I get that guys approach this differently, some just want in and out, some (like me) an hour or two but the overnight thing gives me pause. I mean, it's a fantasy no matter how long the session but it strikes me that overnight may introduce a level of intimacy that is not necessarily a healthy thing. So gentlemen, have your overnights by and large been amazing experiences that you'd repeat and recommend? Ladies, I think us guys would love to hear how you really feel about overnights, but unfortunately you have quite the financial incentive to respond with "overnights rule!" I'm curious, though, will any be so bold as to express their true feelings? My $$ says no, surprise me.
Full disclosure, I'm toying with the idea of doing an overnight with a particular girl so this is a self-serving post...though really aren't they all
There are pro's to this though, you get to see the full girl, you get to cuddle like she's really your girlfriend,
You also get to hear her fart, smell bad breath, or on occasions blow chunks, you get to see all sorts of shit. You see what she looks like with minimal make up.
I have only done overnights when there's a lot of chemistry and connection between the girl and I and generally don't like doing them with a new girl.
Not only is it hard to sleep well when there's a different girl next to me, I also don't see much point paying a girl to watch her sleep. In fact, I'm not even watching her sleep, I'm asleep too so I can't watch her sleep.
Sometimes I get lucky and click with the girl, it can turn into a day or several days of OTC overnights (minus some wining dining). If it's a genuine relationship then I feel much more comfortable doing overnights, lo
blurred lines if the chemistry is there and both people are "open" for feelings. Especially if the guy repeats frequently. They are great fun in my opinion. Also great financially. Other girls hate them and prefer the client to go away after 1-2 hrs max. It's just really an individual preference from the guys and girls standpoint.
I posted this when I first started on this ter and I literally got hammered. I am sure you won't be. I agree that the girl has to be very special. I also think that the night should be well planned. But i'm certainly no authority. I can't seem to get one. Most guys I talk with say that the fantasy is better than the reality. But why take their word for it.
There's an element of risk, which is usually a good thing in terms of the experience. But I don't think you can calculate it as you would a multihour session. It's just a different thing with different dynamics.
For me, it's most natural- we begin by meeting for dinner and then we graduate to more intimate epicurean delights. After some wild fun we sleep, and then wake up for more fun. Then we enjoy a nice breakfast together. It follows a very real path that's taken in real life with dates, and takes the "business" out if it. We can more readily be ourselves and behave like lovers.
I also have no problem doing them with someone I've never met before. If I agree to an overnight with you, I'm fairly certain I would love to spend that much time with you.
My overnights are 12 to 14 hours long, giving time for dinner and breakfast. All my overnight gents have thus far been perfect gentlemen in terms of allowing me the sleep I need, and vice versa. And I adore morning sex! So great time all around.
Posted By: thehumanist
Ladies, I think us guys would love to hear how you really feel about overnights, but unfortunately you have quite the financial incentive to respond with "overnights rule!" I'm curious, though, will any be so bold as to express their true feelings? My $$ says no, surprise me.
Well, you have my truth. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you. But how jaded is that? You've worded it so that anything but "I hate overnights" would be presumed to be disingenuous.
I did load the question. But as you said, you "can be yourselves and behave like lovers." But you're NOT lovers, no matter how many reviews include the phrase "we blah blah blah like long lost lovers"...blech. I'm quite sure an overnight has its moments, and that those moments are fun indeed, but what I'm more interested in is whether the overnight gets too personal too quickly and thus weird...but it seems your experiences have been positive, and I find that extraordinary if many of them have been with guys you're meeting for the first time.
if we met here? Why can't we be lovers within our little necessary boundaries? That's how I approach my friends. I have the ability to love just about anyone. That's why I'm here. Being a hedonist I would have chosen another path if most of this did not please me.
No- I've never experienced the awkwardness you refer to. We all know our places in this little dance we do. I would caution against trying this with someone too young. You're best doing this with someone who has some experience.
I probably do at least a half a dozen of them a month, some with women I know, many with women I have never met. Like I have said before, the hobby gives an average guy with a few bucks to spend the ability to have the sex life of a rock star. lol
Personally I like falling asleep with a woman, waking up with her in the morning, having sex, and then having her leave without the issues of having to be responsible for another human being all day.
I don't feel the least bit awkward either, and I often have overnights with women thirty years younger than me or even younger, it's never been a issue for me.
For me, it's most natural- we begin by meeting for dinner and then we graduate to more intimate epicurean delights. After some wild fun we sleep, and then wake up for more fun. Then we enjoy a nice breakfast together. It follows a very real path that's taken in real life with dates, and takes the "business" out if it. We can more readily be ourselves and behave like lovers.
I also have no problem doing them with someone I've never met before. If I agree to an overnight with you, I'm fairly certain I would love to spend that much time with you.
