We are all wired differently and enjoy different techniques and services. Like the saying, "there is more than one way to skin a cat" there are many different ways to eat one too. I know that some girls like more pressure, some less, some like to be fingered while others prefer clitoral stimulation, etc...
Some girls like their faces licked, others do not. Some girls like it rough and some girls like it sensual.
I know guys are the same, but it is our job to find out what they like and do our best to accommodate. But, how important is it to you, the paying customer, to please us the best way for us? Do you care or do you just want the best blow job and best fucking for yourself and have a "who cares if she enjoys herself" attitude?
I understand if her request is something you don't feel comfortable doing. I had a client of mine tell me a provider he saw wanted him to smack her across the face and strangle her while fucking and he flat out refused because it wasn't his style.
But, like I said in a different thread, I don't like a wet willey (tongue in my ear canal), but others do. Do you do it for yourself or do you do it because you think this is pleasant for the girl?
I love the guys that say, "teach me what you like" or "show me how to please you" but not everyone likes direction or even cares to please.
So what kind of client are you, a giver, a taker, or a mutual appreciater.
I personally am a member of the mutual appreciation society.
I always make sure the Provider I'm seeing is comfortable. I please her as much as she wants. Sure I'm seeing her for my needs. But I also make sure that I don't hurt her or make her uncomfortable in any way. She's become a good friend. I always take care of her.
Many times when seeing a provider she makes it obvious that she's there for the money and let's get it over with. And, I can't always blame them for feeling this way since I'm sometimes older then their grandfather.
But, when you notices a connection between you and the provider then you want to try to satisfy her. I really enjoy being appreciated during sex and try my hardest to satisfy the woman. So, with that said, most of the time try to get a provider that's in her late thirties to mid forties because there's more of a chance for that connection.
I pay attention to body language. If said client gets naked and assumes the position don't expect much.
Like dood, you're naked I'm naked and you walked right past me in order to get to the bed and lay on your back??? He may go down on you and hell you might enjoy it but it's just a lucky coincidence.
On the other hand if during the first kiss he lifts you up and your legs wrap around him…feel free to let him know exactly what you need. He's all in.
As a provider I mostly just mirror the client. Match his energy level and or enthusiasm or weight of touch.
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...especially when it comes to pleasure. If the experience isn't good for the lady I'm with, it's not good for me. I've learned to ask the lady what she enjoys, and to get feedback during our time together as well as watching her body language and looking for the obvious and less obvious signs of enjoyment. My operating assumption is that, if I take good care of the lady, she'll take good care of me.
For the ladies, one plea: if the gentlemen asks you not to fake your reactions, please don't. For some of us, your genuine enjoyment does matter and, while I understand there's a certain amount of role play in the whole experience, it takes away from my pleasure if you fake yours. I've been very fortunate so far, in that, as best I can tell, none of the ladies I've met have engaged in that form of acting. For that, ladies, much thanks.
Because if you do, that is awesome. For me that would remove an enormous amount of pressure to fake it.
How do you take it when whatever you are doing is not doing it for her? I mean you chose her on her looks etc, she just gets what walks through the door.
What if a hooker has other things that give her pleasure (non sexual) when she is with someone with whom there is no attraction and nothing short of a magic wand is going to do anything. Is her pleasure that important or does that pleasure have to be derived from something sexual in nature in order to satisfy you?
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The first time I'm with a lady, I make a point to let her know that her pleasure comes first and that I don't want her pretending. So far, I've been fortunate enough to be with ladies that I've been able to please. If nothing short of a Magic Wand would do anything for her, I would ask if she had her Magic Wand with her and if she would show me how I could use it on her.
What would happen if I encountered a situation where we just weren't clicking? I'm not sure. I would want to make sure that she enjoyed the time in some fashion, even if it's only talking. If it's just not working for her, I would want her to tell me so and we could decide if she wanted to give me pleasure in some form or not. I'm old enough not to pout or to insist on getting something that was a chore for her. At the very least, I would hope to get an interesting conversation out of our time together.
