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All the stories about rape on campuses make it sound like there has never been consensual sex on college campuses.

As someone who never had sex until he found TER as a man in his 30's, I'd like to know was it really possible to find someone to have sex with you in college back in the past?

I say past because modern college life seems to be all about rape when it comes to sex based on all the articles about rape on campuses.

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 8:38:13 AM

If, because of the stories about campus rape, you have somehow come to the conclusion that "there has never been consensual sex on college campuses" then that's your problem.
There has always been plenty of non-consensual sex (by today's definition) on college campuses.  The only difference is we now have a well-defined description of what it is and people are reporting it.
I think it's really that simple

GaGambler1118 reads

The OP sounds like one of them.

Yes, there are hundreds, even thousands of cases of "Non consensual" sex on campus, but this is out of millions of cases of sex on campus.

I think this is a weak attempt by the OP to excuse his lack of game when in college by offering up the weak claim that "only rapists were getting laid" He makes The Dungbeetle look manly by comparison, or even turdy for that matter.

Posted By: GaGambler
The OP sounds like one of them.

Yes, there are hundreds, even thousands of cases of "Non consensual" sex on campus, but this is out of millions of cases of sex on campus.

I think this is a weak attempt by the OP to excuse his lack of game when in college by offering up the weak claim that "only rapists were getting laid" He makes The Dungbeetle look manly by comparison, or even turdy for that matter.

When I read the newbie forum, I see guys telling those in college that they shouldn't even try to hobby because they can get sex for free in college. Some guys just can't pick up women even when surrounded by them at places like college or a bar.

And I do believe I'd stand zero chance of getting some action, if I was a man in a woman's prison.

GaGambler1027 reads

I am NOT one of the guys giving out that kind of advice. I had my first P4P experience at the ripe old age of 15, by the time I reached college age I had been with hookers in at least four or five different countries. None of that has stopped me from having "real" relationships or getting married, although I wish SOMETHING had stopped me from getting married, it would have saved me a boatload of money, more than I ever spent of hookers, and I spend a LOT on hookers. lol

Don't beat yourself up too much for not having any game. (we will do that for you. lol) Lot's of guys have no game, but that doesn't mean that there aren't millions of women willing to "give it up" if you simply learn how to ask.

Posted By: GaGambler
I am NOT one of the guys giving out that kind of advice. I had my first P4P experience at the ripe old age of 15, by the time I reached college age I had been with hookers in at least four or five different countries. None of that has stopped me from having "real" relationships or getting married, although I wish SOMETHING had stopped me from getting married, it would have saved me a boatload of money, more than I ever spent of hookers, and I spend a LOT on hookers. lol

Don't beat yourself up too much for not having any game. (we will do that for you. lol) Lot's of guys have no game, but that doesn't mean that there aren't millions of women willing to "give it up" if you simply learn how to ask.

For every, I wish I had been married by 30 moment in my life, I also have a I'm glad I remained single moment.

First, headlines do not equal reality, they reflect Americans' insatiable appetite to consume the salacious, as long as they don't have to think too much to get it down. Second, are you fucking kidding me? I got laid so much in college it's a wonder I graduated. And even more in grad school, when we all needed the stress relief. Maybe you went to DeVry or U of Phoenix?

I was 17, in high school dating an older guy when he left me alone at a party and I was attacked by 4 of his friends. Did I report it? No.  I was afraid my mom would find out I was no longer a virgin and hate me. I had a busted lip and bruises from being held down while I fought the guy off.  Horrible? Yes. Common? Oh yes. It happens a lot more than reported.  
I was held down others are drugged. It happens so often that there is now a nail polish to tell you if your drink is altered.b problem is, unless you're paranoid, why would you wear it and test your cocktail?  
 

Posted By: CountryBoyAtHeart
All the stories about rape on campuses make it sound like there has never been consensual sex on college campuses.  
   
