I'm not sure if my response was an assumption of the situation
What you said A girl I'm seeing showed up with her BFs name tattooed darkly on her leg. Her first and only tattoo so far and I don't believe she's been seeing him for more than a month. Previous visit she had a few bruises, said she fell. I really like her a lot and plan on seeing her again but I feel like I will end up letting her go because of this. If that happens I'll talk to her about it so she understands why. My response Try thinking about your relationship this way - Your companion is ending her relationship with you on her terms. She is waiting for you to take the hint. However, since it's her job to make you feel special. Your companion isn't going to quit her job, to make you happy. She wants you to be a man and terminate the relationship on your terms. Your companion does not need her own decisions explained to her.... but more of an evaluation between the two elements(you and her) of the "relationship" based upon very limited fact, as you've only given a small amount of information based upon your perspective, along with no information from her perspective. I will assume that everything she has told you about herself is a complete and total fabrication. That's not to say you have not been able to read into some of her dialog along with her actions. Which would be an assumption on your part even if those assumptions are in fact true.
Only you know what you actually meant to say and expect to accomplish with your post, at best you want to save the relationship... if not the lady from herself. Whose going to save you from her
A variety of threads lately have addressed issues that guys have with providers and vice versa.
I'm curious as to how much guys are willing to put up with before they move on to another provider, and how much providers are willing to put up with before they refuse to see a guy. Obviously that answer depends upon the offense, so what are some you've tolerated at least for a bit before ending things
I stopped seeing one man because his hygiene was...lacking. When I told him why I couldn't see him anymore, the a-hat called me 12 times a day for a week and texted me 9 times a day asking me to see him again. I blocked him from calling and texting me a few weeks ago (thank goodness!). Another client got way too clingy and needy, getting highly upset when I told him that I didn't want to marry him and have his kids. I was in my late 20's at the time and I had a boyfriend at the time...which he knew about.
It might have been better just to go on radio silence.
Honestly unless a hooker really knows what the john wants she is flying blind and can be the brunt no matter what she chooses to do.
The truth doesn't work with some and a lie doesn't work with others
Within limits, I always want the truth. I don't want a fake O. Well, not often anyway. Fake O's can be fun, too. There's this one girl I know.. Sorry. That's another topic.
But I think people get all wrapped around the axle regarding truth. I try to tell the truth and nothing but the truth always. But often I don't own the whole truth and can't tell it without hurting someone else. So, I stick to the truth and (mostly) nothing but. Though I've been known to change that rule when asked if her butt looks fat.
Still, I think guys ask for the whole truth when not only is it unlikely they can handle it. But they have no right to it, either. What the provider does with somebody else is not a truth that is hers alone to tell unless the two of you are getting married. And maybe not even then. This kind of question (tell me the truth) can only be answered in terms of a particular moment and relationship that only those in that moment and relationship can understand.
We're not gonna get there in a forum thread.
The truth doesn't work with some and a lie doesn't work with others.
Drug issues because they don't become apparent until the girl is getting comfortable -w- the relationship. Tough question though. A girl I'm seeing showed up with her BFs name tattooed darkly on her leg. Her first and only tattoo so far and I don't believe she's been seeing him for more than a month. Previous visit she had a few bruises, said she fell. I really like her a lot and plan on seeing her again but I feel like I will end up letting her go because of this. If that happens I'll talk to her about it so she understands why.
Even if you have been seeing her longer than her current BF.
Try thinking about your relationship this way - Your companion is ending her relationship with you on her terms. She is waiting for you to take the hint. However, since it's her job to make you feel special. Your companion isn't going to quit her job, to make you happy. She wants you to be a man and terminate the relationship on your terms. Your companion does not need her own decisions explained to her.
Try thinking about your relationship this way - Your companion is ending her relationship with you on her terms. She is waiting for you to take the hint. However, since it's her job to make you feel special. Your companion isn't going to quit her job, to make you happy. She wants you to be a man and terminate the relationship on your terms. Your companion does not need her own decisions explained to her.