That previous paragraph is how I hope I would behave should the situation arise...would that be how I actually would behave? I hope I never have to find out.
Does she tell you? Or are you one of those special johns that can just "tell" when a hooker orgasms? lol
By putting an emphasis that her pleasure comes first, I trust you will succeed, ahem, every time. Why? It is in her best interests to have you think that because:
a) you will be apt to see her again
b) it avoids an awkward moment for her if she doesn't
c) she just isnt into the sex or isn't attracted to you and she feels enough already and voila!...orgasm!
There is NO way you will ever know fact certain if a gal comes in p4p unless you know the girl very, very well and that is not the case with you, as you state in your first sentence.
Can I absolutely, objectively know every time that I've pleased a lady? No. Is it possible that, even after I ask her not to fake it, she does? Of course. I suppose I've had enough good experiences that I expect the ladies I meet to treat me with the same respect I show them, which includes that level of honesty.
Certainty is not what I'm seeking. Part of the enjoyment, for me, is watching the lady, learning her body language, especially changes that are more difficult (though not impossible) to fake: the twitch when I touch one part of her body but not another, the subtle changes in breathing pattern, even a change in her language. I'm sure all of these can be faked, but I still believe that showing dignity and respect will return dignity and respect (and honest reactions).
Am I being naive? Perhaps. Is this part of my own fantasy world? At the end of the day, if fantasy and reality cannot be distinguished from each other, does it really matter which is which?
Of course, I understand the business side of the business. But I also believe the restaurant model is inaccurate. There's a different dynamic at work in this business. There are ladies who do it simply for the income; that's fair and reasonable. There are also ladies who actually do enjoy what they're doing as well as enjoy the income; that's fair and reasonable, too. I look for the second; if I'm taken in occasionally, that's OK. I may out some money, but so what? C'est la vie.
Glad to see that you are secure enough to have no issue if she needed mechanical help.
I was not inferring that she was that repulsed that she did not want to give you pleasure, after all that is her primary job.
I meant if what you were doing to her sexually was not working for her would you be adverse to doing something other than sex to please her...massage etc?
Absolutely! Massaging a beautiful woman because she wants me too: who could resist such a request?
I'm under no illusions that I'm some sort of Adonis. I'm closer to Don Knotts than to Fabio and I'm certainly not a living Magic Wand. Pleasure takes many forms and I'm not at all averse to pleasing her in a nonsexual manner, though I would hope it would be at least in a sensual manner, whether massaging her, feeding her grapes or even reading her some sensual poetry or erotica.
Mutual pleasure can take many forms. Exploring those sensual pleasures can make for memorable experiences. The mind is the greatest erogenous zone: sometimes, pleasure that and, even if the body doesn't follow, it's been a good experience (but I'm definitely not averse to some mind blowing physical pleasure as well).
I am enjoying this thread with my toy in hand literally . I agree that toys used outside of the privacy of a hotel room and controlled by my date are far more erotic. I had a pleasurable coffee house date where I was instructed to wear tight panties and a skirt. I knew something was up . When I arrived he gave me a pretty bag and instructed me to go to the bathroom and insert the brand new vibrator partially in my pussy with my parties pressing the remaining tip against my clitoris. I arrived back at the table quite ready for what was to cum. There were business men and graduate students working all around me. My date let me have it wide open it was erotic and hilarious at the same time. Especially when the remote malfunctioned and he wasn't even controlling it. The vibrator just kept cutting off and on randomly it seemed with each wiggle or movement if my hips. I came several times and could feel eyes of other men on me. I wonder if they knew....I wanted them to know. I love those kinds of field trips.
Because if you treat it like business its business. What I dont like running into is when the provider is the one who just goes through the motions while Im the one trying to be accommodating. I want to try and make the lady enjoy herself because to me thats mutually satisfying. Im not trying to be captain studtacular, but I like the provider to pick up the phone and when they hear my voice they smile. Am I always perfect, of course not. When Im looking out for me I choose a non-regular for that. Am I an @$$h0le? Maybe, but my regulars always get the real me and not quick-fix me.