 As someone who never had sex until he found TER as a man in his 30's, I'd like to know was it really possible to find someone to have sex with you in college back in the past?  
   
 I say past because modern college life seems to be all about rape when it comes to sex based on all the articles about rape on campuses.

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 8:38:13 AM

In case my post came off in any way insensitive, I would never dismiss or minimize how horrifying it must have been to go through what you went through. There were incidents I heard about when I was in college and I was, and am, disgusted by them. So while I don't believe colleges are rape central the way the media would have us believe, I do think anyone who forces someone else to engage in a sexual act should be strung up by whatever appendage hurts the most.

The only thing you wrote I have a problem with is about it not being as bad as the media portrays. I think it's worse and the media just scratches the surface.

I've never personally witnessed anything like it but admittedly I haven't been near a college in almost 20 years so I can't really say. I suppose it's possible things are very different now. I was a stereotypical frat boy (cringe) and as plugged in as anyone at my schools and I did hear a few things but they were isolated incidents. In any event I deplored it then as I do now, and if it is as you say then I hope it's covered in even more depth so young women are informed and do what they can to protect themselves.

It's bad - underreporting is rampant (not only in campuses).
I'm very sorry Jessica for what you went through, and for what some of my students have gone through when they sit in my office and muster up the courage to tell me (this has only happened a couple of times, but the sexual assault numbers are high.

Do you spend any time on college campuses these days? I do. Quite a bit. Does it happen? Sure. Is it wrong? Of course. Is it hyped by feminists and their acolytes in the media? Absolutely. Just like they skewed stats in the military to get the results desired.  

Posted By: DateJessicaK
The only thing you wrote I have a problem with is about it not being as bad as the media portrays. I think it's worse and the media just scratches the surface.

one of the most horrifying cases of Priest abuse was reported 30 years after it happened.  The guy ran an article in the newspaper requesting that other people come forward if they had been abused.

So many people came forward that a couple of the cases fell in line so that the guy could be jailed.

Posted By: Ridgetucky
one of the most horrifying cases of Priest abuse was reported 30 years after it happened.  The guy ran an article in the newspaper requesting that other people come forward if they had been abused.  
   
 So many people came forward that a couple of the cases fell in line so that the guy could be jailed.

in my opinion it is a gruesome story

We had coed dorms so there were tons of booty calls. Just had to walk down the hallway. It was a blast until there was a scabies outbreak. Had to tell the nurse who I'd been with. To say she was disgusted is an understatement. I then had to track down all the ladies and alert them. Couldn't use text then. Damn!

One evening she sucked off about 20 guys one after another.  She was later seen outside puking onto the ground.  Someone asked if she was drinking too much.  I replied: no she just swallowed too much.

Posted By: DT_lover
One evening she sucked off about 20 guys one after another.  She was later seen outside puking onto the ground.  Someone asked if she was drinking too much.  I replied: no she just swallowed too much.
I made mistake of reading comments related to a Rolling Stone article about a gang rape at UVA and forgot that people who have sex willingly in college don't exactly brag about it anymore because then people will call them sluts.

You could have scooped it all up and forced it back down her throat.

I thought it would be extreme even for RT.

College was pretty good for me about 1/2 the time I had a GF that was on birth control.  We used to F*** with no condom and cumming inside was fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other 1/2 was OK but you had to spend alot of time chasing women.  And I figured I would rather graduate than become a manwhore.  So I did not put alot of effort into that activity.

It is kind of a double edged sword today.  I think some guys don't know where the line stops and some gals have buyers remorse.  

The bottom line is if you have to ask all kinds of stupid fucking questions to figure out if you can fuck a gal.  Simply stop, go find another gal or go the library and study.

RT

Posted By: Ridgetucky
I thought it would be extreme even for RT.  
   
 The bottom line is if you have to ask all kinds of stupid fucking questions to figure out if you can fuck a gal.  Simply stop, go find another gal or go the library and study.  
   