My overnights are 12 to 14 hours long, giving time for dinner and breakfast. All my overnight gents have thus far been perfect gentlemen in terms of allowing me the sleep I need, and vice versa. And I adore morning sex! So great time all around.
Posted By: thehumanist
Ladies, I think us guys would love to hear how you really feel about overnights, but unfortunately you have quite the financial incentive to respond with "overnights rule!" I'm curious, though, will any be so bold as to express their true feelings? My $$ says no, surprise me.
Well, you have my truth. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you. But how jaded is that? You've worded it so that anything but "I hate overnights" would be presumed to be disingenuous.
They have a vested financial interest and it shades there judgement. SO many girls over the years I have done the 4 hour thing with will email me when money's tight/rent is due and say "how about an overnight? They're great!"
Well, they are def great for the gal....but....for the guy? Hmmmm...not THIS guy.
I figured out years ago the best way, for me at least, to make it way more fun is to spend 3-4 hours with her at night and then have her come back the next morning for two hours. You get the morning sex, a better hard on, something to look forward to after she leaves, a fkin GREAT nights sleep AND save a good buck to boot! Not bad huh?
But Some guys get off watching the girl sleep. That's their bag and def not for me.
Disappointing as it may be, I have yet to meet an overnight that I didn't enjoy. This includes the first-date overnights, which many people here will caution against. If I had any horror stories, I promise I'd dish the dirt! But the maximum gore I can offer is some bad snoring and the occasional bathroom related awkwardness.
As far as the OPs concern about introducing an unhealthy level of intimacy to a P4P relationship... there is some possibility of becoming uncomfortably intimate with your partners bowel habits! But I haven't personally experienced any awkwardness or discomfort on an emotional level. Maybe I've just been extraordinarily lucky? I hope other ladies will chime in. Prurient me would also like to hear a horror story or two. :-
Some girls hate them, some won't even entertain the idea of them. So far all but 1 of my experiences have been lovely with overnights. I love the idea of not being pressured with time and getting to really relax with each other. You have to be comfortable enough with each other to spend that amount of time and sleep next to each other ect. I Don't do an overnights with someone I was meeting for the first time though. You have no idea how it will go or how you'll get along. But overall I'm a fan.
...I'll even go for multi-day dates if "the chemistry is right". But I'm aware I'm in the minority on my preferences on this point.
There is one young lady with whom I frequently do multi-days (where "frequently" = about six or eight times per year, and "multi-day" = two to four days per engagement...yeah, I really like her, and looking at it from her side, I don't care how good the money is, I know she must be genuinely enjoying spending time with me also).
And btw, not every provider likes to do overnights--some do, some don't.
Try it once. Isn't the whole point of all this that you get to do new things and have new experiences?
first - it's mostly going to be sleep. people do need to do that. and I've never had to pay for sleep....
second - I sleep better in familiar surroundings anyway
and third
1 to 2 hrs are all I need to enjoy a visit. If she likes me and wants my company beyond that and if I have time I'm happy to hang out, go to dinner, just talk and catch up. I enjoy being *friends* with some of the ladies I've known - but I'm not really interested in creating the illusion of closeness with providers. I genuinely like many of the providers I've had the opportunity to get to know, but I don't believe in blurring the lines and creating some illusion of intimacy or romance.
If she likes me and wants my company beyond that and if I have time I'm happy to hang out, go to dinner, just talk and catch up.
Lol! How generous of you. I hope they're grateful.
I don't believe in blurring the lines and creating some illusion of intimacy or romance.
Sigh. Which do you *really* think blurs the lines?? Paid extended time together where each person understands the rules *because* of the envelope? Or OTC time where there are no rules? Much easier for lines to get blurry there, my friend.
it is not at all impossible to become friends with someone in this biz. Friends enjoy one another's company and the support of being able to talk to someone who has at least some understanding of their life, someone they don't have to hide a good bit of their reality from....
and
when I've stayed over night - or when the lady has - it's been as friends, not as a continuation of the date. I've had zero expectations of any continuing service.....
it has happened because
we both got blasted as well as fucking one another into the ground and for one or the other of us to drive somewhere did not make sense
because she was traveling and I was putting her up
because we had not had a chance to catch up with one another in a while
at my place - separate rooms are in order.
I find it easy personally to shift from P4P to friendship - some providers do as well - and some do not.... but there is no blurring of the lines here -
I'm not saying friendships can't form. I'm just fascinated by how many men here are so opposed to giving a woman compensation for her time and yet will readily gobble it up under the guise of "friendship". I just think it's taking advantage.
