More than that she was a friend and is to this day. She still works for me. She is no longer an escort.
I run a small but not too small business and want to hire a provider in a management level position. I think providers are some of the best business people I know; self sufficient, savvy, willing to take risks, profit oriented, people oriented and even she's a dash of BSC is fine and in fact preferred lol. Some would say I am too. And in fact, I’m talking to someone I know very well right now about the job and the discussions are pretty serious. I don’t know if she’ll take it but I’d say there’s at least a 50/50 chance.
If she takes it this would be the end of our physical relationship as I would never want that to be an issue for either of us. But it’s a great job – salary, lots of great benefits, great boss lol, etc. - and she’d be a great addition to our team and I’m fine with making the ultimate sacrifice lol (as she’s a great provider) to better her life, her kid’s life, and my business.
And I have also not asked if she’ll continue to provide as I really don’t care what anyone does in their personal lives. Plus, I’m thinking it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to suggest she doesn’t and I wouldn’t do that.
But… there is one issue that bothers me some, as her website her pics are such where they are blurred but you can pretty much make out her face without too much trouble. Now the chances of a co-worker or someone I do business recognizing her is remote, but while I’m not afraid of trouble if she’s outed, I don’t want to invite trouble either. I have not even asked if she will continue providing nor do I really want to – but I am wondering if you all think it’s out of line for me to suggest that if she takes the job and she does continue to provide, that she totally blur her face on her website. And also, I’m thinking I’d want to request that she avoid telling any clients her real name and where she works, as she told me her real name on our first ‘date’ without me asking (and I know it was a real real name as it's on her resume). I guess in the end it’s my business and I get to make the rules about what I ask and don’t, but I don’t want to be a jerk about this either and make offensive requests. This is new ground for me as I have never quite given new meaning to the phrase ‘headhunter’ as I am here. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:50:49 AM
Yep, I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind, but there's just as good a chance (well, almost as good a chance) that it could be me in the headline, so I just have to say to myself if this is the life I've chosen for me then the risk is worth it as fair is fair.
but my answer to "can you live with that?? is a resounding YES. Everyone already knows I am a whore mongering pig, and I make ZERO effort to hide it.
If she takes it this would be the end of our physical relationship as I would never want that to be an issue for either of us. But it’s a great job – salary, lots of great benefits, great boss lol, etc. - and she’d be a great addition to our team and I’m fine with making the ultimate sacrifice lol (as she’s a great provider) to better her life, her kid’s life, and my business.
And I have also not asked if she’ll continue to provide as I really don’t care what anyone does in their personal lives. Plus, I’m thinking it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to suggest she doesn’t and I wouldn’t do that.
But… there is one issue that bothers me some, as her website her pics are such where they are blurred but you can pretty much make out her face without too much trouble. Now the chances of a co-worker or someone I do business recognizing her is remote, but while I’m not afraid of trouble if she’s outed, I don’t want to invite trouble either. I have not even asked if she will continue providing nor do I really want to – but I am wondering if you all think it’s out of line for me to suggest that if she takes the job and she does continue to provide, that she totally blur her face on her website. And also, I’m thinking I’d want to request that she avoid telling any clients her real name and where she works, as she told me her real name on our first ‘date’ without me asking (and I know it was a real real name as it's on her resume). I guess in the end it’s my business and I get to make the rules about what I ask and don’t, but I don’t want to be a jerk about this either and make offensive requests. This is new ground for me as I have never quite given new meaning to the phrase ‘headhunter’ as I am here. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:50:49 AM
LOL...I am definitely old enough to get the reference.
First, I wouldn't let the way that you met influence you too much. Many providers have real life jobs and/or retire and join the work force. But, since you do know about her website, I would let her know if she wants the job she needs to either quit escorting completely or go utr - no web presence.
If she takes it this would be the end of our physical relationship as I would never want that to be an issue for either of us. But it’s a great job – salary, lots of great benefits, great boss lol, etc. - and she’d be a great addition to our team and I’m fine with making the ultimate sacrifice lol (as she’s a great provider) to better her life, her kid’s life, and my business.
And I have also not asked if she’ll continue to provide as I really don’t care what anyone does in their personal lives. Plus, I’m thinking it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to suggest she doesn’t and I wouldn’t do that.
