nd the spelling police occupied.
Good day all. I have been fortunate to be able to see my favorite friend around once every 2-3 weeks for almost two years. We have traveled, spent overnights together and enjoyed each other over that time. Recently, as I have been trying to set up our next date, I am getting a vibe that I might not be as welcome as I used to be. No "I would love to see you then...", but rather "I can be available then...." Also, some pretty nice offerings (trips, events, etc.) have recently been declined. Her published schedule seems to indicate actually more availability in the past than what had been the case before. Have I worn out my "welcome?" How do you tell? Note that I always come with flowers, a gift, never negotiate, pay what is asked, host at 5-star hotels with candles and music, am fit and in shape, only email when trying to set up and confirm so do not hassle her, respect her privacy, book well in advance and am always clean and dressed professionally for our visits. Thank you for your thoughts, comments and opinions.
any time you get the sense that you are less appreciated and *especially* if quality and quantity of service drops off, go somewhere else, or at the very least take a break and then reduce frequency.
You would think that regulars would be the most appreciated - but it's basic psychology - once you are in her pocket, you get taken a bit for granted and the highest quality of effort goes to trying to convert newer clients into regulars - perhaps especially in a bad economy....
but regardless of that it's simple - if you are going to revisit with providers, do so on the basis only and completely of quality and quantity of service and attitude - if any of it slips take that as a serious sign that you need to rethink things.....
-- Modified on 9/6/2014 10:56:18 AM
totally on target response.
if a working girl can convert you into a faux boyfriend, appeal to your ego and get you treating her like a civvie date, it's a lot less wear and tear for the money.
Don't go there in the first place -
$ for service, plain and simple. Don't get confused about what you are doing here.
If she wants to hang with you as a "boyfriend" let her offer OTC (but don't ask)
if you're paying its a service - it's up to you to make sure you get your money's worth....
if you like the GFE choreography more power to you -
but at the end of the day, the girls who like wall to wall sex seem to keep up the performance level - because they are into it as well - whereas those who offer more slap and tickle than ass in motion tend to be the ones who will take you for granted in the long run....
-- Modified on 9/6/2014 11:40:51 AM
if I don't commit, I don't have to hear shit.
However there are men who actually like and want the "GFE choreography" and don't feel they are being cheated in any way. Not every guy is in this for the 59 minutes of fucking and the minute to get dressed and leave.
Markus, you like what you like, and that is great and you seek out hookers that are performance oriented. That does not mean, no matter how you want to spin it, that other ways are somehow traps to reduce fuck time. Not all men want what you want and certainly not all hookers provide the way you like them.
Please realize that P4P caters to many tastes and to use disparaging descriptors for the way some hookers provide and and what others johns prefer just because it is not to your liking just seems short sighted.
And to assume that a more GFE type attitude and environment means heading down the "taken for granted" road is a bad assumption.
And you assume the ladies that provide wall to wall sex are into it. You don;t really know that for sure. As well as assuming the ladies who provide a more real life girlfriend deal are looking for ways to take a guy for granted.
I have run my business the way you feel is cheating the client and I can tell you, I have clients I have had for years...let's just say more than 5 and I have managed to keep the illusion going very well and they don't feel as if I am taking them for granted. If they did, I am sure they would have left by now. These guys get OTC time and extended time. For these type of guys it is not all about how many positions, how many pops and watching the clock to get the most fuck time in to feel their experience was warranted.
The guys I see are in this for more than just the sex. I have found my niche where I can consistently provide good service for their entire list of needs, both physical and emotional and their need for intimacy. Why you feel the need to tarnish this way of hobbying or providing is beyond me. But not really a shock from a guy on here.
And I never thought of you as a "monies worth" buffet style trick but ya kinda are.
-- Modified on 9/7/2014 9:49:19 AM
-- Modified on 9/7/2014 9:57:12 AM
and it may be that she's simply burned out on you and run out of ways to entertain you.
I had a client who saw me like clockwork every 2 weeks for a year, and toward the end, I was finding it hard to keep coming up with exciting new options for him. And he was a lovely client that I really enjoyed... it was certainly nothing personal.
Maybe ease off the frequency, slide some other ladies into the mix, and give her a break. I'd be surprised if she isn't VERY happy to see you after a month or two of your absence.
Waaaaaay too much IMO.
I would guess It is easier for clients to control that than providers.
See me for 10 years twice a month. The first 5 was once a week but a giant tax bill dropped it to half. This guy is not all about the sex, we have a great time chatting and massaging etc. Some guys want more than a couple of holes to fill, I know hard to imagine on a fuck board but those are the guys I see and I love it!
not one who doesn't!
performanc
All he said was that she doesn't seem quite as "eager" to schedule their next date. He didn't mention anything about her performance being sub-par.
