TER General Board

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hbyist+truth=;( 1303 reads
posted

I was replying more to you than her statement. I did agree with some of the more general things she mentioned because you and a couple of others seem to think because you pay, it has to be your way.

I pay to go out to dinner however that does not mean I can do whatever I want inside the restaurant or treat the staff like shit. I am a paying customer but there are rules on how to behave and even the dishes I order are a set amount, I just can';t walk in and slap money down and get anything I want. Possibly not the best analogy but have somewhere to be in a few.  

The way I see it, because this business does not have set menus and amounts of time each item is done a lady can decide how much she wants/needs to do in to stay in business. That is where she picks her clients well in order to get the type she can deal with.  

Do you honestly think I would entertain the thought of seeing a guy who wants to pound me into the mattress for 59 minutes when I can see a guy who wants sex but for a much more reasonable time ( my reasonable that is)? Yeah he is paying but I can and will limit how much wear and tear I allow. That's what tricks don't like. But it is a part of the business that we do have control over. You tricks can vote with your dollars, but for every trick that passes a hooker can catch a guy who suits her. I know, I do it every week.

I seem to have a good business relationship with the guys I see and as far as I know none feel that bad about it, they keep coming back. And if you want to call them saps or losers, that's on you, they can't hear you, and I still get paid.  

I see absolutely no point in working that hard when I can get paid the same amount for less wear and tear. This I feel is what irks some of you tricks, that we don't HAVE to and that we do have a say, even though you pay.

I saw a posting of a provider who was quite attractive from her photos.  Unfortunately she did not have any reviews so we texted each other and I was hoping to understand what activities she was comfortable doing.  As you might suspect, we didn't really get anywhere.  She simply quoted her services as "GFE".  Those who have hobbied for any length of time know that GFE means different things to different people, providers and hobbyists alike.  As I thought back to my late teens and early adult life, I thought about what Girl Friend Experience meant to me.  Back then, as now, meant 1) a girl who would kiss open mouthed with tongue, 2) a girl who I could perform cunnilingus on, 3) a girl who would perform fellatio on me and either swallow or spit afterwards, 4) a girl who loved to fu**, 5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places, 6) who was up for multiple rounds and 7) would consider a trip to greece.  Now some of you might have the same list, or less, or perhaps even more.  But I always thought my list was the kind of stuff that if you had a decent girlfriend she would be up for.

So then I got to thinking: why not develop a poll on TER where each of these items is listed.  We vote on them.  If at least 51% of the votes are for it, then it makes it on the list.  Then TER posts the list as the official TER definition of a GFE.  Maybe we have a GFE+ and a PSE list too.  Then when a hobbyist is texting a provider and she says she is GFE or PSE we can direct her to the official list and ask if she meets the official TER list.  Otherwise its not a GFE experience.  And we can get some consistency in definitions of activities.

Is it worthwhile to propose this to TER?

And pretending to be one with a trick are two different things.  

Try it and see. Won't make an ounce of difference to my menu...it will always stay the same.

DamienScott1551 reads

Huh I figured there'd be no difference for you between the two.  

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
And pretending to be one with a trick are two different things.  
   
 Try it and see. Won't make an ounce of difference to my menu...it will always stay the same.

I just said there is a distinct difference. Drick!

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
I just said there is a distinct difference. Drick!
Drickitude: when dricks get sassy. Based on Andre Leon Talley's "dreckitude." (see below)

DamienScott1474 reads

And that's why I feigned surprise. Alway thought you were an equal opportunity MH.  

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
I just said there is a distinct difference. Drick!

DamienScott1395 reads

Perfect! Thanks!

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
And that covers you quite well.

JackDunphy1137 reads

Here's the problem and I have stated it before. Many girls want the GFE label for advertising/marketing reasons but don't wish to perform the acts most of us consider to be GFE. The old "I want my cake and eat it too" scenario.  

Some of the softer guys here give them cover too by saying "GFE isn't really menu based, but its more atmosphere and approach and style." I call bullshit on that.

If a girl isn't going to do DFK, BBBJ, allow me to dine at the Y and covered FS, then that no GFE experience. Most of my civie GF's were never into anal so I exclude that one from my GFE definition.  

In other words it isn't in the girls best interests, with too many corroborative johns to back them up and provide cover, for this to go anywhere. Great idea but has zero chance of happening.

First flaw - none of my girlfriends (and few of my friends girlfriends for that matter from what I've been told) consider Greek, especially not right away.

Second flaw - a real civvie type GF expects you to talk with them for quite a bit before, after and sometimes during sex.  You don't mention chat time or cuddling in your definition.  Now in the hobby, chat can get in the way, as can excessive cuddling, so I'm OK with having that as YMMV.  But as you say, GFE means different things to different people.

Otherwise, I think your description is spot on.

