Seriously though, since you are admittedly very new at this, don't be too worried. Soon you will just be able to go with the flow and the nerves will subside.
but my original advice still has merit. Try booking only a day or two in advance until you get your nerves under control.
Is it unusual to be completely unable to sleep due to nerves? I had my first ever experience couple weeks ago, and had to take anti anxiety meds to sleep leading up to it. This time I booked a week in advance and I've been unable to sleep almost the entire week. Seems like I'm faced with the choice of either being badly sleep deprived or on meds. Would love to have an experience without either of these things though. Anyone else have this problem, or any advice?
Seriously though, since you are admittedly very new at this, don't be too worried. Soon you will just be able to go with the flow and the nerves will subside.
but my original advice still has merit. Try booking only a day or two in advance until you get your nerves under control.
Thanks, will try that for the next time. Yeah I think a few days without sleep would be tolerable, a week is pushing it.
but my original advice still has merit. Try booking only a day or two in advance until you get your nerves under control.
...he could even shoot for same day booking.
I've had the lack of sleep thing too when I had a date the next day and was a little overly excited - and when I don't sleep and have energy, it's just not as good for me. On the otherhand, I've had weekend mornings when I woke-up refreshed, the sun was shining, and the "feeling" just came over me! - so I arranged something for that day, often even just a couple hours away. Those dates usually work out great (unless I can't find one at all, but my lovely AMP friends help me easily fill that hole!).
Fking hot women keeps me off medication. LOL
Seriously though bro, if you are popping pills (other than the little blue ones) and you are losing massive amounts of sleep, I think a trip to the shrink for possible techniques to better handle the stress is in order.
P4p should be stress reducing. It seems like it is having the opposite affect on you. You either need to make those changes or leave it altogether. imo.
The thing is, once I got there I had a really great time and my stress disappeared. It's just the time leading up to it that's the problem. The previous time was my first time ever with a woman so I think that anxiety was to be expected. Wondering if it gets easier with experience perhaps.
Seriously though bro, if you are popping pills (other than the little blue ones) and you are losing massive amounts of sleep, I think a trip to the shrink for possible techniques to better handle the stress is in order.
P4p should be stress reducing. It seems like it is having the opposite affect on you. You either need to make those changes or leave it altogether. imo.
Ok that changes my thoughts a bit.
Or did you mean first time with a p4p gal?
...and you will be more relaxed.
You will be fine.
We all don't come into this with the same personalities and traits - I was VERY NERVOUS too - so that's 100% okay!
But like you, once in the room, all was good with the world and I had a ball!
Room for all different kinds of people in this hobby...
One thing you might want to consider too is distracting yourself with other things the night before - go to the gym and use that nervous energy, or go watch a movie you've been wanting to catch. Fill your time, rather than doing the clock watch ritual ("only 18 more hours until I'll be having sex with this hottie...", then "only 15 hours until..." etc., etc. I'm sure you know how that goes!). This normal distractions approach helped me, now a date is just one more bit of scheduled time in my day (albeit far and away the best!).
So again, it WILL get better.
anxiety that the OP is in the grip of. Hard to say if it will abade over time, but it sure is a dicey beginning. Like Jack noted.... this might not be the hobby for you. If you have to self-medicate just to make it thru each night before the big date, you may not be hobbyist material.
I suspect that a lot of newbies experience fear and anxiety that is way out of proportion to the situation (yes, it's all in your head). If you see the same provider a number of times, you won't worry about LE, you'll know what to expect, you can discuss the biz with her, and going through the whole appointment process will get you used to the routine and make you more comfortable when booking with someone new to you.
And tell her you are nervous.
although it is strange that you don't feel nervous once you get there
having to resist jerking off just thinking about her. Yes, my bonor keeps me up at night. lol
No, seriously, you just have to go through this. With experience things will calm down. There are some really good old souls among the ladies out there. Maybe, instead of booking the hot, young, blonde, tanned, leggy, big titted girl, try for someone more mature. Someone who has lots of reviews, raving about her connectivity. Someone who, when you make contact, shares a little beyond the bare minimum. There are some ladies out there, who, when you walk through their door for the first time, make you feel like a long lost friend. They make you forget it's P4P. Good luck!
If I am interpreting you correctly and that was literally your first time ever with a woman and not just your first time w p4p its perfectly normal to be nervous. Thats not usually something that people plan ahead for, knowing its coming and having time to think about it would drive me insane.
If the lady you saw was not the one for you (make sure you are thinking beyond the nerves) take your time, do your research, chat with a few girls (make sure you dont come across as a time waster that wants to endlessly chit chat) find one that seems like a good match and stick with her. A big part of the first time is a learning experience, getting comfortable with each other, connecting on some level, figuring out what you like... The second time you have (hopefully) gotten past all that and can spend more time just enjoying each other.
