The 5 questions most feared by men  are:

1.      What are you thinking  about?
2.      Do you love  me?
3.      Do I look  fat?
4.      Do you think she is prettier than  me?
5.      What would you do if I  died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is  guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers  incorrectly (i.e.,tells the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each  question is
analyzed  below, along with possible  responses.
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Question  # 1:  What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of  course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting  on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you  are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response  obviously bears no resemblance to the
true answer, which most likely is  one of the following:
a.       Baseball.
b.       Football.
c.      How fat you  are.
d.      How much prettier she is than  you.
e.      How I would spend the insurance  money if you died.
Perhaps the best response to this question was  offered
by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to
know what  I was thinking, I would be talking to  you."
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Question  # 2:  Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you  feel a
more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate  responses include:
a.   Oh Yeah,  shit-loads.
b.   Would it make you feel better if I said  yes?
c.   That depends on what you mean by  love.
d.   Does it matter?
e.   Who,  me?
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Question  # 3:  Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of  course not!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
a.    Compared to what?
b.   I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not  exactly thin.
c.   A little extra weight looks good on  you.
d.   I've seen fatter.
e.   Could you repeat  the question?  I was just thinking about how I would spend the  insurance money if you  died.
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Question  # 4:  Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the  proper response is an emphatic:
"Of course not!"
Incorrect  responses include:
a.   Yes, but you have a better  personality
b.   Not prettier, but definitely  thinner
c.   Not as pretty as you when you were her  age
d.   Define pretty
e.   Could you repeat the  question?  I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance  money if you  died.
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Question  # 5:  What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win  question.  (The real answer, ofcourse, is "Buy a Corvette and a  boat").
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for  at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these  lines:
WOMAN:  Would you get married  again?
MAN:    Definitely not!
WOMAN:  Why  not-don't you like being married?
MAN:    Of course I  do.
WOMAN:  Then why wouldn't you  remarry?
MAN: OK,I'd get married again
WOMAN:  You would? (with a hurtful look on her  face)
MAN: ( makes audible groan )
WOMAN:  Would you  sleep with her in our bed?
MAN:    Where else would we  sleep?
WOMAN:  Would you put away my pictures, and  replace them with pictures of her?
MAN:    That  would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN:  And would you  let her use my golf clubs?
MAN:    She can't use them;  she's left-handed.
WOMAN:  - - - silence - -
MAN:     shit.