But… there is one issue that bothers me some, as her website her pics are such where they are blurred but you can pretty much make out her face without too much trouble. Now the chances of a co-worker or someone I do business recognizing her is remote, but while I’m not afraid of trouble if she’s outed, I don’t want to invite trouble either. I have not even asked if she will continue providing nor do I really want to – but I am wondering if you all think it’s out of line for me to suggest that if she takes the job and she does continue to provide, that she totally blur her face on her website. And also, I’m thinking I’d want to request that she avoid telling any clients her real name and where she works, as she told me her real name on our first ‘date’ without me asking (and I know it was a real real name as it's on her resume). I guess in the end it’s my business and I get to make the rules about what I ask and don’t, but I don’t want to be a jerk about this either and make offensive requests. This is new ground for me as I have never quite given new meaning to the phrase ‘headhunter’ as I am here. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:50:49 AM
As you say, undoubtedly providers go to school before or while providing and get degrees/training for a reason and I really consider for someone with their head on straight, providing to a positive. I like smart, risk takers. And I like your approach about how to handle the discussion. Thank you!
You should t have a problem finding someone else. There's just way to many things that can go wrong with your idea. Some have already been discussed and I'm sure more post will ad how this hire could turn into a disaster.
You're right, there are some things that can definitely go wrong. But at the same time I have known her for a good while and while of course anything can go bad, and there is an element of risk in most things, and probably more here than elsewhere, this is the sort of job where I have no doubt she'd be great. Is she the only one for the job - probably not. But she's a known quantity to me and I like what I know from a purely business sense.
You won't believe how many hot shot applicants for various jobs I have interviewed over the years where it sounds like they have been programmed to spit out the same crap. I've taken some risks to get my company to a pretty good place, and of course I don't want to do something stupid to crash and burn it as, in addition to me, there are other people who depend on me for their jobs -- but I won't hold being a provider against anyone, an how we met is less of a concern to me though maybe I am missing something. Just as if someone got a DWI I wouldn't hold that against them either, and the difference is in a DWI situation someone could kill someone.
Of course there's the additional control you could exert over her because you know about her other life or past or whatever and she'll be counting on you to keep that secret no matter what. And of course she'll be grateful. Might express that gratitude in a variety of ways, like as the end-of-the-year bonuses are being negotiated, or when your heart gets broken by your next fling and only a blowjob can set your world right again. And all the happy memories you can share over cocktails at office parties.
I know I make it sound like a really good deal for you, but...think about it.
In business, it's always good to visualize the outcome of any change you're thinking of making.
Hey man, I usually am really good with what you say but here I think you are a bit off base, though I won't take it personally. I am not looking for expressions of gratitude. I don't want to exert any control. It's a job. She wins and my company wins. Actually, while I would never imagine holding a secret we share over her head, in fact, as I have contemplated this I think she has way more leverage over me if I wanted to think that way. And resumes are often not worth the paper they're written on in my opinion.
I much prefer hiring (or not hiring) people I know. Knowing a person and how they approach their work, and their life, is far more important to me. I've actually gotten to where I don't give a crap as to where someone went to school or if they went to school ,as often they think that's something they can wrap themselves in regardless of their actual talent, interpersonal skills, and drive. I want the best person for the job, period.
So Brut old friend, while I will continue to look for and enjoy your next post, this is one that I am not as enamored with, at least up to your last sentence, which I think it up to your usual standards.
The thing is, your P4P relationship puts you in a position of having leverage over the employee beyond what's defined in the employer/employee work situation whether you use and abuse that leverage or not. And your work relationship will go through changes, as I'm sure you are aware of. In two or three years it might look different at some stressful time, and you might want to avoid that. That's all.
You're walking in with both eyes open. You can suggest she be more UTR if that's a serious concern to you..
I've hired two mistresses, (one of whom I'm pretty sure turned a trick or two before I met her) and had no serious ill effects. In one case the physical relationship ended with the hire, in the other it continued...
As for it being a disastrous hire, I've made several of those and they were neither mistress nor hooker... just seriously bad character judgment.. In this case, you've already got a leg up as you're already familiar with her character and capabilities...
Yes, it's very easy to make a bad hire from a couple of interviews and a resume. Especially when what they do will involve lots of high level customer contact. But when you have had a chance to gauge someone's professionalism, and their attention to detail and quality in their own business, it is as you say, a leg up.
