It should go without saying that activities like Greek require advance preparation, and should therefore be discussed...in advance.
Furthermore, if the OP feels uncomfortable asking for any activity, there is no reason not to communicate his request in advance. Whether or not the lady says "great!" or "no thank you", his anxiety will be lifted and maximum fun will ensue. From my end of things, the last thing *I* want to be doing during playtime is setting limits, fending off unwanted activities, and saying "no". Let's get your the questions answered before playtime starts so we can relax and enjoy!
Hi,
I have met a few providers mainly in the NYC area and I must say that every single time has been a great experience so far.
The thing that worries me is that I am usually a little shy to ask the ladies if its OK to try something different ( but might be considered normal by some people)
For e.g. I love licking feet and have a major foot fetish. However whenever I have met a provider, I am usually too embarrassed to even ask for it.
Also I have never tried the CIM option which I believe is provided by most providers.I would love to ask for this and try it out at least once but I never ask for it.
I understand that most providers advertise their services on their website, but if the lady does not offer it herself, is it ok for me to ask her for it?
Ladies, would you feel offended, if a guy asks you halfway through a session to lick your feet ? Would you think of the guy as a freak or get scared/worried?
I understand that I am paying the lady for her services, but just cos of that, I don;t want to and make her feel uncomfortable.
Any help would be much appreciate
If you are interested in certain things, so long as you are a gentleman, it does not hurt to ask. Of course, realize that the lady has the prerogative to say no, and if that happens, move on, have a good time and don't fret about it.
There are many providers who are into foot fetishes, you may want to try an ISO post in your local board. Ladies who are interested will reply and guys who know will also reply. CIM should be an easy one, don't be embarrassed to ask about that if it is something you know the lady does on a regular basis.
Read it. A lot of providers are happy to help you with a fetish or fantasy and advertise that fact. I post my skills on my site and note "if it's not listed here, I probably don't do it." I had a new client ask me for Greek once prior to and three times during a meeting when my site and I told him it wasn't on the menu. He's not welcome back.
..break out!
I love to try new and different things. I enjoy expanding my horizons. The only thing I don't like is anything in or near MY ass and I won't tongue your ass. But, most anything else is cool with me.
I think you are asking about simple things. It isn't like a serious kink scenario plan.
It just seems... odd, to need to ask certain things outright. You are both there, both in the moment... just go for it! Communication is a lot more than just words! If you lick her feet and she kicks you in the face as she convulses in laughter - just laugh with her and drop it. When she goes down on you just announce when you're cumming... she can spit, swallow or duck as she chooses.
Even for something like Greek, I'm more likely to start playing with her ass and say "I want your ass" than to stop mid-passion and politely say "Excuse me, but would it be OK if I placed my penis in your rectum?" Obviously, if she reacts and pulls away or says no, then drop it and move on.
I dunno. Just seems "off" to me to stop mid-passion to ask permission for everything... a mood-killer. I'd rather lead and back up if she chooses not to follow. I'd certainly do the same for her.
Maybe I'm waaaayyy off base here
for example, to take the case of the OP.
You might want to start massaging, then kissing the feet. If she draws back from that, then it's time to head in another direction. You need to be able to read the gal's body language, and keeping an eye on her facial expression is also a must. If she winces at something, back off. If she smiles then that's a green light.
Like any important art form, sex takes practice and practice makes perfect.
Till then, stick to the bunny slopes.
There is a difference between kissing someone's feet, trying to suck on one of their toes, kissing the neck, grabbing the ass etc., I also don't think you ask those things, you let it evolve, you go for it and see what happens. However, when it comes to something like CIM, unless you know it is standard procedure, I would not suggest that someone just go for it, the rest of the session, if there is any at all, may not be too enjoyable if that is something that is not on the menu. Of course, if a person does his/her research, he/she should have a good idea of what is available (PC nod to Lopaw).
Another example that comes to mind is that sometimes when I am working on under the hood, checking fluid levels, etc., I may want to use my fingers. Now, if I am going to do FIV, I would rather ask somehow and be told to proceed or not rather than having my hand swatted away or being kicked in the head or having the lady pull away. There are some things where I think verbalization is best, at least IMO.
For the OP: there is also a difference between a little foot attention and a session in which you play with the feet for a substantial part of the session, that is why I suggested an ISO, assuming that is what you are referring to. As for the post below stating that it is alright to ask about different things as you are communicating prior to the date, that is OK if you contact that particular lady, but as a general policy, my guess is that 99 out of 100 ladies will cut contact off with you the minute you are explicit about a particular menu item. Note also that your profile, including personal statement, if you belong to P411, give you an opportunity to verbalize what is important to you.
