Sometimes after a session is over I find myself, so happy, high stepping, dancing, smiles up to my ears, fist pumping like I just made a 69 footer putt, loudly yelling yes, yes, then come down to some reality and asked myself WTF did I just paid $$$$$ for that!! and then try to convince myself to find a reasonable justification for what just happened. Have anyone feel that way or it's just me?
I have that feeling very often. It is one the peaks and valleys of this wonderful addiction: anticipation, delightful surprise, intense sexual release, exhilaration, remorse, guilt, promises to self to stop. Then the cycle repeats : anticipation, delightful surprise.......
when I meet a young lady who tells me some of the tragedy of her past I feel just how shallow this endeavor is, paying to use her body for my pleasure when she obviously has emotional wounds that require something entirely different than $$$ and my dick to heal. Or when I meet a woman who seems just like my type for a civvie (intellect, wit, demeanor, personality) then I have regret that I am piddling away time in this hobby instead of more actively seeking out a real relationship (I'm single). This has happened a couple times.
Sometimes a bit of the money regret, but I've mostly adjusted my brain to the cost of this game - so any negative emotions largely center on the human side of things. Overall this hobby has been a big net plus for me, as I've had fun times with some really great ladies, but it's certainly not 100% grins, great Os, and fist pumps.
Most of us have certain good experiences with the hobby (forget about the times you walk out feeling it wasn't worth it or wouldn't have been worth it if you hadn't opted out at first sight) and then have a comedown as it wears off. Here's a little experiment you might try.
Let's say $500 is the donation a woman you saw asked. Put $500 in your wallet, exactly that amount, and start off going out to breakfast. Then, for as long as the money lasts, pay everything in cash. Don't put anything on a credit card. If a utility bill is due, deposit the exact amount of cash into your bank account out of the $500 that will cover the direct debit or your check. Pay cash for gas, groceries, and whatever you consume for kicks during the day--slice of pizza, latte, beer, lotto ticket, whatever. Don't spend extravagantly unless you see something you really want, and maybe even play a little game to see how many days you can make those five benji's last. Make a mental note of all the things you enjoy.
Then, when the $500 is gone, ask yourself very seriously if you garnered more or less pleasure, more or less good times, more or less emotional rewards than if you'd had another session. This isn't a rigged game. It could go either way. But it puts the whole thing in perspective and will set up a starting point on how to think about it.
The whole idea of getting laid is to enjoy it and feel good about it afterwards.
There's also the thing of transferring old-fashioned Catholic Guilt into guilt about squandering money, but...you know how to deal with that.
lol very good point
and certainly realize what $500 or $1000 can buy. However, I never regret spending several hours with a lovely lady--life is too short to look back and play Monday morning quarterback about what might have been (perhaps a better value?). Besides, how does one even go about putting a dollar sign on, or what was that encounter really worth?
Someone on one of these boards once said "the best things in life aren't things". It's like taking the family to Disneyworld for a week and spending 6 grand. A friend of mine once said to me--you just blew six grand and have nothing to show for it. All the while, he is thinking "look at me, I never take wasted vacations and I have a brand new BMW, a ski boat, second house on the lake, etc, etc; and not only that--you had to deal with crowds, long lines, hot weather, crabby and tired kids (and wife)".
I don't regret any of that--life and experiences are what we make of them.
Let's see....You are 68 years old, in the last 6 months you've banged at least 24 of the hottest ladies on the planet and you're complaining about wasting money? Dude, live it up, you ain't got to worry about it much longer!
I have that WFT moment when I do not have the fist pump. When I am excited about getting a woman off and dumping a load inside her tight little twat I never have regrets, for it is a memory that wI'll be with me for a lifetime.
The better the sex, the less I remember. And memories are mostly reconstructions anyway, so do memories of sex really bring people any pleasure?
Maybe it's just me, but the experience is the intense thing, and the memory is just the awareness that it happened.
I'm not looking for memories. I'm happy that there is no need to commit anything to memory. How many other experiences anywhere near as intense do you hope to remember for a lifetime?
And--this refers to something another monger said--do you really think that's what you're going to be concerning yourself with when on your deathbed? I doubt it will mean much to me.
I think it's about something else. For me at least.
a long time.
can you remember how a sexual experience felt from 20 years ago? I can remember what happened but not the physical feeling since it was too long ago but I STILL remember the physical feeling from a few years ago with an escort.
In fact a couple of times in CR, I have actually fucked the same woman two days in a row without even remembering that I had fucked her just the day before until reminded, which can be just a bit embarrassing. lol
Of course I have a very valid excuse, I drink a LOT. lol
It is funny though, I do remember some sexual experiences from years back, but others are forgotten in a matter of days or even hours.
That the experiences you remember were the best, most intense, or whatever, or the mediocre experiences?
And do you remember the EXPERIENCE clearly or the woman? Some women are unforgettable. I'll certainly grant you that.
I was with a woman on Halloween last year, saw her once since under other circumstances, and can hardly wait to book another session. But although the woman herself crosses my mind probably every day, I really couldn't even write a review about exactly what all we did. I remember only that it was a beautiful night.
and that often holds true whether or not I've been drinking. lol
but there really is no cut and fast rule on this for me. I remember vividly some experiences going back decades, other times I actually do forget in just a matter of hours (keep in mind, I sometimes see as many as four or five women in a single day, or at least I used to not all that long ago) and sometimes I just remember the woman but can't recall anything but a blip about what we shared together in the sack.
