TER General Board

hi Mimi, as someone who shares this perspective, let me tell you why...
Jstgttnstrtd 18 Reviews 898 reads
posted

I feel this way.

Yes, this is a business, and like all businesses, is about money (and make no mistake, this business is about LOTS of money, lol).  Ladies are shown great respect in terms of clients agreeing to their advertised rates, without haggling.  Guys can easily pay as much per month for hobbying as they pay for a mortgage or car payments - life costs in which negotiating is an accepted way of business.  But out of respect for the individual provider's right to set her own rates, most gentleman don't do this.

For me, once I agree to see the lady for her requested rate - money issues are left completely behind me.  My mind moves to another phase, preparing myself like I would for any other date.  Showing her the respect that I would any lady.  On my dates, I don't go in with an organized plan, but rather let things unfold a bit organically, giving bits of myself, and willingly accepting whatever portion of the lady that she is willing to offer me (both mentally and physically).  Sometimes I bring a gift, sometimes I don't - but what I ALWAYS bring is respect for the lady that I'm with.  I've met some very cool, smart, interesting, and yes, sexy ladies since I started doing this.  The clear majority of my dates have been great, fun experiences.  And at the end, we usually part with a kiss and a smile.  Yes, I know what this business is, and I'm not delusional, but I'd rather end on the more human note of a simple sincere "thank you" - than put money back into the equation again, yanking this all the way back to the cold business reminder "this is all about money."

I saw a particular provider for the first time today. A visiting (well reviewed) indy girl who frequents Miami regularly. I was screened way in advance. The appointment went well, what I would rate a 9/9 although she requested that I not review her. As the appointment was winding down, I started to get dressed. Whenever I have a good session I usually tip the girl. Usually 10% of the hour fee. In this case it was $40.

Once dressed, she was still naked sitting on the bed, I gave her one last kiss and opened my wallet to tip her. She would not accept it by hand. She told me to put it down on the nightstand. After being with over 150 providers, this was a first for me, to have a girl turn down a direct tip. I got a little offended, put the $40 back in my wallet, and rolled out.  

My question to the community, especially the providers. After all the sex we had and her accepting my envelope (with $$$$ in it), why would she refuse to accept cash directly. She knew I was not LE, so why would she get defensive about directly receiving a tip.

When you tried to tip by handing the tip directly to her?

I respect a person who sticks to their principle.

Why would you make such big deal out of it. Your action of trying to hand money is a cheap jester and a big turn off. As mongers, we complain and have complained vehemently when a provider counts or attempt to count money in front of us on numerous times and some have put it on reviews

Thanks for continuing to find new ways to fracture our language

As one poster suggested, she (the poster) thinks it would be solicitation.   It would not be because nothing is being solicited, but people are told little bits of the legal process and, right or wrong, they fill in the blanks as they see fit.  Not their fault.  We do that I am sure with medical issues and others.  But if that is the case, this is not time for Law 101, her perception would be the only reality that mattered.

I think the suggestion that she would feel it was a cheap gesture (or frugal jester) to be handed the cash after the fact may be true. You've heard enough of people's opinions regarding you doing that so I won't pile on, but I will mention what I think seems to work well:

I like the idea of paying it forward.  Leaving a gift in the envelope prior to the beginning of the appointment.  An act of good faith and anticipation.  In your case, $40 is hopefully not too much to put out there to let her know you think that much of who she is and what is to come.  If it doesn't happen then it cost you the same as a lunch for two.  Oh, well.  If it was as good as you hoped, or better, then you have built a really nice bridge to your next visit.  Just my .02

 


-- Modified on 10/4/2014 10:00:02 AM

If what you said the how it went down, personally I would have made light of it, said thanks and nicely asked you to just put it on the nightstand and then given you a kiss and hug.

You thought you were doing a nice thing and it's obvious she made you feel like you did something bad.

Not everyone handles something that makes them uncomfortable  well.

Don't lost any sleep over it!

;-)

Steph

Posted By: 808transplant
I saw a particular provider for the first time today. A visiting (well reviewed) indy girl who frequents Miami regularly. I was screened way in advance. The appointment went well, what I would rate a 9/9 although she requested that I not review her. As the appointment was winding down, I started to get dressed. Whenever I have a good session I usually tip the girl. Usually 10% of the hour fee. In this case it was $40.  
   