 

Posted By: munchinmuffin
I saw a posting of a provider who was quite attractive from her photos.  Unfortunately she did not have any reviews so we texted each other and I was hoping to understand what activities she was comfortable doing.  As you might suspect, we didn't really get anywhere.  She simply quoted her services as "GFE".  Those who have hobbied for any length of time know that GFE means different things to different people, providers and hobbyists alike.  As I thought back to my late teens and early adult life, I thought about what Girl Friend Experience meant to me.  Back then, as now, meant 1) a girl who would kiss open mouthed with tongue, 2) a girl who I could perform cunnilingus on, 3) a girl who would perform fellatio on me and either swallow or spit afterwards, 4) a girl who loved to fu**, 5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places, 6) who was up for multiple rounds and 7) would consider a trip to greece.  Now some of you might have the same list, or less, or perhaps even more.  But I always thought my list was the kind of stuff that if you had a decent girlfriend she would be up for.  
   
 So then I got to thinking: why not develop a poll on TER where each of these items is listed.  We vote on them.  If at least 51% of the votes are for it, then it makes it on the list.  Then TER posts the list as the official TER definition of a GFE.  Maybe we have a GFE+ and a PSE list too.  Then when a hobbyist is texting a provider and she says she is GFE or PSE we can direct her to the official list and ask if she meets the official TER list.  Otherwise its not a GFE experience.  And we can get some consistency in definitions of activities.  
   
 Is it worthwhile to propose this to TER?

I was a pimple-faced kid in high school and I never had a GFE. My first sexual experience was at a brothel in one of the Asian countries I visited during my overseas time during the war. Had quite a few of those. Came home and then got married to a nice Christian lady I didn't fuck until after we were married.

So the GFE concept has some appeal to me as in "ask a girl out and eventually fuck" which is something I never really did. I've only had a few of these types of sessions where you actually talk like real people, drink some wine, and then fuck but I have really enjoyed it.

-- Modified on 10/10/2014 2:36:24 PM

The real problem is the GFE is not really a girl friend experience. If you want that you have to take them out for dinner or at least some drinks, do a lot of talking (as pointed out above) and then 'hope' you get lucky. The main reason I love the hobby is I don't have to do any of that. I pay my dues for time and then just enjoy myself.  And, I hate to say it, but I don't really have to worry if she has an 'O'. And, most important, I don't have to ask her if it 'was good for you?' and I don't have to send flowers after and I especially don't have to call her the next day.

It appears from reading many posts that guys want it both ways. They want both a hooker and a girl friend in the same person. That ain't going to happen unless you're one in a million and happen to click. Pretty much like winning the lottery.  How many guys have 'fallen in love' because they thought that the gal really liked them, and then were devastated because she was just being a really good GFE hooker. That wasn't her fault if she advertised GFE.  

When I first started out that was what I was looking for. I learned fast. Now all I want is a pleasant lady who will make me feel really good. If she wants an orgasm, she can get out her vibrator after I leave. (Or, as one did, while I was there watching.)  

just my $.02 worth

GFE was pretty much just number 1) on your list.   Of course now, it's a little different.  Most providers do go somewhat further down on your GFE list as you defined it.    However, I think many of us look for and enjoy some type of what's called a "connection" or how well we "fit" together.   That may not mean a lot to someone who is simply concerned about the physical aspect of the encounter,  and sometimes that's just what we want,  however the emotional and left side of the brain is very powerful as well!   And that, unfortunately can't be inferred from polls, lists, or even reviews.    

Also, a poll about what GFE means would not be too reliable coming from a fuck board.

Posted By: munchinmuffin
5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places
When I was in my late teens, a boyfriend thought it'd be cool to stick his finger up my ass despite my strict "no butt stuff" rule. He got an elbow to the mouth.

I trust this wasn't Ray Rice?  ;)

Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
   
Posted By: munchinmuffin
5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places
   
 When I was in my late teens, a boyfriend thought it'd be cool to stick his finger up my ass despite my strict "no butt stuff" rule. He got an elbow to the mouth.

But no, not Ray Rice. No TKOs in an elevator for me.  

Posted By: Dr Who revived
I trust this wasn't Ray Rice?  ;)  
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
     
Posted By: munchinmuffin
5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places
 
     
  When I was in my late teens, a boyfriend thought it'd be cool to stick his finger up my ass despite my strict "no butt stuff" rule. He got an elbow to the mouth.

watching him "splain" it to the judge exactly how he got the busted lip.

Don't get too close to Tobi's butt hole while worshiping said butt. Haha

I must say, I enjoy swollen lips from prolonged daty, but I think I'll pass on the fat lip from an elbow.

All kidding aside, I agree, I'm not much of an asshole play fan. I love to worship a beautiful ass (yours, Mimi's, Court's and Rasha's come to mind, but there are certainly others). But the butt hole itself does nothing for me, giving and especially receiving

NewEnglandGangsta1055 reads

True dat. I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. LOL

Posted By: NewEnglandGangsta
True dat. I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. LOL
Some guys just can't handle a woman who's smarter than they are. It's okay.

My wife of 35 years is much smarter than me; I can handle that--why not??  I love smart, educated women!

Posted By: smallsteps
My wife of 35 years is much smarter than me; I can handle that--why not??  I love smart, educated women!

A gal once said that about me.  But I'm nothing special.  