In my former civvie life and now, I've always felt that if the woman is feeling good, she's going to be more inclined to make me feel good. It was certainly true when I was married, and I can't help but think that it's still true to varying extents with providers.
I'm under no illusion that I'm capable of giving a provider an incredible experience. If she can let me know what she likes, though, I'll do my best.
I get off on seeing a woman get off. On one date, I was spent. For the last hour we played with her toys, She got her rocks off, and I got off on using the toys on her and watching her. At the end she leaped up from the bed, wrapped her arms around me and give me one hell of a kiss. That was fun.
Make her feel good too. Sure, I'm paying for the privilege, but I figure the better I can do for her, to more relaxed, open, and giving she will be as well. What I pay is the price for access. After that what I get out of it is, in large part up to me, from the way I talk to her to the way I make her feel.
I would hope that if I ask sincerely, I'll get more than "Oh, anything feels good." What I would love to know is that she feels safe enough with me to ask for something she sincerely wants. I love the sound of pleasure.
Dear Jessica:
I am just wondering do you tend to gravitate towards clients that are more intuitive and sensitive towards your needs? Also do you tend to look forward to those sessions more as well? Finally which one of your regulars do you like the best and why?
All my clients have been sensitive to my needs and I have enjoyed them all.
But, in a thread where a girl post she doesn't like her make-up licked off, another replied:
"Hmmm....you expect to be compensated WELL for your time in a PHYSICAL hobby but are not willing to deal with your Make-up coming off and having to be reapplied, so you can look ok after seesion for your friends ??!!!! If that is troubling to you with a guy who's trying to have fun AND PAYING YOU...( Without of course/ JACK HAMMERING for the full time, Oh sorry different post )....You may want to reconsider choice of professions ....... "
So, I thought there might be some out there that are only in it for their own personal pleasure and couldn't care less about the woman they are PAYING
So, I thought there might be some out there that are only in it for their own personal pleasure and couldn't care less about the woman they are PAYING.
I care about the woman I'm with, when I'm with her. I am also there for my own personal pleasure.
Most people would call that mutual respect.
... it's obvious you are on this website, so it's upon you as to how you market yourself.
That word has a negative connotation in general but in p4p the thought is absurd.
A john pays money and a hooker provides a service. Not sure how in any way, shape or form that would be considered "taking." A BF that fks his GF and only cares about his orgasm, THAT would be a case of a "taker."
If I go to a an upscale restaurant, is my goal to make the waiter happy? Well if he is happy with me, great, bonus for him I guess but it is not my job to please him, it is his job and his employers job to please me.
Incredible to me that hookers here charge what they do then would possibly consider their clients who pony up that large sum of doe as anything other than GIVERS.
Sheez...
and agree with you in that if I don't have a moment of pleasure during a session it's no biggie. I got my end of the bargain…no harm no foul. But sometimes it's not just about not getting off. A selfish client may be the "get my moneys worth" asshole who goes through 15 positions making it more sport/mechanical. I've been right about to O a few times but the guy wants to switch it up. Like "wait just two more seco…pffft fine. No it's cool". And it is cool, except when they complain the lady was mechanical unless she pretends to love switching every 2.5 minutes…god forbid they can tell she's dialing it in though. No faking allowed right?
My point is yes if you go to a fancy restaurant it's not your job to make the waiter happy, but be careful walking that line because you don't wanna piss off the guy handling your food, or the gal handling you dick.
In most cases my motto is...
A john pays money and a hooker provides a service. Not sure how in any way, shape or form that would be considered "taking." A BF that fks his GF and only cares about his orgasm, THAT would be a case of a "taker."
If I go to a an upscale restaurant, is my goal to make the waiter happy? Well if he is happy with me, great, bonus for him I guess but it is not my job to please him, it is his job and his employers job to please me.
