I'm a relative newb on this board. Please forgive me if this has already been covered at length and just provide a pointer to the discussion if you can.
Please forgive the long post. If you want to skip just to the meat, simply read the last five short paragraphs.
I vastly prefer 90, 120 minute and longer appointments. Multiple reasons.
Scripts - Many providers seem to have at least one, sometimes with several versions, one hour script. If they're really good at it, there's just this very vague feeling of being on a schedule. An added layer of disconnect from the provider. If they're not great at it, you can tell right away that you're on a tightly fixed schedule and it saps the fun right out of the session. When you are there for over an hour scripts tend to become much more fluid and custom to the parties involved in my experience.
Scratching the itch - I've been an endurance athlete for most of my life. 60 minutes almost never fully scratches the itch for me. I have found that, depending on the provider, I can leave feeling much more satisfied with just an extra 30 or 60 minutes.
Connection - I find I can relax and enjoy the time much better if I am able to establish some sort of rapport with the provider. A major part of this is just doing my homework on reading reviews to see if she sounds like my "type". But the other part is just a few minutes of extra time to make sure that she can hit that relaxation point of trust (as much as you can foster in 1.5 to 2 hours - but that's a whole lot more than you can get in 60 minutes in my experience). And by trust I'm not talking about "extra services". I'm talking about harder to measure differences that might include the willingness to O or just to relax and be silly.
The connection piece is highly subjective. It's made up of things like a giggle or spontaneous laugh that doesn't feel scripted. Body language like dilated pupils, a spontaneous blush during conversation and other signs. Sometimes it's just a feeling. I know one provider who I visited for I think it was four times before she actually decided to really O with me. But there were subtle signs in that first appointment that we were having a little bit more than the usual level of fun together.
And, yes, it is entirely possible that I'm deluded. But, at a certain point, that doesn't really matter, does it?
These are just a few of my thoughts on why I prefer longer sessions. I know pretty much all of the reasons many guys prefer shorter sessions and have no problem with that. Among other things there is a certain efficient appeal to the 30 minute session.
So, if possible, I'd like to avoid all of the discussion on "just get in and get out", "you do realize this is pay for play, right?". I've heard all of that ad nauseum.
If y'all are willing, what I'd like to do is participate in a discussion that includes mongers and providers on how to make a longer session work well for both (three ways are another discussion) parties.
And, H&T, I really enjoy your contributions to the forum. I think I have your usual objection addressed by the comment above "at a certain point, that doesn't really matter". But please let me know if there is nuance that is being missed.
Please remember, my goal here is simply to find ways to make those longer sessions easier and more fun. I'd really like to hear everyone's constructive thoughts on that topic.
-- Modified on 10/23/2014 10:06:09 AM
And what makes that work is that he is sure about what he is looking for. He was not reticent in communicating his needs. I found I was more than happy to address them and found it enjoyable so a win, win.
He wants intimacy, not just the sexual intimacy, in fact that part takes up about 45 minutes of the 2 hours we are together. He was very verbal about what he needed, and that was touch, hand holding, kissing, cuddling, everything he was /is missing at home.
We go out to lunch OTC, in fact I spent 6 hours and was paid for two the last time I saw him and will do that again in the very near future. Why, because it is easy on me, I like chatting with him, we do real life stuff that he missing out on and really when I see him smile and tell me how happy he is, I feel GREAT.
I could not deal with two solid hours of sex. Mentally or physically(not even in real life), I am not made that way and make sure that I do not see guys who want that...compatibility here is key, for everything.
too much or the wrong thing can screw me up for days or in one recent case a damn month. Nothing like spending close to 3k to fix what happened on a date that cleared me $900.
I did not follow my initial instincts and paid dearly for it.
GAWD!
Steph
-- Modified on 10/23/2014 11:01:03 AM
You can say stop, you do not have to go through that much pain. This makes me sad and mad at the same time.
Now you know why I will NEVER get reviewed as I never want to be in a situation where I worry about a fucking review more than my health and well being.
Why oh why did you not terminate and get the hell out?
Nah that's impossible. You can't be THAT lucky... But I'm glad you feel great about whoever you made smile... 
And I love that I make this guy happy.
In case you didn't want to read +600 words, he wants to know how to make a 90 minute or longer session easier and more fun for both parties, but without a script.
Dude, just relax! You're there, she's there, where does the moment take you? As an endurance athlete you're accustomed to having a goal and striving for it, but BCD is about the time together and how you enjoy one another.