However, let me just say that women here, in general, are very understanding.   Women often times have a great perspective and insight on things guys just don't see.

Get close to Tobi's butt hole before EVER taking advise from NewEnglandGansta!

Dude, you can't even put a coherent sentence together, I'll be damned if I ever take an ounce of advise from you. Evidently your reading skills are in line with your writing skills, take your Ebonics bullshit and leave.

Tobi is, by all accounts, an amazing woman. I look forward to spending time with her. I have however been forewarned by her post to stay away from her butt hole, I personally don't enjoy elbows to the mouth

NewEnglandGangsta1325 reads

Aww, Isn't dat special? Make sure you give her a 30% tip while you at it, brah.

What a coincidence!  I also have a 'no butt stuff' rule :)

Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
   
Posted By: munchinmuffin
5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places
   
 When I was in my late teens, a boyfriend thought it'd be cool to stick his finger up my ass despite my strict "no butt stuff" rule. He got an elbow to the mouth.

NewEnglandGangsta1474 reads

Acting ain't a bad thing though as long as she's does DFK, CIM, and acts like she into it.

I thought you already knew that!  

Posted By: NewEnglandGangsta
Acting ain't a bad thing though as long as she's does DFK, CIM, and acts like she into it.

NewEnglandGangsta1215 reads

But if I don't see any brown chocolate on my dick,  she gets a 7/6. :)

ROGM1370 reads

Not only BBFS, also BBFSCIP. This is the Ultimate Real Girlfriend Experience.

She looks a little worn out...you look happy though

I'm one of those guys who is/was looking for the GFE; in real life getting laid for me is quite easy, but I always end up paying the same amount between dinner/drinks and a room, then the girls tend to be shallow and I get bored.   Plus being married, dating single girls is a dangerous game to play, especially when they start stalking you.  (-;

So, with that said, for me, it is not a matter of whether they perform certain physical acts, it's how they make you feel and how you perceive them to feel.  Take kissing for example, something I think we can all agree is a basic tenet for a successful GFE.

Some girls will let you kiss them but it just feels wrong, forced or your just not in-sync.  When you encounter a girl who is truly enjoying it, then it feels like your making out with someone who is really into you and there is a connection, thus in turn the GFE.   However, if your not one to contribute to the moment or your just not compatible, just like in real life, your not going to get the experience.

I'll agree that a GFE goes deeper than just the physical, so them being able to hold a conversation is needed, like a courtesan.  But that too is a two way street.   Which is the basic crux of the GFE.   If your not willing to share and open up, then don't expect her to either; you just become another dick with cash attached to it for her.

Now something else to keep in mind; all because a girl is a true GFE provider to others, does not mean your going to get that same experience.   You have to remember that your dealing with human beings that your looking for a deeper connection with, and sometimes, it just does not work out; even though your paying them.

So, if your are the type that is checking off a list of things for them to do, I apologize for being blunt, but your not looking for the GFE, your looking for a girl that will do various acts regardless if she likes it or not.    The only thing you should be asking is, what does she like and how can I pleasure her.  Because in the GFE, its not all about you.  If it was, then it would be called the ME "Me Experience".

Too be even more blunt about it, if the above concept is confusing, then you are just looking for someone to act interested in having sex with you.  

And them just acting interested my friends, is NOT what GFE is all about.

Good luck and be safe.

holding a conversation or pleasing her doesnt mean she really wants to be with you.  

if anything GFE is even MORE fake than anything else.

 

Posted By: TheHotGuy2014
I'm one of those guys who is/was looking for the GFE; in real life getting laid for me is quite easy, but I always end up paying the same amount between dinner/drinks and a room, then the girls tend to be shallow and I get bored.   Plus being married, dating single girls is a dangerous game to play, especially when they start stalking you.  (-;  
   
 So, with that said, for me, it is not a matter of whether they perform certain physical acts, it's how they make you feel and how you perceive them to feel.  Take kissing for example, something I think we can all agree is a basic tenet for a successful GFE.  
   
 Some girls will let you kiss them but it just feels wrong, forced or your just not in-sync.  When you encounter a girl who is truly enjoying it, then it feels like your making out with someone who is really into you and there is a connection, thus in turn the GFE.   However, if your not one to contribute to the moment or your just not compatible, just like in real life, your not going to get the experience.  
   
 I'll agree that a GFE goes deeper than just the physical, so them being able to hold a conversation is needed, like a courtesan.  But that too is a two way street.   Which is the basic crux of the GFE.   If your not willing to share and open up, then don't expect her to either; you just become another dick with cash attached to it for her.  
   
 Now something else to keep in mind; all because a girl is a true GFE provider to others, does not mean your going to get that same experience.   You have to remember that your dealing with human beings that your looking for a deeper connection with, and sometimes, it just does not work out; even though your paying them.  
   
 So, if your are the type that is checking off a list of things for them to do, I apologize for being blunt, but your not looking for the GFE, your looking for a girl that will do various acts regardless if she likes it or not.    The only thing you should be asking is, what does she like and how can I pleasure her.  Because in the GFE, its not all about you.  If it was, then it would be called the ME "Me Experience".  
   
