Gangsta, has presented the opportunity for a female rapper to spit about menstruating in a tricks mouth.
This may have been broached before, but I've been curious how providers are able to avoid the development of romantic feelings with clients, particularly with those ladies who themselves have ATFs. Given the highly intimate nature of the hobby, it would seem more than likely to have happened. I'm intrigued by how these feelings are either avoided or professionally dealt with. Even more interesting would be those providers who have an established romantic life. Curious to hear any ladies thoughts and if they have experience with this and are willing to share...
How do you trust a prostitute that uses a sponge to soak that nasty possibly HIV or HPV laiden shit pretending they ain't on their period. Have you ever gotten a hoe's period in your mouth? It's gross. This homeboy gonna stay far away from dining at the Y. I ain't no CUNT DRACULA
TER clearly states you wont allow any type of posters trying to offend others... how come your posts keep getting posted??? You were bitching about what some providers play on their phones when you go see them... you made reference that they would play rap and such... have you read how you express yourself? a rapper at least has talent... you're rude and and have no class.
Gangsta, has presented the opportunity for a female rapper to spit about menstruating in a tricks mouth.
Your posts have become a constant diarrhea of hateful drivel.......
Save your hateful comments to situations that warrant them. You are already gone to become full blown troll...
Its one thing to make an offhanded comment here and there, but you are nonstop dude.... Dawg...Stop it while you can....
If all of the "hoes" that you so nicely like to call them are riddle with disease why the fuck do you fuck them???? Oh and I for one LOVE the sea sponge.....me and hubby made use of one just last night.........and being a female hobbiest I have used them with providers,and THEY have NO problem going down on me......those little sponges make things pretty much vacuum sealed!!! Maybe you should find a new hobby......like painting or knitting.
...If she accepts it and then gives you $20. back, that's proof of countertransference.
BTW, you should be blacklisted simply for using the word "countertransference" on a fuckboard.
When money is exchanged, it is an unwritten contract that there are no feelings. If she is willing to give up the money for a geniune relationship with him, then there may be some real feelings there. But to start a relationship on a "fantasy" is ridiculous. It can happen, but there aren't that many exceptions to the rule.
I myself thrive on NSA sex. If I weren't in this arena, then I would seek it out elsewhere. On a basic level, I am very open, comfortable and friendly. Deep down, I am very guarded with my romantic feelings and noncommittal. Just the rush of having a stranger touching me and giving pleasure is enough feeling for me. And the fact there is money involved keeps things in perspective as well.
you meet someone
you have some sort of chemistry or perhaps through a job or common interest you develop a liking for one another
perhaps you date or perhaps it goes right to a zipless
it's a fantasy - maybe not as intense a fantasy as P4P but still a fantasy at that stage
you don't know someone til you've lived with them......
and even if you live together out of wedlock, when you tie the not things get even more "real"
now I will say that P4P is the height of fantasy -
and I will admit that I've had occasional feelings stir - one of the reasons I don't repeat anymore -
and that there have been feelings expressed for me -
but here's the deal -
P4P is one of the worst possible situations out of which to build a real relationship -
the fantasy level is at its highest - you are both trying to be your best for one another and totally outside of the context of "real life"
the more "real" it gets the more fragile it becomes...
and why would you want to ruin a perfectly good thing?
we have feelings just like you do. Our existence is as legitimate as your reasons to seek providers. We aren't less of a human being than you. To be in a successful romantic relationship and do what I do is near impossible, based on my experience. I really am glad for girls who have managed to find an understanding and loving guy who accepts us for who we are and not what we do.
To answer your question. Its hard to reconcile both worlds. Really hard. You get emotionally attached to some of your clients yet you can't fully show the way you feel for fear of rejection or for fear that he won't feel quite the same. and vice versa .
Yes this has been broached before. Plenty of time in fact. By lot of curious noobs just entering the hobby...
The answer is simple enough. Providers can easily avoid this issue by thinking about one thing: $$$
They can't possibly having romantic feeling/relationship because once they do the clients will no longer be a clients meaning the clients stop paying for sex!
