/11 - but such foolishness is not permitted by TER. In reality, I would bet she just didn't want the drama that would come from my being exclusive to her and told me to fuck anyone I wanted. Even though I seriously doubt any client could ever have more fun with any provider, her advice is sound. P4P doesn't require anything more than considering one date at a time, so why not see any gal who tickles your fancy?
Hey!
This is my first post on the boards. I have something odd to talk about. I was in to seeing ladies for the purpose of fun but then I met 2 fabulous women that are now my ATFs that I only see. Sadly my luck they had to leave for a while for personal reasons living me to venture off and meet new women. Since I have been seeing only these 2 ladies for a long while. I now somewhat have a sense of a guilt seeing new providers. Its sort of some weird form of affair. Any hobbyist can relate to this dilemma?
fortunately, most of them are not only OK with me seeing other gals, but encourage it as they want me to be happy and consider them a friend rather than a competitor with the other gals for my affections.
I can understand how a person can have baggage associated with normal dating habits, but such baggage is an impediment to enjoying this hobby.
Once in a while I've had a provider or two stop seeing me because they got jealous. It's kind of sad in a way, but that's life.
I hope you can get beyond this so as not to mess up your enjoyment.
Excellent advice mrfisher.
I went head-over-heels for my third review, and after considering things for a bit, my ATF told me she didn't want me to be exclusive to her because she didn't want me to miss out on other opportunities.
Honesty requires that I acknowledge that I haven't seen her again since our first visit, but I am absolutely certain that our next visit would be rated 11/11 - but such foolishness is not permitted by TER.
In reality, I would bet she just didn't want the drama that would come from my being exclusive to her and told me to fuck anyone I wanted. Even though I seriously doubt any client could ever have more fun with any provider, her advice is sound.
P4P doesn't require anything more than considering one date at a time, so why not see any gal who tickles your fancy?
Once in a while I've had a provider or two stop seeing me because they got jealous. It's kind of sad in a way, but that's life.
I hope you can get beyond this so as not to mess up your enjoyment.
I would think that the reality of finding some new pussy is the real issue. Especially finding some that you find as attractive, fun, or whatever other idea of P4P you were experiencing with the other gals.
There is no reason to feel any tinge of guilt. I can assure you that neither of the women you were seeing had any interest in you other than your wallet.
Unfortunately some johns think that the women are "really into them"...but eventually they find that the gals see johns to pay their bills. And if you aren't helping with that cause, you aren't important to them.
The good news is that when their SD (Sugar Daddy) moves on, they'll email you and want to see you again.
Then you can again feel special 
This is my first post on the boards. I have something odd to talk about. I was in to seeing ladies for the purpose of fun but then I met 2 fabulous women that are now my ATFs that I only see. Sadly my luck they had to leave for a while for personal reasons living me to venture off and meet new women. Since I have been seeing only these 2 ladies for a long while. I now somewhat have a sense of a guilt seeing new providers. Its sort of some weird form of affair. Any hobbyist can relate to this dilemma?
He knows where of he speaks.
I see only a few and they are friends and encourage each other and me. It's sort of one happy sexual family. At my age, I'm satisfied with a small group of lovely ladies. We sometimes have threesomes. Now that is intense!
Pregnancy sometimes explains the leaving of the business for "personal reasons."
Lucky for you, there are thousands more out there just waiting for your demon seed to come in deep.
Dont fret the guilt. That will dissipate over time. Nothing like diving head first into some new cooter to get over the older ones.
Always works for me! LOL
The whole point of this P4P hobby is to have relationships without drama or expectations. Pay your money, get your world rocked and take your ass home. You can have these dilemmas, guilt and all in civilian life. Get over these ATFs and find others without the baggage. Do it now!
you've got commendable loyalty traits as well as compassion by considering your ATFs as more than sexual playthings.
Bad news is these "traits" can be counterproductive and work against you in the hobby.
Honor your past AYFs and the good memories; but robustly enjoy the charms of others with open mind and sans comparisons.
-- Modified on 2/25/2015 6:51:36 PM
For several years, I spent most of my time and money playing with one particular lady. A recent change in living arrangements have made it difficult to host so I've played around outside of that "relationship".
The beauty of familiarity and passion should you get to that place is wonderful, and the search for new friends is impacted by ones financial situation. One must be careful and open to creating passion without getting caught up in a circle of comparison. For me, there is only the subtlest underlying feeling of guilt, but not in the traditional context because of the nature of the hobby. Its more of a longing!
Its not fair to you or the lady because you can put yourself in a "not in the moment" situation. You'll meet someone in due time, just like you did with the women you are referring to. You made yourself available to create those perfect moments. Recalling that period of honesty, you'll be available to reach this nirvana like situation, where the sex is so fucking good, you can almost fool yourself into believing that there is more there than just friends. And I've often questioned myself with the blurry line between boundaries.
I'm finding that one must think differently if you're looking for the feeling of a lustful FWB, all the while remembering your wallet has the greatest impact on MOST of these trysts.