Here's a challenge for you that's going to seem weird, but give it a shot: set up a repeat, minimum two hours, tell her a fantasy you've had, and mention you want her to be "in charge" that entire appointment. This will take away your goal setting & reaching mentality, and force you instead to focus on the experience.
Or I'm way off base in which case the literati here will torch me for 12" of posts!
fill out a long session.
I also like to dine which is sometimes at my home and sometimes out at a restaurant.
For even longer sessions we sometimes go to a movie or show or museum. Sometimes we just get involved with long conversations.
There are many ways to enjoy someone's company, and it depends on the people to figure out how to make it work
"For even longer sessions" depends upon the size of your wallet.
Obviously, does that even need to be said? It sounds like you're already doing alright. It should get better on repeat visits. If not, keep looking for someone else whose company you enjoy and see if that connection can evolve. Rinse and repeat.
Time flies by if I connect with the client. I can't imagine anything that would make a longer session more fun, than the feeling of connectedness that you describe.
Often, I'll have an email exchange with the client beforehand. We discuss books, favorite places to travel, etc. That ensures we'll have a few topics handy if things start to get quiet.
Massages are offered as part of my sessions, and those can be great for in-between transition periods. Food works, too. If I'm hosting, I usually have some munchies on hand (lighter ones...fruit, shrimp, nuts. Nothing too heavy).
Back in the springtime, I had a client who barely talked to me. He almost fell asleep during his massage. That 2-hour appointment seemed to advance in accordance with the rule of dog years (1 hour = 7 hours).
Here's how I see the scripted routine.
There's a prelude. Most times it's chitchat and maybe some wine or fruit. It's good to get to know the person you're going to be intimate with in a few minutes.
Showering allows for hygiene concerns, provided a discreet window for you to place the envelope somewhere, gives her time to change, and leaves you emerging naked.
The kidding and caressing is like exposition to an adventure. From how you kiss each other you give your partner some idea of what to expect orally. And of course it turns the guy on.
The BJ allows the provider a chance to see what kind of shape your cock is in. She handles it first, looking for sores or any sign of STD. She takes her time with this, which increases the pleasure, and if she's uncomfortable with the idea of having it in her vagina she can relentlessly increase the intensity to get a pop.
This behind her, the positions are mish, K9, CG and if she likes the idea of enjoying herself with you she'll find a position she's comfortable with for 69. Usually she wants to keep her nose away from your asshole. This is usually the highpoint of the encounter and builds to a dramatic climax.
The aftermath might be cuddling, DATY, whatever you both want.
All that fills about an hour. Once the provider has this routine down, find how well it works, she often times is reluctant to change it much. Once in a while a provider wants to start off in K9, but that seems rare. YMMV.
In order to prolong the experience to a three hour production, massage can bridge the chitchat prelude and the kissing/cuddling exposition/ introduction. If she is a gifted masseuse, that's very enjoyable.
If the client can drag out the teasing seduction before she sucks him off its better. Note that women respond much differently to teasing than men do.
Drinking too much, IMO, lessens the performance and enjoyment ability. OTOH, one glass can help set the mood. The same moderation goes for the talk.
The first time you are with someone new has an energy of its own to be wallowed in. Repeat sessions allow for more variations on the theme(s).
It's up to the client to break up her routine, and many, many times it is more rewarding to just let her take the lead. After awhile, on first sessions, you start to evaluate her routine like you're auditioning her for a steady gig.
I've visited some girls who weren't used to the idea of mutual pleasure. "Most guys just want to do their thing and go" is a paraphrase I've heard a few times. Some of those girls have potential and it would be interesting to do repeat visits with them, but there's usually some other negative that would have to be dealt with. Usually better to seek out the girls that do hour minimum and prefer longer dates. They're more likely to have their act together and be open to mutual pleasure.
It's all about the eros. I want to be seduced with voice, finger tips, lips, eyes, tongue, legs wrapping around mine, and I want plenty of time to return the favor, kiss her neck, lick her ear, gently pet her kitty until she feels the need for something stronger. If a girl just wants me to stick it in and get it over with, I won't be back. I have on several occasions paid for an hour and walked out after 5-10 minutes minus my money.
Most of my experiences to date were BP, but I think most of the TER girls with 7.5+ on performance would be a good bet for a two hour visit. I've also noticed a correlation between looks and performance. If the performance average is 1 point higher than the looks she's probably a good bet, whether 7/8 or 8/9.
8/9 or 9/9, not a bad guess that the 8/9 probably gives better service.