I was speaking more to the general situation not so much to the specifics of the OP -
but it sounds like their "relationship" is not so much about performance as pseudo-dating - their privilege of course....
For someone who tries to come across as worldly with a sense of class and money etc you are really very short sighted and ignorant to the needs of the rest of the people here. You keep pointing out that any hooker that does not provide the type service YOU like is short changing her clients.
How is it that you know what every guy wants out of this? You don't so please quit trying.
the boards are for expressing opinions - personal opinions and viewpoints, and for pulling one another's chain on occasion
I could care less what another guy wants from a sex worker. It's irrelevant to me. It's not my job to make his choice for him.
however in the context of this discussion I think it is fair to *add to the discussion* the viewpoint that what this sport is about is sex for money and that the measurement of customer satisfaction is "performance"
if others differ they are grown up men hopefully and can accept consider or refute my point of view at their leisure
but I do notice something *interesting*
a lot of SWs in similar threads seem to be threatened by the idea that value in P4P should be measured by, well, actually, having sex :p
I have to admit that this makes me wonder....
however in the context of this discussion I think it is fair to *add to the discussion* the viewpoint that what this sport is about is sex for money and that the measurement of customer satisfaction is "performance"
^^^^^^^ is how YOU see it and attain your level of satisfaction.
You use the word customer which seems all encompassing. If you expressed that this is the way you see it, absolutely your opinion.
Your measurement is performance (sexual activity), the guys I see it is not. They want the bubble baths, the mutual massages, the chat time. If that is what is missing in their lives and they are prepared to pay for that and sex, then that is the "performance" they crave and get.
Never hid the fact that I am all about a more expanded real life girl friend act than wall to wall sex. I found my niche, I do well, my clients are happy and prove that with return visits.
-- Modified on 9/7/2014 1:44:24 PM
What I've noticed is that a gal tends to morph over time. Sometimes it's that she's chasing for a real BF/GF. Sometimes she is seeking a different type of hooking deal (sugar baby). Sometimes she gets involved with "the gang from the other side of the tracks" and likes playing there.
The one thing that I am quite confident about is that it has nothing to do with you/me/other guy.
Time to move on and find a new one...there's no shortage here. And once your old gal pal is dropped by the new SD...expect to get the email/text "Hey sweetie...I miss you". Then you can decide if you want to see her again. But by then you will have realized that it was never about you...but she will be looking for those bucks again.
I suspect you're now wondering why in the hell you paid "rack rates" when others were (are) getting the OTC....the flowers/gifts are meaningless...and being "in shape" is really less important than whatever better deal she is getting with her new BF/SD.
how? C'mon now...
Steph 
He said it...I just regurgitated it.
He claims to "pay what is asked". Maybe she isn't asking for enough? Maybe he's lying?
And you know that no one ever lies
Steph
Isn't that what you are saying? Maybe you are giving her that vibe and have become more attached, at least from her point of view, lately.
You describe yourself as what most girls here would call a "perfect client." Girls crave guys like that in p4p, which tells me something else is going on here.
My guess is that from her side of this, she is backing you off and see if you get the hint, and if you don't you are on the path of her cutting you off.
This is nothing new. Virtually every girl has had several situations just like this. They almost always end in hurt feelings on the guys side.
My advice, which is almost never taken in these circumstances, is to back WAY off, give yourself a break from her, and see some other girls.
Honestly, if her schedule shows more availability, she's probably 1) getting way more emails and trying to hurry through them and 2) already busy and cannot accept your trips.
Don't take her verbiage so personally until her actual actions towards you start showing something else. Remember that this is no strings attached, so if it upsets you that you aren't getting more attention over email, you may be forgetting what you're paying for, while she's just going on about her merry way.
Thank you! For those in the "camp" of take a break or find someone else...would you just "walk" or first "talk"?
Be it business, personal or some gray area. Don't walk, ask her if she's feeling any pressure because of the frequency. You may not get an honest answer but there will be cues. Who knows she may have something going on in her personal life and can only do those short answers. You'll never know what's going on until you communicate with her about this.
I think it's highly doubtful that she wants to dump you as a client. You sound delightful so maybe you need a little distraction with another lady, but if you like your favorite lady don't walk just maybe skip a month. Have some fun with a new lady then go back to your special favorite.