I was trying to make. Go slow, build up and pay attention to everything - verbal and non-verbal. Obviously, if the body language clues are ambiguous, you gotta use words to clarify. I don't advocate being "pushy", especially since theoretically we know her general boundaries when going into the date. I suppose we all started on the bunny slopes at some time!
It should go without saying that activities like Greek require advance preparation, and should therefore be discussed...in advance.
Furthermore, if the OP feels uncomfortable asking for any activity, there is no reason not to communicate his request in advance. Whether or not the lady says "great!" or "no thank you", his anxiety will be lifted and maximum fun will ensue.
From my end of things, the last thing *I* want to be doing during playtime is setting limits, fending off unwanted activities, and saying "no". Let's get your the questions answered before playtime starts so we can relax and enjoy!
especially about the Greek. I don't want to push anyone's boundaries and was responding from my own level of comfort - not responding directly to newbie anxieties. I am presuming that I already have some understanding of your boundaries from your profile and reviews before we even meet.
Recently I was with a friend who I have seen many times and we are totally relaxed with each other. We often try variations (positions, dress, etc) and I asked her if she was interested in trying something neither of us had done together before. She said, "no I don't like that," so I assume she had tried it and didn't like it, although it would have been a new, but not radical experience for me. So I left it and we went on about our business which, at least for me, was intense. Don't let the search for perfection be the enemy of the merely transcendental!
others have had CIM or COF or whatever you desire, then your chances of getting a "sure baby" reply are good.
I personally love a pre-playdate email along the lines of "Hey, X, Y, and Z are things I really enjoy, and I was thinking about trying such-and-such if that sounds fun to you". It's an un-awkward way for you to ask for what you want, and an equally un-awkward opportunity for me to say "no thanks" to anything I don't feel comfortable with. In short, it allows us to un-awkwardly jump right into your favorite fun stuff when we meet!
As far as foot-licking and other such past-times...not even vaguely freaky. xo
...a newbie and/or a monger you have never met?
Oh, and I'm always willing to talk about xyz. 
In fact, in addition to references, I ask for at least little info about his interests. I want to make sure that I am the right lady for the job!
I know some ladies won't allow mention of any activities that might suggest the envelope is compensation for anything more than their time. However, when it comes to more explicit conversation, my attitude is that proper screening makes the likelihood of legal consequences nearly nil.
...I PM wasn't possible I wouldn't discuss that stuff until in her presence.
receive radio silence from me. For me, it is never ok to discuss anything sexual whatsoever via email. Even if I've screened someone, I will cease communication if he sent any sexual requests.
I find the variations in our approaches fascinating, but I guess the guys must find it frustrating
Asking up front before things get hot and heavy, so that you don't have to take a time out mid-stroke to ask and potentially be let down.
Or you could do as Mr. Fisher suggested, which sounds like a good idea to me. Massaging her feet and then just trying it and respecting her if she pulls back. DON'T just give CIM a try, lol. That could be a disaster if she doesn't do it. Most TER provider's profiles will indicate if CIM is on the menu, but it's always good to double check.
I only have two items I will not do, CIM being one of them, and I'd rather someone just straight up ask me about it. A lot do. But my feet, you can make out with those the whole time if that's your fancy ; ) Remember, while you should always respect a provider's personal limitations, you are there to have YOUR fantasies fulfilled and we aren't mind readers so don't be afraid to speak up!
I have met a few providers mainly in the NYC area and I must say that every single time has been a great experience so far.
The thing that worries me is that I am usually a little shy to ask the ladies if its OK to try something different ( but might be considered normal by some people)
For e.g. I love licking feet and have a major foot fetish. However whenever I have met a provider, I am usually too embarrassed to even ask for it.
Also I have never tried the CIM option which I believe is provided by most providers.I would love to ask for this and try it out at least once but I never ask for it.
I understand that most providers advertise their services on their website, but if the lady does not offer it herself, is it ok for me to ask her for it?
Ladies, would you feel offended, if a guy asks you halfway through a session to lick your feet ? Would you think of the guy as a freak or get scared/worried?
I understand that I am paying the lady for her services, but just cos of that, I don;t want to and make her feel uncomfortable.
Any help would be much appreciated