If you send an e-mail it will probably be ignored. If by phone or in person you may hear something you don't want to hear. However it goes down, it will not be what you expect and will almost certainly be worse. Better to just let it go and keep fond memories rather than risk tainting the good times by having the p4p nature of things shoved in your face, either explicitly or implicitly by her silence. Sounds like you may be late cutting things off as it is, don't make it worse. And I'm saying this as one who has an ATF, and when it's run it's course it's done...she's GFE not GF.
Say a gent has been seeing a lady twice a month for about a year. Let's say the from the gent's perspective things have gone from really hot, to feeling like he and his envelope are being taken for granted, and he feels that given the sizable donation that things are not what he's wanting and that it's time to find someone else.
And let's also assume he spoke to her about this and she thought everything was great, and was shocked that he felt this way and that he didn't realize that her evenings "are not scripted" and that women don't always feel like the same things men do on a given night.
So... in view of the fact that this is a business where no one owes anyone anything, but at the same time, where two people have spent a lot of good times together and shared a nice personal connection that extends outside the bedroom but which by itself it way too expensive to pay for... my question to ladies and gents are:
Ladies, if a gent's moving on from a regular gig like this would you expect him to tell you that he's not going to be seeing you anymore or is it just expected that people come and go in this world?
Gents, would you be inclined to let her know you're moving on, or do you just stop making appointments?
keep in mind that for her, it's a business. Providers are not here looking for a mate, this isn't match.com. I would just stop making appointments with her. If she asks why, be honest.
Lots of ladies will just stop communicating, like answering texts, calls, emails, when they want to stop seeing a client. I know from firsthand experience, because it happened to me. A hobby buddy told me what was going on when I shared my situation with him.
Swim
OP’s question is very simple and didn’t mention anything about a met. The question is, should you tell her, things are not as hot and he would like to move on.
Regardless of providers do and don’t do, here is what I do. “Honey things are getting a bit bored so I think we should take break for couple of months and revisit”. This way you are not killing the relationship and if she wants to kill it, you did the right thing anyway.
What matters in life is, whether you do the right and be gentleman in your actions. What others do or don’t do and the way others behave in any given in any situation should not concern you.
Try it, life becomes a whole lot simpler.
But if she ask, tell her that it's not like before and the play has become stale.
If you still want to give her one more chance,she either do EXACTLY as you want or walk away.
Like tell her 'lick my balls', 'twirl your tongue on my head', etc. be very specific what you want.
You don't break up with a provider
I definitely agree with the breaking up thing... I was thinking more as a courtesy, if there is such a thing as a courtesy in p4p. I think it comes down to when do we stop being commodities and start being people; or perhaps more accurately when do we start being commodities who are also people.
If you send an e-mail it will probably be ignored. If by phone or in person you may hear something you don't want to hear. However it goes down, it will not be what you expect and will almost certainly be worse. Better to just let it go and keep fond memories rather than risk tainting the good times by having the p4p nature of things shoved in your face, either explicitly or implicitly by her silence. Sounds like you may be late cutting things off as it is, don't make it worse. And I'm saying this as one who has an ATF, and when it's run it's course it's done...she's GFE not GF.
When you treat like people instead of based on what they do for a living, you get human response. Besides, what does it matter what you hear.
Do you always run away from issues? Sounds cowardly to me.
whatever will I do now?
-- Modified on 2/7/2015 6:52:23 PM
I don't see the same provider more than twice. I find that sometimes they just get too comfortable. I do have a couple that I continue to see. I like to alternate. One week I will see someone new and then the next week I see one of my favorites that I know I will have a good time with.
one way street. She's certainly not turning clients away. I found one I liked & went exclusive... service suffered & I took a year break. Eventually I circled back, & added her into the rotation of Favs I'd established. Fast forward a couple of years, a fresh truck load of drama, & I'm done.
IMHO, it's best to rotate a few Favs or if you play infrequently, give lengthy breaks in between. Discussing it burns your bridges... book less often or just stop. IF she contacts, be ready with an excuse.
This is not exclusive as I do have a rotation to help keep my head straight. I like what you say about discussing it burns the bridges as that did not occur to me but it makes sense. It's just that if I'm about to lose a big chunk of income from someone I like, I'd want them to tell me rather than just disappear - but I'm not sure why I feel that way.
If someone is taking advantage of me, then it means that they no longer respect me. Every relationship in life, including a relationship with a pet, is built and hinges on respect.