Plus, she really wants a job like this and the benefits are important to her too for reasons I won't go into. And I don't even know if she will continue to provide, but like I said, I do want to clarify a few things in advance, and while I am grateful for opinions to the contrary and may find someone points something out that I had not considered, I'm a risk taker too and I find a smart, professional, personable, detail oriented person who really wants and needs a job has many of the right ingredients then that's a risk I am more comfortable taking.
So she is pretty open and it seems that her privacy is not important to her (I based this on her telling you her real name on your first meeting). I have guys ask me often what my real name is. I always have a fake name for them as to me, that is none of their business. I am a very private person and a utr provider though I have been at it since 2004. Did you ever think that if she does continue to see clients that she would tell them of her new job that her client so and so gave her and here is where she works? You take a chance hiring anyone be it in this biz or not but if you hire her, at least go over with her about being quiet and not telling anyone (her clients) where she works or who hired her. Otherwise good luck and update us when you do hire her
Yes, she told me her name. And she's not the first. And I don't know why as I didn't ask as I never do. But yes, I would want her to not tell a client where she works or her name; that would be pretty important.
If she wants the job and she is ok with how we approach her providing (and again, she may want to stop, I don't know) then unless I hear something on this thread that never occurred to me to make me change my mind, it will be hers and I will update you - or you will see me on the news if I'm wrong.
it is asking for trouble to have any sort of non-escort relationship with an escort. Likewise, it is a mistake to have a relationship with a co-worker. it can not go well. it can only go bad
No upside. Enormous downside. You'll end up hooking up with her again. You will regret that.
My $0.02? Terrible idea.
you can resist her charms, she is very likely to want to refer to them again and the outcome could be:
1. You succumb and suffer the manipulation that can entail or....
2. You successfully resist, and then end up with, in the words of Congreve: "...a woman scorned...." Guess what that will be like.
You are a risk taker, that's for sure, but there are risks and there are follies. I think this idea falls into the latter category.
Which ever way you decide, best of luck with it. I do appreciate bringing this unusual situation to the board.
As usual, you are the one who gives me cause to reflect. Actually this entire branch does, so thank you all. I never worried, perhaps foolishly, about my ability or inability to resist her as I figured I'd just find my fun elsewhere, but it never occurred to me that if she is anxious to play (perhaps for fun, perhaps to manipulate though I'd guess not but still, who knows), and I am not then it could be an ugly picture.
This is definitely worth thinking about - thank you. And while I'm not sure this will change the job offer equation, if it does it may lead to a new post about how to stop the job discussion as that seems akin right now to putting the toothpaste back into the tube. But I asked the question here for a reason as this is certainly not the 'cleanest' of situations... I just never thought of this angle and you all make a great point.
1. You succumb and suffer the manipulation that can entail or....
2. You successfully resist, and then end up with, in the words of Congreve: "...a woman scorned...." Guess what that will be like.
You are a risk taker, that's for sure, but there are risks and there are follies. I think this idea falls into the latter category.
Which ever way you decide, best of luck with it. I do appreciate bringing this unusual situation to the board.
But it seems like there is just too much history.
If the work performance goes a little bad, then what would happen?
You both have something on each other, and I think despite the good-intentions by both of you, it does make for a bit of a weak foundation on which to build the best work relationship.
I'd suggest trying to help mentor her to find a position of interest with someone without any hobby connection.
It's not up to you to tell her, her business, but without you getting involved in her provider life you could (behind closed doors) suggest strongly that her pictures aren't discreet enough. If she isn't allowed to reveal where she works (and most provoders don't reveal this) say so. You are taking a risk with her but as you say the world is full of former providers.
IF you hire her, you can never discuss this with her again. "Don't ask, don't tell"
I think you are definitely correct about never discussing our 'prior life' again. And as Mr. Fisher said, hopefully she won't want to discuss it either.
IF you hire her, you can never discuss this with her again. "Don't ask, don't tell"
In fact I have hired at least one former sex worker with multiple arrests with her face on the front of busted and her name in multiple local papers and on a nightly news cast, when SLC busted 20 something ladies over a weekend and wanted to brag. I think it is stupid not to hire someone for a victimless crime
If not, then it is a very different situation.
Of course, you are an exceptional person. Knowing what I do about you, I'd have no concern regarding your judgment.
I think this is the critical piece. Hiring an escort one has no connection with is a lot less complicated although not without complications such as the photos and all. But here there's a situation where the OP has made an offer to someone he has a relationship with, and this has a set of complications all its own whether it's with a provider, a mistress, or a spouse.
More than that she was a friend and is to this day. She still works for me. She is no longer an escort.