 Once dressed, she was still naked sitting on the bed, I gave her one last kiss and opened my wallet to tip her. She would not accept it by hand. She told me to put it down on the nightstand. After being with over 150 providers, this was a first for me, to have a girl turn down a direct tip. I got a little offended, put the $40 back in my wallet, and rolled out.  
   
 My question to the community, especially the providers. After all the sex we had and her accepting my envelope (with $$$$ in it), why would she refuse to accept cash directly. She knew I was not LE, so why would she get defensive about directly receiving a tip.
Handed from hand to had is considered solicitation. She might be doing things this way to protect you and herself out of habit ... I would not take it personality because we take every step possible to protect you and ourselves

Solicitation, after the fact?

If, in fact, she was concerned about LE then she was more than a bit late.  Let's hope, for her sake, she's not that dumb and just didn't like the GFE mood being broken.

if I were the lady. I would have handled it similarly to Steph- I would have said how sweet you were to be so thoughtful, then I would have jumped up to give you a hug and made sure my hands were on your body somewhere so that you'd have no choice but to throw it on the bed or the nightstand and reciprocate my affections. I would then have changed the subject immediately to something else.  

A tip is really sweet! But it is certainly awkward to be handed cash. I guess I feel that I know it's there but don't want it to be a featured guest at our party. It should rather be a guest you shuttle to the car at the end of the night without much ado.

AsianManNOVA1242 reads

Do you always hand the tip to your waiter directly? I don't think so. You leave it at the table and leave. It seems to me you wanted to hear her show her gratitude to make you feel good. But it's the other way around; we tip people to make them feel good about their great service. Also, by handing the tip to her directly, you reminded her again she was selling her body for $. I remember someone once posted that she needs to find dignity anywhere she can in the business, and this certainly didn't help.

and it is part of the reason why I decided not to regularly leave cash tips, something about it just seems a bit crass (IMO anyway).

I choose to show my respect and thanks to ladies in other ways...

First, she already made me feel good. Very good might I ad, to the point that I don't think she could have done or said anything that was going to make me feel better. Secondly, servers dont receive cash tips, at least from me anymore. It is a add and sign transaction. I can't remember the last time I paid a dining tab in cash.  

Now to your only somewhat valid point.  Don't you think it would be a bit demeaning and somewhat humiliating to toss a couple bills on the dresser as I am walking out.  That reminds me of the captive Dolphins at the Baltimore Aquarium who have been reduced to jumping through hoops and doing silly tricks to get tossed a dead herring. I believe people do deserve to be treated better. If anything, I was trying to make her feel good. I am sure that she knew all along that she was selling her body to a stranger for $ and I was very much appreciating her sacrifice.

 In hundreds of appointments, this is the only time this has happened.  

BTW Mr. Wrps I have never been to a Golden Corral, nor do I know where there there is one in DC, or Miami .

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 4:25:34 AM

No but the one where Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful would bring the most hardened USArmy killing machine to tears.

I know you were trying to show appreciation and were left with a not so good feeling. As I said above she could have handle it differently/better.

I'm guessing you wanted some feedback so maybe some of the ladies here have provided you with some food for thought....and not at Golden Corral.

;-)

Steph

99 out of 100 times I get a sincere Thank You followed by a quick kiss and I am out the door.  Ending an already good appointment on a high is the intention.

and have said as much twice, no let's make it 3 times now.

And you shouldn't have been made to feel badly or left with no after glow because she refused it. She shouldn't have handled it the way she did based on what you've said.

You brought this here and some ladies here have provided some pretty good insight. If you want to dismiss it after coming here, I won't even ask the why of wanting to hear from anyone other than those that agree 100% with you and not give any other perspective.

You did nothing bad and shouldn't have been made to feel like you did at the end of an otherwise great time Your high/aka afterglow got water tossed on it. Are you hearing me???

I really hope you'll just move on and have only great times with hot as hell ladies that leave you with the afterglow you deserve.

I'll do ya even one better whoever made the analogy of you don't walk up to a waiter and hand them the tip...I highly doubt the waiter would have refused it. If it bugged him/her, he would have still said thanks and you would have never known.

Now that's a wrap for me! ;-)

Steph

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 12:43:23 PM

NewEnglandGangsta796 reads

Zese hoes tell you "I don't vant a review". Vell, is it up to zem to decide who vee schould review or not?  
I don't sink so. Zey do zis to avoid less zan 10 reviews. Zey are tryink to be smart and avoid any chance ov gettink a lez zan perfect review. Zis is a vorm ov review manipulazion but I digress.  