 Too be even more blunt about it, if the above concept is confusing, then you are just looking for someone to act interested in having sex with you.  
   
 And them just acting interested my friends, is NOT what GFE is all about.  
   
 Good luck and be safe.

Posted By: earthshined
holding a conversation or pleasing her doesnt mean she really wants to be with you.  
   
 if anything GFE is even MORE fake than anything else.  
   
   
   
Posted By: TheHotGuy2014
I'm one of those guys who is/was looking for the GFE; in real life getting laid for me is quite easy, but I always end up paying the same amount between dinner/drinks and a room, then the girls tend to be shallow and I get bored.   Plus being married, dating single girls is a dangerous game to play, especially when they start stalking you.  (-;  
     
  So, with that said, for me, it is not a matter of whether they perform certain physical acts, it's how they make you feel and how you perceive them to feel.  Take kissing for example, something I think we can all agree is a basic tenet for a successful GFE.  
     
  Some girls will let you kiss them but it just feels wrong, forced or your just not in-sync.  When you encounter a girl who is truly enjoying it, then it feels like your making out with someone who is really into you and there is a connection, thus in turn the GFE.   However, if your not one to contribute to the moment or your just not compatible, just like in real life, your not going to get the experience.  
     
  I'll agree that a GFE goes deeper than just the physical, so them being able to hold a conversation is needed, like a courtesan.  But that too is a two way street.   Which is the basic crux of the GFE.   If your not willing to share and open up, then don't expect her to either; you just become another dick with cash attached to it for her.  
     
  Now something else to keep in mind; all because a girl is a true GFE provider to others, does not mean your going to get that same experience.   You have to remember that your dealing with human beings that your looking for a deeper connection with, and sometimes, it just does not work out; even though your paying them.  
     
  So, if your are the type that is checking off a list of things for them to do, I apologize for being blunt, but your not looking for the GFE, your looking for a girl that will do various acts regardless if she likes it or not.    The only thing you should be asking is, what does she like and how can I pleasure her.  Because in the GFE, its not all about you.  If it was, then it would be called the ME "Me Experience".  
     
  Too be even more blunt about it, if the above concept is confusing, then you are just looking for someone to act interested in having sex with you.    
     
  And them just acting interested my friends, is NOT what GFE is all about.  
     
  Good luck and be safe.

I got the impression he thought it was more real than SPCE (sexual position checklist experience)

-- Modified on 10/10/2014 6:00:55 PM

There is absolutely no shortage of dudes who are happy to pay for mediocrity.  Sheesh...you've got Minnie crowing about doing nothing with some old fool.

Me thinks that many gals know exactly what they are doing.  And the pathetic old fools swallow the whole thing with a smile.

And a tip

Exactly, these girls do know exactly what they are doing.

If you ever become friends with them, they will open up about it.  I've gone so far as to give them advice on how to get more money out of stupid guys because for me, I find it amusing that men think that they can treat these girls like an object and expect them not to fake it.   When you think about it, I mean really think about it, the same thing occurs out in the dating world.   We have known lots of our single girl friends to accept a date with a guy just to get a free nice dinner.

Honestly, I've encountered quite a few women that just would not drop their guard, both in the hobby and outside.  And that is fine, I knew exactly where I stood going in and where I stood going out (no pun intended), there was no illusions (along with no repeat visit), and was their loss, not mine.

But the ones who have let their guard down, the 'experience' becomes real for both.  And as you said, there is no shortage of men happy to pay for mediocrity, I'm just not one of them.

If a lady can work less and still get the same what does it matter to you or anyone else for that matter.  

Sort of like a trick who has the moneys worth mentality. Both are fine as long as they find someone who is okay with either way.

What I do or you do is really none of anybody elses business. How you hobby and how I provide is again, no-one elses business.

I believe in working smart, not hard. And if I, or any other hooker can do that, I don't see the issue, especially if it does not affect you or any other trick that believes differently

They have probably never been in an real relationship before where it was not just about them.

As you pointed out in another post; you were treated with respect and you sincerely had a wonderful time.  These guys just don't get it and I feel sorry for them.   And if they truly think that GFE is about checking boxes off then I say bleed the poor bastards dry of their cash, because that is what they deserve.

I agree to a point that it "can" be fake, and when it is a one way street, it most certainly will be.

There are allot of girls out there in this business that do enjoy themselves.  And as I said before, these girls are still human beings and once you make a connection with them, then it becomes a real experience, simply because it is a by product of it.  Just like it is in the dating world.

This is not meant to be derogatory, but maybe you have not figured out how to reach them on that level.    

I can only speak from my own experiences and include that of my wife and I entertaining 'strippers' together for the past decade (which there is only a small difference between the two when it comes down to it); we have befriended allot of these women just by treating them with respect rather than as an object.  

I guarantee you, even the most not so good looking person out there, if he is witty and charming, listens to her and tries to pleasure her; the end result won't be fake, even though it started out that way.

Because my friend, when that wall comes down, it is unmistakable just as you can tell the difference between night and day.

No dude. It's not that i havent figured it out.