Some people have a really hard time getting out of their head and relaxing, in that case it can take more then one or two sessions.
Also after your verified with the lady and have seen her once you might be able to book with much shorter notice, that way you have less time to be nervous.
Emilie & Oliver
I mean if they are going to rough up the suspect, which i think that is what your dudes do that pay for the voyeur thing do, wouldnt they just save a fortune by slapping it to some porn?
Just not following why any sane, fully functional person would pay so they DIDNT have sex.
Isnt that what marriage is for? Lo
Suppose you ejaculated as soon as she opened the door. Hope you two had nice time chatting and playing some boar game!!
Some people have trouble getting to sleep. Some just get antsy a couple of hours ahead of time. After a few appointments you'll have it under control, I'd wager. And even if it's insomnia this time, next time you might sleep like a log but have no appetite for breakfast. Try to enjoy the excitement and it'll help you relax. At least that's how it works for me.
Think of it as part of the fun you're treating yourself to.
alone. I'd say 9x out of 10, many guys I have met, their hands are shaking a mile a minute. I have to grab them and put them at ease immediately. It's endearing and cute. I'm flattered by it. Who wouldn't be.
But don't sweat it, it's a very common occurrence. Have fun!
xx kisses
If the percentage is that high, what's your read on the guy who doesn't seem nervous? What if the guy is just cool as ice? Has a little scruff on his face? Flashes you his pearly whites ? What words describe that 10%?
my hands start to shake instead lol. Maybe my bod if he's that good lol
But that hasn't happened in this world, not yet, at least for me.
Are you trying to tell me something? 
xx kisses
Well, I guess I have to follow up with 'do you prefer straightforward or subtle'?
Well, it depends on how confident the gentleman is. Now there's confidence, and then there's confidence. And I would know in a heartbeat if he's pretending or if it was an act. True confidence comes from within, that's what makes me shake lol. But it goes hand in hand with a few 'other' must haves lol.
But this equation ...Mr. T... is not part of this world. And I'm perfectly good with that.
xx kisses
Taylor
I find your skepticism...amusing! As well as your other must haves. You're a cutie.
!
'skeptic'...But I am luvable nonetheless lol
T xx
in advance. I don't know if that applies to you, but believe it or not, it has worked for me to help relax to book someone I thought was only ok in looks.
Also, it may be that the menu you are getting is not what you really need or want.
Thanks everyone for the replies. To clarify, yes I was a virgin. I'm actually 31 years old but have very bad social anxiety and am pretty isolated. The provider I wound up with was very understanding and patient, and did a great job putting me at ease. Even booking with the same lady though I couldn't sleep this whole past week. Will try shorter booking in the future. Anyway thanks again for all the words of wisdom... really love this forum.
Try working with a well reviewed agency. They can hook you up that same day most likely. Wait until you get really horny and then just call them up and go for it. Less time to get ants in your pants. Just go get yourself laid, dude. It is allowed.
How old and how much GFE/intimacy was she sellling in her presentation? If you have social anxiety then a woman in your age range can spike feelings of inadequacy/anxiety/fear or commitment and if you add the intimacy thing? whoah.
Agency ladies are less likely to do the elaborate GFE thing and that is not a bad thing from my personal perspective and might be good for you...
Bottom line, you might want to consider avoiding those ladies selling intimacy for your next 5-6 appointments. Go for the ladies who sell hot sex! heheheh
If you want, you can move into the more GFE stuff later...
She was a bit older than me I think. It wasn't quite GFE, there were definitely boundaries. I actually would like to try some things that would be considered more GFE. It's more touching and closeness that I crave, rather than just orgasm. I would try an agency except I don't think there's anything in my area. I'm in a a rural part of a pretty isolated area.
Anyway that's an interesting observation that perhaps it is precisely the intimacy I was looking for that caused feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and fear. Perhaps more casual is the way to go, at least in the beginning.
How old and how much GFE/intimacy was she sellling in her presentation? If you have social anxiety then a woman in your age range can spike feelings of inadequacy/anxiety/fear or commitment and if you add the intimacy thing? whoah.
Agency ladies are less likely to do the elaborate GFE thing and that is not a bad thing from my personal perspective and might be good for you...
Bottom line, you might want to consider avoiding those ladies selling intimacy for your next 5-6 appointments. Go for the ladies who sell hot sex! heheheh
If you want, you can move into the more GFE stuff later...
I usually was his posts off as sarcastic sneers, but what he said here sounds very helpful and sensible. Read his post again and try to take it to heart. You'll have some very happy times ahead.
Escorts are fucking fantastic at satisfying the sex drive.
(not being even a little bit critical, but at this point you really know nothing about it)
They are not very good at satisfying the intimacy drive.
(again, not being even the slightest bit critical, but...)
The two drives have overlap but are not the same thing.
And please note the following: I am an idiot and many disagree.