Also I have to ask...has she been different is person, or just in emails?
xoxo,
Steph
-- Modified on 9/6/2014 10:12:17 AM
Thank you for your reply, and I agree entirely that good communication is essential. I hate to just walk. We have talked about frequency, etc. before and I was told all is well. To answer your question, it has just been recent emails. We actually have not see each other for a month now but will soon.
So see how things go on the actual date. Actions speak much louder than words!
"...only email when trying to set up and confirm so do not hassle her."
Now you're talking about "recent emails" even though "We actually have not see each other for a month..."
If you haven't seen her for a month, why the "recent emails?" If you only email her to set up and confirm appointments, what's going on with these recent emails? Maybe you ARE hassling her.
...been trying to set up his next appointment, but he's also emailing her for travel dates and to take her to events. That doesn't sound like his claim that he only only emails when trying to set up and confirm.
But that's me. I'm not much of a repeater, I usually have a rotation of providers I see, so that I don't fall into the situation you've described.
Agree... a rotation of favorites smooths things out & gives options if one is unavailable. If she has declined events that you think she'd have accepted before... she might be busy... as In a relationship or other demands on her time. Without burning bridges, you might explore what's going on in her life. Accept what she says & don'y pry.
When you start believing it is long term and real, you have become a moron.
Nme of the game is for “you to be control”.
Do you type with a etch-a-sketch?
nd the spelling police occupied.
Maybe in the beginning you were the great client clean, "fit and in shape", visited every 2-3 weeks and offered trips and dinner.
Then progressed into the needy client? Maybe you see something that is not reality and became the client that expects the dinners and vacations rather than request them.
Could you potentially have overstepped your bounds or freyed the relationship in asking her to drop, professional and personal endeavors to be with you?
It could be a variety of simplicities you have failed to realise:
You are too needy?
You expect too much?
She has changed over two years?
You have changed over two years?
She has other clients?
Simple burnout of the frequency of appointments
And he never said she didn't have other clients. Did you read his OP, I'm not seeing where he overstepped.
Steph
I have seen a woman in this industry for a great number of months, so I know how frequency can lead to unrealistic expectations. On both sides.
You are correct I inferred the majority of my post from his headline "stringing along"
People jump off tall buildings based on comments made here. Please be a responsible poster...or are you a poser?
-- Modified on 9/6/2014 8:02:11 PM
and by that I mean thinks you're a good client ( not this OTC nonsense) she will not forget you after not seeing her for 3-6 months between appointments. Caveat being many ladies dont last past 2-3 years in the business. From personal experience I would say over a year can cause loss of momentum.
[
But there really is a connection that human beings develop when they get naked and press their bodies together. Call it magic. Call it science. You can even call it love, but around the lowlife degenerates on this board.
So let's go with magic. The magic happens to YOU and when you get the itch this one provider is the first (only?) one who comes to mind as to who you'd like to scratch it. Magic. She thinks that's sweet, and begins to like you as a client, and plays her side of things very carefully. She doesn't want to lose you. It's a Nash Equilibrium, but let's stick with magic. So SHE gets the magic like you got the magic, but after a couple of years she relaxes a little bit in the emails and just says, "Yeah, sure, come on over." Magic wears off sometimes.
So if that ain't it, maybe she's suddenly found this same kind of magic with someone else, and her heart just isn't in the game these days, 'cause keeping it fresh with someone new is taking up the energy magic gives us.
Either way, you've already gone about as far as you can go with this "relationship," and you can: A) Live with it, she'll probably still welcome your money, or B) find someone new on the mall and try to get that magic going with a brand-new face.
Either way, you'll have fun, and that's the important thing.
She is not stringing you along – quite the opposite, in fact. She senses that you may be blurring the boundaries so she is limiting her availability for outings and using the language of business to nudge you back to reality without hurting your feelings or creating an awkward scene.
This is a common strategy when an otherwise good, long term client seems to be getting too attached
I may need to re-read the Hobbyist 101 book.
Or is that only in the Hooking for Dummies book I've had laying around?
This is a common strategy when an otherwise good, long term client seems to be getting too attached.
“Revenue without Romance – Maintaining Boundaries During Compensated Intimacy.”
If you read it to me
she could read the phone book and it would be hot.
Lots of characters, but no plot.
Plot? What's that? If you are doing the reading, appropriately clad, no plot is required.
that she is taking you for granted. You might want to see some other ladies and then try this ATF again to see if there is a renewed spark.
Just a tone to her emails!
-- Modified on 9/6/2014 8:52:28 PM
And is waiting for him to leave. Sometimes firing a john is a shit show. This way may not be perfect but eventually he will get the hint.