Zee best vay to handle zee das zituation vas vor you to placen sie das $40 tip on zee table. Vy vould you vant to hand zee tip directly to zee hoe? Maybe you schould sink about goink back to zee newbie board and rewiew zome postz on diskreetnez and awoiding mention any ov money ekchanged? Iz zee koncept ov not treatink a hoe liken a hoe too overvelming?

NewEnglandGangsta1048 reads

if zee hoe has existing TER pkrofile, zen zee fact ov zee matta iz zat vether vee choosen to veview a hoe or not is not zee hoe's privilege. vee kan veview zee hoe if vee damn vell choosen to das vite a veview

Speaking for myself, I find it easier to read your drivel when it's in faux ghetto-speak.  But your faux Euro drivel made it impossible to read to the end of your last two posts.
It's funny and all, but............
Wait! Now I get it! You're Dutch!  I bet your real handle is TERAdmin!

HandleWithCare1172 reads

Are you a New England gangsta, or did you just get off the boat from Germany?

Posted By: NewEnglandGangsta
Zese hoes tell you "I don't vant a review". Vell, is it up to zem to decide who vee schould review or not?  ...  
 Zee best vay to handle zee das zituation vas vor you to placen sie das $40 tip on zee table. ...

In desparate need of a personality.



-- Modified on 10/4/2014 4:32:58 PM

ROGM1233 reads

You should have left the tip on the nightstand as she requested. Bad move to put the tip back in your Wallet. Being with 150 Providers seems a bit far fetched.

I regretted not tipping her later in the day. It was not that she said to put it on the NS but her tone and the way she said it.

LongDukDong1513 reads

You're an idiot. You simply wanted a big fat thank you for the tip. Proper etiquette is to lay it on the dresser or counter and get a thank you text or email later. Get over yourself!

bonordonor943 reads

Posted By: ROGM
Being with 150 Providers seems a bit far fetched.
an asshole and they put you on the DNS list after the first encounter. That's probably why he has to see "visiting" providers.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 8:30:01 AM

Zangari808 reads

I would have left the tip on the nightstand.  But otherwise you're on firm ground:  

1.  After fucking for an hour, she knew you weren't a cop.  
2.  She acts as if money is dirty & you're vulgar.  
3.  She's a prima donna & you'd get more of the same next time.  
4.  You're smart to drop her, she's not worth it.  

 You offered her something out of kindness, and she gives you the high hat.  Fuck her--you don't need her.  --

The guy should just take a leaf out of your "how to treat a hooker 101" book and slap her and then pull her hair  and then because you paid, do whatever it is you feel like doing, you know it's your session.  

And then as you are leaving, puff out your chest and say loudly...I showed that hooker who was boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I may, to stop you meeting any Prima Donna hookers, your intro email should sound like that and that way you only meet the types of women that you can do with whatever you please. The Prima Donnas will leave you alone.  

I swear there are women out there that love a insecure man who has to show them who is boss. I wonder how well your chest thumping routine goes in the real world?  I guess that he-man shtick doesn't work on them as well as your captive paid for piece of ass.

Lots of love from the MHB

Zangari955 reads

ou're like a one woman Greek chorus, yeah?    

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
The guy should just take a leaf out of your "how to treat a hooker 101" book and slap her and then pull her hair  
 Note: this thread isn't about hair pulling/ass slapping.  That was last week.  But your tantrum is never ending.  
   
Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
 And then as you are leaving, puff out your chest and say loudly...I showed that hooker who was boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 When you masturbate, do you think about me?  I hope so.  
Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
 Lots of love from the MHB
 
 I assumed "MHB" meant "Man Hating Bitch".  But the Urban Dictionary def is "Money Hungry Bitch".  That's a bit crude...I'd never accuse you of being "money hungry".  love,  --z

I don't think it was feeling of degradation as much as it was the feeling of a possible set up.

I think guy informants can go all the way and then hand cash over to seal the evidence of prostitution.

One of the first things I was taught was to never take cash by hand. As far as a moral level, we're doing what we're doing, and the transaction doesn't bother me.

What would bother me is the many, many warnings to never take cash by hand. (In my opinion, it is what it is, and i don't know what changes as far as how the money is received, but..) ever been taught not to do something, then later look back and still wonder why? And also wonder why you felt scared to do it?

It's not necessarily the actual action as much as it is not heeding a warning - even if the warning is unreasonable.