Sounds like she has already made her choice.
Let them live with the choices they've made... Make your choice accordingly.
Too much hooker court going on for me today
Let them live with the choices they've made... Make your choice accordingly.
Too much hooker court going on for me today.
I'm not sure if my response was an assumption of the situation
What you said
A girl I'm seeing showed up with her BFs name tattooed darkly on her leg. Her first and only tattoo so far and I don't believe she's been seeing him for more than a month. Previous visit she had a few bruises, said she fell. I really like her a lot and plan on seeing her again but I feel like I will end up letting her go because of this. If that happens I'll talk to her about it so she understands why.
My response
Try thinking about your relationship this way - Your companion is ending her relationship with you on her terms. She is waiting for you to take the hint. However, since it's her job to make you feel special. Your companion isn't going to quit her job, to make you happy. She wants you to be a man and terminate the relationship on your terms. Your companion does not need her own decisions explained to her.
... but more of an evaluation between the two elements(you and her) of the "relationship" based upon very limited fact, as you've only given a small amount of information based upon your perspective, along with no information from her perspective.
I will assume that everything she has told you about herself is a complete and total fabrication. That's not to say you have not been able to read into some of her dialog along with her actions. Which would be an assumption on your part even if those assumptions are in fact true.
Only you know what you actually meant to say and expect to accomplish with your post, at best you want to save the relationship... if not the lady from herself. Whose going to save you from her
As I said I don't know how you get "your companion is ending her relationship with you" from my post. Nothing in your original reply was indicated in my post. She called wanting to see me several days ago (4 days after our last visit) and I turned her down for reasons not related to this topic.
I provided the relevant data. Whatever lies or truth she has told me is irrelevant. For all I know there may not be a problem and I haven't said there was though I suspect it based on past experiences. If it becomes apparent I would share my reasons because I like her and expect to walk away having saved nobody but myself. If a girl is spending all her money on drugs I'm not going to want to stick around for that either.
It wouldn't be the first time I have let one go, and it's not just on the client to keep things professional
I will pay for pussy
I will beg for pussy
But, I will not BEG TO PAY FOR PUSSY!
Nothing, if I want to put up with crap, I would find civvies. All I want is a good fuck and go home until the next time.
proportional reciprocation on the positive side.
It's hard to make a hard and fast rule in this hobby.
I've even gone back and seen providers who ripped me off because they wooed me back with cock and bull stories of some kind.
I always say "never again", but then I find myself pulled back in.
It's like this songs says:
and I find myself overcome by circumstances.
But in retrospect, how bad were my woes compared to some incredible memories?
The worst of it isn't the financial hit. Some of them were bad (I'd be bull whipped if I ever revealed the amount.) The worst part was the feeling of disappointment and let down, not to mention my own feeling of anger at myself for being suckered so badly. (Drugs were involved in at least one case, which did not surprise me.)
But fate has a funny way of eventually working out. Just recently a gal that had burned me somewhat badly and wanted to get together just for a dinner to reminisce. My left brain (That's the logic side.) said forget it. My right brain said what the hell, give it a shot. (You can probably imagine what the little brain was saying.) So, I went for it. And guess what? I ended up staying the night with her and had one of the nicest nights of my life. So, go figure. (Yup, we have another date planned.)
I try to console myself with this aphorism:
It's better to regret something you did rather than something you didn't do.
I also look back at those wonderful times when everything worked out wonderfully.
And then I look to the future with hope.
Not that I like to put labels on behavior... I guess as long as the both of you is having fun and growing from the experience...
Who am I to judge?
... are:
* An NCNS without a sincere apology (at least, what sounds like a sincere apology), a good excuse, and an offer to "make things right" (even if I don't take her up on it, I appreciate the offer).
* Deceit of any form, e.g. photos that significantly misrepresent her true appearance (I'm not talking obscuring the face and/or tats here).
* Performance not on par with, at least, the mean of her reviews.
* A feeling of insecurity, based on location of her incall, her screening process (or lack thereof), etc.