People tend to relax their level of respect of one another in LTR, as the relationship becomes comfortable. It's for this very reason that I don't care to have a LTR anymore. If I were in your shoes, I'd simply see someone else. The beauty of our sport is that there are so many beautiful women, and you don't owe your ATF anything, nothing. You should be happy, if she isn't making you happy, find someone who will.
Don't ever let me tell you that I'm an intelligent man.
I suspect that I got my point across though.
Don't be quite so available. See if her bank account gets renewed excitement in your meetings..
is best for both of you. You've attempted a conversation about it, but it didn't bring forth a solution. So just cut back to once a month, and if that doesn't help, go every other month. That way she can see that she needs to replace that income but there's no huge drama. Don't tell her- it'll just piss her off. Best to just let her figure it out. We're smart that way. 
Also, it will allow her to save face. Because no matter what you say or how you say it, she's going to hear, "you suck".
-- Modified on 2/7/2015 11:43:45 AM
You aren't seriously suggesting that he spend thousands of dollars more for an experience he is no longer enjoying, are you?
I would agree with cutting back, but "avoiding drama" is hardly the right motivation. Taking a break to see if she gets the hint to step up her game is one thing. Something like not scheduling for a couple of months and then giving her a chance to "make up for it" on the next visit is one thing. Continuing to see her on a regular basis just because she has grown to rely on the money is HORRIBLE advice. and maybe she needs to hear those words "You suck" everyone needs a wake up call every once in a while.
providers are people, too! With feelings and this isn't a business. It's an intimate service that requires mutual respect and trust...and sorta "to death do we part". Once you commit to becoming a regular, you assume certain responsibilities. If not handled properly, you could get sued for palimony. It happened to a good friend of mine.
he wasn't totally over her- that he wanted to give her a chance to improve. He can do that by not scheduling when he next would have normally scheduled, but the following time he schedules at the normal time. She has a chance to renew her energy. If she doesn't take that hint, he could either move on or schedule again someday if he's hoping things will turn around. His call. I'd avoid drama by not mentioning it further- he's already tried to make his point and she didn't get it. No need to make a big fanfare. Just go quietly, or slowly and quietly if he prefers.
I'm serious. I've never seen that addressed here.
To zero. And don't say shit, it never results in anything but a pissing match. You're only two weeks away from your next ATF at any given time, anyhow.
She'll bring her A game the next time you see her. After all, the same shit on a regular basis gets old - ask any of the married guys here.
but I will agree that "the same shit on a regular basis gets old" that's the very reason that many of us are here. I've had some very hot GF's over the last many years, women that I didn't have to pay to be with, and women that guys my age would kill to be with. Guess what? I got tired of every one of them, that's what happens when you are a shallow, selfish pig like me I suppose.
But it has everything to do with your needs/feelings.
I had a similar situation about 5 years ago with a gal. I was seeking some other types of play and she wasn't all that interested. No issue on either side as I moved along to find the gals that would play as I was seeking.
However the gal that I had been seeing as you did, offered to play as I was seeking eventually. We did that for a bit, but it was abundantly clear that wasn't her gig. So my time with her slowed from every other week to once a month or so. I still see her over 5 years later.
Keep in mind that this is unlike most other personal service businesses. She's seeing other guys and is more than likely not interested in anything more than you to be a good dude when you do see her. But I can assure you that aside from having to replace your stipend, she's moved on as well.
So if you want to have that chat, go right ahead. Just don't be deluded that it's anything more than a courtesy. Most gals have a fairly set routine (in spite of the women's protestations here about each session being unique). It's quite normal to be comfortable with a set routine.
As others have said, circle back in a year and see if she's still hitting a button or two. If not, she won't take it personally, nor should you
low up in my face, some providers do not take kindly to losing that steady monthly income,especially if it is for extended dates!
I can understand wanting to discuss it with her or telling her upfront.
Then again at times things can improve, however it usually doesn't last.
And let's also assume he spoke to her about this and she thought everything was great, and was shocked that he felt this way and that he didn't realize that her evenings "are not scripted" and that women don't always feel like the same things men do on a given night.
So... in view of the fact that this is a business where no one owes anyone anything, but at the same time, where two people have spent a lot of good times together and shared a nice personal connection that extends outside the bedroom but which by itself it way too expensive to pay for... my question to ladies and gents are:
Ladies, if a gent's moving on from a regular gig like this would you expect him to tell you that he's not going to be seeing you anymore or is it just expected that people come and go in this world?
