nd people ask why we hobby..................
I was glad it was Thursday, just one more day until the weekend. Lisa and I sat on the couch and ate our dinner, as usual. I started to ponder the possibility that I could actually be getting tired of Lisa. The phone rang, annoyingly; I got up and looked at the Caller I.D. It read "Huntington, A."
During high school I knew a Huntington, M. She wasn't stupid and wasn't a bitch. She was a good friend. A good friend that I had a profound attraction to that I did nothing about. In the end, the pressure from my friends is what deterred me.
"Hi... is this the Wallace's residence?"
One thing led to another and two old friends decide for a Friday night dinner and movie. Although my girlfriend may have been concerned, she didn't show it.
I was nervous. So fu*king nervous. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. I just kept trying to tell myself "Calm down jackass, you have a girlfriend, this isn't a date".
"Have a good time honey" my girlfriend said as I kissed her goodbye. I drove off and picked up my date.
I mean my friend.
During our drive to Red Lobster we reminisced about the old times. Like the confused look on her face the first time I passed her a bong after many "Oh, yeah, sure, I've hit a bong before" discussions. It was fun, good clean fun. The attraction between us was still there.
At dinner it was more of the same, except this time I got a good hard look at her. Jesus, she was beautiful. I never thought that I would want a nice piece of ass that wasn't Joan as much as this. She must have felt the same way; her eyes were piercing me as she would rub her foot along my leg. I tried to hold back my smile as I stared back.
"Calm down jackass, you have a girlfriend, this isn't a date"
As we were leaving the restaurant I trailed behind her a little to get a nice look at her ass. Damn, it was still perfect. I wanted to rush her into the car and fu*k her brains out.
I managed to calm myself down and we headed to the movie theatre. We decided on "Snatch". It had been out for a while and was a very funny movie.
We entered a little late, but the theatre was completely empty. Naturally, we sat in the top row in the middle. Tension was a little high, we had already talked about everything that we possibly could. She lifted up the arm rest between us, scooted closer to me, and put her head on my shoulder. I breathed deeply.
The movie started and the theatre was still empty. I knew that if I was going to be unfaithful, this would be the best opportunity to do so. Now is the time to have the best sex of my life.
I made no moves, it felt like high school again. She knew that she had to get things going. I felt her lift her head up and whisper in my ear.
"Would it be ok... if I.... kissed your neck?"
I was speechless. I couldn't bring myself to say no or yes.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Her kisses were nice and soft. It roused me like nothing else ever before. I heard her laughing at me. She knew I was enjoying it. I tried watching the movie, but my attention stayed with her. She went for my zipper and this is when I objected.
"Ok, ok, I can't do this.. I just can't, my g-g-irlfriend, I wouldn't be able to face her. I'm sorry."
I was good at ruining perfect evenings.
We left the movie theatre and after fifteen minutes of awkward silence in the car, I dropped her off at her house. When I drove away, I felt a new sense of pride. I did it, I actually managed to be faithful. It was obvious to me that my girlfriend and I would be together for a very long time. We have been planning to get married, so I dropped by the nearest jewelry store and bought the rock I have been saving up for. I planned out everything as I drove home. Lisa was going to be happily surprised.
I sat in the car, re-thinking everything through my mind. I wanted to make sure that this was the right decision for me.
I stood in front of our apartment and entered. Nothing. All the lights were off and I didn't see her anywhere. It was late, so I figured she could be sleeping.
I kneeled in front of the bedroom door, held the rock up, closed my eyes, and slowly opened the door.
When the door was all the way open, I opened my eyes and said "Lisa, will you marr---"
She was on her knees getting fu*ked by a big black cock
You should have let the movie girl have her way. When you feel like it's time to bolt, there is usually a reason. You walked in on yours.
sorry. I didnt understand your response. Can You clarify??