So again, I don't think this is a moral issue. I think it's just her trying to cover her ass in any way possible should it be brought up later.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 1:35:27 PM

Zangari1047 reads

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't think it was feeling of degradation as much as it was the feeling of a possible set up.  I think guy informants can go all the way and then hand cash over to seal the evidence of prostitution.
 Guy informants that go all the way?  Are you kidding--how do you get that job.  If LEO is in your hotel room, you're busted. It doesn't matter if the cash is in an envelope, on the night table, or in a mayonnaise jar.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
 One of the first things I was taught was to never take cash by hand.  
 You were taught this where...it doesn't matter where the cash is.  Imagine we set up a drug deal in your hotel room.  I bring a suitcase filled with cash.  You bring a suitcase packed with heroin. I'm an undercover cop.  Your defense is...that you never took the cash by hand?   Your criminal intent to sell sex is no different than your criminal intent to sell heroin.  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
What would bother me is the many, many warnings to never take cash by hand.
 You're getting bad advice from ignorant people.  Stop listening to them.  --z

The words 'unreasonable warnings' and what people are taught.

When entering into this profession, you'll take any advice you can get... And many paranoid people will gladly give it. Over time, you learn how things really work, get more comfortable in the job, and you begin to make your own judgments and decisions.

Many agencies look down on the cash by hand process. Do I personally think an envelope will protect me in a legal case? Nope. Do I still feel somewhat uncomfortable changing a routine that I used to follow out of fear? Yup.

Would I take extra Money by hand? Yup.

Do I feel degraded when someone hands me a cash tip? Nope. It's more money, and quite honestly, being paid a little bonus makes me like working for that person even more. The appreciation - and the money - goes a long way. But I also understand everyone does things differently. Some who don't tip may appreciate me just as much as the ones who tip by envelope, by hand, by card, or by slipping it in my bra strap.  

So, that being said, it took a while to get over the initial stage fright, the unnecessary warnings, and to do my job day by day the way I see fit based on my own research and experiences.

It's a learning process, and expecting a person to do everything absolutely perfectly for every single person when dealing and learning how this business works - is a very high expectation.

Also, let's say she was uncomfortable with the feeling of sex for money by the way it was approached. She set a boundary, probably didn't deal with setting it very well, and you punished her for it.

People get so pissed off at the little things, instead of giving a person the benefit of the doubt and looking at the bigger picture. You said you had an almost perfect time with her. Do you really think she didn't deserve you overlooking her response based on the 99 percent of the appointment that was amazing (as you said?)

But really think about this. What really pissed you off? Was it about her not accepting cash from her hand because it made YOU all of a sudden feel ashamed for giving her cash for sex? I wonder if the insecurity isn't in her, but in your own head. Your perception of the situation may very well be very off, and her intentions not bad at all. Just a simple request and a boundary set.

Let's say you insisted after she nicely asked you to just place it on the table. If you are crossing a boundary again that someone politely expressed while understanding you meant no harm, then it's now a situation where you are crossing a boundary, and the first act is no longer the issue she is addressing. Now you have crossed the line of willfully insisting on something she has already said no to. Even in a minuscule case like this, when someone is uncomfortable, and sees that that discomfort may continue, they most likely won't act perfectly, especially when new at dealing with that exact situation.

Zangari1245 reads

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
 Re: You totally missed the main point.
 
 I didn't miss the main point of your last post: it was a constant drumbeat of the following:  "Don't take cash by hand!" I pointed out (as nicely as possible) that it was an idiotic idea.  Now in this post, you're shifting ground to Psychology 101.  I'll address that down below.    
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
When entering into this profession, you'll take any advice you can get... .
 Taking "any advice you can get" is careless and sloppy.  Bad information is worse than no information.  In any profession, you should consider the source of your information & don't be so gullible.    
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
 People get so pissed off at the little things, You said you had an almost perfect time with her --snip--
 You're confusing me with the OP.  According to him, the session was over & he just wanted to give her a tip.  He had nothing to gain, it was just an act of kindness.  Instead of being grateful, she didn't even *acknowledge this act of generosity. That's not a "little thing".  That's offensive to anyone.  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
But really think about this. What really pissed you off? Was it about her not accepting cash from her hand because it made YOU all of a sudden feel ashamed for giving her cash for sex? I wonder if the insecurity isn't in her, but in your own head.
 Note the Psych 101 above.  You want me to "really think about this" (?) Ok. You're projecting your own guilt, your own "shame of cash for sex" onto the OP.  Stop it.  He's not the one at fault, so stop shifting blame to him.  This provider was rude & ungrateful but instead of focusing on that, you want to make excuses and blame other people for her inconsiderate behavior.  All of this makes me wonder about your courtesy & professionalism.  Sorry.  --

About a situation that was barely explained.