* The feeling that she is not comfortable with me, or vice-versa. Although there can be first-date jitters, in my experience the first date is a good predictor of how future dates will go.
For the most part the answers so far have been what the posters will not tolerate. I'm curious as to what sort of bad behavior on the part of providers or customers people here have tolerated at least for a while. For example, have you repeated with a provider who's been very late? Have you repeated with a customer who wasn't clean?
I'm just trying to get an idea of what some folks will tolerate at least once, and maybe just from one person, not all.
Sees me every week. I noticed that his hygiene seems to be on the down swing so the last time he visited I insisted he shower and even though he did, I highly doubt he used any soap. His armpits still stunk. So much that I could not lay next to him. I dropped a huge pile of bullshit to avoid getting close or so he would not lift his arms up.
I can't put up with smells for long...very sensitive to them and it is one way for me to kick said stink bomb to the curb.
sounds a bit as though you are being taken for granted....
If I were seeing a provider I would also take the approach - once - of suggesting a shower -
but would certainly not repeat if there was not a reasonable effort at hygiene -
that is so basic as to be inexcusable....
Is not considered refusing quality service?
there are real reasons for limitations of "service" - YMMV factors if you will - that have to do with the gentleman being -
unclean
not well groomed
not very nice to be with
rough
insensitive to her cues
just too dumb to listen
and a general asshat
and I am sure there are others -
what I don't get is the idea that if he is not doing something to your or another provider's liking that you would just cut it (whatever it is at the moment) off without giving the gent a clue.... certainly he might not take the hint in which case denial would be justified....
it would not offend me to be asked to be more gentle, or to go a bit harder.... (which you might be surprised to know is a request I quite often get....) to be asked to hit the shower (though I am damn near a metrosexual when it comes to cleanliness....) or anything else - I am not there to make the ladies time miserable...
I have said in this thread that "my liking" has nothing to do with it. It is about him and the only reason I will STOP/Halt/Suspend the action is when it is painful or irritating. My pleasure is a non issue, you know that. I give so many clues the guy would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to get it.
Please find the post I made where I said I give no clue and just shut it down. Seriously, Ketterman, you are really reaching with this one.
I will say it again in case you forget...NOTHING to do with my liking, I am not here for the sex. I have a very sexy and skilled partner that no john could ever be compared to so let's just leave that right out of it. I provide a service, an illusion , an act that I do very well considering my client base.
I have a few clients I can call friends within the bounds of this business with whom I do spend OTC (at my suggestion) and extended time (again at my suggestion).
I see no reason to suffer through pain in order to provide "quality service" to anyone...EVER
I never monger on a really tight schedule, so if she needs an extra 30 mins/hour/whatever, then as long as she's communicative about it, I'm never one to lose my shit over a last minute delay. Also, as long as she's showered, I don't put much stock in how snazzed up she is - sometimes I'm more turned on by how she looks dressed down than dressed up (just out of the shower, wrapped in towels is HOT!). A couple of times I've gotten a "disinterested" greeting, but in those cases I just invest in some extra "get to know her" time and they've all turned out well.
Ultimately, the performance and rapport will determine whether I'll repeat.
..and when I do it is not for that long so there is such thing as putting up with anything. Shit has happened on the first appt that really turned me off that I put up with like answering her cell phone or - my fave - sitting back down to finish her bagel and cream cheese after letting me in. I should have bolted right away but you know how it goes.
Is sticking to appointments. I like to set them up in advance. I plan ahead and hate getting blown off or made to wait too long when the agreed upon date has been set for days or even weeks in advance.
Now have I put up with this? Sure. I'm sure we all have at some point, hobbyists and providers both. Traffic is understandable as an excuse, as is hotel check in times not accounted for, etc. emergencies happen with kids, SO's, colds, flue, etc. whatever. Perhaps the "friend" shows up unexpectedly forcing a delay of a few days. I get it. I put up with it, especially if the gal is hot and/or provides a great time. What I can't stand is consistent behavior like this. Cancel with a reschedule on me twice and I won't call you again. Make me wait more than 30 minutes three times (3 strikes rule for me) and I go elsewhere in the future -- unless of course you are fan freaking tastic and I can't match that level of service anywhere else, but that, sadly, is usually not the case. If you cancel with no good explanation, I will be pissed off and never call again.
