LMFAO!!! Drugs are a funny thing!!!
I've gotten stood up a couple times. Makes me sad.
This usually happens only if I TOFTT or don't research a provider on TER. I lost a lot of $$ on women and I think never again... Then I go and see another hottie with no reviews... DOH!
as unfortunate as it maybe you may have actually gotten lucky by it if someone is that much of a flake. I have already bored the others here of what only is a few bad experiences and shall not take up time doing so again but lets just say I would have been happier having been stood up.
As far as being sad it sounds like the Hulk needs a good BJ to cheer you up and luckily for you and the rest of us their are plenty of other quality girls here who will do just that 
when she got up, started randomly darting around the room babbling about this and that, then shut herself up in the bathroom and started talking to herself. Long story short, I left. I'm sure that doesn't hold a candle to some of the stories that are out there.
Worst experience during a session and worst experience after (outing, blackmail etc.). I'd say my worst was with a lady that was beautiful but even before we got started she said she really didn't enjoy sex. She just layed there and let me do my thing. wasn't there long. She has since left the business.
LMFAO!!! Drugs are a funny thing!!!
and then disappear for about 8 hours.
I was sure she'd turn up dead and I'd be wanted for questioning by the authorities.
She finally showed up at about 7 AM after partying with some guys she had run into, and lost track of the time.
Oh those wild and wooly days before TER.
This was probably 3-4 years ago, oh man I couldn't believe how gorgeous this gal was, and she had a prefect set of B cup tits she could easily be a playboy model in my opinion.
Any how we start to DFK then she goes down for a bbj everything's good... then I put on the condom missionary even better, then we switch positions to doggy OH MY FUCKING GOD a stench that I can't even describe came from her pussy, I almost threw up on the hotel bed sheets. I ran to the bathroom feeling nauseous, I lied and told her that I had O'd, first and only time I ever had to fake a release.
Still till this day I could never figure out how a gal this beautiful with a perfect body would not take better care of her pussy.
That was my worst experience ever with a provider, hopefully someone makes a best experience ever thread as I would like to share that story again
Edited for typos
-- Modified on 12/1/2014 7:59:53 AM
-- Modified on 12/1/2014 8:15:31 AM
Not quite as bad as yours, but mood-breakers for sure!
I really love DATY, but when it taste like..., oh nevermind, I think everyone gets the idea..
.. shit on the end of my condom after greek with a fucking anal freak.
It was supposed to be a duo but her friend was so fat it was more like a trio (and the first girl was no beauty queen either). I thought anal would at least salvage the date but when I pulled out with a brown condom i almost yakked.
She slit my tires.
Yah, that sucked, but thankfully my insurance paid for the tow and the tires. Still fark ing annoying
I don't think this one ranks as anywhere near the "worst" experience I have ever had, considering my first was a five dollar hooker in Tijuana, but it was one of the funniest.
I was getting drunk, REALLY REALLY, fucking drunk with some friends at the Del Rey in Costa Rica when this chica insisted that she wanted to fuck me for free. She mush have repeated herself ten times "no dinero" "sin cargo" "gratis" so since she was a pretty good looking girl after about twenty drinks I thought to myself "what's the worst that can happen?" and took her upstairs.
When we got to the room she immediately sat me on the bed, pulled my pants down and started giving me a BBBJ, (which was actually pretty good), but while she was sucking my dick I could tell she was going through my pockets as I had some casino chips that make a unique sound when rattled together, of course I don't say a fucking word that I am on to her as I don't want to interrupt this world class blow job I am getting. but once I blow my wad into her mouth she goes into the bathroom to rinse out, I go through her pockets and reclaim all the money she stole from me while sucking my dick.
To make a long story short, she comes back from the bathroom, discovers "HER" money is gone and goes fucking ballistic on me swinging at me with both fists, so I bounce her out the door of my room, (not too gently I might add) and she once again goes to wailing on me. I manage to get a grip on both of her hands with my one when we lose our balance and end up on a heap in the hallway, just then one of my buddies gets off the elevator sees us, starts laughing his ass off, I do the same and she manages to get her hands free and commences to start beating the crap out of me again (or at least as much as a hundred pound woman can beat the crap out of a grown man. lol) So here we are, I am literally in hysterics, drunk, with some drunken chica doing her best to "beat me up" in the hallway of the Del Rey Hotel. I must have laughed for a fucking week over that one.
It was far from my "worst" experience, but I thought it was worth sharing.