XDOG
I guess the closet racist in him had to make it a black cock for some kind of "shock value". The only was just how lame this "story" was. I hope the OP doesn't give up his day job. What a waste of thirty seconds reading that piece of drivel and another thirty second writing a response panning it. One full minute of my life that I will never get back. lol
I happen to overhear self proclaimed straight guys(I assume they are straight) not that orientation is the issue., taking about cocks. When sex isn't even being discussed, and it's usually white guys talking about black cocks.
I ask them, "What is up with you and black cock?" Mostly because I wonder why they are talking about cock?... and why is the cock black? These guys usually answer with some lame joke of a response, or a splodge sound effect... as if I'm some how off base, with wondering why they are thinking about black cock.
I like pussy, and I also like black pussy. I don't like black pussy more than I like white pussy, because pussy is pussy.
Gambler although it was lame,the story was similar to LL cool J's story in his song "big ole butt". In fact the story looks like it could of been based on the song predicated on the way that he was looking at the booty in Red Lobster. Then it also finishes with the Biz Markie reference of when he busted his girl but it is slightly more graphic. Then you have the reference to the comedian Bill Bellamy when he always said in Brother's with a feather duster up your ass in much the same way the poster is infatuated with the Big Black cock reference.
is that you ate at the Red L*bster. BTW, would the protagonist in this story have felt better if it had been a big wh*te cock?
The Red L*bster thing was the first thing that hit me, too.
The Red Lobster thing would have been the worst, but then I read the supposed "punch line" about the black cock and it made me forget all about how lame the Red Lobster part of the story was.
So I guess I have to agree that the Red Lobster thing was the first thing to hit me, but disagree that it was the worst thing about that truly lame post
subtly, maybe not so well, but yes that is what is so offensive about the otherwise merely insipid story.
Which, I might add, sounds like it was copied straight out of Readers Digest Humor in Uniform....
I like Red Lobster! 
I hadn't even read that far the first time. I had to go back and read further after all these comments.
Just a poor work of fiction, or even a poor work of non fiction for those who believed the story. I still think it has no business on this general board, and belongs on the erotic highway or literature board, but I hardly think "Red Lobster" is the worst of it.
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 4:26:00 PM
You live in a place with some of the best seafood on the planet, and you go to Red Lobster? That is just sad.
I go to McDonalds too. So?
Paradise is being wasted on you my fried.
PS has been in the sun too long and he fried his brains! LMAO!
I guess I'm supposed to just hang out at the beach and eat fish and poi every day?
Oh, and I like pussy too
Who lives in the 50th state? Say it ain't so PS!
;-0
Steph
What the hell's wrong with Red Lobster?
I hsd to look it up to believe there was a damn Red Lobster anywhere in Hawaii...ON WAKIKI BEACH??? I'm DONE. Just humor me and say you only go for the snow crab legs, and I think I'll get over it!
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 8:17:45 PM
And I love crab legs...but I also like their coconut shrimp, salmon, and many other things on the Red Lobster menu
Also what does your girl fucking a big black dick have to do with anything?
I really though you were going to fuck your high school girlfriend!
If I felt like that and don't know you, how do you think your girlfriend felt when you left to met the other woman?
So she did what you didn't do and it's called karma.
Just keep you mouth shut and be discreet next time.
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 1:19:01 PM
Surprised that you were the only one dumb enough to actually believe this fictitious sob story that is.
Come on fess up there bigdumbass, you are here just to steal the SPOTY from Fungy, aren't you? Please tell me you aren't really this stupid, and all of your stupid posts are just an act to win the coveted SPOTY, right? Because if you are truly as stupid as your posts, I honestly don't know how you manage to turn your computer on in the morning, or does your mommy do it for you? BTW, does she know what you are really doing down in the basement when you tell her you are doing your homework?
I started thinking it was a DC-type parody but it never went there. Also, it was way too long so I scrolled through most of it until I got to the BBC ending, at which point it was all too obvious.
H+T=, you are charmingly gullible. LOL!
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 7:11:36 PM
sed on your board persona I was shocked you swallowed this. Kudos to you for owning up.