I am sometimes literally ashamed of the company I keep, and I am NOT talking about the hookers.
I agree with you 100% I too have hired hookers and exhookers and I hope I have the opportunity to do so again in the future.
some people need to get off their high fucking horse around here
I'm glad to know that you all have done this and you seem to have survived quite well and are not in lawsuit hell, though I'm not ignoring the fact that lawsuit hell exists.
There are a lot of posts here that attribute the worst of potential motives to her, while I suppose I do the opposite. Some posts have given me cause to rethink this, but in the end so far I still see more reasons to do it; especially because I think she'll do a great job. Plus, she has a kid she needs to support somehow, maybe forever, and though you wouldn't ever know it to look at her I am guessing she's in her late 40s.
The more I think about it, given her life situation it would be suicide for her and her kid to be less than honorable as we are very a very stable company, doing well in a good and bad economy, and she should have a job with a growing retirement account and a full package of benefits until she wants to call it quits. And I know I would be honorable. Can she screw me over? absolutely. Would she be more likely to do so than someone hired off two interviews and a resume? I'm not sure. Doe she have more 'on me'? I suppose. what would it do for her life to come forward and sue (and conceivable lose because her claims as some hypothetically suggest would be false so while anyone can sue, it doesn't mean she'd win). Are some chances are worth taking? I'm thinking and hoping this is one of them.
This has been a very helpful conversation so far. I've gone back and forth in my thinking because of what many of you have said. Thank you everyone and I hope it continues.
I agree with you 100% I too have hired hookers and exhookers and I hope I have the opportunity to do so again in the future.
some people need to get off their high fucking horse around here
Don't do it; just walk away. It would be very different if you had not seen her professionally. Since you have been intimate with her, a labor lawyer would basically accuse you of sexual harassing her; in fact, she could just abruptly quit one day and serve you the next with a complaint about a hostile workplace environment. That you had not promoted and compensated her because she would not put out again. And she would probably win because she could probably prove that you did f*ck her.
These types of complaints happen even when there is no sexual contact and, in fact, is a very good reason to avoid hiring women in the first place. One of those unforeseen consequences things. Regardless - if you are an owner - NEVER EVER F*CK THE HELP.
If you do it - there is a very good possibility that your company will become her company.
As far as the pics are concerned, I really would not worry about it. People in pictures look very different than in real life.
Now - IF you had not f*cked her, you are basically where you would have been if you did not know what she did for a living and you could probably hire her just as you might any woman.
These types of complaints happen even when there is no sexual contact and, in fact, is a very good reason to avoid hiring women in the first place. One of those unforeseen consequences things. Regardless - if you are an owner - NEVER EVER F*CK THE HELP.
If you do it - there is a very good possibility that your company will become her company.
As far as the pics are concerned, I really would not worry about it. People in pictures look very different than in real life.
Now - IF you had not f*cked her, you are basically where you would have been if you did not know what she did for a living and you could probably hire her just as you might any woman.
you mentioned she would be in customer relations. What if you find out she is fucking your customers, with or without additional compensation, to get a better outcome of whatever her role is with the client? More sales, better customer satisfaction, etc.
I still think it would be difficult not to fuck her as it would be much more convenient than arranging other providers during a busy work schedule. How about travel? Would you guys be traveling for any work related reasons? Again, much easier and safer to fuck the one you know is safe.
BTW, these are not my personal thoughts. They are just put out there for board discussion. If I could, I would marry & hire all you beautiful ladies!
Regardless of the relationship they had in the past (remember, regardless of the service provided, it was a business relationship; it's not like he's hiring his girlfriend, which could be construed as nepotism.), I feel like there's not enough credit given to someone who actually has the foresight to hire someone who is qualified and competent for a job regardless of the job candidate's past or present dealings. That takes guts. And with those guts comes the knowledge that certain areas are now off-limits; if he wants to proposition her, he certainly can. She can also counter with a lawsuit, and that counter has no bearing on their past because she didn't work for him in the past. But, assuming that the OP is a professional businessman, he wouldn't be doing such things. He'd be treating her as the employee he hired to do the job, hopefully.
I also feel like a lot of people are assuming that others in the company know about the OP's other business with the provider. Unless the OP told a bunch of people about the hooker he saw, and directed them to her website, other employees would be none the wiser. In order for that provider to be found out, people have to be looking.