For the record, I finally disengaged myself from her, forced her into the elevator, handed her over to security and told them to give her the heave ho, but I was nice and told them not to banish her permanently, just until I went home in a few days so I wouldn't have to deal with her again, after all she did give me a great blow job and a story to tell for years afterwards. lol
That was quite well told.
Maybe post one per week here, then after a couple years throw them all togther and publish it.
Hell, the hobbyists' stories get no respect - isn't it time we get the Richard Gere side of things for a change?!
(and I'm sure you wouldn't need to advertise either - as all the bad publicity for such a "misogynistic" book would have them rolling off the shelves, lol!)
Called her in the morning to confirm a nooner, she told me she'd been out late the night before drinking, I asked her if she'd like to reschedule and of course she said she'd be fine. And I was thinking with the little head and believed her. I got up out of her bed half way through the session, got dressed and walked out.
I was drunk, so I said yeah and we "retired" to the men's room where she gave me a mediocre CBJ and while I had my eyes closed and pants around my ankles, she stole my wallet.
That was the last time I ever did p4p while drunk. Went home and had to cancel my credit cards. Luckily had my college ID and drivers license in my jacket pocket after being carded to get into the place. She only got another 150 cash on top of her 100 but the rest of the night sucked. I didn't realize the wallet was gone till after going back to the bar. She was gone and I was sobering up.
You just need to stay aware, even when drunk. See my story above. Of course considering your story was from almost 25 years ago, I am sure you can handle your booze a bit better now. lol
I can think of a place in Cartagena Colombia that would be more suited for him. When we pulled up to the place at about 2AM, the first thing I noticed was that "security" was armed with a fucking machine gun. I sincerely thought that might be my last night on earth. I bet you there wasn't another gringo within 20 miles of that place.
With any luck, bigdummyfromMI would only need a one way ticket. lol
FWIW, I had a great time at that place in Cartengena. I figured if I was going to die, I might as well go out like a man with my dick wet. instead of cowering in the back of a taxicab. I guess it didn't hurt that the first thing I did was buy a round for the house. No better way to get on the good side of a crowd when you are an outsider than buying the drinks.
He looks more like this dude. On a good day
otherwise it would look way out of proportion to your balls!
they're not referring to his genitalia
Not that I am trying to hurry up the process, but I really never thought I would ever even see thirty so these last 25 years or so have all been "bonus time" lol
It is funny, my buddy with me in Cartagena really didn't want to get out of the cab, and wasn't going to until I reminded him that if we were going to die, it was already to late to do much about it and that "if" I was going to die that night I was not going out sniveling in the back of a cab like a pussy.
I guess my balls got a little bigger with all the booze I had in me. lol But without having ever doing stupid shit in your life, you would never have any stories to tell assuming you live. lol
with an agency and I had to meet my 2nd choice. When I see her in person she was almost a dead ringer for my son's girlfriend and I started wigging out and asked to see another girl. She thought I was LE and she was freaking out and ran out of the room. The agency called and asked me to leave. I didn't know they thought I was LE and I thought some big guy was gonna come in and get me. So I was killing myself trying to get out of the apt. I called the agency when I got in my vehicle and told them I didn't harm her and we got to talking and cleared up the misunderstanding. They invited me back up, but i just wanted to get home. LOL
You'll NEVER have to worry about that w/ me darling!!!!
I honestly have not had a bad experience... A few mediocre ones... and one NCNS... Guess, I'm doing something wrong... or maybe it's kind of like riding my Harley... even when the weather sucks, it's better than being in the office...
It was my first experience with a provider. Of course they weren't called "providers" then.
This was about thirty years ago with a streetwalker. I was walking in an area common for streetwalkers and this gal hit me up with some conversation. She was hot. An 8 or 9 in looks, very friendly, funny, nice personality (on the street). I had been in that area many times and had talked to streetwalkers before, but I never went with one, always turning them down. Something about this lady had me hooked, We talked money. She said 40, and I said, "Why not?" (That sounds cheap but remember this was 30 years ago, minimum wage was like 2.40 an hour, and I was a stuggling college student. That was alot of money to me)
So off we went to her room, a couple blocks down, where everything unravelled. First of all, she was sharing the room with another girl, who was using it at the time, but rather than waiting for her roommate to finish, she took me right on in, and asked me to undress on the bed, next to the other bed where another couple was fucking. Definitely not my thing at all, being a very shy guy. Didn't even phase the other couple. I didn't look at them, and hoped they werent looking at me. Luckily there were some potted plants between the beds as sort of a screen. My hooker goes in to the bathroom comes out naked, pops a condom on me, starts sucking for about two minutes, then lays on her back and says, "Get on."