 RT
I live in area of USA where they just passed a law that requires both people to say yes very clearly before they engage in sexual activity in colleges. I've also read that this kind of law is gaining national support and may make it into mainstream everyday life because the no means no laws no longer work as effectively to eliminate sexual assault.

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 10:57:09 AM

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 10:57:44 AM

By age 17, about half (48%) of teens have had sexual intercourse. By age 19, the number is 71%. Young adults entering college are, largely, already sexually active.  
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html

What I find particularly interesting is that about 1/3 of young adults who have not experienced sexual intercourse tend to remain sexually inactive in college. The others continue sexual activity in a variety of ways.
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/08/06/hookinguprealities/the-definitive-survey-of-college-students-sexual-behavior-by-gender/

My own experiences sort of match the numbers above. I first had intercourse at 16, almost 17 years old. I never went long periods without - I always had a similar-minded gf. I guess I was a serial monogamist. I did have a few hookups... but nothing like what seems to go on now.  

As for rape? Yes, I'm sure it does happen. I don't however, believe the numbers sensationalized in the media and in politics. As many as 1 in 4 (25%) of women raped in college? Nah. The data comes from the way "rape" is defined in the surveys, and while that many women answered they had experiences that met the definition of rape, only about half agreed that their experiences were something they actually considered rape themselves - they disagreed with the definition! So 1 in 8 (12%)? More believable.

Skinny_Minnie:-)1183 reads

I've never been attacked by a random stranger, but have been in a situation (long ago) when I was fighting with a boyfriend and he held me down- he was 100lbs bigger than me, and had sex with me although I was crying/mad at him.  But we'd had sex many times throughout the relationship.

So... What is rape?

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 11:41:56 AM

In it's broadest term, rape would be any sexual activity between persons where one party is either resisting the other or is considered incapable of giving informed assent (children, or persons who have been drugged, two give two examples.)

That being said, there is some very gray area in between (Some feminists insist that any P4P, for example, is tantamount to rape.)

That's why we have a court system.

Rape/sexual assault is sex with the absence of consent. It doesn't matter what you've consented to in the past.

JackDunphy1217 reads

Does a woman in a relationship HAVE to verbalize the word "yes"? Does she have to nod in the affirmative Tobi? If that's the case almost every man has committed rape.

Every man I know would consider the absence of "no" as consent, especially if we were in a relationship. Picking up a stranger at bar is different but there are many non verbal clues a woman can give off to give the appearance of consent.

Not sure how you can say to a 100% certainty that Minnie was "raped" based on the limited info she gave. She didn't comment on "consent" at all. Maybe that's the way they play sometimes. I don't know.

Granted, it didn't sound ideal to me either but unless Minnie clarifies and said she was forced into having sex against her will, and she was unclear on that fact, I assume for now she wasn't raped and I say that because she characterized it as "sex" and not rape.

Posted By: JackDunphy
Does a woman in a relationship HAVE to verbalize the word "yes"? Does she have to nod in the affirmative Tobi? If that's the case almost every man has committed rape.  
   
 Every man I know would consider the absence of "no" as consent, especially if we were in a relationship. Picking up a stranger at bar is different but there are many non verbal clues a woman can give off to give the appearance of consent.  
   
 Not sure how you can say to a 100% certainty that Minnie was "raped" based on the limited info she gave. She didn't comment on "consent" at all. Maybe that's the way they play sometimes. I don't know.  
   
 Granted, it didn't sound ideal to me either but unless Minnie clarifies and said she was forced into having sex against her will, and she was unclear on that fact, I assume for now she wasn't raped and I say that because she characterized it as "sex" and not rape.
Some states now have a law that says it's rape, if yes isn't said by both people since the no means no laws weren't enough to limit rape.

And therein lies the problem. Different people have different definitions. And some women SAY no but mean yes, right? Most rational dudes know the diff bad sadly some assholes don't.