How does anyone know she was actually ungrateful? She was uncomfortable with something and from what I'm seeing, she's not the only asshole here.

If she asks for something, he should just honor it and not be a dick about it. If anyone takes advice from unreliable resources, it's the person who runs to a social forum to make a judgement on an event the people he's asking weren't even there for, and not even include details.

Really?  

One thing I do know, is that when something goes wrong, everyone involved should consider whether or not they had anything to do with it.

Being a baby and walking out all pouty because someone asked him to take two steps and an arm reach to put money on a table is a little spoiled. If you want me to be straight forward, the guy is being a big baby about it. Pull up your boots and be a man and not a spoiled little girl for God's sakes.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 5:51:32 PM

Zangari1044 reads

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
   If she asks for something, he should just honor it and not be a dick about it.  
  Thanks for your insight.  The OP is a 'dick'  (your word).  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
If anyone takes advice from unreliable resources, it's the person who runs to a social forum to make a judgement on an event the people he's asking weren't even there for, and not even include details.
 I see.  If we weren't at the OP's session, then we should just shut our pie holes.  Aside from the OP,  that would silence everyone--including you, right?  
 
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Being a baby and walking out all pouty because someone asked him to take two steps and an arm reach to put money on a table is a little spoiled.  
 I'll take name calling for $400.  The OP is now a 'pouty' 'spoiled' 'baby'.  You should spank him.  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
 If you want me to be straight forward, the guy is being a big baby about it.
 Ah well...you already called him a "pouty, spoiled baby" in the previous paragraph, but now he's a "big baby".  Let's string these adjectives together--he's a big/pouty/spoiled baby.  Got it.    
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
 Pull up your boots and be a man and not a spoiled little girl for God's sakes.
 And now the OP is a "spoiled little girl" (you could have added "in a Cinderella dress").   Is that it?  Thanks for playing.  You win a toaster oven and a trip to Sea World  --

bonordonor1032 reads

That would be you and not necessarily the OP.

Zangari1030 reads

Posted By: bonordonor
: Let's not forget an annoying putz putzing!   That would be you and not necessarily the OP.

You seem like one who likes to find fault in any female who says what they feel/think about a situation, then drive them to further explain, until you upset them enough to get a little more straight forward in their talking. Proven in above thread. Here's an analogy to what you just did

Sounds like what I was trying to say in the first place.
Boy gives girl money by hand
Girl asks for a different approach
Boy insists
Girl speaks up since boy didn't get the hint the first time
Boy finally finds fault, throws a temper tantrum and tells all his friends.

And if I'm asked a question, I'll answer. If I'm not I won't. But a guy who pouts over something so dumb and tries to make the woman seem easily offended? Please.

-- Modified on 10/5/2014 5:30:39 AM

the girl too.  She apparently acted a little snippy, and after a great session, when you are on cloud 9, that can come across as a slap in the face.  Did he react the best way?  Probably not.  But his reaction can also serve as a lesson to the lady, that words and tone do matter.  We are all human.  But the great thing about this hobby is that these 2 have absolutely no commitment to each other - nothing to discuss, nothing to work through.  Isn't that beautiful!! He can just move on to others, and she will have lots of other customers too.  Hopefully they will both reflect a bit and think what could have been said or done perhaps a bit better.  That's how we all learn, isn't it?

The tiff I am getting into is with the people who take this girl as a primary example and cheer "fight for your rights!" And label her as a snob, bitch, etc. When she's human too.

The OP of course asked a question. He wasn't mean to ask. But by putting the money back in his wallet and walking out after getting upset that a woman was insulted by him handing her the money - is 'respecting her' by slapping her back even harder.

If he makes a mistake, it should be corrected if he asks about it. It's only to help people deal with situations better the next time. If the girl would have asked, I'm sure the ladies (and definitely the guys here,) would have been there to help her understand where she went wrong.

I also mistook the guy I was responding to for the OP, so I mixed two attitudes into one. Re reading the OP, it looks like he is simply asking/venting about it, which is understandable. But people are going to say what they feel about both sides. The problem is, it's impossible to give a solid answer when the chick isn't here to tell her side.

Based on the way she made him feel during the appointment, and then the sudden reaction to the tip portion, I have a feeling the fast forward button was hit to skip some of the important parts.

