I wouldn't do a thing. lol
First off, I would probably forget it five minutes later, or even if I did remember it. I call people in this business (or any other walk of life for that matter) whatever they want to be called. If a woman prefers Bambi over Sarah, I will call her Bambi. I just don't see what is the big deal.
Guys ask me my real name with a "So you think I'm one of the crazy ones, huh?" when I say no. They ask personal questions. I try to dodge them. Then I go too far in one area and some get all freaked out because it ruins their fantasy.
The balance is tough. If you want the truth, you will be disappointed that if we were the wife with all the truth hanging out , we would be just like a wife. You don't want to crack the ice on a pond if you have to walk across that pond. But you crack the ice and walk across anyway, and stay away from that pond , warn others to stay away, because you fell in.
You are dealing with women. If you don't want to break the fantasy don't loosen the cage. You want to know so much, but when you find things out you start to feel the poison you are fleeing. Reality. Marriage. Drama. Relationship. Need.
If a woman says no to be getting too personal, let her do that. She knows herself and just wants to do her job. Maybe she doesn't want you to feel like she is getting too attached so you don't flee. And maybe she doesn't want to mislead you by leading you down too real of a fantasy.
Every friendship client/provider relationship takes on it's own trail. These are things to think about. The why's are not because she thinks this or that about you. But when you respond like that, you put her in an awkward situation of guilt. She can't prove to you what she thinks of you, and you have left her with no other option but reveal her privacy just to comfort you.
You may think you aren't manipulating, but explore. Maybe you really are. In the end, you hurt yourself, because it is hard. Very hard. To continue with a perfect fantasy when you start opening the door to the truth.
And when they volunteer an aspect of themselves, like that they play a violin or raise zebras, I hardly think of that as "personal" information.
… if you mention that violin-playing or zebra-raising in a TER review, the administrators are likely to deny publication.
Personal information? I suppose so —but how are details such as this likely to reveal someone's secret identity, which is supposedly the issue.
As someone once said, WTF?
Peace 'n' luv, you all.
A lack of experience and performance anxiety adds to the problem. You do read the posts here of very sincere, yet odd gents right? Surely this can't come as a shock to you.
On our end, in my experience, I have had to deal with girls with an obvious drug problem or some neurotic disorder. I certainly wouldn't say that's the norm, but it's out there on the girls side of p4p.
Getting put in a awkward position is a part of doing business and a part of life. Get used to it. When you are meeting total strangers and bumping uglies for big coin, there are certain downsides. You are mentioning one of many.
Many johns here are paying for the perfect fantasy but really can't deal with it, confuse her friendliness and GFE menu with her being "into him" and so on.
My problem isn't that the girls are offended or made awkward about personal issues I ask THEM about, it's girls feeling all to free to share the most personal shit WITHOUT me asking, hitting me up for a loan or trashing a competitor.
It's all just a part of p4p and it will continue forever. Either see higher end guys and screen better, learn to live with it or find another line of work.
Do you really think people will change by reading your thread? Lol. Not likely honey
There are a lot of things worth saying that take years to understand. Even if things improve just a little bit it's worth saying. Just understanding helps people have more peace. It helps them chill and just have fun. It won't change. It will get worse. I still wanted to talk about it LOL
Your reply is perfect. I think it will help both providers and Johns reading at least understand there are common weaknesses. It helps keep things in perspective. Thank you boo boo. Muah
Dear Master of the obvious:
I just wanted to ask if you had to give a psychological profile of the men who usually contact you? Also during the course of your verification process are you starting to ask question with respect to regularity of visits and if they contact you for other reasons that are not relevant to business? The aforementioned questions are things that you should be inquiring when going through verification with fellow providers. Also another question is do your guys compartmentalize and are they able to discern the difference between what is real and what is not? Use these guidelines
when going through your verification process and look for providers that they have seen multiple times to ask the aforementioned questions.
-- Modified on 1/12/2015 4:39:22 AM
There's a couple of providers I really love. I don't love the real person, as I don't know her and don't want to. For all I know her real name is Hilda Schumanfreude and she's a dreadful bitch. When I'm with her alter ego--Suzie Sucksalot--I'm the happiest guy in the world, and I love her. Why screw that up?