I dont WANT to!  

Don't want to get to know them, real name, get OTC time, etc.  

it doesnt have to be one extreme to the next either. So that doesnt mean I'm disrespectful, or demeaning to them because I just want sex from them

I do the same only from  a hooker perspective.  

You are not my BF and I am not your GF, I give an experience and then walk away.

True, your not our GF and we are not your BF.

With that said, and I hope you will agree, if you had to choose between seeing 2 clients, one treats you like a person and the other treats you like an object, you would probably opt for the respectful guy.  For example choosing the one that is not going to expect you to let him cum in your mouth (I know very few women who truly enjoy it, and can count them on one hand.  Add swallowing to that, and the digits get less)

As you said, why would you work harder if you do not have to.  And if your able to get some pleasure out of it, then even better.

On another note, as my regular girl pointed out today.  She enjoys seeing me because it puts her in a good frame of mind.  When she has a bad client, it ruins her attitude for the rest of the day.   So (guys) if you really think about it, its in your best interest to convince others to be nice, because who likes a 'provider' with a bad attitude because the guy before you was an jerk.

And as I stated before, if your just looking for sex, then your not looking for a GFE.   I apologize if what I'm describing is foreign to you; I'm simply trying to expel my wisdom.

See your comments say it all; When your just looking for sex, then by de facto, your treating them like an object.  I understand that you may not think it is disrespectful, but being seen as an object is the very core of not respecting them.  I guarantee you that they would much rather be treated like a person then just there for sex.

To that end, not all girls are going to react to it.  Some are just naturally shut off because they expect to be treated like an object.   Its not that they want to be treated like one, its just their defense mechanism kicking in; because as I keep saying, they are all human beings with actual feelings.

Now, if you don't WANT to try to get to them know them, then don't complain when they fake it.   Because you only get you you put in.   On that same token, don't begrudge the rest of us whom do make an effort to get to known them.   As those of us who treat them like people know, we get way more mileage than those who don't.

Take my advice or don't, it's your money being spent, not mine.

Skinny_Minnie:-)1254 reads

Last night, a lovely client and I spent the night together.  Despite me being on my period, we met anyway, had a great dinner, went back to his house, drank wine, cuddled/kissed, and he rubbed my back until we fell asleep.  No sex.  This morning, however, he did j/o with my assistance, then we had breakfast.

THAT was a wonderful GFE!

NewEnglandGangsta1415 reads

I don't like spending moneh on girls on period even when dey put in dat Sponge Bob up da tang. Nasty taste!  I ain't an Australian into having a bloody time on my dime. I'm glad your client enjoyed an expensive hand job, whatever floats his boat.

JackDunphy1353 reads

Or BBBJ him? What a tool that john is. Hold on to that dumbass for as long as you can.

Maybe she even brought her mother over to watch Maury with them?

Think he took the dog out...and I'm certain he did the laundry and dishes.

Shit...from any gals perspective this is a real keeper  LOL

Posted By: JackDunphy
Or BBBJ him? What a tool that john is. Hold on to that dumbass for as long as you can.

Skinny_Minnie:-)1148 reads

And he knew I was fatigued, so he took it into his own hands. :D

Or did you just take advantage of an old man who didn't want a confrontation?

Yep...that is the epitome of a GFE that I, for one, have NO fucking interest in.

But from reading this board over the years, there's plenty of guys who love that routine you offer.

Posted By: Skinny_Minnie:-)
And he knew I was fatigued, so he took it into his own hands. :D

JackDunphy1404 reads

Sounds like a government worker. lol.  

Actually, the last thing that Skinnie Minnie Hooker would want is to work for the "gumint." Her workload would then INCREASE and her pay/compensation package LOWERED.

Yep, she took advantage of some delusional/pathetic ancient john. And she's proud of it.  

Sheez...

DamienScott1265 reads

No bbbj? No CIM? He's a total loser lol

Posted By: Skinny_Minnie:-)
Last night, a lovely client and I spent the night together.  Despite me being on my period, we met anyway, had a great dinner, went back to his house, drank wine, cuddled/kissed, and he rubbed my back until we fell asleep.  No sex.  This morning, however, he did j/o with my assistance, then we had breakfast.  
   
 THAT was a wonderful GFE!

Skinny_Minnie:-)1489 reads

I wouldn't expect a new client to be so understanding of my PMS cycle.  And next time I'll go above and beyond for him!  Sometimes you gotta take care of eachother when one is down- even in a pro/client relationship

bonordonor1405 reads

jack off is he was hoping all night you would take the initiative with one of your two other holes. Did you warn him of your "visitor" before or after you showed up? Keep us posted as to the next time he calls you...or maybe now you have a regular when you're "out of commission".  It's pay 4 pussy/ass/mouth not pay 4 paling around. That sorry old sap!