But no one will know unless the lady speaks up.

who know why she acted the way she did.
Many possibilities.
Fear and lack of trust?
Slave to personal protocol?
Felt insulted?
Or perhaps something else?

Both of their reactions were instant reactions, with no opportunity for premeditation.
And indeed, we'll never know the full truth of what happeded (like we never will for any story told here, even WITH input from two sides).  All that said, no matter the motive, IF (and that is a big if) it transpired the way he said, then I can empathize with how he felt.  If her reason for being snippy was one of the first two I gave, then I'm not as empathetic to her.  If it was because after a great session she didn't want to spoil it with a crass re-introduction of $ into the mix, this I could empathize more with - because it doesn't involve the "insult" of lack of trust.

Or, there are lots of other possibilities.  Perhaps she was already running late and her mind was on other things, and the final exit was dragging just a bit and this was just adding to the time??

Who knows.
But I agree - he asked the question, so all input should be welcome for consideration - especially from the provder side because it is her actions and motivations that he didn't understand.  And you certainly have provided thoughtful input for him to consider.

Zangari1112 reads

Let's imagine the following scenario:  a provider is going to have a session with one of her favorite clients.  She buys him a gift earlier that day--she spends $40 on her favorite mens' cologne.  

 After the steamy session with him, she presents him with the gift. It's a sweet act of kindness.  
The client says : "Just put it in my briefcase".  He doesn't even bother to say 'thank you';  he doesn't *acknowledge the gift at all.  

 The provider posts the incident on this board.  

 Advice from Z:  Drop him as a client.  Fuck him, you don't need him.  There are a lot of guys who would appreciate your kindness.   And there you go.  --z

the rest is just hypothesizing as to WHY she acted that way.
Something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon when bored!

In the end, I only want to spend time with ladies I have a completely positive vibe with - and if a date ended like this, I would move on.  I once had an awkward end to an otherwise great date, and moved along myself...

It's very hard to learn to mesh with every one in every way, but - plenty of fish in the sea they say!

I was slipping into my robe to walk my client to the door, when the gentleman discreetly pressed a folded bill into my palm as he was hugging me goodbye, and said, "Thank you again for a wonderful time."  

It was delicate, nice and didn't scream "Money for sex" the way it would if he had dug into his wallet, and handed me bills flapping in the breeze.

It may sound trivial to you, but after many years in this business, one grows to appreciate a client with a sense of decorum.  

In your scenario, I would have accepted them with thanks, and immediately slipped them into my pocket or under the pillow. But everyone is different, and maybe she is new.  

Posted By: 808transplant
I saw a particular provider for the first time today. A visiting (well reviewed) indy girl who frequents Miami regularly. I was screened way in advance. The appointment went well, what I would rate a 9/9 although she requested that I not review her. As the appointment was winding down, I started to get dressed. Whenever I have a good session I usually tip the girl. Usually 10% of the hour fee. In this case it was $40.  
   
 Once dressed, she was still naked sitting on the bed, I gave her one last kiss and opened my wallet to tip her. She would not accept it by hand. She told me to put it down on the nightstand. After being with over 150 providers, this was a first for me, to have a girl turn down a direct tip. I got a little offended, put the $40 back in my wallet, and rolled out.  
   
 My question to the community, especially the providers. After all the sex we had and her accepting my envelope (with $$$$ in it), why would she refuse to accept cash directly. She knew I was not LE, so why would she get defensive about directly receiving a tip.

I know you find facts to be dumb...  

Posted By: inicky46

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 11:45:10 AM

EOM is meant to be used at the end of the subject line if there's no content to the message, so no one wastes his or her time clicking to it.  Putting EOM in a message is a stupid time-waster.  But then again, reading anything you write falls into that category and all of your posts have no content even when there are actual words there.

don't tip at all.  I see women who charge from $300 to $600/hr and I don't tip.  First of all, it's not a comfortable thing to do and can seem to cheapen the occasion.  Also, if I like someone the best thing I can offer is to see her again.  And again.
There are other ways to be generous.  For example, if I book her through P411 I never take the discount. Also, I've evolved into not accepting grandfathering and choose to pay her current rate.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 10:01:48 AM

How in the heck does a tip "cheapen the occasion"?    

Of course I don't expect tips, but when one is given - large or small - I am extremely appreciative.  Whether you prefer to leave it unmentioned, or to hand it to me with a thank you, the result is the same: I feel (a) appreciated and (b) happy that you are completely satisfied with my service.    