The only time I want the truth--but never get it--is when I get rescheduled for what seems clearly to me a chance for her to work in another guy. Or when I get canceled at the last minute, when all of my travel arrangements are made, hotel is paid for, etc. I think should have a reasonable explanation as to why I have to sit in my car for two hours because of being rescheduled, or have to pay for a hotel I won't be using (or, worse, be at the hotel after driving all day the day before, and then getting canceled two hours before we were to meet)
Women tell me their real name, give me their private number, ask me if I'm married...I just go with it and leave it at that.
and how ladies can deal with so many different guys and keep things balanced.
In an alternate universe, if the tables were flipped and I was servicing ladies for pay - yes, a VERY alternate universe - I really have no clue how I'd balance trying to be real, offer good services, yet maintain correct boundaries with so many highly varying maturity levels (and game players too).
Even though I really like being with "real" ladies, I define this as them bringing their real personalities, not as them sharing personal info that crosses boundaries. The problem is, we all have different needs in life - but some people don't understand this hobby is NOT a one stop shop, that handles emotional needs in addition to a little physical fun. Not a surprise I guess, because certainly different paths have lead us all here, but that really does seem like it could be draining.
fascinating (yawn) lives than hear about others.
I know that is the case with me, and kudos to you ladies for putting up with it without dropping off to sleep on me.
8o)
Be a good GFE and of course he'll want to know more, how can you not be intimate without the intimacy, then it's just scripted. I do allow some guys to get closer but it is a part of the fantasy they want to explore. Some aspects of the real J are available OTC and hooker Jaye is what they get in an appointment. Hooker Jaye keeps the convo light in session, if he opens up well I let him vent, and keep my whore mouth occupied with kissing or a BJ or something not talking!!! I don't volunteer more of myself that leaves me too vulnerable, I do allow open communication OTC via cell phone, after we meet, but I make it clear, if you call me in the middle of the day, I am NOT going to be sitting around eating bon bons with a dildo up my pussy!!! Lol! The real J is probably on the way to the gym, picking up my kid, or in Costco. Lol! The few that take the opportunity to contact me OTC get the balance and get the hobby and have no issue with the fantasy v. real. Experienced hobbyist are the clients I like, I stay away from newbies since they don't get it yet.
I'm with you, Jaye. Looks like I'm in the minority here, but I for one could give a shit less about the fantasy. A cool lady is a cool lady, and I love getting to know the ladies I see. I love the intimacy, and I'm cool with anything she wants to share, and willingly share things about myself if she shows an interest. My regular provider and I talk about everything; ex's, clients, providers, the hobby, family, friends, politics, religion, current events, you name it. And it hasn't fucked up anything. We've been seeing each other for a year and a half now, we always have a great time together, and I always look forward to seeing and/or talking to her again to find out what's new in her life. I would often find myself reading her reviews and saying to myself, "she's not like that with me", and I think that's pretty cool. When we're together, she doesn't have to be "on". No Oscar-worthy performances required. She can just be herself, and that's fine with me. I like who she is. I don't need to be bullshitted. I take this same approach with all the ladies I've seen. Some are pretty open with me, others are a little more reserved and business like. I just go with the flow. However things naturally progress. I just prefer the ladies be genuine. A little sincerity goes a long ways with me. Just my 2c ~~~~Rob
May be you can’t handle such an experience, may be you don’t how, may be you immature and never able to carry on relationship with anyone.
Different issue.
I have had a guy purposefully get the real name and use it against me because I didn't fall in love. You never know who can and can't. When you are dealing with a hundred plus men in a year, determining who can and cannot handle fantasy vs P4P is impossible. Over time, I can see why some girls here have turned into real professionals. Some can't handle the balance, and I'm not only talking about the boys here.
I assume that guys would have a better time not knowing what they think they want to know, because they may find out they didn't want to know. I assume some girls cannot handle the balance either, and in order to do their jobs well, they have to make up a fake story to dodge the questions. Then the story changes to girls getting teased for lying, or challenged in her expertise outside of this field.
My favorite story is of a provider who tells guys that this is all she does. Now that's a concept LOL
I wouldn't do a thing. lol
First off, I would probably forget it five minutes later, or even if I did remember it. I call people in this business (or any other walk of life for that matter) whatever they want to be called. If a woman prefers Bambi over Sarah, I will call her Bambi. I just don't see what is the big deal.
... he was just way too excited about it. *sighs* Thought he had an 'in' no on else did lol.
That way you could both be excited. lol
Yes, some guys really get way too wrapped up in the "fantasy" I guess for the price of an hour session they get jerk off material for weeks.