She lays there like a dead fish and I start pumping but I have zero feeling. It was like fucking a cup of water, or throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I totally lose my erection and she is asking me, "Are you going to cum soon?" "You have to come honey, or you have to pay more."
This was less than ten minutes total time including the bj. I say, "Maybe you can use your mouth again." and she says, "EWWW! Not after its been down there!" Wow, not my fault her pussy is so bad she doesn't want anything to do with it herself! Not to mention, Hello, just change the damn condom!
So the hot gal with the sense of humor, and nice personality on the street, became a total robotic bitch in the room! If there were TER reviews back then she would have gotten an 8/2. I know it is not happening, so I put my clothes on and left, and swore I would never see a prostitute again. And I didn't....for about three years.
“It was like fucking a cup of water, or throwing a hot dog down a hallway.” LMAO!
Simile or metaphor always makes for better writing. Well written
Agency girl. They told me she was ready. She wasn't in the room but housekeeping was. Then it happened again. Finally, she was there, but went into the bathroom and came out with her leg bleeding. Pointed it out and she came back with some TP plastered to her leg. Started blowing me but the paper came off and she bled all over the bed. I left.
She was decently reviewed, very attractive young woman in her mid twenties who was traveling through Atlanta at the time. What she failed to mention was that she had just been in a bad car accident, could barely walk and had one leg bandaged all the way up to the top of her thigh.
When she answered the door, I noticed that things didn't seem to be "right" but she was friendly, gave me a big kiss and then started hobbling to the bed. She was hot, but her injuries just made most forms of sex either impossible or just plain NOT sexy. She really tried and admitted that she knew she shouldn't be working, but that it was either work or starve.
PLEASE don't tell anyone, but I felt sorry for her, she wasn't looking for a handout or begging on the street, she was doing everything in her power to "earn" her money, but this was no act, she was really messed up physically from the accident and I just didn't have the heart to force the situation. We sat around and talked, and I think I gave her an extra five hundred bucks over and above her "rate" to help her out. If she had been a bitch, I would not have given her a penny, not even her donation but there was something compelling about a woman who could barely walk still trying to make an honest living. I couldn't help but give her whatever I had in my pocket.
First of all, I don't think you can count no shows, robs you sniffed out, nor times a gentleman answered her door. Those all happen, and they're bad, but you weren't actually with the provider.
I've had two experiences where the ladies had partied all night long before my morning session. They weren't what I'd call enthusiastic. But the worst of all was several years ago. She was a well reviewed, attractive lady. When I got there, I was excited, because, she was very pretty. When she got naked I was even more excited because she had a gorgeous pussy. Sorry guys, but not all pussies are gorgeous. So when I went to go down on her, she stopped me and said, let me go get the saran wrap. Her reviews indicated otherwise, so I was quite taken aback, and lost some of my momentum. We could still salvage a decent session with some hot lovemaking. However, after a few seconds, instead of doing fake moans, she started talking about her boyfriend. She said that he could go all night long. Are you kidding me? You know how the best ladies make you feel like you're the greatest lover in the world? She made me feel the opposite. Needless to say, she got a bad review. I think something had happened to her, as she started getting other bad reviews from then on.
the extortion and blackmail was a scare but the worst, the misrepresented much older woman than her pics & 20 pounds overweight who ended up squirting so much I almost drowned and it was gross!
( I like squirters but young'uns )
Ive always had good luck in the escort thing because i knew lots of whoremongers before i took the plunge.
Plus I'm not stupid.. Only stupid people can't find the right date here
you have a website and TER reviews that aren't all they should be for our benefit.
and see a BP girl with no reviews or reviews that say RIPOFF.
just before we were starting our session. Proceeded to argue with her sister over a sub-let that sis was stiffing my date for. She's angry & in tears. It was hugely uncomfortable (we were both naked) & I wanted to give her some privacy while trying to think of a way to skip out. So I head for the bathroom & she demands "Where are you going?" I said just to the bathroom but if my cothes had been in there, I'd have baled. Eventually she gets off the phone, cleans herself up & we talk for a half hour (naked). Eventually She moves to resume the session but pardon the expression... it sucked. Her mind really wasn't in it
I've mentioned all before. I think. (Hey, I'm in my 60's. Whaddya want?).
Having the two providers at the NV brothel count down to the end of the hour while giving me a BJ ("three minutes left") wasn't exactly sexy.
Having the little dog in the bed and the provider petting it while she gave me a BJ wasn't stimulating, either
Checking your iPhone while doing me is a "sure fire" way to lose your tip ...