Hairy Dong Story.
This guy or anybody else in this hobby, should learn discretion!
So what's wrong with that asshole, or are you too busy trying to stick up for your butt buddy.
I can have fun, but some of you guys on here are bitches.
It's no wonder, some providers think men go both ways by the way you act. Lol
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 2:31:29 PM
Do you take it without lube?
That would be impressive!
So what is wrong with that asshole, or are you too busy trying to stick up for your butt buddy.
I can have fun, but some of you guys on here are bitches.
It's no wonder, some providers think men go both ways by the way you act. Lol
You would never ask that question, if you read my other comments.
So I am strickly only into pussy.
I can tell that is hard for you to understand with the way you asked the question. Lol
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 2:15:59 PM
However this doesn't seem to be the best reference material
Just like to make stupid comments and run to your boyfriends for back up.Lol
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 2:25:05 PM
I also now know that you like to be around male bitches.
I'm not surprised.
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 2:25:05 PM
Go bigguy! Next, you could call him a.. Poopie Head!
Don't tell him I gave you that one. Okay?
Shhh.. Be discreet..
Now you are on the road to cool.
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 5:00:42 PM
I think everyone on this website hopes for someone to post a knockout punch post that shuts you up permanently. I think there are a few chronic posters who seem smart and witty enough to pull it off. I don't claim to be one of them by a long shot. But I have opened a few of the likely candidate's posts hoping to see just that...only to see you come right back with the same ridiculous, nonsensical remarks post after post.
I have drawn the unfortunate conclusion that, if you stay around, that's the best you'll ever offer here. Ergo, you simply subtract from the entire website, rather than add even a tiny morsel. As one poster put it recently, you literally suck the air of this entire experience.
It's hard to believe someone like you could ever cobble together enough money to afford the experience, affectionately known as 'the hobby', and if you somehow manage to do so, I feel sincerely sorry for the woman who you trick into seeing you.
Please try to grow up a little, ok? Just a little. Sometimes admitting you're wrong, or flawed, is healthy.
So let's move on already.
You made a ass out of yourself last week, and went at it with other broad members too.
It's not one person on this broad, who has not said something stupid.
We all do and people will continue too.
I am going to keep having fun and I can laugh at myself.
So I suggest you don't take yourself so seriously either!
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 8:46:00 PM
If so, join the club because everyone else is too.
Between the GF saying have a good time, the Red Lobster thingy and then the black cock ending, I said no fking way and what a tool the OP is.
Damn, just DAMN!
Steph xoxo
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 8:10:02 PM
I read the bit about the bong, I read the part about Red Lobster I stopped reading after you got to the movie. Then I scrolled down to the end, and then saw the part about the black cock.
Did you still propose?
I feel bad now.. I'm erasing the negativity, and replacing it with titties
-- Modified on 10/28/2014 6:55:27 PM
This guy is a wannabe corny romance novel author. EOM
(but I still like Red Lobster. I don't care what you guys say! )
Clicked on the OP, recognized another novel-length post about to re-enact "The Great Railroad Disaster of 1918" and just couldn't watch the play. THEN...as I scrolled down(forever!) to get past this post, something caught my eye.
Curse you, PerfectStorm! I have naughty dreams about the "cheesy muffins" at Red Lobster! Heehee! That sounded kinda pervy and I didn't even make an effort to do so, but I digress as usual!
Love my insomnia.
Still your fan,
The Dez
P.S. Seafood, is my "crack" and without a doubt, Maui, presented the most scrumptious on the entire planet! Just don't arrive later than 7pm, as they roll the sidewalks up by 9:00 folks. I kid you not!
Hugs! P.S.!
(but I still like Red Lobster. I don't care what you guys say!
)FMF, MFM, oh, it's all so confusing (kinda like trying to remember if you like regular or diet coke).
And then of course she had to give this 3rd wheel a test run.
This was all very well-intentioned.
You blew it.
Apologize immediately, including to that big black cock.