What woman with a "modicum of self-respect" would debase herself to see him in the first place?
and for him to find any of this so called self respect of his own, he would need to be looking with an electron microscope. It's funny how the guys are always talking about the woman's self esteem issue, he is a prime example of how that works both ways.
Going a little off topic of wives who don't want sex, let's go back a few steps.
Remember when you were a youngster and wondered why most girls acted so uninterested in sex?
Did you know that one of the worst feelings as a woman is falling in love with a guy who you believes feels the same way. But once you finally trust him enough to have sex, he immediatey stops calling. I rarely hear this brought up on this board and would like to hear your perspective on this! It's about as traumatizing to a girl as not being able to get laid is to a young guy
I'm just bringing up the topic! I've heard a lot of guys complain about why it takes so long to have sex with a civie, but I don't think they know the womans perspective
It appears that I haven't had the same bad luck with civvies that many/most of the other guys here have had. I have to confess that I almost always know whether a civvie chick likes me enough to fuck me after the first date or two at the longest, and while sometimes it might take an additional date or two before she "gives it up" I have rarely been "strung along" by any civvie chicks in my life.
Maybe it's because I am only interested in women who actually "Like" sex, and that even the term "giving it up" is an improper one in most cases as it implies that she is giving up something she doesn't want to, where in reality sex should be a mutual decision where both parties actually want to be intimate. and I guess women that don't like sex probably don't see me as a very good long term investment and pass through my life so quickly as to barely merit a foot note. lol
I've found the lighter my kiss at her door the first time out, the better my chance at her hoping I'll call for a second date.
Most civilian women, if they're worth the pursuit, will be turned off if a guy tries for sex on the first or second date, especially if she's gorgeous .
Many women will have a suspicion the guy she is dating must be Homosexual if he doesn't go for her booty or at least grope her bosoms by the third date.
I don't care what she believes, the longer she's guessing the better she plays the game, and the less inhibited she'll be on our fifth date, tenth date if she's a stunning beauty .
Most guys who complain a lot about women never figure things out on their own.
Posted By: Vagazzle
I'm just bringing up the topic! I've heard a lot of guys complain about why it takes so long to have sex with a civie, but I don't think they know the womans perspective
as a woman who loves women I can tell you that none of the girls I dated were shy about having or asking for sex. But then again none of us were "falling in love" - we were all just looking for some action. If any of the gals I dated would have started using the "love" word, I don't think that I would have called her back either! The last thing anyone wants is to feel trapped and thereby obligated to call someone, especially if that someone starts looking for things (like commitment) that others are not yet ready for.
Remember when you were a youngster and wondered why most girls acted so uninterested in sex?
No, I don't remember any girls who didn't act uninterested in sex, as a matter of fact all the girls I knew were always interested in sex all the time.
Not guys that pick up bottles and save bottles they get with food stamps. polygamy or pearl marriage is for the woman who like the cow / bull effect.
Posted By: Vagazzle
Going a little off topic of wives who don't want sex, let's go back a few steps.
Remember when you were a youngster and wondered why most girls acted so uninterested in sex?
Did you know that one of the worst feelings as a woman is falling in love with a guy who you believes feels the same way. But once you finally trust him enough to have sex, he immediatey stops calling. I rarely hear this brought up on this board and would like to hear your perspective on this! It's about as traumatizing to a girl as not being able to get laid is to a young guy!
When talking about spouses, we're talking about people making the ultimate commitment to each other. For life. Better or worse. Til death do we go our separate ways.. Etc. etc. etc. If you are suggesting that women may not want sex due to trauma at an early age, that is not something I could competently debate and will accept what you say 100%. But chances are in this day and age spouses had already gotten past that stage by having sex before marriage and the man (and i'll use man only because it was in your example as obviously there are same sex spouses too) then committing to her for life (the eternal call back)... or so it seemed.
I think a more common scenario has been that premarital sex flourished while post marital sex perished. The reasons are vast and it undoubtedly takes two to fuck up a marriage so as much as I fall into the camp of having endured a sexless marriage I do not shift all the responsibility to my wife. If you asked each of us the reason why it happened you'd surely get different answers. But the fact remains that the marriage is dead unless one wants to carry on as a partnership in the interest of what might pass to some as stability - financial, for kids, or whatever.
