... Continued
"When I first began working at the mission I worked with a lot of prostitutes and believed strongly that we needed to completely stamp it out. I would have been the first in line voting for more money to enforce the prostitution laws." Amy went immediately into her response as they began to eat. "But that wasn't even remotely realistic. There are about a half million women in the US today working as providers. If you arrested half of them tomorrow and locked them up for a year they'd be replaced within a few weeks - every single one of them." She said. "There's enough demand for it and there are enough people willing to fulfill that demand that you'll never have much impact on it no matter what you do."
"That's quit the fatalistic attitude." Lee interjected with a slight grin. "I never took you for the pessimistic type."
"It's not pessimism," Amy went on. "It's realism. We can fight it all we want. We can spend all the money we want trying to stop it, but we never will." Amy paused. "Tell me about your sex drive." she looked at Lee. "You guys, you either really, really want it ... or need it, ... right?"
This wasn't the first time, and, Lee was quickly becoming aware, wouldn't be the last, that he'd find responding to Amy difficult. "Something like that." He said almost sheepishly, acting like he wasn't really thinking about it. He studied the brick walls of her living room far more intently than he ever would have otherwise.
"Are you ashamed of your sex drive?" Amy asked rather pointedly just as he was taking the final bite of a crepe.
Lee's eye's shot over to Amy before he could think and stop himself. Had she asked what he thought she'd asked? He was suddenly thankful that he hadn't spit his food out all over the table.
"Why are you so uncomfortable talking about it?" she went on. "Or is it just me you are uncomfortable talking about it with?"
Amy had clearly changed dramatically, Lee thought. She'd never in a million years have asked those questions when they were in college. He thought he'd done an adequate job of mental preparation for today, but hadn't expected to have his very manhood challenged like this. Uncomfortable talking about sex? No way, he thought. Certainly not with Amy. "I enjoy it." He finally said and realized that not only was his mouth dry as cotton, but he hadn't exactly conveyed an air of confidence and strength.
Amy started to respond but realized that she'd pushed things a little too far too fast and needed to give Lee a chance to save himself. She acted like she hadn't heard what she had.
Though he'd never considered himself the stud of studs, Lee'd never had performance problems like this before. Years ago he'd dreamed of the day Amy said anything to him about sex. Now she was, and more directly than he could have imagined, and he just wanted to get away. The more he thought about it the more ill at ease he felt.
"Lee." Amy finally said, breaking an uncomfortable silence. "I know how you guys are. You think about sex all day and I know that some of you can't stop thinking about it no matter what you do. And... it's not just sex, but variety. If you could, you'd screw a different chick every hour."
"I'm not quit that bad." Lee said.
"Maybe not, but I bet you're pretty close. How long after you met Linea did you think about sex with her?"
Lee laughed a little. "Was I that obvious?"
"No, actually you were very discreet." Amy grinned. "But I know how you guys are and Linea is really, really cute."
Lee looked down at the floor feeling like a kid who'd been caught peeking into the girls locker room.
"Over the last few years I've talked with a ton of people about sex. Some guys either don't have much of a sex drive or repress it to the extent that they can ignore it. They never have any problems with sexual temptation and a lot of them don't even have a very good understanding of guys who have a strong sex drive. Then there are all you guys that have an almost uncontrollable sex drive. It takes everything you have to keep it in check. You struggle all day every day to focus on your job and other stuff instead of just thinking about sex all the time." Amy paused and realized that she was, consciously or not, projecting Lee into this latter group without really knowing if he was or not. Then again, about 70% of guys are, so in all likelihood she was on the right track she thought. "I'd always thought that you guys just simply needed to control your sex drive." She paused again and looked down at the floor. "What I've learned though is that it's almost impossible for some of you, no matter how hard you try, and that all of the sexual stuff in our society just makes it that much worse. The more I've studied it the more I've realized how out of whack our culture is. It's like we pummel you all day every day with gobs of sexual stimulation and then just expect you to control all of your natural urges."
Lee was amazed at what he was hearing. Not the content exactly, but who it was coming from. He'd certainly never expected that Amy would be giving him a lesson about his own sex drive. Then there was this little part of him that was feeling angry. If she knew all of this, why wouldn't she hop in the sack with him? He knew the answer and didn't disagree with it, but the anger was still there. This conversation, he thought, would be a whole lot easier if she wasn't as cute.
"Even St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas came to that conclusion." Amy continued, knowing that she was making some progress. "Aquinas said that prostitution was 'necessary for an orderly society.' He didn't think it was necessarily good, but that it was necessary. What's kind of amazing is that compared to our society today they had almost no sexual stimulation and yet still considered it necessary. So today we say that we're going to tempt you with sexual stuff all day long, and then say that you can't do anything about it."