Skinny_Minnie:-)1168 reads

And by definition, yes, it was rape as I didn't consent with either verbal or nonverbal cues.  As a matter of fact, I'm sure I struggled and resisted, but it was futile due to his size advantage.  It was all about power- he was doing it to say, "I'm in control here, don't you forget it."

Ultimately, we made up and continued to date, but I don't think it makes it any less of a rape.  I think there's a wide spectrum of rape- the worst being violent assault from a random stranger(s) all the way to a controlling husband raping his wife/girlfriend to demonstrate his dominance.  Obviously it's less traumatizing if you've already had consensual sex with the person.


-- Modified on 11/23/2014 12:59:08 PM

It is interesting that you clearly differentiate between the "types" of rape as I believe most of society would disagree but you have experienced this first hand so I am not about to argue the point with you.

It is sad you had to go thru that though.

GaGambler1237 reads

Do you believe that what her BF did was worthy of sending the guy to prison for several years?

The law doesn't make exceptions for the thousands shades of gray where it comes to sexual assault.

I had a GF once who got off on being taken "against her will" the first dozen or so times we had sex it bordered on rape, so convincingly that I would have to stop, just on the edge of penetration to ask her if she really meant "NO". Her answer was always "NO" as in no she didn't mean it. Truth be told, it creeped me out a bit. I was taught that "No means No" but it's not always that black and white with some people.

The definition of sexual assault from the DOJ is:

"Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape."

Rape definition from the FBI:

“Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

I don't disagree with either of these definitions. I think the key is consent... period.

From Wikipedia, the study estimates for campus rape are between 1 in 50 (low) and 1 in 4 (high). I don't know what definitions or questions were used for the various surveys, although study flaws are discussed.  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campus_rape

1 out of 4 women in college are date raped at some point.

Steph

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 2:23:07 PM

There was consensual sex at a major Land grant College in 1952. No rapes either.

Chauncey Gardner1199 reads

For God's sake exercise some critical thinking when you're reading.  Unless of course you also think there is an Ebola "crisis" in the US based on 4 or 5 reported cases.  If so how did you survive to adulthood?

You do realize that just because the news reports cases of child abduction, that doesn't mean that every child in the US is going to get abducted at some point, right?

Seriously, dude, that sort of gross exaggeration actually trivializes rape. Good lord.  
 

Posted By: CountryBoyAtHeart
All the stories about rape on campuses make it sound like there has never been consensual sex on college campuses.  
   
 As someone who never had sex until he found TER as a man in his 30's, I'd like to know was it really possible to find someone to have sex with you in college back in the past?  
   
 I say past because modern college life seems to be all about rape when it comes to sex based on all the articles about rape on campuses.

-- Modified on 11/23/2014 8:38:13 AM

Well, I meant it could appear to outsiders like me who never went to college that anytime someone has had sex while in college, it could've been rape because of the feminist movement and media spin on rape and college.

Posted By: CountryBoyAtHeart
Well, I meant it could appear to outsiders like me who never went to college that anytime someone has had sex while in college, it could've been rape because of the feminist movement and media spin on rape and college.
Jesus tittyfucking christ, dude. Maybe you should try sitting in on a Women's Studies/Human Sexuality class some time. At least then you'd know the actual definitions of concepts like rape and feminism.

JackDunphy1084 reads

As Fish alluded to, some of them have so widely defined rape to the point of it being absurd.  

In addition, the politicalization of rape, sexual harassment, etc is apparent as to who the feminists apply it to and who they don't, and sadly they view it differently based on who the male is.

Sex negativity, if you ask me (and most millenial feminists), is completely antithetical to the core tenets of feminism. These are the same people who think that by being a sex worker, I'm automatically a victim, which completely demeans my autonomy over my own sexuality. That type of "men are exploiters" thinking is equally as harmful to women as it is to men. That said, that brand of "feminism" is being pretty rapidly phased out over time.  