Having the two providers at the NV brothel count down to the end of the hour while giving me a BJ ("three minutes left") wasn't exactly sexy.
Having the little dog in the bed and the provider petting it while she gave me a BJ wasn't stimulating, either.
stripper bar in Puerto Vallarta. Go up stairs to the "VIP" area. The room is a matress wth no sheets and a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Then I look by the bed and there is a trash can full of used rubbers. To make it worse as I was getting the fuck out I saw my buddy squating over the toilet cuz he he had the shits.....and it was not a great place to shit
Not only would I not fuck any of the women in there, I would only drink beer out of the bottle, and when I had to piss, I stood back about five feet from the pisser, just incase anything came crawling or swimming out. Fortunately I didn't have to shit, but if I had, most likely I would have just shit my pants rather than take a chance of catching any of of the millions of diseases that had to be all through that place.
I can't list this as "one of my worst" experiences as I never intended to get laid there, I had just never heard of a place THAT cheap, well not since about the 1970s that is, and I had to check it out.
I was down in Quito for a week or so "fuck fest" I had a list of about 75 whorehouses, ranging from $7, including house fee as the lowest, up to one place, considered a "rip off" at $125 hour.
I found myself a driver and we tried to hit every one of the places on my list during the week I was there. I think we got to somewhere north of fifty of them that week. Of course I didn't fuck a girl at every one of them, some of the place were downright nasty, but I found some GREAT talent at some of the $15-25 "upper end" places lol
As for the $125 "rip off" place, it was actually a strip club called Baby Dolls, yes in English no less. The place was chock full of sexy Colombiannas, mainly from nearby Cali, and the VIP room not only had a bed about the size of two or three beds put together, the Jacuzzi was plenty big enough for about six. I have never been so happy to get "ripped off" in my life, but I have to confess, by Ecuadorian standards, the prices really were a rip. lol
she has cost me more money and grief than the three providers that pimps rob me.
Gal's got a big male dog... She calls it a something else but it's a Pit Bull & is very protective of her. Normally sleeps on her bed with her... has his run of the place. Goes in her closet when she tries to throw him out of the bed room. So I'm humping her & I can feel his eyes on my butt. The dog has always been ok with me but I am very careful to not make sudden moves or "grab her" in play. Last I heard, she was still paying off the vet bill from another dog who got chewed up.
when I was early to her incall. After a phone call from her apt parking lot, she said, "come on up". I walk into her apt. and she says lets sit and chat a bit. After a few she is comfortable with me and we begin to makeout. I say, "are we ready to go to the BR?" Her reply is, "Since you were early, I didn't have time to finish cleaning up the BR. Let's just fuck here on the couch." Talk about a deflating comment.
-- Modified on 12/2/2014 11:37:00 AM
Before the internet, you really had to do your own research, basically by reading the free weeklies' personals and the occasional "guide" from local XXX magazine/video stores like Doc Johnson's.
I'd lost track of some faves, and had to try and find some new ladies. One ad seemed promising, private in-call, small busty blonde in South Philly, $100. Made a date for after work, and when the time came, got on my cycle and rode down to an area west of Broad in South Philly. Not a usual area for mongering, my first mistake.
I parked out front of a row house, having been told that the door would be open, and to come upstairs. The door was wide open, nobody downstairs, so I kept walking up the stairs. Big room up there, only furniture was a card table and a dude on a chair. I was bigger than him, and in my motorcycle leathers, but still. I was getting ready to back slowly down the stairs. The dude says "She's in the back". Bedroom door opens and a nice looking blonde sticks her head out. I say "OK" and walk to the bedroom. Second mistake.
Blondie and I go in the room, she goes to pee, comes out in her underwear. We start hugging and kissing a little. We take our clothes off and get on the bed. About 5 min. into this, dude is banging on the door, says he forgot something in the bathroom. She lets him in. To my credit, I stood behind her ready to use her as a shield if it got out of hand. (best I could think of in the situation) Dude goes in the bathroom, rummages around, and leaves. OK, he was telling the truth, we go back to the bed. Third mistake.
Back on the bed, I get a BJ, maybe 5 seconds. "Ready?" says Blondie. OK, at least I'll get laid. Parted her legs and looked down, bits of TP stuck on her from when she went to pee. In for a penny, in for a pound, was what I was thinking by then. She picked off the TP "Sorry" and in I went. Fourth mistake?
I get done in record time, figuring I was pushing my luck anyway. Now I'm thinking! Dress really quick, and dude is banging on the door again. "You done?" I put the money on a chair the far side of the room and opened the door, standing aside. Blondie is counting the money, dude goes right for her, and I slide out the door and go down the stairs fast.