Gents, would you be inclined to let her know you're moving on, or do you just stop making appointments?
familiarity breeds contempt and twice a month is familiar, however, there is no shortage of providers who will be more than happy to replace her. Just don't be a jerk about it and try to give your provider a heads up. After a year I'm sure she's counting on the envelopes every month. Give her the opportunity to find a replacement instead of waiting to right before your"next" appointment to tell her that you're moving on. It's a Karma thing.
And let's also assume he spoke to her about this and she thought everything was great, and was shocked that he felt this way and that he didn't realize that her evenings "are not scripted" and that women don't always feel like the same things men do on a given night.
So... in view of the fact that this is a business where no one owes anyone anything, but at the same time, where two people have spent a lot of good times together and shared a nice personal connection that extends outside the bedroom but which by itself it way too expensive to pay for... my question to ladies and gents are:
Ladies, if a gent's moving on from a regular gig like this would you expect him to tell you that he's not going to be seeing you anymore or is it just expected that people come and go in this world?
Gents, would you be inclined to let her know you're moving on, or do you just stop making appointments?
The deal is she gets all she asks for on an hour to hour basis. When it no longer feels magical, there's neither a need or reason to get K'd. You're free to ignore anything. Doing otherwise is like a kid having to deconstruct his sandcastle before going home from the beach.
I'm moving on. I would just stop making appointments.
For the most part she won't care unless of course you are one of her best clients (in terms of the amount of business she gets from you)
"And let's also assume he spoke to her about this and she thought everything was great, and was shocked that he felt this way and that he didn't realize that her evenings "are not scripted" and that women don't always feel like the same things men do on a given night."
It seems your perception is different than hers. You have not given examples of being taken for granted so is it possible you're expectations are too high?
It's sweet of you to want to give a courtesy call, but quite honestly, you're likely going to end up getting a response you never wanted to hear, and if you're done, you're done. There's really no need for explanation, in my opinion. I'd rather you just go on your merry way (no pun intended Mr. Christmas, lol), than have a potential for a drama-filled, unnecessary, and possibly confrontational conversation to unfold. Especially if you've already made it clear you're not happy with the way it's been going lately. Should be no real surprise to her why you quit calling.
Please take what I'm about to say as gently as possible, as I do adore all of my friends. But I have found myself in a rare situation where I was on the other end...felt like I was working far too hard for the money. Not that I don't always give my all on every date, but I felt over time his expectations became a bit unrealistic, and he developed this attitude that his money paid for more than it did. I was done. Because I don't ever want to disappoint someone. I am happy with my choice in what I do, and the minute it becomes unhappy or not fun for me, it's time to move on from that person.
The whole purpose of this is to have a great time and fulfill fantasies. If that's not happening, shrug your shoulders and find someone that will indulge you ; )
Aro's right, it's GFE, not GF. Again, the sentiment is sweet, but just not appropriate in this situation.
Alex, I was also wondering if how do you know when you might need to take a reprieve from a certain "friend"? What are the five signals that you might use when determining when you need to part company from a client? Also how would you know when you might be getting to emotionally involved with a client as well? I just wanted to get a gage from a providers prospective because this subject would be a two way street.
And that is, every atf relationship will end. There's no getting around it. It can happen in a variety of different ways, from either, or both sides. One usually can feel when it's time to move on. Simply put, the magic just isn't there anymore. I've found that it's best to let it happen. It will play out in a variety of different ways, but it's best to let go. Sometimes you communicate, but it's probably better to let things slip away without complications. For sure, it's a sad thing to lose that go to connection. You wish that connection, and the great times could last forever. That you could keep the magic locked in a bottle. But the thought is the antithesis of this hobby.
For the most part, your ladies are gone forever. But sometimes, if you've let things slip away peacefully, things can circle back. When that rarity happens, the magic is stronger. But one cannot get their longevity hopes up, because that too will end eventually. I've had the privilege of having many atfs over the years. Many of those relationships ended for many different reasons. But two of them circled back, for a year and more. Of course, we've all moved on again. I'm still a happy camper though, because of my current atfs. In fact, one of my old old friends has circled back. My third circle back, if you will. What can I say? The magic is crazier, and I'll play it out as long as it lasts. The one thing I'm thinking about now, is whether or not things can circle back twice? Highly unlikely, and I wont lose any sleep over it. But in this wild TER ride, I'm open to anything.
I'm betting when she knows you've seem a few more gals, she'll tighten up on her time with you. I think it's bet to have a rotation. It's keeps things more fresh and everyone on their best game. Maybe go back to her again after you've had the chance to sample some more hot gals out there.
