sex is a small percentage of the needs I fulfil. If it's just sexual needs they want fulfilled, there are hundreds of younger, sexier, and less expensive ladies to fulfil them. When they come to me, it's a deeper connection- something more emotional and often spiritual. At the very least, it's a true companionship experience and meeting of the minds between more or less equals. (Being naked together is a great equalizer!) So with almost every encounter I have I am fulfilling "other than sexual needs", and this never gets uncomfortable for me. It's what I do, why I'm here. I'm fortunate and grateful that all who have come my way understand the value of the boundary created by the envelope. I don't foresee it ever changing. I'm good at enforcing boundaries.
I'm also grateful that I have long-term friends through this. I love those lasting relationships. I adore being here.OK, bear with me (or bare with me if you're a provider reading this naked...you know, like in my fantasies) as this is a bit of a stream of consciousness post on a rare lazy Saturday morning:
As a provider, how often do you find yourself fulfilling other than sexual needs and where does that start to get uncomfortable for you? Some recent posts have sounded more like guys struggling with dating than seeing providers, so it got me wondering how often you guys find yourselves walking the fine line between fulfilling your clients' desires and getting into a situation where the client starts thinking it's real and you have to deal with that.
And gentlemen, has GFE ever gone too far for your comfort level? Like maybe it got "too real" and you found yourself feeling weird because you started thinking "wow, I think she's maybe really into me?" I have not had this problem (though it sounds like it might be a fun problem to have!) but with 1.1 million reviews on TER and humans being humans surely it's happened.
Maybe this is just a case of shouldn't be posting before my second cup of coffee (no pun intended as I hate that f*#%ing phrase) but it popped into my brain so I posted it...groundbreaking, right
In the last 30 days there have been approx 6,000 posts and of those approx 3,000 have come from 10 posters....GaGambler leading the way and you have made it to #10. Congrats!
BTW, are you new here? This has been talked about ad nauseam.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:09:26 AM
Not, not new my charitable stiffy friend. Sorry to interrupt the long string of fresh new topics with something that has been touched on before. I'm so embarassed, that's probably never happened before.
BTW, are you new here? This has been talked about ad nauseam.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:09:26 AM
Good to now.
I am naked soaking in a tub of hot soapy water while replying. True story.
Now for your topic, I do feel that romantic feelings happen often between me and my clients, I mean what's not to love, right? And I too feel those feelings. But I understand that the heart and head are separate and I know the feelings, as real as they feel, are not something to act on. Embrace them - yes. pursue them -no.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 9:27:02 AM
This is an electronic medium! Don't electrocute yourself!
There are lots of "needs" other than sexual that this fulfills for me. The sense of romance being one. There's also the sense of adventure, of taking a bit of a risk. Then there's the jostling of power and control between the provider and me. And there's the thing of making some small effort to keep myself presentable between appointments and not letting myself go totally to seed. I find I drink less and spend less time on other distractions, bad habits, whatever. And I no longer need painkillers on a daily basis (my liver says Thank you, Ladies).
Do I fall in love often? Every fucking time! But it usually wears off during the drive home. Do I become friends with providers? Sometimes, when the gods decide to bless me.
There's the cocktail in the hotel lounge waiting for the room number to pop up on my phone. That's always pleasant, but not really a need. There are other little rituals like that. And there are certain articles of clothing and such that are set aside for the hobby. But in truth, I try to keep the rituals and paraphernalia that go along with this to a minimum.
Some sessions fulfill a spiritual need; some just yank me out of becoming a total recluse. Good to get out of the house now and then, I'm sure you'd agree. And as a spiritual being, it's also good to celebrate having a material, carnal experience. The spirit thing works both ways. Body and Soul.
And there are memories of lovers from my past that the providers help me relive, as well as fantasies of loves never known.
There are all kinds of things. Oh, and charting the routes to the incall locations has made we a whiz at using Google Map!
I was not asking if "feelings," for lack of a better word, happen. I was asking if shit ever goes to far and how do you deal. If nothing else maybe there are some great stories along these lines.
Since you asked so eloquently, and as a gentlemen... I have not yet had a GFE that has "gone too far" for my comfort level. I'm sure it happens as you noted, but they are the exception rather than the rule in my experience.
I think most of us as Jessica stated, can enjoy the fantasy and the connection for the time we are together... then are able to realize it for what it is... NSA carnal enjoyment between two adults. Have I made some lasting friendships? You betcha, but we both know and accept it as nothing more than what it is.
BTW, having coffee in the morning is much more enjoyable with someone who shares your passion for it.
but now all my brain blood seems to have gone somewhere else...nice pic!
being touched back. Irrelevant that we are not in love, it's a basic human need to be touched that way. I don't get it at home so I P4P. I understand the contract and have some idea of what's behind the curtain, so it's never gotten too far for my comfort level. I also suspect that providers, like other professional actresses, draw on their own human resources to provide a good show and through method acting may experience transitory feelings of their own. So yeah, there's often some real bit of exchange going on.....for 90 minutes. Bottom line: I'm grateful for those providers who treat me compassionately. And it sure feels great to get laid.
for the providers and all you guys, I wouldn't have anyone. Thanks to all! I LOVE YOU! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"... how often do you find yourself fulfilling other than sexual needs," I'll give you a perspective you may not have been looking for, but it happens--it happened to me, at least. I've never had any provider "cross the line" as far as romantic involvement. Which is a good thing, because I'd run as fast as I could from that kind of relationship with a provider--not at all what I'm looking for. But I've established friendships with a couple of providers over the years, meaning we occasionally interact outside the hobby as regular people, not hobbyist & provider, and not in a sexual way--just friends. They fulfill needs for me other than sexual--e.g. needs for friends with whom I can discuss my secret life in the hobby. No other friends know about that life. And they've filled other needs, also; e.g. they've helped me with good advice when I had some problems I couldn't bring to anyone else. And I help them as much as I can, in various ways, so it's not one-way. I try not to abuse these friendships, as both women have very busy, full lives, but I greatly value their friendship and hope it continues when they (or I) have retired from the hobby.