-- Modified on 10/11/2014 2:37:50 PM

JohnHooker1038 reads

...Of a provider being HAPPY to get paid to NOT perform ( under the guise of " Oh He's such a sweety and a gentleman. " BULLSHIT !!! He's a F'ckin SAP !!!.... REALLY ??!! REALLY ??!! Your F'ckin Bleedin then DON'T Book A F'ckin DATE !!!! I have had the PLEASURE of being BAGGED by Providers Pulling that SHIT !!! and saying but we can just CUDDLE !!! REALLY ??!! REALLY ??!! That's all fine and good but then how about YOU DON'T GET PAID !!!! Oh wait that wouldn't work for you because your TIME is valuable !! Well so is OURS just say I'm F'ckin BLEEDING and we can put this off till I'm not ...or as stated How About BLOWING HIM !!! F'ckin RIDICULOUS !!!! Yes I seem worked up over this because it happens and IT SHOULDN'T !!! IF you know Aunt Flo's Comin, DON'T BOOK AN APPT !!!! ( PERIOD/ no pun intended ). Only time it's acceptable is if you start bleedin while the guy's there but even THAT is not Acceptable !!! Your BIG GIRLS, you know when it's gonna happen so DON'T BOOK !!!! end of rant...

All that anger and she doesn't give a shit and she still got paid...lolololol

Believe it or not there are thousands of guys who don't think like you and here's the fun part, all your bloviating and ranting does NOTHING.  

So, Kettlebell, sucks being you with your crusade

JohnHooker1353 reads

Not a CRUSADE Sweet Cheeks....just a simple rant......and YES She got PAID to NOT Have any SEXUAL Contact !!! ( Which was the point of the response )....and Yes the SAP has the RIGHT to do as HE please with his MONEY !! AS LONG AS HE WAS AWARE !!!

Skinny_Minnie:-)1166 reads

Quid pro quo?  Or, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?!

He is a giver.  You, sir, are a taker.  

Cuddling and kissing is more intimate than BBBJ.  We were both very pleased and I've never felt so close to him.

JohnHooker1355 reads

NO SUNSHINE !!! He is a SAP ( Giver ) and YOU are a TAKER !!!! QUID PRO QUO literally is an EVEN EXCHANGE !!! Cuddling for a FISTFULL OF BENJI's !!!! Not REALLY an EVEN EXCHANGE !!! But YEP I'm a Taker !! Crazy me A HOBBYIST Who actually wants to HOBBY !!!! By now!! Done with this Fruitless OP....

As hobbyist pointed out, all that anger is not going to get you anywhere.

The whole point of the GFE is not about checking boxes, it's about making a connection.   I personally enjoy my regular girl laying on my chest afterwards and let her sleep in my arms, but thats me.

Now you are probably thinking I'm a SAP, however that is what I'm looking for, a connection, where it is still possible to walk away.   Getting laid in the real world is easy for me but its also messy due to being married.

With that said, this is where I think your getting tripped up in thinking that this was their first date or even second.   A GFE is something that takes time to cultivate and you both have to click.

I was lucky with my regular girl, we clicked on the first session; but I have had numerous others that we just did not connect (and in turn I don't see again).  But that is the way human contact goes.

Its fine if you want to Hobby, ie get laid; but don't think because one does not get laid during a GFE session that there was no exchange.   And in that same respect, don't expect a GFE session if your just looking to get laid.

GFE just makes me think of the baggage-laden civvie relationships.

GFFE would be fun without drama, but not including Greece.  Oral without, but covered intercourse.
GFPE = Girl Friend Porn Experience would be a trip to Greece too.

PSE = porn star experience where you get a trip everywhere and she's talking dirty, taking charge

BBFS is not something I want a part of at this time in my life.

Just opened my Webster's dictionary, according to my copy true GFE means Foxync.

And that seems to be where the disillusion comes from. To me, this term is applied too broadly by both the ladies and the gentlemen. I have seen worlds of differences in the application (by both parties), and a lot of disappointments from subscribing to the idea that GFE means anything more than exactly what it says. Believe it or not, there are actually girls out there who will just be pleasant and fool around, but a girlfriend that does not make.  

 Some think only of the sex and their score sheet, and in that case, you aren't looking for a girlfriend experience, no matter how much acronyms seem to make things easier.  If you need a review to tell you what she'll do, you arent looking for a girlfriend experience. If you must have XYZ, you are not looking for a girlfriend experience. You are looking for a compatible sexual partner. And that's fine. Just be aware of what you're looking for, and what is important to you, so you can make wise decisions in who you see. GFE, no matter how many times it's discussed, has not and never will tell you any of this. Only her reviews will.  

If what you want is ambiance, or attention, or to walk away feeling like you were completely emotionally and mentally satisfied, then you are looking for a girlfriend experience. If you are more interested in a good time overall, and want to feel like you've been touched in more ways than just physically, then you are looking for a girlfriend experience. And that's fine too. Girlfriends, like providers, all vary in what they will or will not do, but the reason you have chosen her as your girlfriend is because she fulfills your needs in more than just the physical sense. For this, reviews can be helpful, but more can be told by reading about her, and talking over the phone or email. A real "girlfriend experience" is not what TER promotes, but a woman who is interested in providing an entire experience and making significant (for this) connections will make that clear herself.  