Posted By: JackDunphy
As Fish alluded to, some of them have so widely defined rape to the point of it being absurd.  
   
 In addition, the politicalization of rape, sexual harassment, etc is apparent as to who the feminists apply it to and who they don't, and sadly they view it differently based on who the male is.

GaGambler1128 reads

This war on human trafficking by jailing consenting adults, female adults at that, sure is proof that they still have the larger voice.

I sure wish that particular brand of feminism would phase out a little more rapidly. It's an insult to women who actually just want to be treated equal.

Let's not forget craven political opportunists who conveniently remember to arrest hookers right before election time.

GaGambler1228 reads

So I kept my comments restricted to their part in this ridiculous campaign against consenting adults. You of course are right that many other contribute to this travesty, not the least of which are DA's, politicians running on "law and order" and let's not forget the sensationalist media.

You know the Westboro Baptist Church? (They're the "god hates fags" asswipes) They get more attention than most Christians, but the vast majority of Christians don't go hanging out at dead soldier's funerals yelling about how they're in hell because God hates America for embracing homosexuality. Shit, Christianity was founded by the king of all hippies. People can claim any ideology and warp it to justify their own prejudices. Most people don't view Christians in general as being venomous cunts because of a small, reactionary group of vocal asses. Sadly, most people DO still view feminists in general as being man-hating crybabies thanks to a small group of hags who think that they know what's best for women.  

Posted By: GaGambler
This war on human trafficking by jailing consenting adults, female adults at that, sure is proof that they still have the larger voice.

I sure wish that particular brand of feminism would phase out a little more rapidly. It's an insult to women who actually just want to be treated equal.

GaGambler891 reads

I do tend to view Christians as "venomous cunts" just like I do tend to view feminists in general as being "man hating cry babies" in large part because of those extremists that do grab all the headlines.

If Christians would leave me the fuck alone, AND if feminists would simply stop at "equal" rights, I would probably be fine with both. The truth of the matter is quite different however. You can NEVER satisfy most special interest groups and that goes back to the Mayflower. Those religious pukes fled persecution in their home country only to become even bigger oppressors themselves once they found themselves with the opportunity, and that oppression continues to this day.

Except maybe Buddhists. If someone can show me a militant Buddhist, I'd really like to see that for pure entertainment value.  

Posted By: GaGambler
I do tend to view Christians as "venomous cunts" just like I do tend to view feminists in general as being "man hating cry babies" in large part because of those extremists that do grab all the headlines.

If Christians would leave me the fuck alone, AND if feminists would simply stop at "equal" rights, I would probably be fine with both. The truth of the matter is quite different however. You can NEVER satisfy most special interest groups and that goes back to the Mayflower. Those religious pukes fled persecution in their home country only to become even bigger oppressors themselves once they found themselves with the opportunity, and that oppression continues to this day.

Tobi is dead on, they are the worst and cause more issues for women than some men could ever do. I am no victim. All I want as a HUMAN being is to be treated the same as any other...not less than because of my gender.

skarphedin1236 reads

Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
   
Posted By: CountryBoyAtHeart
Well, I meant it could appear to outsiders like me who never went to college that anytime someone has had sex while in college, it could've been rape because of the feminist movement and media spin on rape and college.
   
 Jesus tittyfucking christ, dude. Maybe you should try sitting in on a Women's Studies/Human Sexuality class some time. At least then you'd know the actual definitions of concepts like rape and feminism.

What kind of job can you get taking classes like that? Just curious.

Posted By: USGrantlover
What kind of job can you get taking classes like that? Just curious.
Lobbyist, non-profit, social work, etc. Lots of activism-related stuff.

What I figured. Got two nieces with Masters and undergrad in art. They sit on their asses.

Posted By: USGrantlover
What I figured. Got two nieces with Masters and undergrad in art. They sit on their asses.
Well if they're sitting on their asses, it's because they're lazy, not because of what degrees they have.