My favorite provider to date (can't call her an ATF yet as I've only seen her twice) not only answers her emails promptly (within a few hours), she does what she promises and is always prompt and updates me if she might run late (she hasn't been late but she warned me she might be one time). That's awesome. It's what I do as well. It's courteous and respectful of my time, just as I am courteous and respectful of hers
If the provider is a smoking hot 9 or 10 as well as being a totally uninhibited sexual freak for $200/h I'm likely to tolerate MUCH MORE than if she is an 8 or less in "appearance" with a decidedly more conservative "services" menu at $300/h or more.
There is no reason in this Hobby to tolerate anything that upsets you. This is suppose to be fun for both sides. If there is no chemistry, MOVE ON. Neither the Hobbyist or the provider need to be in a situation that makes them unhappy. A provider might for the money. But a Hobbyist can move on to the next one. And the next one. Until he finds the right fit
I put up with more than I would IRL BECAUSE of the money but even I have a line I will not cross and that line differs with whatever the negative stimulus is. Sometimes it is a very short distance to that line and others, it is but a millimeter from that line.
perhaps he would want for you to really enjoy it but nonetheless it is a service as you so often acknowledge, which has been paid for, which as you so often also acknowledge is your primary motivation...
so instead of being so ready to deny quality of service to someone who is inept, or just does not seem to understand your queues - why not be a good sport and help them out a bit (and yourself as well at least from the perspective of avoiding the crossing-the-line degree of negative stimulation) by giving them some help? you both win that way -
just cutting someone off if you don't like what they are doing (which is what it sounds like your approach is from this and many other posts) is a really poor approach to service quality....
If that is in fact your approach, I would love to be able to read your reviews :
Regardless of the fact that we're paid, it isn't always prudent for us to explain basic things like how to shower (WITH soap), how to not push boundaries, basic manners, etc. Personally, I'm not a mother (nor do I intend to be...ever), so it's not in my job description to teach guys how to act like adults. If a guy is capable of paying for sex, yet incapable of meeting basic standards in terms of things like hygiene or politeness, then that is indicative of issues that I for one am not equipped to deal with.
Providing good "service quality" does not mean putting up with ridiculousness, nor does it mean babying people through things that adults should already be adept at.
I'll give you an example: a friend of mine works at a waxing salon. She has one client in particular who always comes in for a Brazilian with massive globs of shit stuck to her ass crack, and most recently obtained her services whilst on a "heavy flow" day (without bothering to put in a tampon). After this most recent debacle, my friend finally told her manager that she had had enough. Her manager actually told my friend that she had wished that she had said something earlier, because that's not something that she wanted any of her staff to be exposed to or have to endure. That customer has since been denied service at the salon. Can you imagine if my friend's manager had told her "Well, you're getting paid to provide good service quality. How about you try explaining to the customer how to wipe her own 40-something-year-old ass? And while you're at it, maybe explain why having to clean up her menstrual blood isn't particularly hygienic. Oh, you don't want to be put in that position of telling a grown woman that she's nasty? Tough shit. Be a good sport."
That'd be just a little fucked up, wouldn't it?
completely agree that you should not have to be a surrogate mother....
but we were discussing things done sexually that were not done to the provider's liking - sufficiently so as to be annoying or to cause a denial of service....
it might be that the john du jour might not actually *listen*
(I've certainly had providers not listen 
but it seems that instead of denying or withholding a common service it would be worth the effort to give some direction....
is it strictly 'a part of the service' ?
perhaps not to some -
but you would be giving better service and doing others a favor as well.....
And since neither of these two lsdies appear to have the slightest interest in you biz why don't you quit telling them how to run their biz (aka giving better service).
And I don't think this is a "common service". And Tobi's analogy was just fine and makes perfect sense.