I honestly cannot tell you even the exact number of women I have seen in the last month, much less remember many details about most of them. I can only imagine how hard it is for the women to remember the guys they see.
So, for me, I DO remember the squirter. And the b&s I didn't walk on because she was so...different. And the one where we fell off the bed trying to roll from CG to MISH. And the one where the lady told me the rash on my but was the image of The Virgin Mary and wanted to call her girlfriend to come over and say a prayer to it. And a few others. But even those memories are sketchy. Drunk or sober or whatever, the better the session, the more I'm there in the moment (as I "remember" it), but the less I remember it.
but there really is no cut and fast rule on this for me. I remember vividly some experiences going back decades, other times I actually do forget in just a matter of hours (keep in mind, I sometimes see as many as four or five women in a single day, or at least I used to not all that long ago) and sometimes I just remember the woman but can't recall anything but a blip about what we shared together in the sack.
I honestly cannot tell you even the exact number of women I have seen in the last month, much less remember many details about most of them. I can only imagine how hard it is for the women to remember the guys they see.
memories are important. Some say writing about it helps relive the experience, if only cerebral; that brain, the erroneous zone.
... it took you this long to post this?
if you haven't figured it out by now... you did all of the justification BEFORE you did the session.
the fact that you are justifying the session AFTER it was over tells me that maybe you didn't enjoy the session as much as you claim.
if there was something else that month I could have used the cash for i.e., other hobbies.
Too, I dont have a "budget" for this hobby. The money I spend on it is primarily other people's money.
First off, I never high step or fist pump. Get a hold of yourself, man...ever see James Bond fist pump? Didn't think so. Second, I don't analyze, I just enjoy. And if it sucks, water under the bridge, write the review to warn my fellow man and move on. Brother if you're this conflicted you might want to take up golf or knitting or something.
Which of the Bond women is your favorite?
-- Modified on 1/4/2015 11:06:58 AM
fuck, I can't decide, I'll take the sampler platter
-- Modified on 1/4/2015 11:17:07 AM
That's a great sampler... But, I'm afraid once I got started, I couldn't quit until I tried them all!
a serious prerequisite to a complete Bond girl tour 
called addiction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My former therapist actually described it to me in the form of a question. Do you feel a sense of elation as you leave the hotel room? Do you feel a sense of depression a few hours later?
Yep and yes to both questions. This is exactly how drug addicts feel immediately and several hours after (right after "ingesting drug of choice" is the greatest feeling - several hours after the high "what have I done").
Ultimately, I blame myself AND Providers for these feelings. They know what they are selling and have absolutely no regard for the aftermath.
I am just a sick sexual puppy (with unresolved childhood sexual issues - needing to subjugate women to positions of submission and sexuality but hey that's me) with access to disposable income which does not help a guy like me.
Already I am planning a session in Chicago which comprises some really sick shit (even for me!!!!). God this shit is sick. And what's crazy is that I want it again and again and again
The fist pumping is the high and the WTF moment is the post high analysis.
The real funny thing about the Hobby is that I actually enjoy the sex AFTER I am done with the Provider. That's the high (i.e, wow I just did "that and this" to a real pretty woman).
Then a couple of hours later as I am at work/home I think was it really worth $$$. But then a few days later I think damn I did "that and this" to a real pretty woman.
So at this point I am pretty sure I can't stop it. So I just try to minimize the activity. Ultimately, as my kids get older and my wife and I have more time for spontaneous sex I will most likely eliminate the hobby altogether.
Maybe or maybe not. I still like the kinky shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If only my wife would allow me to spank her ass, pull her hair and COF. One can only dream - Right
RT
I'm usually starving after a session so a big cheeseburger is my post session ritual. I don't eat while I session for obvious reasons ... I don't like to mix my pleasures. 
hahaha! xo wittle kooky are we?
yes i get like that al the time i cal it a manic episode, lol!
So, I was in this bar and grill and overheard a conversation about some guy or tenant who didn’t come up with his rent money, but spent it on a provider. It got me wondering if he ever came up with his rent after all, or did he get evicted? Did he at least have a good session before he went down on his luck in a flash?
Now I wouldn’t vouch for what he did in lieu of losing housing, but let’s say sex is the most pressing thought on your mind—yes, sexual desire for the opposite is potent! (With a wife or other) If it means making greater sacrifices for what is desired, even living on borrowed money and getting into dept over it, then go for it. Just imagine going to your grave and not getting it at least one more time with a beautiful woman.
Now I borrowed money to do it and never regretted it to this day. Of course I worked extra to pay it back, but what the heck, it was a first, and it was either I did it that night or she was traveling the next day to another state. (But the trick here is to only borrow it once; especially if it’s a first time.) I’ve also researched her before I went, and I didn’t want to pass up the chance. The next time I did it, I had discretionary money to spend.
I dabble in this activity. I’m not an aficionado like some who do it on a regular basis, so I can understand why it becomes a blur, and may also become a blur for providers who have many customers. Anyway, the few times I’ve seen some, it is funny how the memory carries for some time. To me a memory lends weight to “less is more.”
In any event, I do think it’s better to have discretionary money up front, though. I like a previous post by Wickedbrut on how to go about saving for it:
It could be just you...especially if it happens over and over