I can feel equally appreciated and happy with a non-monetary thank you!  The point is that I can't imagine a cash tip producing the opposite effect.  Seems a bit cuckoo, really.

Look at it this way.  You have just shared some of the most intimate moments with someone who had tried her best to make it seem like she cares and is actually aroused by you.  If she's good at it, she's pretty convincing.  And even though most of us know it's an act, we're trying to suspend our disbelief while we're with her.  To then reach for your wallet absolutely seems to cheapen things.
As someone said earlier in the thread, if you plan on leaving a tip, leave it in the envelope at the beginning.
Or what lopaw said below.  Look, we're talking about something where there's just no absolute right and wrong.

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 11:05:49 AM

Of course there is no right and wrong!  But please don't think that the envelope on the dresser (or the tip afterwards) somehow precludes her caring or being aroused.  For me, it is quite the opposite!  The envelope elegantly defines the boundaries of our relationship - a safety which ALLOWS me to relax my defenses and be caring and open.  Hope that makes sense!

Nicky like to forget it's a service and live in that moment probably on the drive home and for the next couple of days.

I ain't gonna lie tips make me do the happy dance, cause I ain't expecting it. But here's the thing, it's Nick's shindig and that's how he rolls.

IMO he's not talking about tipping afterwards cheapening it for the lady. He's talking about HIM.

Now whether you think it's a crock or not is up to you. I take it with a grain of salt but again it's his shindig and I'm betting my of the ladies he's spent time with  like him-a lot.

Just my 2cents, 10cents would cheapen my reply, LOL!

;-)

Steph

But I must correct you on another point.  I never "live in that moment on the drive back home" and certainly not "for the next couple of days." Pretty much the illusion is gone once I close the door to her room.  But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about how hot it was for some time afterwards.  I'm just not laboring under any illusions.

I've never had a provider turn down a tip, and I always hand it to her. And, they always say 'thank you'. Maybe she should be working as a waitress so you can leave it on the table. She was playing a game.

I feel this way.

Yes, this is a business, and like all businesses, is about money (and make no mistake, this business is about LOTS of money, lol).  Ladies are shown great respect in terms of clients agreeing to their advertised rates, without haggling.  Guys can easily pay as much per month for hobbying as they pay for a mortgage or car payments - life costs in which negotiating is an accepted way of business.  But out of respect for the individual provider's right to set her own rates, most gentleman don't do this.

For me, once I agree to see the lady for her requested rate - money issues are left completely behind me.  My mind moves to another phase, preparing myself like I would for any other date.  Showing her the respect that I would any lady.  On my dates, I don't go in with an organized plan, but rather let things unfold a bit organically, giving bits of myself, and willingly accepting whatever portion of the lady that she is willing to offer me (both mentally and physically).  Sometimes I bring a gift, sometimes I don't - but what I ALWAYS bring is respect for the lady that I'm with.  I've met some very cool, smart, interesting, and yes, sexy ladies since I started doing this.  The clear majority of my dates have been great, fun experiences.  And at the end, we usually part with a kiss and a smile.  Yes, I know what this business is, and I'm not delusional, but I'd rather end on the more human note of a simple sincere "thank you" - than put money back into the equation again, yanking this all the way back to the cold business reminder "this is all about money."

I appreciate your input.  You and Nicky share a viewpoint that is apparently common - but still feels foreign to me.  I see someone for PT every once in a while who does an amazing job - always attentive, remembers the issues of the last session, clearly invested in a positive outcome - and in no way do I equate my envelope with a lack of caring or sincerity on his part.  If he gives me extra time or switches his schedule around to accommodate me, I add a tip to the envelope before I leave.  

Of course, the thing missing from this equation is a penis!  Which tells me that the penis has a very fragile ego and special emotional needs that I need to be more sensitive to.  :-)

FYI, I am always aware of the large investment being made when someone books an appointment with me.  I respect the client by providing the very best service I possibly can.  I've never lost gratitude for the great times and life opportunities that this business - my clients! - so generously afford me.

I've had to gently direct ladies efforts when the've gotten too rough with the poor guy! :o)
But yeah, we are all wired differently, and think of these things differently - certainly each lady I've met is very unique (though this can't be appreciated as much with the few more robotic ladies I've met).  People just interest me in general, so the more "real" the lady is with me, the more I tend to enjoy my dates overall.