Surely you're not so curious/concern because you think most johns are 20-30 something looking like Brad Pitt and having bank accounts just as big?
No, he wants the ladies to share their ATF's ?
"ladies who themselves have ATFs. and are willing to share..."
I have friends who left the hobby to be with ATFs. One is living with him and raising his kids (guess he preferred his provider to remarrying after divorce), and the other manages one of the ATF’s businesses in OC. So yes-it can and does happen…but the Providers I know wouldn’t go without a significant commitment from the ATF… and that takes $$$
I have very strong feelings for one of my clients, and he sees me regularly. I appreciate what we have and seeing him makes me nervous and giddy.. But I would never tell him that, and try not to talk about anything even remotely close to seeing him on the side… but yes huge crush and completely look forward to our time together…
My ATF likes me a certain way, he pays for the privilege to only see me at my best & NSA
I'm good with that...He's happy, I'm happy.
I have one of those too, Alyssa. It's a wonderful feeling really. He has similar feelings, and we both know it can never be more than what it already is. I won't be here forever, and he's married to his best friend.
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, IMO.
I have very strong feelings for one of my clients, and he sees me regularly. I appreciate what we have and seeing him makes me nervous and giddy.. But I would never tell him that, and try not to talk about anything even remotely close to seeing him on the side… but yes huge crush and completely look forward to our time together…
My ATF likes me a certain way, he pays for the privilege to only see me at my best & NSA
I'm good with that...He's happy, I'm happy..
Dear Ms. Hille:
The underlying question is how well have you mastered the art of compartmentalization for business and emotional self preservation? Once you have mastered that then being functional in this business will be easier and optimal
Why would I want to compartmentalize my emotions?
I use them in my sessions... they love it...
I know I have sex but the sex is for the john, not for me. I have clients that are very nice men but I am not physically attracted to them. The sexual component is for them and as long as I do the job I am being paid for and they are happy and want to come back, that is all I require as far as job satisfaction.
My ATF's are guys I get along with as a person. It does not mean I am attracted to them. I do spend OTC time as I would with any friend, time permitting, not to mention good for the business relationship.
You require reviews and I don't have any so we are both safe...LOL
I do require a way of screening you, but, as we both know, reviews are only one way of doing that. I also don't always write a review.
...lunch box with the image of your favorite heartthrob on it...
Sometimes it's just a job, and sometimes I'm in lovvvvve.
Feelings are never the problem, it's the insane belief feelings are/should be attached to actions that causes trouble.
they are symptoms of a biological state - not objective reality....
if we remember that and take the time to evaluate our feelings we can be free to have a richer emotional life without allowing feelings to dictate actions that cause us grief, one way or another....
I don't disagree in principle with your view about not letting emotions sweep us away, but I think you might be giving emotions less than their full due.
It is easy to rationalize away any actions that are based on emotion because they are not logical, but then what do we become?
I think there are times to listen to the emotions more than the rational side, lest we not develop fully in that dimension.
Or, as I like to say: You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs.
-- Modified on 9/5/2014 6:11:16 AM
WTF is countertransference?..is that like swapping your love juices?..just askin..
The problem is the "all or nothing" mentality that it appears many fall into, where the slightest bit of chemistry or mutual affection is interpreted as THE ONE to fall devotedly head over heels for. There's a broad spectrum of affection, and you can even find yourself caring deeply for someone without wanting to POSSESS them. The ladies who do this well have figured out how to decouple the societal expectation of commitment from simply enjoying casual fun and even deep affection with another. Some may even find it liberating.
Appreciate the thoughtful and honest responses. This would be an interesting research project if one could get it past an Institutional Review Board. My hypothesis is that it's seldom just about the physical interaction for most; otherwise why not just chance it with a streetwalker? It's the connection that provides a lot of the interest on the client side and I'd assumed it (the connection) was an enjoyable benefit for the ladies. It seems that it can't be exclusively about the Benjamins, but where the heart goes comes the risk.