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 6:06:17 PM
to you I assume since we would not be seeing one another -
but you've always been one of the reasonable and polite ladies on this board. A positive example.
Somewhere along the way you made up your mind to interpret me in a certain way and you seem to be entirely unable to give anything I say a fair shake or see it for what it is....
it seems that once one of the more negative gals on this board makes up her mind that someone is a bad guy some of the rest of you follow suit whether it is justified or not...
"hos before bros" I guess :p
whatever.....
Into everyone's head how you like a provider to fuck. Not to mention that there are other guys out there who don;t want that and need something else and then accusing the ladies that don;t do what you feel they should of being time wasters with their GFE choreography.
She is smart enough to read your diatribes and make up her own mind.
Yeah you're another trick that uses negative etc when someone elses truth gets in your way.
Saying something negative right after it...or condescending and superior sounding.
And you are correct I'm fairly polite and reasonable.
I rarely comment on your posts so stop with the me not giving "anything" you say a fair shake. And I see your posts for exactly what they are...
YOU expect all of the guys to think like you do, when in fact most don't-thank goodness.
As far as me being "HOs before bros" that's comical since I seem to get along ok with quite a few of the bros here.
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 9:56:19 PM
If a handful of hookers on this board all find you rather reprehensible, maybe it's because of the things you say and not because we've formed some silly little alliance against you?
If it hurts it stops...not that bloody hard to understand for the rest..only you.
And where did I mention with holding a common service? If it was withheld it would be a hygiene issue so Tobi's account stands. I am not teaching some 50 something trick to wash his dick and ass and armpits.
Direction...how about "please be more gentle" How about please don't bite my nipples and then the idiot keeps biting. These are things I am not about to deal with POINT BLANK!
If you're talking about us telling guys to not pound us to the point of calluses in our vaginas, then I would be astounded to hear that that's something that you find acceptable given your posting history.
but we were discussing things done sexually that were not done to the provider's liking - sufficiently so as to be annoying or to cause a denial of service....
it might be that the john du jour might not actually *listen*
(I've certainly had providers not listen
but it seems that instead of denying or withholding a common service it would be worth the effort to give some direction....
is it strictly 'a part of the service' ?
perhaps not to some -
but you would be giving better service and doing others a favor as well.....
Seeing as I am not a blowup doll I do have the right to stop or refuse anything that is painful or uncomfortable. That does not mean there is no quality service, it means I have good clear boundaries and stick to them.
I do speak up however if the john does not listen, and the activity does not change, I stop it. Nowhere does it say I am into bdsm or pain. If he listens then back to regular programming. Clearly I am not into anything rough or even approaching rough, you are, so I feel you find it hard to imagine sex any other way or at least that is how you come across to me.
This has nothing to do with whether the john is pleasing me, but has everything to do with me not letting things hurt my body.
You hear of hookers letting guys go nuts only to have to take a couple of days off work because they are too sore. Not my thing to let it get that bad.
Since you have never been with me you have absolutely no idea how well or badly I am with my guys. You are possibly looking at this from what you like and that is wall to wall poundfest. You know I am not about that and in your mind, you feel that me stopping a guy like you would be tantamount to oh I don't know a jailable offense ;p
Don't have any...so think what you want, I am not hard up for clients so there are clearly guys out there that like my style of providing. Like I have maintained, there is someone out there for all tastes and not all guys like to fuck like you and I can't and won't put up with what some other hookers do to make a buck
Exactly what I was suggesting.... but from many of your posts you seemed to be suggesting that you would simply cut someone off if it was not to your liking....
"I do speak up however if the john does not listen, and the activity does not change, I stop it"
is extremely reasonable and I would expect no less from any lady I were to see as well.....
If the guy does not then I refuse to see him after that. No means no and if he is to stupid to understand the meaning of a two letter, one syllable word, I am not spending anymore alone time with him...too unsafe. So if that is cutting them off, then so be it.