I don’t like the idea of tipping.  As you suggest, the best way to show appreciation is a return visit. A cash tip becomes a de facto price increase because you will likely feel obligated to tip on a return visit as well. This can be a disincentive to repeat.

Long term, repeats are what it's really all about.

Of course there are "those guys" that post here that they don't repeat or seldom repeat.

hmm... but I'm betting they seldom tip either. I really do the happy dance with a lil extra, but someone I know will see me again...yeh I'll take that above all else.

Steph xoxo.

Off topic, I saw your pic on the photo board today and passed out. Your butt is PERFECT-OMG!!!

one last time to the bathroom and leave the tip in there with a little happy face post-it note on top so that she'll at least know that it is a tip and wasn't left accidentally there. Works well for incalls, which are the only ones that I prefer to do.

bonordonor837 reads

excuse myself to the bathroom. Then, just as she reaches for it I pull it away with the fish line I've attached to it! Sometimes they catch on right away and sometimes it takes a few tugs.

I think her reaction is understandable.  It is inappropriate to tip my barber or massage therapist directly.  All transactions are done at the salon front-desk or massage center reception, including tipping.

With providers, I always pre-tip (one envelope at the beginning of the meeting).  If the experience is disappointing, I can simply not to return.  If the experience is very negative, I can always write a review.

I don't like handling cash

What's offensive about leaving it on the dresser? Have some class, man!

...I would not hand a cash tip to my attorney, CPA, or other skilled professional after a one hour meeting.  I believe that handing $40 to a professional would be perceived as insulting.  Your lady seems from your description to be a properly compensated highly skilled professional.  I looked at your reviews and see that you are seeing a "very high caliber of providers".

Were I meeting a lady of this caliber I would not offer a cash tip as I feel that would demean her status as a courtesan.  I figure it is appropriate and customary to hand cash to the bellman or barber for good service.  In the area where I live, escorts actually have rates equal to or higher than attorneys or CPAs (which should speak clearly to the great value of the service they provide), and I treat them as professionals accordingly.  The escorts I most frequently visit have fully functioning brains (the sexiest part of a woman IMHO).  I figure these women are professional courtesans who know how to set an appropriate market rate.  Maybe this is a generational or regional way of thinking.

If you are motivated to give tips and on her website she mentioned gifts she would appreciate from specific vendors, perhaps coming prepared with a gift card may be appropriate.  You could leave it on the dresser saying, "I had a lovely time, please treat yourself to something nice."

That is not to say that leaving cash on the dresser for a BP lady who is not a skilled professional but who provided excellent service is inappropriate.  I have said in that case, "Here is a little something to help you cover the cost of the room.

Be civil, treat a hooker like a human being, and she will treat you the same way, find a hooker that is copacetic with your fucking style and have some fun.

It goes to hell in a hand basket when the hooker and trick have conflicting styles. There is absolutely no point in a trick choosing a hooker that is not into CIM and then trying to force her OR a hooker accepting an appointment from a trick knowing that is what he wants but she is not into that and refuses.  

I get shit from tricks because I want to make sure there is the best fit from the get go. For some of them I should provide everything no matter what. I doesn't work that way and they are beyond ignorant for even thinking that.  

No trick is going to sway me to do anything I have not already made my mind up is okay so, going in, have the right mindset. Nor will I ever accept an appointment with a guy if I know I am not what he needs just for the cash.

It gets nasty and complicated when there is the mindset of "I will show her/him" so from the start there is friction and not the good sort. Some people have been burned and are now bitter and twisted and really need to step back and leave this alone.  

I enjoy making money and when I get the right type of client and things go well, I consider it a great day.

Are they officially dead, now?   On the dresser my man, to the side of the door.

First, I can afford it.
Second, I do it because the girl did go above and beyond.
Third, I do that for everybody who gives me a service waiers, bartenders, cheuffers, bellhop, concierge.  
Fourth, I actually feel good when I do. I dont have a wife or kids so its a small price to pay to make myself feel good.

You lack self esteem. In that case, keep giving extra. The girl doesn't need it but apparently you do.

...and your dad or grandpa opens his wallet at eye level and gives you a couple of bucks sorta like saying "here's a couple of bucks little kid go buy yourself some cotton candy".

So she is sitting at the bed and you open your wallet at her eye level sorta like saying "here little girl buy yourself some cotton candy"

I walked away from the incall appt and got into my car to go to the bank and I see my client chasing after my car to hand me some twenties all the while a cop car was pulling up as I was at an intersection.  I took the money but told him later that it was an uncomfortable situation for me.

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