She'll get the message!
but I think it only matters to you. Most likely, she won't care. However, honesty and words from the heart are never unappreciated.
Don't be surprised that she was thinking everything was okay. The first 2, 5, 10, or 20 times with a lady are always special. And when things really click and your "rating" for her is a 10-10, it's pretty hard for her to improve on that.
Then when we want more, whatever that really means, she is confused. Maybe you could articulate just what it is you need or she is not providing for you. That should not be too difficult since twice a month for a year seems like a lot of time to communicate.
Lastly, I will say that maybe you have not been "taken for granted". But I am sure that it can and does happen sometimes for some people. If so, tell her your feelings and I'm sure that she will take those into consideration.
And just move on. After all, this is NSA, so start seeing others, whenever you feel like it.
And let's also assume he spoke to her about this and she thought everything was great, and was shocked that he felt this way and that he didn't realize that her evenings "are not scripted" and that women don't always feel like the same things men do on a given night.
So... in view of the fact that this is a business where no one owes anyone anything, but at the same time, where two people have spent a lot of good times together and shared a nice personal connection that extends outside the bedroom but which by itself it way too expensive to pay for... my question to ladies and gents are:
Ladies, if a gent's moving on from a regular gig like this would you expect him to tell you that he's not going to be seeing you anymore or is it just expected that people come and go in this world?
Gents, would you be inclined to let her know you're moving on, or do you just stop making appointments?
My first thought was that it was more courteous to let her know. especially if you thought she was particularly dependent on your donations.
But after reading the discussions, I think you are better off just not making appointments, if that is what you want to do. If you want to see her again, you can always reach out to her. Your relationship, after all, is a business relationship, and if you are not satisfied, you are completely right to move on.
If she contacts you to ask why you aren't seeing her, I'd give her a simple and straight-forward explanation, and tell her how much you enjoyed your times together, and that you may reach out to her again.
Hey Joe,
Just wondering if you could elaborate on "sizeable donation" and being taken advantage of?
Hey - it happens! I have had a few regulars leave my services after 6-12 months, and that's ok. I appreciate the honest conversation/notification (no matter how brief). No harm, no foul.
I really like cheeseburgers...but if I ate the same burger twice a week, sooner or later I'd lose interest. That's just the way life goes. It's not like she did anything 'wrong'. Sounds similar to what happens in a lot of relationships. That spark fizzles away. But with this hobby, there is no other component that's keeping friends 'linked' together...so move on.
When my friends became non-regulars, I didn't take it as a personal attack, nor did I feel like I had done something wrong.
I did, however, GREATLY APPRECIATE the fact that they told me they were moving on.
Communication....it's golden. -Z
emember that you owe her nothing! My point is that I think you should tell her you are taking a break and/or moving on. She may say "F U", "I can fix this", "no prob" or "you owe me". Do what YOU want to do and don't feel obligated or be hurt by whatever her response is.
This is one situation where it really is, and should be, all about you! Remember, we pay them to leave. Otherwise you should try match.com.
otherwise you're just a lyin' ass!
Bwahahaha!
I have never had expectations of a client once they leave my company...if they choose to book subsequent consultations and reap the rewards of my VIP Club - GREAT! If they don't wish to repeat - SO BE IT! Isn't the purpose of this hobby to give both companions and clients the opportunity to fully explore? Happy exploring everyone 
You were attractive to her as long as you spent Then you experienced her when done using you. Did you endure full cost period sex without forewarning thus robbing the intimacy you required from only her, manipulative emails & texts to get you to pay for things...ie Birthday gifts?
Just let her go. She isn't worth it and there is nothing to salvage. You aren't available and she only wants $$$. Besides, you probably pushed your case and she didn't care. The future with her is going to be a disappointment to you...let her go or you will suffer more grief and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Reserve your caring ways for someone who can give back in the same way and it most likely won't be p4p
Maybe she's run out of tricks (Ha!) and just isn't naturally creative. You could say, "Oh, I saw xyz, could we try something like that next time?"
If that perks her...ears up, great. Problem solved. If it doesn't, not so great but problem still solved, ie: simple excuse, "I need someone who is willing to try new things with me."
If you're not up for that... I think you've completely fulfilled your discussion "obligation," but you haven't actually said good-bye. It's the polite thing to do. Just a simple email, not reopening the discussion. No obligation to respond if she replies to it. IMHO.
Look for providers who charge 320 roses for 2 hours sessions.
I am sure there are providers out there who are affordable like that.
Keep looking and you will find them.
-- Modified on 2/12/2015 2:56:54 PM