My best friend since childhood has cheated on each of his three wives, had numerous multiple "monogamous" LTRs simultaneously, etc.
And yet, he cannot abide my hobby stories. Double standard, much?
It's great to have a real friendship with a provider. With whom else can you really have a conversation about hobby topics, who really understands "the deal"? And who will give you good advice, without judging you? Maybe (some) shrinks--but hard to find someone in your "real life" who will not somehow look down on you for your "lifestyle choices.
Great post, nom!
You won't get the full potential unless you let yourself go beyond "safe" bounds.
And so, from time to time, my heart has been broken a bit; but so what? Time heals and the highs I've experienced have been worth 10 times the hurt, at least.
One great thing I've learned about the relationships I've formed in the hobby: They are too important to take seriously. I reserve that for the mundane things, like work.
Sex, passion, and rock and roll should never have limits placed on them.
You need to write a book. Seriously!
And so, from time to time, my heart has been broken a bit; but so what? Time heals and the highs I've experienced have been worth 10 times the hurt, at least.
One great thing I've learned about the relationships I've formed in the hobby: They are too important to take seriously. I reserve that for the mundane things, like work.
Sex, passion, and rock and roll should never have limits placed on them.
I guess I'll have her ghost write it.
I still can never even figure out how to spell words that end in "le" or "el", and don't get me started on lie,lied, lay, laid, etc.
Maybe it's a good thing then that lay lady lay is already taken lol! As tried and true as it may seem, I think The Wit and Wisdom of Mr. Fisher has a ring to it. Philosophical yet mysterious at the same time. People will be wondering out loud 'so who is this Mr. Fisher?'
If the venture ever was successful, I'd be hounded by the snoops until they learned my true ID, and I don't need that. I value privacy very highly.
It would have to be a posthumous venture.
That borders on profound...you should write a book, i before e rule be damned.
I have almost a hundred of them so far.
My favorite: albeit.
I like atheism and heist
I agree with you whole-heartedly, mrisher.
BUT…
While romantics and masochists like us are ok with getting our hearts dinged, some people are not ok with dinging them. Can’t talk them out of the guilt. So when we daredevils are pushing internal boundaries, we need to make sure we’re pushing with a willing partner.
And even when we have a willing partner, we still need to consider her feelings. As naïve or even arrogant as this might sound, it is possible for two daredevils to push to the point that she feels something, too. Never mind what the cynics say. If she’s not comfortable with that, then “daredevil” slides into “asshole” so seamlessly you won’t even see it until she’s cursing you out. Don’t be too humble or too jaded to consider the possibility.
Take it from a humble, jaded, blind, delusional, and reforming asshole
...but so far have kept the boundaries - and let this just remain as fun little two-hour flings and nothing else. If I like a lady too much - meaning I think "wow, she seems like just my type" - especially personality-wise - "under different circumstances I'd..." then I usually back away. Because people who I am really attracted to on a different level I want to find out so much more about, to get to know them. That is not a good mix for this, and will leave one frustrated. So I've backed-off a bit the couple times I met someone who I perhaps clicked with a little bit too well. I want to keep this hobby as just for fun - and look for real relationships elsewhere (but damn if the fun and ease of this isn't preventing me from investing the time and effort to do the latter!).
sex is a small percentage of the needs I fulfil. If it's just sexual needs they want fulfilled, there are hundreds of younger, sexier, and less expensive ladies to fulfil them. When they come to me, it's a deeper connection- something more emotional and often spiritual. At the very least, it's a true companionship experience and meeting of the minds between more or less equals. (Being naked together is a great equalizer!) So with almost every encounter I have I am fulfilling "other than sexual needs", and this never gets uncomfortable for me. It's what I do, why I'm here. I'm fortunate and grateful that all who have come my way understand the value of the boundary created by the envelope. I don't foresee it ever changing. I'm good at enforcing boundaries.
I'm also grateful that I have long-term friends through this. I love those lasting relationships. I adore being here.
Sarah, as always, I find myself torn between wishing there were more women like you, and on the other hand being truly glad that you're a one of a kind. And to this day I feel very strongly both ways! Talk about board crushes!!!
...has been asked (by some of her friends, whom she often invites to our dates) questions like "So how did you meet?", or "You two seem like you've known each other forever. How long have you been seeing each other?"
Her response usually: "We're like an old married couple."
WTF does that even really mean? I have no friggin' clue. I've stopped trying to analyze "our relationship". It is very intense, and we are "real-life" friends in addition to whatever else we are. But I just can't let myself fall down that rabbit-hole.