There is nothing wrong with wanting a mix of both worlds, but I do think it's important to narrow down your choices based on what you really want and enjoy, not on some vague term like "GFE". Even if a woman hits all the check marks on your list, you may still walk away disappointed if she treats you like her man and not like her toy. And for others, it will be vice versa. Not every time is going to be the best time, but you can greatly improve your chances by listening to the people who are going to be interacting ;-)

TLDR - I am a fan of labeling ambiance (PSE or GFE), rather than actions (reviews) ;-)

JackDunphy1568 reads

Its rare to see this naïveté in the hobby. I most certainly do read the reviews to find a GFE if that is what I am in the mood for. You want me to believe in the bullshit you hookers put on your website to make an informed choice? Don't make me laugh honey.

Many johns here consider a GFE and a compatable sex partner as one in the same thing. We are paying you a small fortune so I don't see why it should be that difficult to have the AMBIANCE you speak of with the sexual checklist I need. No, that doesn't mean a girl has to do x or y, it's her call, but for so many hookers here to tout themselves as GFE is a crock of shit when they won't BBBJ or DFK. It is false advertising. No different then showing pics of a svelte 20 something and an overweight 40 something shows up at my door.

Of course you and some other hookers here want to blur the lines of what a GFE is and does. It is to benefit YOU, the business end of the relationship, NOT the client.

If you advertise as a GFE then take the responsibily for the menu options AND the ambiance. At $$$$$ an hour, I am sure you can manage this without your little world crumbling beneath your precious little feet

Than my pointing out that everyone is different and that a catch all term isn't the end all and be all of having fun.  

You don't even fundamentally disagree with most of my posts that you reply to, and yet here we are again.  

Whoo-saa baby. This is all just sweet nothins.  

I don't care about lines or perceived power struggles. I'm just here to fuck around *shrug*

JackDunphy1293 reads

What, have I replied to 2 of your posts in 6 months? 3 replies maybe? I didn't know I weigh on your mind like I do. Lol.

Actually I had to go back and do a search. You're the gal that thinks a john needs to check a hookers site every single time before he sees her to make sure he doesn't "short" her while shirking the responsibility to inform your guys of a price increase. Check. Lol.

You never could explain how paying her one price one week, then paying her the same price the very next week was "shorting" her but I have come to realize you are very young with little business experience and even less common sense.

Sorry sweetie, I just don't look at my valued clients the way you look at your..."regs"...as you like to callously refer to the men who give you so much.

And if you didn't really care about "lines or perceived power struggles", you wouldn't have needed to respond to my post, now would you?  

But it is flattering to know I am on your mind as much as I am. ;

I said that if you notice a discrepancy, you should check with her. Just like every single other poster on the newbie board before, right now, and ever since. I don't see you over there, just here. Once again flaming me for the common sense you accuse me of lacking.  

I have literally never referred to regulars as "regs", it's just an awkward term. Though I hardly see how recognizing an ongoing relationship when I see it as callous. But here you are, once again projecting all over the place.  

I make a post about how GFE is inaccurate just like you, and here you are, going on about hooker this and hooker that, battle lines and power struggles.  

If I didn't care, I wouldn't reply to you post? Once again, you're here, replying to mine. Cranky pants locked and loaded, for what?

I'm not really sure what else you want me to say. If it's not a grudge then maybe you need to look into your general anger towards providers. Cause it's a little strange.

You and a few others. If it causes you this much angst why even bother?  

With all her other points you found only this as your reply? Well good catch. However she seems to talk a lot of sense. You and I have gotten along fairly well but every now and then I see this "hookers must do it the hobbyists way" from you.  

Is there not enough women for you to choose from to get what you need without trying to be the hooker police and making sure we all tow your line?

JackDunphy1096 reads

It's not about hookers doing it the hobbyist way. It's about the client/ business relationship. Civie dating is 50/50. P4p is not. When there is an issue that can go either way, an ambiguity, etc. it is just smart and sound business practice to give the client the benefit of the doubt.

I am not surprised I have to explain this to a young, immature girl like Charlie but I am quite surprised I have to explain this to you.

Look, you saw your girl taking a drubbing and me pushing her own words, words she denied making by the way back in her face, and you felt the need to jump in and try and rescue her. Sad, yet admirable at the same time.

This girl, on more than one occasion, seems to think that the onus for communication should be on the client, not the business. Several people with far more experience than her have called her out on it and her knew jerk reaction is to tell everyone else they are wrong and she is right.  

That doesn't make her a bad person. Just a confused one. Go back and look at that thread on the NB. None of us threw down first, she chose to. She got hammered and still kept digging, blaming the customer instead of the business taking the responsibility

If you want to defend all that, as well as her lie that she would refer to her clients as "regs" then so be it. Be my guest HT.



-- Modified on 10/11/2014 9:50:48 PM

I was replying more to you than her statement. I did agree with some of the more general things she mentioned because you and a couple of others seem to think because you pay, it has to be your way.

I pay to go out to dinner however that does not mean I can do whatever I want inside the restaurant or treat the staff like shit. I am a paying customer but there are rules on how to behave and even the dishes I order are a set amount, I just can';t walk in and slap money down and get anything I want. Possibly not the best analogy but have somewhere to be in a few.  

