I have either went to dinner with most of them, or have seen them in a restaurant.  On a related note, I once split a check for dinner with the other 2 couples that went with me, and we told the waiter that we wanted to split the total check 3 ways.  He agreed.  After we were done eating, and gave him the 3 cards, we got the bill back (after 30 minutes I might add), ad noticed that some of us only had 2/3's of a dinner, and 1/3 of an appetizer we never ate.  I never have seen a waiter take the thirds literally, but he did.  It took 2 other staff members and the Manager to re-do the check.  I still laugh to this day when splitting checks.

He can't be that bad... Can he?

My friends laugh it off and when they do it to each other they call it "doing a Pangloss."    

One that really annoys me is the Freeloader when he/she is the one who suggests splitting the check.   That reminds me of when I began going out with my now W, we would go out to dinner with my now brother-in-law and sister-in-law.   At the time, I was barely scraping by and they would order soups, appetizers, bottles of wine, expensive entrees and desserts and the now brother-in-law would always say "let's split the check."   It was not malicious, he was simply not thinking but by the third or fourth time going out, I finally said to myself, fuck it, I cannot afford it anyway, I might as well order expensive plates too

The Sad Solo Diner
Man, you didn’t even bring a book? At least pretend to look at something on your phone! I’m getting anxiety for you.

Although don't have anxiety for me and I'm not at all sad, as I'm surfing the net on my phone and sipping good Bourbon until the food arrives and then I'm doing exactly what I came to the restaurant to do, eat my food.

And 7 out of 10 times I'm surfing the internet on my phone at a restaurant, I'm on TER.

Unless I'm at a business dinner with colleagues, having dinner at a restaurant is not a social event for me. I'm there for a specific event, which is to feed my face.

and I'm a little surprised, figured I'd hit at least one. I'm sure I do something annoying, it's just not on this list.

I loudly proclaim that I eat Veal BECAUSE of the way it's raised.
Oh, and the "pro-shoot" pronunciation for prosciutto is the way Sicilians pronounce it.  Northern Italians and Romans don't drop the "o" at the end.

to suffer from noise hypersensitivity.  It is a genuine problem, even if it is one that gets virtually no recognition or protection.  I am unable to go outside at all in the fall without wearing noise cancelling headphones over earplugs (I actually manage to mow my own lawn with a push mower -- obviously only in the wee morning hours -- and clean up the leaves with a rake.  Takes a whole half-hour/week and a few hours in the fall.)  But I never go to a restaurant.  As Noah Cross would say, not worth it, really not worth it.