Is there such a thing as ex post facto sexual harassment? Considering their past dealings were a business transaction, I don't think that would even qualify; she wasn't working for him when he utilized her services as a hooker. But if there is such a thing as ex post facto sexual harrassment, I'm sure the burden of proof for such a thing is INCREDIBLY difficult to meet.
If she's qualified and you're certain she'd do an excellent job and be profitable, then hire her.
It's more of an account management position with existing accounts. No commission so I would imagine little or no incentive to fuck the customers to get a better outcome. I'd like to think she wouldn't and I guess I'll have to leave it at that. My bigger concern in this area was that she would walk into an account and see someone she's fucked already, but I think the chances are remote enough for me not to worry.
We haven't fucked since I brought this up though it's only been about a month that we've discussed it. We've met for lunch and talked about this and other things, but I have to show her - and myself - that I am able to resist the temptation. And she hasn't brought it up. It's like we're two totally different people when we discuss this. I was clear on that part before we even started talking because I didn't want her wondering what I wanted in return for this job, as I sought her out, not the other way around. I care about her a lot and at this point it's like hey, we've had a lot of great sex, at least I did, and it will get me off even more than a weekend with her in Vegas to know she's now set for life, and that my business will be far better off for it. Obviously I'm not your typical businessman but strangely,somehow it works.
Yes, there is some travel but other than day trips there is no overnight travel we would have to do together. I have invited her to travel with me previously, but that would not be part of our lives going forward.
set up a trust fund for her and keep fucking her. It's obvious you have feelings for her and to think you can turn this into strictly an employer/employee situation is somewhat naive, imho. At the moment, you feel great and she feels great, but as the relationship changes so will all the euphoria. How will you feel when, for whatever reason, you have to let her go?
Ha, I never thought of the trust fund angle; actually I'm still waiting for someone to do that for me!
And yes, you make a really good point about how I might feel if I had to let her go and to be honest I don't have a good answer for that. But I say to myself that's like doing into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. If it happens, it does, but in all honesty I confess I have a feeling I would bend over backwards to keep her on. I'm carrying at least two now, maybe more if I stop and think about it; I don't have the heart to let them go. What I do will never be taught at an MBA program, that's for sure, but I never took a business course in all my schooling and I think it shows for better or worse.
I'm one of your employees you're carrying. Then I say, Carry On!!!!
Ha, these are two beloved employees where if I cut them loose the staff would be heartbroken and also wonder if they were next. Every situation is unique and as I see it has to be evaluated in the short and long term. So if you were here you would surely be beloved too and no doubt we would carry you as well lol. Of course, they do have to work, it's just that through no fault of their own they're not as good as they once were. But then again, neither am I!
I would say go for it. A bunch of the things you said ring true, including the part about knowing a person being more important than whatever the resume said. In addition, you both sound mature enough to be able to handle it without too much stress.
Before I started mongering, I had a sit-down with myself and came to a clear understanding that I would never be able to talk about it to anyone else. Sounds like you've had this convo about this issue with yourself, and sounds like you're disciplined enough to carry it out.
There surely is appeal in the idea of having someone you obviously like working with you. And being a monger, you can always find someone else to play with.
My one caveat, and this may only be me. I'd have a hard time (!) being around her if I hadn't gotten that initial attraction out of my system. Some providers, it takes only once, some half a dozen times. My long term ATFs, its settles down to the point where if the relationship ended, I would be sad, but not dysfunctional.
Hey Joe, yes, I think I have had the same talk with myself and I think we did actually arrive at the same place as mature adults in this. Like I said at first, she may not take it after all this, as maybe the thought of a job like this is not for her, but it sounds like she's seriously weighing it in view of all her other needs as we both know life gets complicated sometimes. And in many ways I think she'd really like to do it as she took the time to go to school for work like this.
While many great points have been raised about whether I should do this, my initial concern wen I posted was how to get her providing more utr, as I pretty much decided before hand to go forward, although some well articulated posts here did give me some second thoughts to work through.
And you're right, if I thought being around her would be too crazy like this I'd probably do it anyway but have a lot more misgivings. But we're in the hobby with out eyes open. We no doubt enjoy each other's company but I could tell when we were doing lunch that she can totally disengage and I can too. I'll find someone else, and if she stays with it I have no doubt she will have no lack of clients. We weren't exclusive, she sees several other guys and I see a few other women too, and while we clearly do have feelings for each other I think we both passed the Romeo and Juliet stage of our lives years ago.