As far as making a long session work a girl will either be open to her own seduction or not. Sometimes things will click and it will seem to be up too soon. If it doesn't work exactly like that it's really up to the guy to be calm and stroke the pussy right, tease her until she wants an orgasm. If she's willing and you do it wrong it's not going to happen. If she's not willing there's little that can be done. She either won't let you touch her there or the touching will be limited. She'll get ticklish and want to stop. She won't let herself get that far cause she doesn't want to loose control in that way... although that could be a sign you're going too fast or that the time constraint is on her mind. If you're doing 1 hour visits with BP girls it's good to keep that in mind.
I never do more than 1 hour with a BP girl on first visit, and if I was smart I would always do 1/2 hr and follow up proper if the signs were good. Would have saved a lot of money that way.
Less sex for more money. If a girl is seeing 5-6 guys in a day helping her get off may not be a priority. So again, unless you're feeling real adventurous, or are looking for gems in the rough, use TER along with the other client oriented sites and see girls that list multiple hour options. Tease her and slowly build arousal. From her perspective, what's not to like about you spending a couple hundred extra so you have time to please her? It's actually a complex question, but as these aren't SO relationships it's not my job to try and try with the ones who don't respond. I move along, but am not so presumptuous as to think my skills couldn't improve.
...and I agree with the OP about the "script". I don't like it and try to avoid it, but when someone only books an hour, what can you do? There isn't time for much else. My major issue is that because I also serve two niche interests- that I keep my natural body hair and that I am super into prostate exploration, most guys who come to me don't just want "the script" but they seem to want "the script" in addition to spending extended amounts of time worshipping my hairy pleasure zones and/or want to spend extended amounts of time exploring prostate pleasure. Sometimes someone really wants "the script" plus BOTH of those things if they're really into many different aspects of me. Even just getting a taste of all these elements takes more than an hour, so in cities where I have personal friends and personal business, like my home city, and some of the other cities I visit, I tend to not even offer one hour meetings anymore. I hate having to rush someone along and I also hate it when I don't try to control the pace and the guy is nowhere near ready to go at the hour mark and I have to gracefully tell him he has to go. So I prefer to not even do one hour sessions if it feels avoidable.
I can easily spend three hours getting busy with someone. Do I enjoy spending three hours giving a BJ or three hours getting rammed? Not at all. But my repertoire expands far beyond that "script" of engagement when it's allowed to fully express itself. Most of my most amazing personal hookups last around 3-5 hours so why would it be any different in this realm? Anything longer than three hours I agree can use planned breaks/snacks/etc to break up the time and keep everything flowing. For four hours or longer I usually suggest a lunch or dinner date where we can spend some time teasing each other across the table with our eyes. I love to put a small & comfortable prostate stimulation toy into someone's ass before dinner and giggle as they discreetly experience that pleasure throughout the dinner. I love to talk about sexuality and my sensual interests, and the right restaurant setting where we have enough privacy to discuss such subjects is perfect for that. If we are staying in due to a gentle men's need for discretion or merely his preference to not have a break in the intimacy, I like to incorporate foodplay into our playtime together as hinted at by my picnic photoseries with Tori and the chocolate fountain video that I shot this spring. I'm very into incorporating fruit juices with play as they often make for nice lubricant (not in the pussy tho, which doesn't like sugar) and are pretty easy to clean up compared to whipped cream or melted chocolate. For me, food and sex are two major loves/passions of mine, so it's really fun to mix them and enjoy that combination with someone else. To me, sensuality is a realm with lots of room for creativity, and I never mind having extra time to explore with each other!
To the OP, I appreciate your attitude about longer sessions and I bet you're doing just fine as far as making them enjoyable. Do you feel like you're struggling with that or are you just seeking to hear others' experiences? I think overall, when doing a longer session, be prepared to take breaks and for there to be natural lulls in the action as there are in most extended hookups. But it sounds like you already expect that and enjoy the more relaxed pace for the additional intimacy it allows for, which I agree is always a great reason to book extra time, especially if you think you're really going to connect with a gal.
Some guys wait months and months for me to visit and just think I'm the most amazing girl ever and then only book an hour, and it never seems like it is quite enough for them. It makes me sad to someone to leave me unsatisfied (it's why I'm a provider and not a stripper), but I feel taken advantage of when someone books an hour and assumes that it's okay to stay 90 minutes without compensating me, so alas for the sustainability of my enjoyment of my work, I unfortunately must say adieu to those who only book an hour at the end of their time. I rarely think it makes sense when someone books an hour with me unless they are truly a busy dude with no time and they are usually out the door in less than an hour despite my efforts to lure them to stay. I'm definitely considering not even offering hour sessions anymore before long. It's working great for me in NYC. I'd rather only meet 2-3 guys in 2 days for longer engagements than see 4-6 guys in 2 days for one hour sessions anyway, so it's pretty appealing and I appreciate whenever someone books more than an hour even when it's not a requirement. If someone books me for 4-6 hours then I usually don't need to see any other clients that day to make my goal and will turn down other inquiries, so booking more time also allows me to focus more or all of my energy and attention on providing an amazing experience for someone as well.
