Say you got into an argument about the influence of the surrealism movement on today's advertising design, both SM and mainstream. I would expect her response to go like, "Yeah, I fucked him. He's okay."  

OTOH, if the spat was about your showing up six minutes before the appointment start time instead of sitting in your car in 20 below weather and waiting, and you and her really got heated, she might not respond to the request for a reference.

And if the spat was over whether or not her dog should be allowed to lie on the bed and growl all through the BJ, look out! We can only imagine the fallout from that!

You didn't link your previous post so I'm not sure what the spat was about.  

A referral is given not an obligation. If you had a spat, of any kind, I'd assume she wouldn't give one.  

Sometimes, at the beginning of the journey, you may need to see someone that might not be your first choice to get that referral. You could also signup for something like P411, that might make it easier though some ladies still want more information. After you get a few okays, you can pretty much "shop" anywhere, most ladies/agencies will take P411 okays as a referral or contact those providers directly.  

And yeah, I still maintain that that's the case.  

I'll break it down for you. A reference involves three people: the client (C), the provider he's already seen (P1), and the provider he wants to see (P2). For P2, a reference benefits her since it gives her that extra assurance. For C, a positive reference means a chance to see P2. In terms of pure self-interest, there is little to no benefit for P1. By providing that reference, P1 is doing them both a favor. She's taking time (minimal as it may be) out of her day to vouch for a guy who may not even be a repeat customer. Again, no real benefit for her, so yeah...it's a courtesy.  

Personally, I don't put a whole lot of stock into references, as every lady has a different idea of what makes a good/safe client. Furthermore, a guy may behave like an angel with one provider, only to pull some serious douchebaggery on the next one.  

That said, I'll always give a reference because it's the nice thing to do and I truly don't mind firing off a quick email to vouch for someone. But if I were to wake up tomorrow morning and say "fuck this, I'm not giving references ever again," that'd be my prerogative. Like I said, it's a courtesy, not an obligation.

Perhaps some rely on them more than others, but without them (including forms such as the "okays" on P411) I can't imagine how this would work.  It would certainly be a MUCH smaller world, comprised of the most rigorous screening ladies and only clents willing to give up personal info to each lady (yes, I'm ignoring the lowest end ladies who do no screening at all).

So sure, they can be labeled as a "courtesy", but lots of helpful things are.  Guys leaving reviews are doing a courtesy - not required.  Guys NOT leaving a review (if the lady requests he not, for whatever reason), are doing a courtesy to her, as after a date we can certainly review if we please.

Also, think about this, if 75% or 90% of the ladies never gave references - how would that affect the efficiency of this ecosystem?  Well, let's just say things would suck.  While on the otherhand it really doesn't matter much if the vast majority of guys don't leave reviews (as is the case).  So all "courtesies" are not equal in their impact if not provided.  So be nice ladies and give references (almost sounds like a PSA)

First of all, I'm not giving out any personal information just to get a session. Secondly, I'm one of the good guys. Clean, safe, sane, dependable, math savvy, and seriously want to play. My sole means of progressing from lady to lady, and back again, is by word of mouth, or keyboard. Therefore, a reference becomes more than just a courtesy for me. It is a necessity, almost mandatory. Should a lady not take my request to reference as seriously as I've taken my session, I'm going to wonder about her connectivity. Of course, a lack of connectivity isn't conducive to any type of continuing relationship. Ladies, this is a business you're running. Within the hierarchy of all the great businesses, is good customer service simply a courtesy, or is it mandatory?  

That being said, I don't take my requests for references lightly. I do understand that it's you who is not getting the party....the money. So whenever possible, I try to repay the 'courtesy' with a session. Now that might not happen for awhile depending on many factors, but trust me, I do remember the ladies who help me out. Being a dependable gentleman, I often get requests from other gentlemen on recommendations. Now who am I going to recommend, a connective lady, or a non connective lady? And lastly, since I'm a participant on these boards, a lady who has extended me a kindness, might very well receive a shout out right here. Once again, you can trust that when I see a forum shout out from another gentleman on any given lady, I sit up and take notice. In many instances, especially from gentlemen with whom I have commonalities, that's as good as a review.  

However, the one thing I don't do is ask for a reference from a lady with whom I've had a falling out. That's not good etiquette. If she were to extend me that favor in some type of emergency, that would be a courtesy.

So I am just gonna list them here, so many posts I am not sure I remember all the names.

1.  Whoever emailed you asking you to change your review score is....well, let's just say that shocked me.  I am sure she is a lovely provider.  I just think that is a little out of left field, you know?  

2.  Referrals are a big deal - I am very referral friendly to other providers.  And are truly appreciative of those who return the favor to me.  However, to clients complaining about it - don't you all have a reviewers only board?  And back channels?  And the ability to review us on here?  My recommendation is that you try to be a client we enjoy seeing.  Polite, non-smelly, respectful of limitations, not a jerk, ect.  It's a red flag if you are worried you will get a bad referral.  A big waving red flag.  

3.  It is a courtesy to you.  Although I am referral friendly for the safety of the provider community, it is not mandatory of other ladies.   But life is full of choices, and if you choose to use referrals as verification it would make sense that you see ladies who are referral friendly to others.  And see #2 again.  

4.  Life is about choices on how we wish to pursue things.  It's not a hard concept.  Don't want to deal with referrals?  See providers who don't require them and use verification services or traditional screening.  It should be super easy from their site what you need to provide to see them.  

SideNote:  I smile and giggle every time I see someone write how he will NEVER EVER EVER GIVE A PROVIDER HIS PERSONAL INFO, DANGIT!  NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER!  It is so defiant sounding every time, like a little boy stomping his foot.  And then they complain a lady won't see them due to it.  Like the provider is going to lose sleep over it.    She sets her own safety rules, just like you do!  No harm, no foul