GaGambler1023 reads

I know it's true, I saw it on the 6:00 news, and they could NEVER say it if it weren't true, right?

Funny, it does remind me of that ridiculous claim that somewhere over a million kids went missing in this country. My question is in a country of roughly three hundred million total people, just where the fuck are these million plus kids being hidden?

Yes, the OP is truly TSTTTTT or GG for that matter, but it's a slow day, Fuck football, I think I need to go get laid.

You just have to love the "Hobby" and the internet. With only a couple hours notice, I have about the same choice in pussy as I do ordering take out food. Let's see, am I in the mood for Korean, Mexican, or good old fashioned American today? lol

Or do I need to worry about these women possibly being trafficked. Let's see, all Asian women are sex slaves, black women all have pimps, Latinas are all run by Mexican gangs... What's a whore monger to do?

all women in porn are coerced and porn is, at least implicitly, violence against women.

GaGambler999 reads

and further what their opinion of lesbian porn watched by actual lesbians would be?

I would love to watch one of these feminazis ponder that one for a while and watch her little head explode. lol

Maybe we could get H+T and Tobi to make a video produced by Courtney and watched by Hotplants, not a single swinging dick in the house, but somehow someone like her would find a way to make it all about mans violence against women, and make out all four of them to be victims. lmao

Sheesh, don't you know all men are evil according to the Dworkins of this world?  Like her, I think most of them were dumb enough to be with abusive men (Dworkin did that twice) and it made them man haters. The only men they are comfortable around are guys like Rodney, who smile and nod at them like Bobblehead dolls.

Posted By: inicky46
all women in porn are coerced and porn is, at least implicitly, violence against women.

But the women are there for the most part willingly participating is a sexual form that is rough and demeaning and at times violent. But it is their choice to do that. They can say no.

skarphedin1197 reads

tudy Suspects Thousands of False Convictions
By ADAM LIPTAK
Published: April 19, 2004

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A comprehensive study of 328 criminal cases over the last 15 years in which the convicted person was exonerated suggests that there are thousands of innocent people in prison today.

Almost all the exonerations were in murder and rape cases, and that implies, according to the study, that many innocent people have been convicted of less serious crimes. But the study says they benefited neither from the intense scrutiny that murder cases tend to receive nor from the DNA evidence that can categorically establish the innocence of people convicted of rape.

Prosecutors, however, have questioned some of the methodology used in the study, which was prepared at the University of Michigan and supervised by a law professor there, Samuel R. Gross. They say the number of exonerations is quite small when compared with the number of convictions during the 15-year period. About 2 million people are in American prisons and jails.

The study identified 199 murder exonerations, 73 of them in capital cases. It also found 120 rape exonerations. Only nine cases involved other crimes. In more than half of the cases, the defendants had been in prison for more than 10 years

but I was too uptight to do so.  I have GFs on & off starting when I was 15.   I was readng the accounts of Rape & recalled dating a friend's sister.  We voluntarily ended up together in my sleeping bag.  I rather naturally assumed sex was going to follow...  she said no, I stopped, we both got dressed & I took her home.  She told her brother, my friend, "that I tried to rape her".  Yeah, that went over well.  I told him that I didn't but we did have a misunderstanding.  I didn't try to explain the circumstances but would have if he'd pressed me.    
I wasn"t a frat boy so I don't know about that scene...  and it was a lifetime ago anyway.   I didn't have as many GFs as I'd have liked but I was too busy being a beach bum.