My ATF and I not uncommonly have nearly non-stop sex for 90 minutes (that includes her O). We slow down after that. There are a couple of other providers that are fine with that level of action as well.
My problem is that sometimes I end up with a "softer" provider who really doesn't like or possibly even can't handle much more than 30 minutes of sex. Don't get me wrong. I think they are beautiful and sweet and enjoy my time with them. But I really need to get better at coming up with ways to spend the time together when I find myself with a provider who isn't a perfect sexual match for me.
I am very careful and have yet to actually hurt anyone. Though I did come close once. But that was both an endurance and a size mismatch. We were going along seemingly fine, not even close to getting carried away, until she suddenly yelled "ouch" (and yes we were using lube). Still, it worked out and she was OK. Though I have no interest in seeing her again even though, other than the mismatch issues, I really enjoyed her company. She's probably grateful to not have to deal with me again.
Does that make sense or do I need to give a better explanation?
I can easily spend three hours getting busy with someone. Do I enjoy spending three hours giving a BJ or three hours getting rammed? Not at all. But my repertoire expands far beyond that "script" of engagement when it's allowed to fully express itself. Most of my most amazing personal hookups last around 3-5 hours so why would it be any different in this realm? Anything longer than three hours I agree can use planned breaks/snacks/etc to break up the time and keep everything flowing. For four hours or longer I usually suggest a lunch or dinner date where we can spend some time teasing each other across the table with our eyes. I love to put a small & comfortable prostate stimulation toy into someone's ass before dinner and giggle as they discreetly experience that pleasure throughout the dinner. I love to talk about sexuality and my sensual interests, and the right restaurant setting where we have enough privacy to discuss such subjects is perfect for that. If we are staying in due to a gentle men's need for discretion or merely his preference to not have a break in the intimacy, I like to incorporate foodplay into our playtime together as hinted at by my picnic photoseries with Tori and the chocolate fountain video that I shot this spring. I'm very into incorporating fruit juices with play as they often make for nice lubricant (not in the pussy tho, which doesn't like sugar) and are pretty easy to clean up compared to whipped cream or melted chocolate. For me, food and sex are two major loves/passions of mine, so it's really fun to mix them and enjoy that combination with someone else. To me, sensuality is a realm with lots of room for creativity, and I never mind having extra time to explore with each other!
To the OP, I appreciate your attitude about longer sessions and I bet you're doing just fine as far as making them enjoyable. Do you feel like you're struggling with that or are you just seeking to hear others' experiences? I think overall, when doing a longer session, be prepared to take breaks and for there to be natural lulls in the action as there are in most extended hookups. But it sounds like you already expect that and enjoy the more relaxed pace for the additional intimacy it allows for, which I agree is always a great reason to book extra time, especially if you think you're really going to connect with a gal.
Some guys wait months and months for me to visit and just think I'm the most amazing girl ever and then only book an hour, and it never seems like it is quite enough for them. It makes me sad to someone to leave me unsatisfied (it's why I'm a provider and not a stripper), but I feel taken advantage of when someone books an hour and assumes that it's okay to stay 90 minutes without compensating me, so alas for the sustainability of my enjoyment of my work, I unfortunately must say adieu to those who only book an hour at the end of their time. I rarely think it makes sense when someone books an hour with me unless they are truly a busy dude with no time and they are usually out the door in less than an hour despite my efforts to lure them to stay. I'm definitely considering not even offering hour sessions anymore before long. It's working great for me in NYC. I'd rather only meet 2-3 guys in 2 days for longer engagements than see 4-6 guys in 2 days for one hour sessions anyway, so it's pretty appealing and I appreciate whenever someone books more than an hour even when it's not a requirement. If someone books me for 4-6 hours then I usually don't need to see any other clients that day to make my goal and will turn down other inquiries, so booking more time also allows me to focus more or all of my energy and attention on providing an amazing experience for someone as well.
she's worth spending the money on a 3-4 hr date( or longer yikes!)
