TER General Board

Oh you don't know the half...
hott_brie See my TER Reviews 502 reads
posted

I could tell you some stories.  I had a guy that I was performing oral on while his roommate was asleep.   Mr. Sleepyman farted loudly as he was snoring.  Trying to laugh with a dick in your mouth is no fun.  The guy I was with started laughing uncontrollably.  It definitely changed the mood.

Another time, I was doing doubles with another lady.  We both sat next to him in bed and asked what was he into.  A fart slipped out of him.  So I go, "that will be 50 extra."  Everyone started laughing.

Theterminator2439 reads

This can go for both parties but sometimes your body can emit some very bad smell no matter how hard you try to stop these emissions.  That old rotten egg smell can really kill the romance IMO. So. Is that a reasonable reason to cancel and is any party financially on the hook?  If I were doing silent but deadlies I'm pretty sure the lady would not want to experience them with me nor hers with me......so how would this work out financially and happily.

abcdguy679 reads

its a natural bodily function. Not always pleasant, but lighten up a little and have some fun.

Those really catch on fire.  I've had some nice blue flames.

You should check out some the videos on youtube.com.

Just try to ask her to remove her face from your nether region before you blast one.  It's only good manners.  If you have to go, excuse yourself to use the bathroom, take your crap, re shower and come back, but it's on your dime, not hers.  I try to do my business before I get to an incall, preferably at home, sometimes en route.  Either way, try to shower afterwards, you don't want to stink when you get there if you can help it, for obvious reasons.  Like you said, it's a bodily function and if coming on suddenly, I have been known to actually stand up and walk away from bed and provider before gassing.  Believe me, I have gotten appreciate remarks for it.  If excessively gassy I will sometimes try to reschedule, or call and explain situation if it's one that was a long time in planning.  At that point I let her make the call for cancellation or not.  Either way, going in silent but deadly is the best way for you to get on a gal's DNS list due to hygiene.  Thankfully, I think I have never made one of those lists due to my own precautions.  Just be clean and stink free as possible to have the best time possible.

Try and take a crap before you get intimate, shit/ shower/ shave. You can always change your diet, high fiber with plenty of water, and probiotics help clear out a lot too. If it's a true intestinal bug then please cancel! I would hate to rim an ass that has been having explosive shits that day! I think it is a part of hygiene, however, it can be managed. I make sure I eat light if I have a scheduled date, would hate for my stomach to make loud digestion noises or worse fart while he's DATY or while I am in doggie. But hey we are all human, it happens, just put it down in hobby bloopers.

When you rip one, just turn to Fido and say:  "Bad dog!  No more chili peppers for you."

In any case, I sure am glad that my farts smell like roses.



...and please close the bathroom door.  

Speaking of closing the bathroom door, when you take a shit don't leave the door open!  This is a "girlfriend experience" not the "wife experience.

Hansolo437 reads

Posted By: DateJessicaK

This is a "girlfriend experience" not the "wife experience."  
LOL... Classic

Feel free to just blast it out your ass.  You want more than to just get the windows to rattle.  You want to set off the tsunami warning sirens in Santa Monica and Malibu - no matter where in the country you are.  You want to get a 4.2 on the Richter scale at Caltech.  You want to knock birds out of the sky and strike fear into dogs as if it were the Fourth if July.

A gentleman always shares with the ladies after all.  She will appreciate your generosity.

I gulp about half a bottle a couple hours before the date. Don't eat much.  Always calms down my belly.

From a girl's crotch.  I do not stay, I leave during such an occurrence.  We need to be clean, both of us, to have a good time I think.

Reminds me of the smell emitting from the dumpster outside a seafood restaurant  in late august that only gets collected on a weekly basis.

... and the OP thinks flatuence is a problem?

I could tell you some stories.  I had a guy that I was performing oral on while his roommate was asleep.   Mr. Sleepyman farted loudly as he was snoring.  Trying to laugh with a dick in your mouth is no fun.  The guy I was with started laughing uncontrollably.  It definitely changed the mood.

Another time, I was doing doubles with another lady.  We both sat next to him in bed and asked what was he into.  A fart slipped out of him.  So I go, "that will be 50 extra."  Everyone started laughing.

Many hotels sell various medicines in the lobby, including GasX.

Saved my ass. Literally.

Ihaveabig1381 reads

I agree, even before I meet any ladies I go to the bathtoom in hotel and let it out,fart,shit etc.

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