MadamX985 reads

I had plenty of consensual sex in college.  I was also raped in college. It has been 30 years and I am hiding behind an alias because I have never told anyone and it still pains me to do so. The only reason I am willing to share now is because some of you guys are pissing me off with your victim blaming head in the sand comments.  
It was 1985 during Thanksgiving break. My parents wanted me to come home for the holiday but I told them I couldn’t get out of work. I loved the campus during times like this. Everyone was gone and a beautiful day called for a quiet walk down frat row to admire the mansions. A not too bad looking guy strikes up a conversation. Soon he says “would you like to see our house?” Since I was not in a sorority I had not seen the inside of a frat house before. “Sure”. There wear maybe 5 or 6 guys in the house that I passed on the way to his room. Not the usual 30+ that I’d expect if it were not a holiday.   Once inside he offered me alcohol. “No thanks, it’s the afternoon and I am not really into it”. “OK”. Then he walks to the bedroom door and clicks 3 dead bolts. “Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?” “Yeah, right” now realizing that he has told me he is on the wrestling team and I didn’t stand a chance. I tried to talk my way out. “I’m on my period”, “ “That’s OK”  , “This is not what I came here for” “Sure you did, why else would you be in my bedroom” , I run for the door and barely get one of the locks before I am tackled and thrown on the bed. He plays cat and mouse with me several times. Lets me get to the door, even through one or two locks before throwing me back and wrestling me into whatever configuration he wants. I am screaming. Surly the other guys in the house can hear me. They do. They knock on the door hooting and hollering.  “Sounds like someone is having a good time”. He puts his knees on my arms and sits on my abdomen. “Aren’t I a nice guy? I am even putting on a condom for you”.  I cry, kick and scream but there is no escaping the inevitable. Afterwards he explains the brotherhood. “Those guys out there are my brothers. They saw you come in of your own free will. We stick together no matter what. They all will say that you came over had a great time and left with a smile.” It was obvious to me then that those 3 locks on his bedroom door were not to keep people out but to keep girls in. It was also obvious that rape is a fraternity sport and all the guys were players.  
After a lot of tears and a scalding shower I seek refuge at the rape counselor on campus. Yes, there was a lady whose full time job was to console rape victims on campus. She was a busy lady. In the paper at the time was a girl who had reported one of the frat boys for rape. Her name was all over the press. She was so traumatized that she dropped out of school. “Were you a virgin? Are you prepared for the publicity? Do you realize that every boy you have had sex with is going to be called into trial? Are you ready to be judged?  I am happy to help you proceed if you are strong enough for the fight”. Truth is I wasn't strong enough. I wanted to finish school and not make my full time job entail reliving the accounts of a single day. “Well can you at least take his name and the name of his frat in case other girls come in with the same complaint? Maybe if there is more of us we can stand together against him.” I walked away with nothing.  
I ran into him at a school event a year or two later. He came toward me with open arms and a big smile as if we were old friends. I froze. My pulse quickened. I started shaking and tears welled up in my eyes. He is blabbing about some great job offer he had gotten and my world is crushing in on me. I am thinking how unfair it is that he has no guilt. He gets to move on and has no idea of the scars he has inflicted.  
Whew who would have guessed that retelling my tail would be so difficult?  My hands were shaking so much while writing this that I almost couldn't finish. My heart is still pounding, my stomach is turning. My eyes are wet.  
I never told my parents. They would have insisted I stand up for myself and get justice. My dad probably would have ended up in jail himself for beating the kid to a pulp.  You guys are so naïve if you think you know what your daughters and sisters have been through. Ask my dad and he will say “I raised my daughters to be strong and smart. They would never put themselves in a bad situation and if there was an injustice done to them we would stick together as a family and fight”.  Dear sweet dad,  I will protect your innocence

Especially to approach you later as if what he did to you was completely normal and no big deal...how absolutely devastating that must have been for you, I'm so sorry. Please don't interpret anything I wrote as minimizing the horrific nature of rape, that was not my intent at all. In my personal experience such crimes were rare, but maybe I wasn't as "plugged in" as I thought I was. In any event I fervently hope that there is something to the concept of bad karma and that it is visited in spades upon the guy who did that to you.

Skinny_Minnie:-)1047 reads

and I'm sorry to have shared my light and fluffy story, which I was culpable for, when people like you have lived through real and horrible assaults.  I wish you peace and forgiveness (to the guy who assaulted you), and Im glad you got this story off your chest and on "paper".