The way I see it, because this business does not have set menus and amounts of time each item is done a lady can decide how much she wants/needs to do in to stay in business. That is where she picks her clients well in order to get the type she can deal with.  

Do you honestly think I would entertain the thought of seeing a guy who wants to pound me into the mattress for 59 minutes when I can see a guy who wants sex but for a much more reasonable time ( my reasonable that is)? Yeah he is paying but I can and will limit how much wear and tear I allow. That's what tricks don't like. But it is a part of the business that we do have control over. You tricks can vote with your dollars, but for every trick that passes a hooker can catch a guy who suits her. I know, I do it every week.

I seem to have a good business relationship with the guys I see and as far as I know none feel that bad about it, they keep coming back. And if you want to call them saps or losers, that's on you, they can't hear you, and I still get paid.  

I see absolutely no point in working that hard when I can get paid the same amount for less wear and tear. This I feel is what irks some of you tricks, that we don't HAVE to and that we do have a say, even though you pay.

And the tricks are trying to sway things to benefit them?  

Business...aint it grand

JackDunphy1744 reads

I'd normally ask, since you are one of those softer johns I speak of, if you asked her permission first before you thanked her but I have every confidence you did. ;)

....it is dumbass, suck up johns like yourself that are my constant source of inspiration. You doing your job enables me to do mine.

What I find interesting is allot of the guys on here just won't listen to the "providers" on this topic.

They are so set in their ways with the checklist and then complain about not getting want they want.   I personally think that they are looking for women who will validate them being assholes since in real life, no woman would put up with them.

Now there is nothing wrong with just wanting sex and asking the girl what she is willing to do/not do and what the costs are.  But don't expect anything more than sex.

The only part I disagree with is the ambiance portion, only because ambiance can be faked, and that is counter to having a great GFE.   (I think of ambiance as "setting the mood").   I prefer seeing if we click, because to me that is key.

Now I am not saying all GFEs are going to be real or don't start off with an illusion.  I look at it as its no different then the dating world.  If you put effort into putting her at ease and pay attention to her, then your going to get rewarded with an amazing time.   But we (clients) have to remember we are dealing with real people with real emotions.

Like yourself, there are allot of women in the business whom have substance to them; and when we are lucky enough to peel back the natural defenses and get deeper, the sex goes from good to mind blowing.   I guess only those of us who have figured that out will get to experience it.

Skyfyre1619 reads

Sure I vote FOR it 100%.

Then maybe we can convince TER to make it official the term "TER-GFE" meaning ads can include this term and it explains it all with absolutely no need for discussing service the way it should be.

Yeah hell will freeze over when that happens!

It's a euphemism insomuch as meaning you have some sort of sex, and descriptive of a quality as opposed to PSE, FBSM, DOM, S&M, and maybe a few other types of marketable intimate encounters. I like the lack or precession, and am more than fine with the idea that it means different things with different partners. After all, from my memory of younger days, each girlfriend and each love were defined in different ways to some extent.

And it seems to function as good enough for who it's for. So...

So if a lady does all that, but her attitude sucks...is she still GFE? She lets you do everything(or almost everything) on your list, but does it all in a mechanical manner...is that GFE? A lot of gents are also looking for that attitude and atmosphere of a GFE as well....some ladies don't offer some of the things on your list, but are more "GFE" in the attitude than some ladies who offer everything on your list.  

Posted By: munchinmuffin
I saw a posting of a provider who was quite attractive from her photos.  Unfortunately she did not have any reviews so we texted each other and I was hoping to understand what activities she was comfortable doing.  As you might suspect, we didn't really get anywhere.  She simply quoted her services as "GFE".  Those who have hobbied for any length of time know that GFE means different things to different people, providers and hobbyists alike.  As I thought back to my late teens and early adult life, I thought about what Girl Friend Experience meant to me.  Back then, as now, meant 1) a girl who would kiss open mouthed with tongue, 2) a girl who I could perform cunnilingus on, 3) a girl who would perform fellatio on me and either swallow or spit afterwards, 4) a girl who loved to fu**, 5) a girl who let me put fingers in all her warm places, 6) who was up for multiple rounds and 7) would consider a trip to greece.  Now some of you might have the same list, or less, or perhaps even more.  But I always thought my list was the kind of stuff that if you had a decent girlfriend she would be up for.  
   
 So then I got to thinking: why not develop a poll on TER where each of these items is listed.  We vote on them.  If at least 51% of the votes are for it, then it makes it on the list.  Then TER posts the list as the official TER definition of a GFE.  Maybe we have a GFE+ and a PSE list too.  Then when a hobbyist is texting a provider and she says she is GFE or PSE we can direct her to the official list and ask if she meets the official TER list.  Otherwise its not a GFE experience.  And we can get some consistency in definitions of activities.  
   
 Is it worthwhile to propose this to TER?

ROGM1042 reads

You'll never actually define what "GFE" means.

The other site got in trouble for having one, as well as many other things.

Newbies can be educated by seasoned members.

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