I've had one or all of these happen with three different providers now: I'll be given the cell phone number, the address of an apartment (rather than a hotel), or some other thing that I'm asked to be discrete about. I'm told that nobody else knows this.
It doesn't take much reading of the provider's review to realize that every guy has this secret, discrete info.
I'm surprised that I'm not told she needs to transfer $500,000,000 from the estate of her late husband (former king of Nerumbia) into a bank account in the US, and will pay me 10% if I can assist
What's your phone number? Where do you work? Are you married? Will you send me a picture of yourself? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have any kids? Those are questions I've been asked before the session even happened. My stellar references, who just happen to be well known, and well respected ladies in the profession, will tell you I'm safe, clean, honest, and extremely dependable. Why do you need to get personal, and know anything else?
I can't even begin to tell you the questions I've been asked, and the things I've been told after the sessions happened. I know many real names. I've been asked to spend the night. I've been asked to otc breakfast, lunch, and dinners. I've been asked to develop real life relationships. I've been told that I'm the only one she's ever done that with. I've been written tens of thousands of otc emails from ladies. I've had sessions that didn't happen because the ladies spent the time that I paid for, talking about, and or crying about aspects of their own lives. One lady even shows me pictures of her and her new boyfriends. The list goes on and on.
So the fact of the matter is, I don't want to get so personal. But sometimes things just happen. It's the nature of the intimacy beast. Part of your job, and it takes great skill, is to strike a perfect balance between you and your gentlemen. Especially the gentlemen with whom you click. Part of my job is to do the same with my ladies. Honest communication is the key. If things get awkward, say so. The experienced ladies have heard it all, and have one liners for every question imaginable. If you're not comfortable with honesty, use your one liners
If a provider does not want a lot of personal questions.
Then don't ask so many personal questions yourself with screening etc.
So if you have a problem with personal questions.
Just let the hobbyist know up front and move on with the date
Or, they might be struggling to come up with the right thing to say. As a shy person myself, I can relate. I often say the wrong thing, or say something dumb, or just totally stick my foot in my mouth, and people have generally been forgiving to me (to my face, anyway).
I have a fake real name (altho some clients know my real one) and will generally come up with a socially polite little tidbit to answer questions that might be a little on the nosy side. That tidbit might be a half-truth, it might have nothing to do with the truth...but, it fits in with the persona I project, and the general 'feel' of what the other person is looking for.
For instance, if a dude asks me why I do a certain form of exercise, I'll say 'Well, I always used to love xx ever since I was a young girl. Then one day, a friend dragged me to a class. It was taught by XX and had these special features. I was hooked and never looked back. I just love the feeling I get from XX and really look forward to my sessions.' I won't say, 'Well, if I get fat I'll have no business as an escort. Those classes burn 1000 calories each!!! If I don't stay thin, I won't make any money, I'll get thrown out of my place, and I might have to shower in the bus station sink!!' Even though that might be (slightly) more true than my first polite answer, lol.
The truth is complicated. It doesn't always belong in a friendly conversation, and isn't always what the other person wants/needs to hear. It isn't always the other person's business. But there's no reason to feel pressure to share information you aren't comfortable sharing. Just figure out little ways to deal w/it that don't make you or the other person feel uncomfortable
Even if you get fat, there is a huge market for "fat broads"
I am happy to hear that you put out the extra effort to stay in shape though. If I can quit drinking beer, and force my lazy ass into the gym, even though my livelihood hardly is dependent on being in shape, it's nice to hear that at least some hookers take enough pride in their appearance to do the same.
Just wait until you get old. Once upon a time (it seems like decades ago) I used to hit the gym because it felt good to get the blood flowing. Now I hit the gym because if I don't, I will rapidly turn into a big tub of lard and mongering won't be a choice, but a necessity. lol
A small-to-medium tub of lard is about the best you're capable of attaining.
I do enjoy working out. But with this job, I have to be almost too diligent, as if I were a serious athlete. I go every day, whereas if I wasn't so concerned w/my photos and ratings, etc., I'd probably go less frequently. Three days per week vs. 6-7.
I am not blessed with a body that goes 'curvy' and soft with a few extra pounds, I just look like a refrigerator. Not sexy, but I suppose I could get $100/hr. LOL.
-- Modified on 1/12/2015 4:36:41 PM
… is the new "hobbying."
That would actually turn me on!
I think a little personal interest and connection makes for a more intimate and hotter session.