Like I said, been there, still there sorta and enjoy the familiarity of a certain result, emotionally and sexually. I've played the "how many" game and now prefer the "guarantee" of an effortless connection. For me, the expected passion is a no brainer
I discovered, that having an ATF and continuing to see other ladies is the best of both worlds. It stops me from seeing someone that doesn't excite me to the point of drooling. (excluding erotic bucket list stuff) because if I'm not "dieing" to see a lady, I don't need to, I can see my ATF which has always been a fantastic experience. Seeing other ladies keeps it from getting stale with my ATF and keeps those pesky feelings from cropping up.
Maybe two ATF in a rotation would be even better, but I haven't been lucky enough to find another. Yet
I've never been even remotely angry about bad service from a provider. Maybe I've been luck that I didn't have any terrible experiences but even if I stupidly ended up with a total rip off, I would be angry about it. I'd chuckle to myself, say to myself something like that sucked and look for someone else to see. So many excellent experience and my life isn't terrible why get bent out of shape about a few hundred dollars? If the money was that critical I wouldn't be spending it on pussy.
I understand where you're coming from because I've done the atf monogamy thing before. You have to ask yourself several questions. First, were your atfs 100% monogamous with you? The answer to that is obvious, so my next question is, did your atfs feel guilt over you when they were with other gentlemen? The answer to that is pretty obvious too. Here's another question. Do you think, when you and your atfs weren't together, they thought of you as much as you thought of them? These are tough question with easy answers.
Therefore, I really think that you shouldn't feel guilty when you see someone other than your two atfs. In fact, the one truth to this place of total falsehoods is that there will always be a day in the future, maybe it's already here for you, when your atfs will be gone forever. It's always a good idea to see a new lady now and then. The loss of an atf can happen so quickly, and without warning, it's always a good idea to have a 3rd favorite, or 4th
It's a business transaction. If you see another business that offers a product you like for a similar price would you not want to check out their service a quality of product? And if your original company wanted your business back it's on them to offer more services or a lower cost to keep your business.
No strings attached. As others have said your ATFs see others, so nothing should keep you from seeing others. A plot of guys like the ATF scenario cause they're to lazy to look for new escorts Are you in that group?
I think a better way of thinking about it is that you are a regular customer of a restaurant As long as the service and food is good, you kept coming back. You might even have kept coming back just because it's comfortable - the waitress knew your name and knew what you were going to have.
"Sweetie - are you gonna have the mish with a side of greek for desert - or do you want the K9 with a BJ to finish... We have the trout almondine special today..."
It's nice to be appreciated and thought of as a regular. Well... the restaurant closes (as they often do..) and you move on.
Do you have regrets - sure. But not much more than that....
-- Modified on 2/26/2015 5:19:13 AM
-- Modified on 2/26/2015 5:20:46 AM
That what you mean!
Thank you all! for getting back to me!
I am more of in the boat of what 'WildJimmy!' says. Since the two ladies i was seeing in rotation were fantastic I have become much more reluctant in looking for new women. Though once in a while, when a new lady shows up with stellar reviews and I will jump on the opportunity to see her. And pray & hope that her service will be as good as the two ladies I have been seeing. If it is or better I feel somewhat naughty. So If its a great date it worth it! if its horrid, meh or just ok I just feel like killing my ass since i could have spent it on my ATFs and had a fantastic time.
Though honestly, I feel comfortable seeing a set group of few women since I am quite social and like to get to know the ladies i see frequently. So as a result i become quite loyal to them not in a romantic manner to clarify but because they offer great services and are great to hang out with. So when I book something with another lady I feel like i am missing out on this.
It's just simple regret. Like going to your favorite restaurant and deviating from your usual order of steak by ordering chicken instead. After you try the chicken, you might regret that you didn't get the steak. Guilt has nothing to do with this. Only if you felt like you were doing your ATFs harm and feeling bad about THAT was your primary concern would guilt factor in ("Gee, I agreed to see her every week, and now I am not, I hope she can pay her mortgage this month"). But if it's merely, "Damn, I wish I had seen Suzy instead of Nina, we click so well and always have such a great time together" then that isn't guilt.
No its far from that sir. I do promise you that almost everyone in the world will be pissed of if they received bad service or purchase for what they paid for. Be food, buying a car, plane flights to a date with a provider especially if they would have gotten a much better experience elsewhere for the same price.
I also do exactly feel that way! I do know they see other gentlemen. But sometimes i do worry that if i do not see them for the usual hours i see them monthly they will not make it or have to hustle harder to make ends means. Since i am one of their regulars that sees them each for at least 2 times a month for several hours
one of my 2 ATFs just broke the news to me that we are not in an exclusive relationship - I was devastated! She and the other one are pals with each other and me.
I snuck away to set a meeting with a new, highly rated lady to see if she will fit in the rotation.
I feel terrible about myself.
But the new girl looks really hot . . .
Seriously, my ATF friends are really cool and often point out other girls for me and even refer me to girls that they know.
I couldn't be happier.
Otherwise you are being exclusive while she is having sex with others. This is contrary to the normal mating ritual but it is the truth of his hobby. If you can not handle it... and nothing wrong if you can't... but you should not be in this game we love so much.
every time they fucked somebody that wasn't you?
your regular barber has a customer. Do you wait or go with another who's ready to take you so you can get done and on your way? I understand what you're saying, but I truly doubt they care or the level of service you receive going forward will suffer. In fact, I frequently share "war stories" with my ATFs. It's always interesting to get the ladies' view on whatever it happens to be.