Lots of great comments here, and definitely yours... all are appreciated.
Before I started mongering, I had a sit-down with myself and came to a clear understanding that I would never be able to talk about it to anyone else. Sounds like you've had this convo about this issue with yourself, and sounds like you're disciplined enough to carry it out.
There surely is appeal in the idea of having someone you obviously like working with you. And being a monger, you can always find someone else to play with.
My one caveat, and this may only be me. I'd have a hard time (!) being around her if I hadn't gotten that initial attraction out of my system. Some providers, it takes only once, some half a dozen times. My long term ATFs, its settles down to the point where if the relationship ended, I would be sad, but not dysfunctional.
I've done this before, with both strippers and providers, and it turned out very well in each instance. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I always put them in a line job directly in the path of revenue generation. That way I set them up for success in what they all do so well, which is go get that cheese. Not sure how that would work out in a staff AM position though, not even sure I'd want to waste their natural talent there either.
Not to say that I'd do this with random women, in every case they were already well qualified, they just had that extra hustle in them.
I agree that the entrepreneurial spirit and ability to deal well with difficult people/situations would lend itself to more of a revenue generating position, but this is the one that's available and if she grows an account or two in the process then that will be great for me, and she would be rewarded as well... just as with any other employee. This will be an interesting next week or two as we'll get this figured out, or not.
And I am really glad to hear it worked out well for you with the women you hired. And yes, the key is being well qualified. Setting her up for failure would not be good for either of us.
-- Modified on 2/2/2015 6:17:33 AM
gday there hun
what does the job involves …
amazing alley
xo
If she takes it this would be the end of our physical relationship as I would never want that to be an issue for either of us. But it’s a great job – salary, lots of great benefits, great boss lol, etc. - and she’d be a great addition to our team and I’m fine with making the ultimate sacrifice lol (as she’s a great provider) to better her life, her kid’s life, and my business.
And I have also not asked if she’ll continue to provide as I really don’t care what anyone does in their personal lives. Plus, I’m thinking it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to suggest she doesn’t and I wouldn’t do that.
But… there is one issue that bothers me some, as her website her pics are such where they are blurred but you can pretty much make out her face without too much trouble. Now the chances of a co-worker or someone I do business recognizing her is remote, but while I’m not afraid of trouble if she’s outed, I don’t want to invite trouble either. I have not even asked if she will continue providing nor do I really want to – but I am wondering if you all think it’s out of line for me to suggest that if she takes the job and she does continue to provide, that she totally blur her face on her website. And also, I’m thinking I’d want to request that she avoid telling any clients her real name and where she works, as she told me her real name on our first ‘date’ without me asking (and I know it was a real real name as it's on her resume). I guess in the end it’s my business and I get to make the rules about what I ask and don’t, but I don’t want to be a jerk about this either and make offensive requests. This is new ground for me as I have never quite given new meaning to the phrase ‘headhunter’ as I am here. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:50:49 AM
But I guess you can't pass up an opportunity to post your link.
You lucky bastard...I wish I would have thought of that...the new casting couch!!!
Ladies, I just realized I have an opening. Please PM me.
You know, this would be a brilliant plan as a new casting couch except for one thing - haha, I'm actually giving up sex with the person I'm hiring. So as you can see, my work isn't in the field of porn, although I am a big fan.
Ladies, I just realized I have an opening. Please PM me.
second thoughts if your business is in the public eye.
It sounds to me that you plan to treat her as you would any other employee (no physical relationship, no meddling in her personal life, all that jazz), so I don't see the issue.
As for her identity being exposed, the fact that she obscures her face suggests that she's also concerned with discretion, and probably has a plausible deniability plan in place.
Ultimately, only you and her can weigh the risks. If the two of you decide that it's all good, then rock on.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 7:08:59 PM
presented here and you sound like someone astute enough to have weighed all the pros and cons by now. I say go for it. If you're concerned about any of the points brought up here, you'll mull them over, and maybe even discuss one or two with her. As far as her web presence, just ask that she crop her photos below her nose. Unless she has a very notable mouth, that's enough to completely disguise anyone. As far as her sharing her name, it could be lack of discretion on her part or her spidey senses told her you were fine to share that info with. Only you and she can determine which it was.
I think the positives for you outweigh the negatives.