Incredible to me that hookers here charge what they do then would possibly consider their clients who pony up that large sum of doe as anything other than GIVERS.
Sheez...
"you don't want to piss off the gal handling your dick."
Classic! (but oh so true too!)
my experience just a few hours ago is a great case in point - she asked what I like and I told her - then I asked what she liked -
I had a great time - she had a better time than I did -
if what I like is not a good match for the lady we can still find ways to enjoy one another within limits -
I don't want to "pressure" providers to fake Os and all of that stuff - I am perfectly comfortable being the center of attention of that's how it is going to go - but I really don't like being "serviced".....
but the best sessions I have are where the lady is willing to take her pleasure from me and happens to enjoy some of what I prefer as well....
I love to please a woman, hell it gets me off faster and usually a better time is had all around when it happens. That said I hate fakers... If it happens great, if not I'm OK with that too. Just don't put on some show for my sake... If I can do something different that makes it better, tell me, point me in the right direction, grab my head and put it where you like it... Especially this... wrap those legs around my head and don't let me come up for air... getting off topic. Really, just let me know and I'll do whatever I can. I do the same, If I'm not enjoying myself I'll let you know.
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Ewww. Would have to be one of those dog fetishes.
Sex is fun in and of itself, but when both of you are grooving to the same motion it can be breathtaking. Many reviews talk about a "connection" with a certain provider, and I'm willing to bet a majority of those hobbyists take the lady's pleasure seriously too. That mutual respect is a large part of the connections I feel with someone.
Not everyone is wired the same way, and it can change throughout a person's life as they mature and build upon experience. But in every sample set there are extremes where one will focus only on the woman's pleasure (you lucky ladies!) and one who'll care only about his own.
But in every sample set there are extremes where one will focus only on his own pleasure, and one who'll focus only on the woman's pleasure - you lucky ladies! But most of us are likely clustered in the middle with varying degrees of competency and willingness to learn.
I'm a lifelong student and I want the ladies to teach me how to please you too! One class assignment at a time...
...because sex is the most fun if both are enjoying it. Yes I am paying for your time but really I am paying for you to say goodbye and not call me the next day. Really. There is too much risk fooling around with clingy amateurs. Having said that, you are still a woman and I like to make women feel good. There is huge pleasure for me when a woman (pro or amateur) crushes my head with her legs and thrashes around moaning for example. Perhaps you yourself get pleasure from knowing you just gave a client an unforgettable experience. Plus if I am nice to a woman she normally, usually, always reciprocates and is extra nice to me. Its just one of those good power exchanges. I guess I too am a member of the mutual appreciation society.
I never got that tongue in the ear thing either. The girls back in HS thought it was weird too.
We are the PROVIDERS and keeping that in mind I never expect to O. I don't wanna put pressure on a guy, or have pressure placed on me (hate when it's ALL about me…just let me do my job fucker lol).
Having said that when a guy does take the time to pleasure me to an O…the level of appreciation I feel is sexually overwhelming. If I liked you about a 7 up until that point, trust you are now a solid dime piece customer. Not to mention the next time he books I'll be super jazzed about seeing him and it shows and he feels it and the world becomes a brighter place…because I o'd 
I never got that tongue in the ear thing either. The girls back in HS thought it was weird too.
Way too much pressure. If the guy actually verbalizes "it is all about you" I set him straight...no, it's about you, you called me, I did not call you, now let me ravish you and if something happens for me, wonderful.
Sadly I am not attracted to my clients, except one in all the years I have been doing this, I have a certain type and that's what does it for me. He was perfect, the perfect sculpted body. I am pickier than some of the guys here so I understand where they are coming from when they have a type and can't find it or think they have only to be disappointed if she didn't measure up.