But sex was and is considered such an important part of marriage that back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and there was a need for grounds for a divorce, something called constructive abandonment existed in a lot of places where if a spouse refused sex for a year or more that was grounds for divorce - period. So ironically, our lawmakers have acknowledged that for a marriage to survive there needs to be a healthy sexual relationship - and if there is not one between the spouses, then a healthy sexual relationship with a provider can fill that need and restore that sense of what passes for stability to an otherwise unstable marriage. Thus, sex with providers can be the linchpin of family values and thus is a public service and ought to be recognized as such rather than forced underground. But of course take these comments with a grain of salt as one of my wife's main criticisms is that I can rationalize anything lol. And while she would not have liked this particular rationalization, I really am pretty fond of it lol.
Posted By: Vagazzle
Going a little off topic of wives who don't want sex, let's go back a few steps.
Remember when you were a youngster and wondered why most girls acted so uninterested in sex?
Did you know that one of the worst feelings as a woman is falling in love with a guy who you believes feels the same way. But once you finally trust him enough to have sex, he immediatey stops calling. I rarely hear this brought up on this board and would like to hear your perspective on this! It's about as traumatizing to a girl as not being able to get laid is to a young guy!
and then admits that "of course it was self serving bullshit, what did you expect from a whore mongering pig?"
My situation was a bit different from most, I more or less cut my wife off from sex as I quit finding her attractive, not the other way around. IMO, I did the right thing by her and divorced her, allowing both her and I to reclaim our freedom, and not force each other to live in a sexless marriage. My solution was not the same one that everybody in my situation would have chosen, but the last twenty something years of my life have been great, and I hope so have hers.
I wasn't talking about married sex. I was talking about single sex. Is there anyone under age 100 here?
Posted By: Joe Christmas
When talking about spouses, we're talking about people making the ultimate commitment to each other. For life. Better or worse. Til death do we go our separate ways.. Etc. etc. etc. If you are suggesting that women may not want sex due to trauma at an early age, that is not something I could competently debate and will accept what you say 100%. But chances are in this day and age spouses had already gotten past that stage by having sex before marriage and the man (and i'll use man only because it was in your example as obviously there are same sex spouses too) then committing to her for life (the eternal call back)... or so it seemed.
I think a more common scenario has been that premarital sex flourished while post marital sex perished. The reasons are vast and it undoubtedly takes two to fuck up a marriage so as much as I fall into the camp of having endured a sexless marriage I do not shift all the responsibility to my wife. If you asked each of us the reason why it happened you'd surely get different answers. But the fact remains that the marriage is dead unless one wants to carry on as a partnership in the interest of what might pass to some as stability - financial, for kids, or whatever.
But sex was and is considered such an important part of marriage that back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and there was a need for grounds for a divorce, something called constructive abandonment existed in a lot of places where if a spouse refused sex for a year or more that was grounds for divorce - period. So ironically, our lawmakers have acknowledged that for a marriage to survive there needs to be a healthy sexual relationship - and if there is not one between the spouses, then a healthy sexual relationship with a provider can fill that need and restore that sense of what passes for stability to an otherwise unstable marriage. Thus, sex with providers can be the linchpin of family values and thus is a public service and ought to be recognized as such rather than forced underground. But of course take these comments with a grain of salt as one of my wife's main criticisms is that I can rationalize anything lol. And while she would not have liked this particular rationalization, I really am pretty fond of it lol.
Posted By: Vagazzle
Going a little off topic of wives who don't want sex, let's go back a few steps.
Remember when you were a youngster and wondered why most girls acted so uninterested in sex?
Did you know that one of the worst feelings as a woman is falling in love with a guy who you believes feels the same way. But once you finally trust him enough to have sex, he immediatey stops calling. I rarely hear this brought up on this board and would like to hear your perspective on this! It's about as traumatizing to a girl as not being able to get laid is to a young guy!
Keep in mind, most of the guys here are 50 or even 60+ year old married guys whose only knowledge or recollection of single sex goes back to the 1970's lol
I too am well over 50, but I have spent the vast majority of my adult life single, so maybe that gives me a different perspective of single dating.
That said, I still disagree with the premise that most civvie chicks don't want to "put out" That has not been my experience, and it's certainly not the reason I am here. I am here because I am a whore mongering pig who want's to live like a rock star, but was only blessed with average looks even when young, and I certainly don't have enough game to get a different twenty something into my bed every night.