I will repeat it does not have to be to my liking, it has to be to his without causing me discomfort or pain.
tardiness, unreasonable limits, time wasting, and especially non representative pictures - nope.
I probably hold the record for walking away from dates earlier in my days here because the gal's images were way too 'hopeful'..... thankfully I've learned how to avoid this - and pretty much all other annoyances.....
I have not had a 'date' start five minutes late since I can remember -
nor have I had 'options' withheld that were reasonably expected from her profile, other than
having greek declined a time or two due to size worries - and that is by no means a deciding
factor for me... (and I've had greek unexpectedly *offered* because of size on occasion as well....)
I don't mind five to 10 minutes of 'getting to know you' seasoned with some progressively more interesting kissing / petting etc but won't put up with time wasting - thankfully working with my favorite agencies or studying reviews especially those of like minded mongers has eliminated this problem....
I don't see why a gentleman who is mannerly and respectful, has a positive and upbeat attitude, is clean and well groomed, and not unreasonably demanding (IE does not present YMMV factors of his own making....) should have to "put up" with anything -
I can get that for free all day and night.....
At your 64+ years of age? I shudder to think what that "free love" looks like. 
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 9:26:26 AM
you've over estimated my age just a bit - but I could easily pass for 45 - 50 - clean living I guess :p
my GF is a former pageant girl and later nude model from the Czech Republic and is 35 years of age -
and my administrative assistant is no slouch either - a little rough around the edges maybe
and pushing 40 but I am sure turns a lot of heads....
I don't hobby because I 'can't get laid' or because I am not interested in what is available otherwise -
but rather, because I am a total hound, love variety, and eschew complications....
edited to add -
I probably should not have said "free" though - at least with respect to these two... the long term lease is often more expensive than P4P in the longer run... good lord both of these gals can run through some money sometimes.... I don't recall ever getting good pussy for free in the long run - you seem to pay one way or another except for the odd zipless now and again.....
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 12:30:08 PM
You served in Viet Nam from 1968 to 1972. That makes you at least 64, unless you dropped out of school early and had permission from your parents to enlist. I don't know many multi-millionaires who are high school dropouts, though. I don't know any multi-milliionaire high school dropouts with 35 year-old Czech pageant girl GF's.
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 10:05:20 AM
you said "65+" - and I'm only 64 :p reminds me of the old Beatles song.....
"Easily pass for 45-50"...GF is a former pageant girl and nude model from the Czech Republic and is 35"...blah blah BLAH.
See here's what you don't get...those who REALLY have it going on DO NOT have to say a thing about it and DON'T. See, I don't know or care if what you say about YOURSELF is true, it's the fact that you continually broadcast it, and ALWAYS have to get a plug in about your cock size.
And it's not just the ladies here that find it repulsive, it's some of the men too and I'm sure quite a few of the guys just say nothing about it.
Nuff said!
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 10:25:17 PM
A secure individual never has to constantly remind the audience of his or her looks, money, abilities etc., they let those things speak for themselves.
For all we know he is a short fat balding little man who dreams of a nude model as a GF and does not repeat for fear he will be rejected by a hooker.
We will never know and from your post neither you or nor I care two dobs of rat shit. Hey this place is full of fantasy and bloviation. He just has a PHD in it.
-- Modified on 9/23/2014 12:15:01 PM
Just having a good time does not mean I am going to repeat. Variety is the spice of life.
If there are "problems" the first meeting, there will probably not be a second. A number of girls have been enough "fun" to become regulars. No girl becomes exclusive, unless I am running low on $.
I usually slow down with an ATF because some other girl has become more exciting...but that preference can go back and forth, or some other direction.
The most frequent reason (by far) for me to stop seeing someome is that she has retired...left the hobby.
-- Modified on 9/22/2014 4:57:10 PM
The answer to this is easy -- for the provider and customer both -- stop if the experience is not totally pleasant -- all the stuff we read about -- the basic purpose is pleasure, and if something makes it less than perfect that's OK as long as the end result is not just tolerable but really bracing, on up to mind blowing. If not, move on...