Therefore, I would never make an appoinment that long on a first meeting. of course,the ladies would prefer it as they are "working" less.
BTW, the best time i ever had was a 1 hour appt. but that was the 3rd time seeing her.
-- Modified on 10/23/2014 6:39:00 PM
One of my best was a 1 hour, and it was a first visit. I couldn't remember my name for several days. She was a 20 year old bisexual nympho with more experience than she should have had. It didn't work out long term, but it was good til we got to know each other.
interesting what we find out without our rose colored glasses on. At least you got something out of it.
This happened to me with my first provider. if i would have known what i found out later i never would have wasted my time /money on her
I used to see a FBSM + extras Gal... We'd have a session for which I paid generously. I'd shop on the way, take lunch fixings & we'd play house... it was only possible as we were at her home. It was a nice interlude. It's over now...
to allow plenty of time for just about any kind of activity, including mutual b2b massage/nuru (and what flows naturally from that), with warm-up and clean-up, and breaks to catch our breaths and refreshments.
But with my atf, 2 hours isn't long enough. Overnight isn't long enough. Best time ever with her was a weekend, but she has an SO now so she doesn't do those or overnights with clients anymore. She's just that much fun to be with, whether it's sex in various forms or massaging each other or lying together, bodies intertwined, or seeing the sights or talking about a wide range of topics (she's a smart, well-read woman).
If it's not clear yet, I've never been very good at the "just get in and get out" scenario.
Note to forum: the topic of long appts is a valid one, and some of the replies were interesting. But I doubt that's what this thread is really about. For the OP, the long appt is symptomatic of a more serious issue. --
I'm always open to that kind of self examination. But I don't think that is the case here. Just trying to maximize the fun wherever I am and whoever I am with. Stated another way, my entire goal is to *not* make it about making every experience the same as the type I have with my ATF. That is just too limiting.
Ah, no. I think there's just one big reason. See your post below from a previous thread:
Once I read your "declaration of love", made just two weeks ago, I had to rethink this entire thread. You're in love--and your constant mention of your provider's 'O' (or what you think is her 'O') shifts the focus from long appts back to you. This thread is about you trying to justify spending a fortune on this provider you're in love with.
Note to forum: the topic of long appts is a valid one, and some of the replies were interesting. But I doubt that's what this thread is really about. For the OP, the long appt is symptomatic of a more serious issue. --z
Let's review: Being in love with your provider has nothing-to-do with booking multi-hour appts with her (?) Those two items are hard to separate. It's like the "corpse on the tennis court"--it's hard to keep playing without noticing that. I'm skeptical regarding your claim of booking multi-hour sessions with various providers. I think we both know where most of your money is going.
Clients do book multi-hour sessions for a variety of reasons. And it's a valid topic for a thread. But most clients aren't in love with their provider. If you had stated your 'declaration of love' at the beginning of this thread, I think you would've gotten very different responses from many of the people who've already posted. --
Sorry. No conspiracy.
I'm rotating primarily between 5 providers right now, including my ATF. The #4 position in my rotation is a "wild card" and alternates between those I would like to see and those I might decide I haven't seen in too long. I see my ATF about twice a month. Sometimes less.
So, sure. I do love her. I'm not *in* *love* with her, though. She's a beautiful, wonderful woman who knows how to ring my bell just about every time. And she's a lot of fun out of the sack, too.
At some point my ATF is going to move on and I'll never see her again. I'm sure I will always miss her after that happens. Just like when other friends have moved on and lost contact. If I don't actively seek to develop good relationships with other providers on the other hand, my fear is that I will become too dependent on my relationship with my ATF. That won't be good for either of us.
Can we stick to the topic of this thread, please? I don't see how having an ATF I have been seeing for over a year changes my genuine and demonstrated interest on being able to have a good time with other providers. But I do appreciate your concern. And truly thank everyone for their valuable feedback. I ask that you don't get too hung up with superimposing your world view onto my experience. We're all different.
Let's review: Being in love with your provider has nothing-to-do with booking multi-hour appts with her (?) Those two items are hard to separate. It's like the "corpse on the tennis court"--it's hard to keep playing without noticing that. I'm skeptical regarding your claim of booking multi-hour sessions with various providers. I think we both know where most of your money is going.
Clients do book multi-hour sessions for a variety of reasons. And it's a valid topic for a thread. But most clients aren't in love with their provider. If you had stated your 'declaration of love' at the beginning of this thread, I think you would've gotten very different responses from many of the people who've already posted. --z
so I'm limited to about one a month. I like 90 minute sessions, if they are available.