defines myself?

WTF are you talking about? Of all the dumbass posts you have cluttered the boardwith, this one is near the top

so in that sense, it certainly does define me.

And yet it is secret from many people I know, including most of my family and co-workers with whom I am fairly close.

This causes me so concern, yet it all seems to work out somehow, so I'm not going to do anything to change that.

No

My hobby defines me!

If you opened this, please respond with a short essay on what this statement means to you.

Good luck!

It's part of who I am, but in no way defines me.

That's an odd question.
I wonder why you would ask such a thing?

If you are asking if the hobby has changed my sex life? The answer is yes. Scary yes...
In a good wa

Wtf does this even mean?

also, I like to think it's rather less passive than "participating in the sex I share with others."  Usually, it's just fucking.

That said, the depraved nonsense I think about when masturbating is undoubtedly worse for me than any actual acts I've "shared with others."  No one should do that to Princess Leia

I'm guessing since you're so confused most of the time you are probably a hermaphrodite.


-- Modified on 11/19/2014 8:25:31 AM

We tend to be complex creatures with multiple impulses and desires,  conflicting needs and wants, and changing perspectives and priorities.  I think you can tell quite a bit about a person based on how they approach sex. But that ain't all there is to tell.

you are more concerned with how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself. Words and actions are observable attributes that others interpret and use to "define" you. They may or may not be accurate, or may ascribe motives that do not exist.  

From an internal standpoint, I would say that yes - so long as one's behaviors are aligned with their personal beliefs, values, mores, etc... then they are a part of how you define yourself.

Not sure if this will even be seen since it is bumped way down, but this is a subject near and dear to my heart.  I believe that to live fully and authentically, we must be able to embrace all of who we are, including our sexuality.  I believe that when we deny, stifle, or compromise our interests, we deny fully knowing ourselves.  I believe that when we are given the opportunity to explore our deepest secrets and most vulnerable places (usually our sexuality) in safe spaces, met with non-judgement, it has the ability to empower us in ways that nothing else can.  Because of THAT, our sexuality, IMO, holds much power in influencing our lives (and perhaps our identity), but I caution against saying it "defines" us.  Sexuality is fluid, and changes over time.  If one gets caught up on rigid definitions, what happens when things shift?  It's like saying one's job defines them, then one day their company closes or their job becomes obsolete.  Our vocation is a part of who we are, but it should not define us fully if we don't want to eventually deal with an identity crisis when you quit/get fired/retire.  Hopefully that makes sense...it was a great question!

xoM