You are a true survivor, and I admire your strength. These are the stories that need to be told.

I swear, today if a guy raped me I would hunt him down and torture him till be begged to die. And I could not care less going to jail.  

I cannot imagine carrying that through the years, and trying to have a relationship with a man. That would turn me into a man hater for sure. I could not trust one ever again. Or I would be the mean asshole and purposely use and hurt them and walk off. I know that sounds bad but I would have no idea what to do with my rage. Thank goodness I am hitting the gym.

As I posted WAY up somewhere on this thread, it's estimated that 1 in 4 girls will be date raped in high school or college. And NO I don't have the figures in front of me as I type this for the nay sayers.

My freshman year in college a girl on my hall that I was friends with went to a frat party. I was there, as well as other girls on my hall and in my dorm. It was a mixer and our dorm was invited. She even had a cousin who was a little sister for the frat house. We were 18. It was almost the end of the first semester. Drinks were flowing she got toasted, sloppy drunk. As freshman we had a curfew and it was time to go. She was so drunk she got pissy and didn't want to leave. We HAD to go or we'd all be in trouble. A guy at the house said he had a car and would get her back to or college. All of us were tipsy and it never entered my mind that something bad would happen to her. I had dated one or two of the guys to football games and a few mixers there.

They pulled a train on her in a room upstairs. I don't know how many, neither did she. She had passed out and after they were through with her, they took her out of their frat house and dumped her on the front pourch of the frat house next door like a piece of broken furniture.

She of course, didn't get driven back to the school we attended until some ungodly hour of the a.m. She ended up being kicked out of the college for breaking the honor code. Her older sister had attended and the next year her younger sister attended on a scholarship. This girl had been my friend. I had gone home  a couple of weekends with her to her hometown to meet her mother and sisters. I had never known about anything like this before. She wouldn't talk to ANYONE the day she left. Girls were talking shit about her in the days before she was kicked out. She never went back to any school. I was so upset at her getting kicked and the way she was treated when this happened.

I later learned this frat had a reputation for doing this shit once a year, but no one ever said anything.

I to this day, hate that frat house. I saw two of the guys I know were involved out on the town a few weeks later and I cussed them out. They were all preppy guys in their starched polo button downs and perfectly pressed pants. It didn't matter what they were wearing or who their families were, they were PIGS.

Years laterI saw the same two guys at a Chamber Of Commerce sponsored business after hours in Raleigh.  They were with a group of people. I introduced myself and then turned and said the name of my college friend and told the whole group what those two participated in and how they dumped her on the front stoop of another frat house and left. I then turned and walked away. I was young, in my late 20s,at the time I did this, I had a pair of brass ones back then ad just saw "red" when I saw those two guys again. It had no impact on their lives so it appeared at the time. Same with some of the others.

There was one guy in particular who was a lunatic at the frat house, he was in one that got her up the stairs and called all the other guys into the room. They had put her on the floor in the middle and took turns while other waited outside for their turn. The one that took her upstairs...the one who had flirted with her all night making sure her glass was never empty, I called him the instigator. .. Karma is a bitch...There was a huge sex scandal at a school his daughter went to in Raleigh. A private school. Daughter was 12 and teacher molested her, se was one of the victims at school. Was that a horrible thing, YES, was the same thing that happened to my friend in college, NO! But it happened to his daughter That's kinda Old Testament right there...

And I'm not condoning what happened to a 12 year old girl who happened to be the daughter of a PIG. But he felt some pain, I can tell you that.

Today,things I think would be different. She could have gotten help, and she wouldn't have been victimized twice by getting kicked out of school. I do hear about it more now because more girls don't hide it.

When I was in college their was nothing called date rape. There is now.

Steph

Based on a Rolling Stone investigation.  This isn't about one rape, but about an alleged pervasive pattern of sexual assault tacitly condoned (until now) by UVA's administration

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