Evidently not fast enough. I got out of the door, but not near my bike. Dude follows me into the street. "What'd you give her ? How much?" $150, I said, thinking fast. "The bitch" he says, and runs back upstairs. I run to my bike and take off. I put my helmet on after I got some distance away.
...or work or whatever, especially if I’m cutting it close to being late; however, to have a dose of adrenalin running away because of fear of harm is a different story! Yours is a good example of getting away quickly and unscathed, so good for you!
Anyway, stories like yours that involve a question danger are what TV and movies thrive on for drama, like this Fargo clip where this guy is not so lucky (Talk about turning on the dime from pleasure to violence, but at least it’s fictional.
As someone new to the game, I had checked TER reviews and contacted a couple of providers, but they did not respond to my calls, or respond in a timely manner. So I contacted another one with good reviews through email. She shortly got back to me and I replied to it and said I would call her. I did, and I got a very well thought out professional message on the phone; I was impressed. Next day, we talked on the phone and she came across sweet and sincere, and to make it short, I was vacationing and I had booked a hotel in the area I was traveling to and we set up an appointment at 9:00 PM. She asked me to contact her 1-hour prior to verify the appointment; everything felt great. She was pleased that I had chosen her as it was also a place she lived close by. I was filled with anticipation. Later, I did call her 1-hour before our meeting several times and got no reply; I left messages. I waited 45 minutes past our appointment and left a message to cancel, as again she didn't pick up. Since I didn't want to miss what time I had left that night and I wanted to get out of the hotel, I settled on an area bar and grille and got an appetizer and had a few drinks. Later, i checked my phone’s email and saw a message from her explaining her mobile phone had froze and she left an alternate phone number. She said to contact her at this alternate number if I still wanted to go ahead. Of course I did, but it was midnight and too late, so (what the heck) why give up, I called and explained to her I did not even think of checking my email on my mobil phone and asked her if she was available in the early morning before I have to check out at 10:00 AM. Anyway, I didn't sleep soundly, and very early in the morning I heard my mobile phone ring, I’m anticipating to myself, “that must be her.” It’s dark and I fumble for the light switch, then for the phone. Unfortunately I get to it too late, but I listen to a recorded message left from an insurance agent returning my call and telling me to call back if interested in his financial services. I then look at the clock and it’s 6:30 AM.
Fast forward: The next provider I saw after her turned out to be a great time at two-thirds the price to what the no-show charged. In my own smug way to justify for what didn't work out with my much anticipated no-show is when I read her most recent and unfavorable reviews. It occurred to me that consistency helps and that updated reviews are another way to gauge a potential success
Not the provider's fault but one of the worst experiences ever.
Hotel fire alarm starts blaring just as the good part of a session was getting started. Security's running the halls beating on doors shouting 'Everybody out!'. Middle of the day at a mid-size hotel, so there were only a few dozen other tenants there. We threw on what clothes we could and scrambled down into a parking lot filled with every fire truck and police car in town. Couldn't get to my car and exits were blocked by emergency vehicles anyway. To make it more awkward, hotel manager and one of the cops want to go person-to-person and check off room numbers to try to figure out who might still be inside. My companion gave her room number and I mumbled something about being her friend. Definitely got a raised-eyebrow look but luckily they wanted to keep moving. Scrambled to my car and took off as soon the party started to break up - the mood was definitely killed
showed up for an 11 am once, lady (who was very highly reviewed, btw) had already been drinking (a lot), and I gently tried to slow that down and turn our attention to other types of carnal matters, we got in the bedroom and started fooling around, was going okay for a bit, and after awhile she said she definitely wanted a "little refresher," couldn't stop her although I suggested it might be a bad idea, she downed another impressive round of vodka, then -- what a surprise (not) -- went into the bathroom and vomited profusely, then wanted to renew our session, indeed was demanding Greek from me while she used a vibrator to get herself off .. it just was hard to maintain any inspiration or passion, what can I say. Somehow I finished (I am a guy after all) and so did she, and when I left she was saying, "you'll call me, right," and well .. guess what, I haven't.
Gun to my head by jealous BF
and it wasn't a pussy fart.
I thought I was getting an attractive MILF. Her average looks rating was a "7"on the review sites. When I opened the door, she was a 6. When she took off her shirt she was a 5. When she got naked she was a 4. When we tried doggy, the nasty tatts on her ass cheeks made her a 3. Needless to say I lost wood and all faith in provider review sites.