I once had a similar opportunity with someone I knew several years ago via this little world. It was tempting for the benefits and salary. But after thinking about it very hard, I ultimately decided against it because if I'd wanted to work in a mainstream job, I would have been doing it already. Nah- the "real world" is definitely not for me. I have no desire to be beholden to anyone but myself. I have never liked working for someone else.
But if you do go ahead with hiring her, I'd like to put myself forward as a candidate for her replacement in your bed. Lol! 
Work that well many have damage hands. They can't lift blocks They can Check at the pistons slower than the average Inspector. But my job is so boring I love herring there back in the day story when Ad were free and brothels Paid them to show up and there are still gold digging In there 50's.
I have done exactly what you are looking to do years ago. If you want to talk confidentially send me an email and we can talk in private. Not knowing your type of company and situation it is difficult to offer advice. My email is [email protected] if you are interested.
If she takes it this would be the end of our physical relationship as I would never want that to be an issue for either of us. But it’s a great job – salary, lots of great benefits, great boss lol, etc. - and she’d be a great addition to our team and I’m fine with making the ultimate sacrifice lol (as she’s a great provider) to better her life, her kid’s life, and my business.
And I have also not asked if she’ll continue to provide as I really don’t care what anyone does in their personal lives. Plus, I’m thinking it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to suggest she doesn’t and I wouldn’t do that.
But… there is one issue that bothers me some, as her website her pics are such where they are blurred but you can pretty much make out her face without too much trouble. Now the chances of a co-worker or someone I do business recognizing her is remote, but while I’m not afraid of trouble if she’s outed, I don’t want to invite trouble either. I have not even asked if she will continue providing nor do I really want to – but I am wondering if you all think it’s out of line for me to suggest that if she takes the job and she does continue to provide, that she totally blur her face on her website. And also, I’m thinking I’d want to request that she avoid telling any clients her real name and where she works, as she told me her real name on our first ‘date’ without me asking (and I know it was a real real name as it's on her resume). I guess in the end it’s my business and I get to make the rules about what I ask and don’t, but I don’t want to be a jerk about this either and make offensive requests. This is new ground for me as I have never quite given new meaning to the phrase ‘headhunter’ as I am here. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
-- Modified on 1/31/2015 10:50:49 AM
How about where you don't want to,hire the provider for your business. But you do want to "hire" the provider because see her a lot, and wanna kinda retain her, because you see her regular and dot want to think about the money all the time?
And can pay her LLC legit, instead of $$ in the envelope?
Or am I asking for trouble?
I love this idea, as a role play thing. Not for real.
You get to spank or fuck or get blown by your subordinate at work. Wheeeeee! It's just like redporntubebrobangwhatever.
Except really, when you hire someone, you have to follow a bunch of laws. These include not creating a "hostile work environment" and definitely not getting BBBJs behind your desk, which is gonna come up whether you want it to or not.
Look, guy... This is just a bad idea. The only reason you're doing it is you're way into her, which you shouldn't be anyway. At least avoid paying a lawyer to settle a lawsuit for sexual harassment.
If I was my lawyer I'd be saying the same thing. Thing is, lawyers deal with the .001% of the situations that go bad until they ultimately live in a world where all they see are the potential downside of everything; not the situations that work out, as no one ever goes to see a lawyer when things are fine. But someone has to ring the warning bell and lo and behold sometimes lawyers are right. And yet, many times they're not and life goes on.
I'm risk averse to a point but in the right situation I will take one I have assessed and feel good about. I could be wrong, but I think the employment scenario you suggest is very unlikely to unfold because of what I know about the totality of the circumstances.
I like the way you think in terms of fantasies too, but hey if I wanted this fantasy I could have brought her to my office a year or two ago and paid for it. That's not one I need nor do I want as my desk is too filled with papers. Am I into her? Undoubtedly. Should I be? I don't know, it seems to have worked so far,as we both know that 'into' means something far different to us than to two hopeless romantics.
But seriously, thank you for raising this as you have really forced me to come to terms with this issue once and for all - hopefully!
With the behavior of many women in the workplace, I can certainly understand the trepidation voiced by many of the men in this thread concerning your prospective hire. However, if you have known this woman long enough, I think you, as a successful businessman can judge as to whether or not she would be a good and loyal candidate. One would hope she will find extreme value in your offer, and her gratitude would be foremost in her conduct within your enterprise. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that she considers you a good friend as much as you obviously regard her. I hope this works out. Sounds like she is a very lucky lady!
Keep personal and professional life separate from hobby life. Bad idea, very bad idea.