Now am I guilty of "fucking and then not calling"??? I would say in the overwhelming majority of the time, NO. Have I ever fucked a girl and then never called her again? Well yes, guilty as charged, but that is really an anomaly for me and only happens when I either fucked some pig while drunk, (excuse my frankness here) and woke up the next morning with that "Oh what the fuck did I do last night?" feeling. Or when I just felt I was about to get into a very dysfunctional relationship with either a BSC, needy, clingy, or abusive type relationship that would be better off cut off at the beginning, saving us both a lot of heartache in the future.
My best friend who is a gorgeous young civie girl (super hot, fit, smart, has a great career), will go out with guys who wine and dine her for months and when she finally sleeps with them, they go totally cold on her. Occasionally, they DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN.
She gets her heart broken. It's pretty sad but I think this is an immature, young guy thing apparently.
I mean this sincerely and here my rationale. Once upon a time is was commonplace for women to "save themselves" for weeks, months, or even years before having sex with a guy, and back then sex was supposed to lead somewhere, namely marriage.
Fast forward to the 21 century era of instant gratification, I suggest that by making these guys wait, she is "mystifying" sex and creating unrealistic expectation on the part of her suitors. I think it's possible that the build up is so much, and the anticipation so high, that the reality of actually having sex can't compete with the fantasy of what is supposed to be some magical moment that turns out to be "just sex"
I think she may be setting these guys up for a let down as we all know that reality doesn't have a prayer of competing with fantasy. If maybe she would get the sex part out of the way before investing so much time on the part of both parties, there won't be this feeling of betrayal on her part or disappointment on the part of the guys she is dating?
For the record, I would never wine and dine a woman for months in the hopes of "finally" getting into her pants. Either it comes naturally, I dump her well before months go by, or I put her into the category of "just friends" the type of female friend where I schedule a session with a hooker right before or right after our "real" date, so I know I will still be getting laid that night. lol
When a woman withholds sex in order to get something she wants, she is using sex as a weapon. In this case, it seems like the friend is trying to trade sex for commitment. The longer that goes on, the greater the chance that resentment will build in the guy.
Think about it... guy and gal like each other. Well enough to spend "months" dating. That is a level of commitment in and of itself! However, she denies sex in order to "test" his commitment, rather than share sex as a means of building greater intimacy and commitment in the relationship. Is that what life will be like with this woman?
Sex is an investment in a relationship. If used as a weapon, it becomes merely a reward or trophy.
If you keep talking like this, I am going to have to remove you from the BSU contenders list. lol
and to add what you said about sex becoming either a reward or trophy. The shelf life of sex as an enticement for commitment seems to be a rather short one. and the longer one waits, the less likely one is going to think it was worth the wait after finally "scoring".
My best friend who is a gorgeous young civie girl (super hot, fit, smart, has a great career), will go out with guys who wine and dine her for months and when she finally sleeps with them, they go totally cold on her. Occasionally, they DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN.
She gets her heart broken. It's pretty sad but I think this is an immature, young guy thing apparently.
In 2015, when you are a SINGLE heterosexual woman, dating SINGLE heterosexual men, in their 20s or 30s, a lot of times you go out on several dates and then sex starts entering the equation.
As a woman, it is a BIG FEAR that once you have sex with a single guy who you like, and seemingly likes you too, that he will lose interest immediately. This happens to single girls! This is what guys do sometimes. Sometimes guys are jerks-- not victims that I keep hearing about.
Can anyone relate to this at all or maybe the readers here came up in a different generation than I.
The closest thing you will find here to what you are looking for would be Tiddles, but there is so much estrogen running through his blood and he has been so thoroughly feminized by being raised in an "all female family" that his opinion hardly speaks for other men of his generation.
But yes, sometimes guys are jerks. That is hardly a new phenomenon. If you are hearing that guys are "victims" your perspective might be skewed a bit by listening to a bunch of unhappy johns that love to bitch about their unhappy sex lives. I am certainly no victim of civvie chicks, but neither am I a villain who seduces and dumps civvie chicks either. That's what the hobby is for. lol
The closest thing you will find here to what you are looking for would be Tiddles, but there is so much estrogen running through his blood and he has been so thoroughly feminized by being raised in an "all female family" that his opinion hardly speaks for other men of his generation.