Lee didn't know how to respond. He just stared at Amy in disbelief.
"It's almost like saying that we're going to make a law that selling food is illegal. If you can't cook for yourself or find someone to cook for you for free - tough!" she said.
Interesting analogy, Lee thought after what may have been one of the best meals he'd ever had. "Get tired of your own cooking?" Amy added before he could finish his thought. "Tough."
Lee was rarely at a loss for words, but Amy was silencing him like nobody ever had before. "Be careful reading between the lines though." She added with a wry grin just as he was thinking about it.
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Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced or distributed in whole or in part, in any form including electronic, without the expressed written permission of the author
... The final part of Chapter 4 (sorry this was so long 
"Look." She said after a few seconds silence. "I'm not as off my rocker as you're thinking. What we're doing with our current laws isn't working and never will." She paused. "In fact it's hurting. We need a different approach. We need to be rational about it and bring the industry out of the shadows so that we can deal with the real crimes ... like the women and kids who are forced into it against their will, like the jerks who know that they can beat up Beth and rob her because they know she won't go to the cops. Making it illegal doesn't benefit anyone and doesn't reduce it, it only makes life more dangerous for the people who are forced into it or who choose to do it. On the other hand, making it legal or decriminalizing it won't harm anyone. What it will do though, is reduce the ability of pimps to enslave women and it'll make it safer for everyone. And Lee, think about who that is. Four percent of women in the US will work as a provider at some point. Every single one is someone's daughter, or sister, or niece or whatever. And ... some of these, at least those who never get a criminal record, will go on to be teachers, police officers, journalists, sales people, and any other number of things. There are a lot of cons to making it illegal, and no pros. Yet there are nothing but pros to legally allowing it. What we're doing just doesn't make sense." She paused again. "We can't keep sticking our heads in the sand."
Lee didn't necessarily disagree with prostitution, but didn't agree with it either and couldn't believe that there weren't enormous problems to allowing it. However, he also knew Amy well enough to know that she'd likely looked at this thing from every possible viewpoint and then a few more. This wasn't the right time to get into any major arguments. For one he didn't have time, secondly he was feeling a little unsteady after all he'd heard over the past hour, but perhaps most of all, he realized that he needed to do a lot more research before confronting Amy with anything. He was sure to loose any argument he started now. There was one thing though. "How can you sit here and say all of that while at the same time proclaim that you intend to remain a virgin until you're married?" Lee asked, with a strong confidence that quickly began to fade.
"I don't drink either." Amy replied. "And I strongly advise that every single person that comes through the mission give it up as well. Yet, despite all of the horrible harm that's caused by alcohol, there's no way I'd advocate trying prohibition again." She paused. "Now, think about our sex drive compared to alcohol. There is nothing natural in us driving us to drink other than pure desire, yet we were made with an innate need for sex. If we can't keep people from drinking when they simply want too, how will we ever keep people from having sex when they feel a strong natural need for it?" She paused. "I'll be the first one to advise people to wait until they're married. I still think that that's the best option." "But I also know human nature." Amy added quietly as she looked down at the floor.
"Well I guess that tells me what you think about me." Lee replied and stood to leave.
"Lee!" Amy shouted. "Grow up!" she added before she could stop herself.
Lee stopped, but didn't know what to say. He was angry and hurt. His emotions were running in circles a thousand miles an hour. "Are you really so much better than me?" he stated more than asked.
Amy had learned early on how important it was to control her emotions. As she progressed in the business world she'd continually refined her ability to display just the right amount, regardless of what she might be feeling inside. She'd watched too many women kill their careers by crying in the middle of a meeting or saying something 'un-businesslike'. This time though, she couldn't stop the tears that were beginning to fall from her eyes. The pain in what Lee'd said pierced every part of her at once.
Lee looked briefly in Amy's eyes, turned, and left.
-------
Amy rolled over and looked at the clock beside her bed. 2:00 AM. It'd been 5 hours since Lee had left. She was tired and needed sleep, but couldn't stop her mind from racing. About all she and Lee had talked about was sex. She hadn't gotten to tell him about the other aspects Linea's job - about the intimacy and companionship that she provides and about how many guys just want someone who'll listen to them. Not many perhaps, but some. Worse, she never really got around to other issues like the simple civil rights issues involved.
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Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced or distributed in whole or in part, in any form including electronic, without the expressed written permission of the author
