I tell "special" clients they have a great cock... And they think I am lying! But I do mean it! Some cocks are better than others, look better, feel better in your mouth, make your vagina quiver with every stroke... Being a dick connoisseur, well it's my job too, LOL, so I see cocks all the time. When I see a nice once and one that I like to enjoy myself with I am gonna tell ya. If not, I won't say anything.
What I won't do is embellish on penis size. Like really? Why say a 5" is a monster? Not even close. And let's not talk about the lil ones that want to do doggie... And the mandingos that want greek...Some of the recent threads got me thinking about all the little (and not so little) lies that keep this corner of the world going:
Clients:
- I don't do this often, and only with a girl that seems really special ('I tried 6 numbers on Backpage tonight before looking you up')
- I'm single ('I'm married')
- Things aren't so great in my marriage right now ('I know my wife won't call in the next hour because she's out shopping for my birthday present')
- You know, I don't usually have to pay for this ('I've never been on a real date')
- My business and investments are doing great - if you have a rate for regulars it could be a great deal for both of us ('If I win my office fantasy football league maybe I can swing another half-hour in a few months')
Providers:
- I'm just doing this to save money for college ('I make five times what the average college grad does and am never setting foot in a classroom again, but I know what you upper-middle class guys want to hear')
- I'm totally independent ('My pimp is getting high in the next room')
- I wish I met more guys like you in real life - tell me more about yourself ('If I can keep the chit-chat going for five more minutes he won't have time for a second pop')
- I'm meeting so many great guys - you never know what might happen if I meet a special one ('My boyfriend gets out of jail in two months')
- You should call me again soon ('Time for another out-of-town tour')
Comment, add your own, or ignore...
but that's OK. The cynic says one thing while meaning another, but the hypocrite says one thing then does another.
I'll take the former over the latter any day.
At least it usually brings about a smile or two.
You forgot the old "I'll be in touch with you again real soon." (Translation: You are never going to hear from me ever again.)
What she's really thinking: "Maybe now he'll stop that lousy DATY technique before he eats my clit off."
-- Modified on 11/12/2014 9:56:39 AM
When I'm calling their cell phone after hanging out in the lobby for a half hour after our appointment.
8o)
Your time is almost up sir.
funny how that works.
she starts getting off RIGHT when I'm ready to blow
Then I use..."can't touch me anymore, too sensitive". It really is so he leaves it alone after the rough rubbing or licking...it really does get sensitive and yes, I say please be gentle...gentle is subjective when it comes to men. Some are used to almost yanking off their dicks when masturbating.
yep, so do I. only with a particular lady that I dont see anymore
I just want to get out of here.
exactly the same here as IRL:
1. You are such a great cook! (Can I put this crap in the potted plant without being noticed?)
2. I love your new hairstyle! (On a poodle)
3. That's a great idea! (You phucking moron)
4. I'd love your help! (Should have brought a cot, this'll take forever now)
The thing is, we can have have fun with them but we probably shouldn't knock them too much. How many folks have zero social skills (and friends or IRL dates) because they can't or won't speak as if people's feelings matter, as if relationships matter?
Speaking responsibly is a skill of the socially adept. Honesty is not precluded when the feelings of others are considered and cared for when speaking.
I tell "special" clients they have a great cock... And they think I am lying! But I do mean it! Some cocks are better than others, look better, feel better in your mouth, make your vagina quiver with every stroke... Being a dick connoisseur, well it's my job too, LOL, so I see cocks all the time. When I see a nice once and one that I like to enjoy myself with I am gonna tell ya. If not, I won't say anything.
What I won't do is embellish on penis size. Like really? Why say a 5" is a monster? Not even close. And let's not talk about the lil ones that want to do doggie... And the mandingos that want greek...
Provider:
I could never do this if I had a boyfriend. I'm not that kind of girl. (Until he finds out then I'm screwed)
I don't have a drinking problem, or a drug problem, or I can take it or leave it. No one feels the need to explain their drinking or drug use until they know they have a problem. So the translation is: Yeah, I drink way too much, but I am not ready to go to AA quite yet, so just STFU about it.
There are studies on what people perceive as lies and how they react to them. My favorite, (translation: the most idiotic) was about how people perceive flattery versus criticism. Most people believe negative stuff about themselves and see most positive comments as false. Yet we are drawn to flatterers. So some sociologists spent years studying this phenomenon, trying to figure out why people were drawn to others who they perceived as lying to them and did not like the people they saw as more truthful.
They came up with this explanation that it was about status, perceived power, and all sorts of other social shit, when the answer is obvious - would you rather be with someone saying nasty shit to you, or nice things? Sometimes we make things way too hard.
So, despite being a fat, grumpy, old guy, I much prefer to be with a provider who will tell me I look great, am sexy as hell, and that my big hard cock makes her feel better than she ever has felt before. And I will tell her she is the most wonderful and beautiful woman I have ever met. Maybe each us will even believe what we are saying, and what the other is saying for a brief moment. That is a good time.
have a good day (translation: leave me the fuck alone now, I am outta here),
zig
How do the AA people explain it when a non drinker claims to not have a drinking problem? lmao
...and I agree that the simple answer is who do you like to be with more. But the status thing is real. You listen to the person who flatters you, and that gives him or her status in your eyes because his opinion (and hence his approval) becomes important to you. What if the tune changed?
As far as the exchange of false compliments he described, that's just part of the fantasy where suspension of disbelief is the given for most of us.
= She's drug and drama free at this moment, 15 minutes from now is anyone's guess!
The drug free comment in ads always makes me think of this! It cracks me up.
-- Modified on 11/12/2014 11:01:51 AM
Yes! I have always laughed at this one too! Why would you even be thinking of drugs and drama when marketing UNLESSSSSSSSS
Time and companionship (lessons in foreign languages and horseback riding)
Ever wonder what the Greeks call it? I know they don't like the Turks so my money is on Turkey. Just threw up in my mouth a little ... recalled that pic of Miley "Circus" at the MTV awards ...
False = Of course, you were awesome
Reality = not in this life time, you almost rubbed my pussy raw and you have BO.
I tell you I lie more here than anywhere else in real life.
were untrue. You're really a sweetie underneath that hard shell, aren't you?
Well I must intervene please, must be the demographics perhaps? Most of the providers now a days and the ones that I have met or associate myself with are college educated, have no pimps, and have normal lives with a wild kink side for adventure... And I do agree with a few from the clients list, that have me giggling. Lies, lies, tsk, tsk...