But yes, sometimes guys are jerks. That is hardly a new phenomenon. If you are hearing that guys are "victims" your perspective might be skewed a bit by listening to a bunch of unhappy johns that love to bitch about their unhappy sex lives. I am certainly no victim of civvie chicks, but neither am I a villain who seduces and dumps civvie chicks either. That's what the hobby is for. lol
Just don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing that all are, and don't let fear ruin your enjoyment of life.
There is no person on this planet who hasn't been a jerk, made mistakes, or chosen poorly at times. Just as there is no one who hasn't experienced heartache. It's part of being human, and we've all shared the same feelings, no matter the generation.
The only thing you can do is pick yourself up and move forward... a little better equipped for success each time.
Try to consider the possibility that while sex must be a part of a loving relationship, it is not a guarantee of a loving relationship. Similarly, sex may be part of love, but it is not love in and of itself... it is an act that can happen with lust, friendship, empathy, power, greed; so many paths to that end. In other words, don't give sex so much power in your definition of relationships, nor use it as a device to gain power in them
It happens both ways. In the pre-sex part of dating, everyone is just displaying the best part of themselves and I think people get carried away by their fantasies of what-could-be along with their hormonal desires. Then the sex finally happens and it's somewhere along the spectrum of awesome-to-eh-to-awful. And when they wake up in the morning they're able to reevaluate the relationship with a clear mind.
Yes, it's true - often, guys are really just angling to get in your pants. Everyone should just have sex first, and if it's worth coming back for, then you may have the foundation for pursuing an emotional relationship (or maybe I've been here too long and P4P has scrambled my brain). But I get it, as a woman, in the broader society you're gonna get slut-shamed for going about it that way.
I can totally relate to this. Being single, I date a lot in my personal life. In NYC there is no end to both Indian and Non-Indian men who appreciate Indian women and so I end up going on a lot of fun dates in an attempt to meet "my beloved". In the past I have experienced times where I got caught up in the moment, did something physical a little sooner than my intuition instructed me to do with a man and he disappeared soon after. After much confusion, sadness and heartache I have learned some valuable lessons in dating and intimacy. In my personal life I've learned to give the man some more time and space to chase me..I find that men often value that which they have to work just a little hard to attain.
As a provider what the above means for me is that I actually get to let loose and express my sensuality and sexuality with a lot more freedom and virtually no emotional fear with the men I see as clients. The best sexual experiences for me are with clients as I do not have to worry about if the guy is going to call me tomorrow, if I should slow down, or what judgements a man is making about me. This frees up my headspace to just enjoy my sexual beast and enjoy the erotic animal deep in my body that longs to come out and play.
I think that dating can be tricky and I'm just grateful that I enjoy my work as a Courtesan since I get to have an outlet to unleash my pent up desires and make a fantastic living while providing a really valuable service in the world.
For being able to relate. We are in the same generation. Yes, it's a dilemma. If you let the guy court you and chase you and finally have sex, he may immediately dump you since the chase is over.
But if you have sex right away to take the pressure off, and see his true colors, as some of the guys have suggested, he thinks you're a slut and may not want to date you after that.
Hot young ladies put SO much pressure on me to have sex that it's just not fair... and then sometimes don't even send me flowers the next day. I'M NOT A MACHINE!
The thing is, there's not so much a sense of conquest or having to have sex with her. Sometimes it just goes that way. By the time I'd get tired of her, no longer found her that attractive, or had my eye on someone else, by that time we were connected enough that there was a "relationship." A relationship I wanted to get out of.
The worse thing is when you fall in love with someone else, have an affair, then lose her and go back to the unsatisfactory relationship. I suppose you could spend the rest of your life longing for the one that got away and live with an aversion to being intimate with the first one. Probably some marriages are like that. Looking at it that way, the woman gets the short end of the stick, but it would lead to an unhappy life for both of them.
Anybody who ever felt they had to get out of an established pair bond knows that feeling. Or maybe not. Maybe a lot of guys can get it up no matter what and just go through the motions to keep the lady convinced that he still cares. I can only speak for myself. Without chemistry I don't give a damn. And if there's stronger chemistry with someone else who you can't be with, then that obligatory sex can be really distasteful.
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