I like my guys, as people but as far as sexual partners, it is all about them. I fully admit I fake to complete the illusion for some of them who really need that.
and do my best to make it a mutually pleasurable experience. Paying attention to her, listening to instructions, hints and suggestions.... all go a long way. I don't necessarily need to be touched to derive pleasure, and can feel great pleasure from touching another in a way they enjoy. I don't need to "make her cum" or pressure her to do so in order to feel like a man; at best I hope to facilitate an "O" or simply a good feeling for her. I guess I find that I am responsible for my own "O", just as she is responsible for hers.
I have met with a provider merely for intimate companionship, no sex occurred, and had a wonderful time.
I tend not to be rough in bed, but I have had my boundaries pushed in those areas when a woman has expressed a desire for it. What a great, mind-expanding experience for me.
I presume I am a mutual appreciator. Certainly, I can respect boundaries and follow a simple "yes" or "no"
... on our second date. She looked at me and said, matter-of-factly, "You're a Pleaser." Guilty as charged. Then we discussed how that could be a bit of a problem because she's a Pleaser also. That is, both of us get pleasure from making our partners feel good. But we've worked that out... we each get our share of pleasing. I try to strike that balance with every provider. One way to do that is to engage in activities that please both of us at the same time. 
I love it when a woman knows what she wants and how she wants it, and gives me hints & direction if needed. As you said, we're all wired differently.
in trying to be a stud or to "get her off.
I believe that will either happen or not happen on its own over time.
I've always thought sex for women (except for the nymphos) is an extension of something else. not just the physical act.
I don't really want to waste 20- 25 minutes going down on her if she's not into it.
Some girls like their faces licked, others do not. Some girls like it rough and some girls like it sensual.
I know guys are the same, but it is our job to find out what they like and do our best to accommodate. But, how important is it to you, the paying customer, to please us the best way for us? Do you care or do you just want the best blow job and best fucking for yourself and have a "who cares if she enjoys herself" attitude?
I understand if her request is something you don't feel comfortable doing. I had a client of mine tell me a provider he saw wanted him to smack her across the face and strangle her while fucking and he flat out refused because it wasn't his style.
But, like I said in a different thread, I don't like a wet willey (tongue in my ear canal), but others do. Do you do it for yourself or do you do it because you think this is pleasant for the girl?
I love the guys that say, "teach me what you like" or "show me how to please you" but not everyone likes direction or even cares to please.
So what kind of client are you, a giver, a taker, or a mutual appreciater.
I personally am a member of the mutual appreciation society.
I'm a giver or taker... as much or as little... it all depends on the feedback vibe I feel from the girl.
Recently my CF wanted to try DATY from doggy style. It was rather uncomfortable for me because I had to strain my neck while finding it hard to breathe with my noses up her butthole (LOL)
But anyway she seems so enthused to try it and because she's my CF I did it just to please her!
CF?
CF = Current Favorite
For me, it depends on how well we get along. If she obviously just wants me to do my thing and leave, then there's not much I can do that's going to please her. Generally, I like to ask what she likes, or what I can do that helps turn her on. Sometimes you get that blank stare, or just a generic answer - and that's when I know.
When she responds positively, and is honest about it, then things go really well. I do like to take my time and generally do my best. If she's enjoying herself, chances are I will, too.
Does that mean she'll cum? Maybe. There's no guarantee - and that's really not the whole point. If we're both making efforts for both of our enjoyments, then that's what matters.
In addition, it does give a bit of intimacy as well!
address ends in "bfe". The time spend together should be mutually satisfying for both parties.
as long as I know that she really does want it. And I can usually tell. But at a minimum I want her to at least have a good time with my company, even if she doesn't feel it sexually. Just the fact that she's with me means that she's open for something different, so that in and of itself open lends itself to possibilities
I would love the opportunity to see you professionally.
Great discussion.
I believe "It ain't over till you both get your cookies".
At the same time, I know full well that is just an ideal. Some women just don't O very often.
For me, I follow the rule that the lady always comes first. Part of this is selfish. I am not small. If I don't give the provider a chance to self lubricate and get fully relaxed, I have found that it is not uncommon that I'm not going to be able to find a good fit with her (apologies for the double negative). Especially with the slimmer women who tend to be my preference.
But it isn't all out of selfishness. The best sex for me is one where I feel there is mutual trust. If she trusts me enough to let go and have a no-holds-barred unselfconscious O then it is much easier for me to relax and do the same. It just makes me feel really good to know that my partner is genuinely feeling good, too.
And, yeah, I get that this doesn't make me the classic dominant male kind of guy. It is who I am and I have to live with it. I've had enough women tell me "oh, you're so gentle" and "you're so nice" that I've come to realize that I might as well enjoy it.
I love to go down on a woman early in our session and just barely touch her with my tongue as I explore her sweet spots. Sort of like the scene in the movie Hitch where he's trying to teach his client to go 90% and let the girl come the last 10% for the first kiss. When I feel her arching into me and trying to match my rhythm (and increase the pressure) I then very, very gradually increase intensity while playing with the rhythm. Usually, it builds from there and a lot of mutual fun is had. Though sometimes a good bit of adjusting takes place as she reveals her preferences to me. Still, it's all fun.
One of my very favorite sessions happened when the provider said she would teach me what she likes. I always try to make sure my partner knows I want her to show me what makes her feel good if she's willing and able to trust me with that.
That said, I also prefer 90 minute and longer sessions. It just takes a lot of the performance pressure out of our time together I find.
and hopefully be someone who gets something out of this beyond just the $ (which is why carefully reading reviews is so important to me).
I'm going to be myself, and go with the flow, and enjoy trying to connect for a couple of hours. I like people, and every lady is so different, so that little bit of discovey of taking in what she is willing to share is critical. If the only thing open is her legs, then sure, I can have a great O, but not much else that would make me repeat. I'm very much a natural pleasure, so if she becomes comfortable with me and warms up and can let go enough to truly accept pleasure from me, then this turns me on even more, and things just escalate from there. But since all personalities are different, I go slow, and make no assumptions and have no set expectations for how she should react to me. If she pushes down on my head during DATY as she squeezes it like a vice between her legs, that's great - but so is gentle still moans of pleasure - or, I'd obviously stop if it wasn't working for her. Obviously I'm the paying customer, and I realize that every lady isn't always going to be in a frame of mind to enjoy sex with a stranger at the drop of a hat (could be a bad day, other life stresses going on, hates this job, etc.). BUT, there are ways to act and things to do that can INCREASE the chances that she will have a good time, and these things I try to do. Be myself, show an interest in her, go slow, be attentive to her signals. Then again, some ladies are just more mechanical and distant. Not much chance in having mutual pleasure with them. So in that case, I just hope for a mechanically good time - which for me means, I hope she is really tight.
I like mutual appreciation. It's hard to know what works for each provider as I can imagine the reverse is true. I love receiving especially if I feel my provider enjoys the giving. But I enjoy pleasuring my provider also probably at different levels simultaneously. It is gratifying knowing my efforts are welcomed and appreciated. Plus I just love the feel of a woman's body. It's a turn on to watch a woman being pleasured especially if I'm the one involved.
Otherwise I may as well just self stimulate. I am in it for the entire experience... Hopefully satisfying my provider at some level and then receiving from an enthusiastic provider.
So for me it works both ways.
Must be hidden somewhere. Rest is probably well known to many except the great discovery of, EVERY ONE IS DIFFERENT!
...so I'm a mutual appreciation client. Whether her response to my lovemaking is genuine or a great act, being made to feel like I'm the only guy in the world for the duration of the encounter is what fuels my desire and causes me to want to hurry back for more.
There are providers who genuinely like men and my experience with them is very telling of that. There are providers who just provide and their detachment is indicative of that
A notorious harlot named Hearst
In the pleasures of men was well versed
Hung a sign o'er the head of her well rumpled bed
"The customer always comes first