In all honesty you probably don't deserve my wrath on this one, but your post triggered an issue I have with men taking advantage. You have to understand that most of the men who brag about OTC time with ladies here are referring to very young women and the power dynamic is terribly unequal. Those young women are manipulated into this OTC time as they fear a bad review or some equally unappealing consequence of refusal. I really don't know if this pertains to you or not. Of course nobody wants to admit they are taking advantage of anyone.
Otoh, these same guys balk when their "friend" asks them for a loan or some other financial support. Or maybe they don't- maybe they give it, but then you can see where lines get blurred? Ironically the ones who brag about OTC are the same ones who paint all providers with the same brush: desperate for cash, can't make the rent, blah blah. Of course that's what they assume all providers are like- those are often the only types they see! Lol.
In all fairness, I've not seen you go in that direction.
Most of the time I agree wholeheartedly with your posts. Not this time though. But as you say- to each his and her own. I'm just pointing out how I see things. That envelope keeps things crystal clear. But then your overnights are vastly different than paid ones.
and I recall only once - and that at invitation - to even suggest OTC activities -
I would certainly never attempt to coerce someone into giving me "services" or OTC - I don't really see the upside - who wants to be with someone under those circumstances? It's pathological.....
and - honestly - I don't have to attempt to coerce anyone with respect to OTC - I seem to be fairly popular company - maybe because I am confident, experienced, and a good listener and supportive.... and because I don't blur the lines....
If you are comfortable enough with her to try it, it is the real GFE. You are right about the level of intimacy. If you aren't ready to go there, don't do it.
In the course of 12 hours or so, any acting on either side would wear thin, so you are going to get to know the real person behind her escort identity and she will get to know you to some extent too. If you are compatible enough to let her see who you really are and you are interested in seeing who she really is, it can be a lot of fun.
I wouldn't do it on a first date, though. An overnight is a lot more intimate than just f***ing. It would not be fun for either of you if you didn't get along well.
It's quite a beautiful experience to share a secret world with another and the intimacy enhances the sex. It has the same dynamics as a one night stand
... and you're absolutely right that with an overnight date, you get to know more about the person behind the escort persona, and she gets to know more about the client.
I've enjoyed my overnight dates immensely. But they were with a provider with whom I'd already had many dates, and thus we had established mutual trust and understanding of what each of us desired out of an overnight date. And we enjoyed each others' company, so the thought of an extended date was enticing to both of us... and not just for the money, on her part. On an hourly basis, she made less than $50/hour for the dates, including dinner. Special "VIP" rate, I guess. But I think she had a good time, also.
Waking up next to a beautiful woman in her natural state (no makeup), who was eager for pre-breakfast play (which I hadn't experienced in nearly 30 years prior to the first overnight date), and having lots of time the night before and that morning for conversation (some pretty deep) and laughter, and everything else, was something I'll remember forever.
Diminishing marginal returns...I'm not sure I would value the overnight as much as I know I value the 4 or 5 one hour sessions I can get for the same money.
No, and even if I did that would be irrelevant to this discussion. A person's marginal propensity to consume a good or service is a function of the utility he or she derives from that good or service. If I don't enjoy wine it's not rational for me to pay $100 or more for a Bordeaux (or $5 for night train for that matter). Whether consciously or not every guy figures out his expected utility and sees girls based on that, and perhaps chooses to forgo other goods and services (or not) based on that mental utility calculation; for example, by choosing fucking over golfing. Sorry to anyone that thinks that sounds cold but this ain't coed dorm dating, it's the selling and consumption of a service (fictionally speaking of course). I started the thread because I'm not sure the overnight "date" meets my utility threshold and I was curious how others saw it.
The only way you can determine your valuation of the service for such a calculation is to actually experience it. The opportunity cost of experiencing a single overnight (you put it at 3-4 one hr dates) is only meaningful if there are only a definite number of dates in your future.
I am hoping my number is 7,974 more dates left before I kick the bucket. So I guess if I have to reduce that number to 7,970 to allow for an overnight, I guess I can live with that, but in my case I am hoping that of my finite number of remaining dates, at least 20% of them will be those of the overnight variety.
Don't you know that you are REQUIRED to do things according to however public opinion on this board tells you to do???
In all seriousness, it is your money AND your choice. Hopefully you have a few new thoughts on the subject that you hadn't considered before. Personally, if budget were even the least concern, I would opt for several one hour or two hour sessions over one overnight. I enjoy doing them, but if you want to talk "value" I doubt that there is any, unless of course you really enjoy spending the whole night with a woman.
I personally don't see how it blurs any lines unless you are one of those guys who falls easily for providers, and I haven't noticed that propensity in any of your posts, not that I recall of course.
It's funny how we are "cheap" about some things and couldn't care less about money about others. I don't have any issues at all about blowing a grand for dinner, but when I go to the market, I'll be damned if I will pay $20 a pound for filet mignon. It's all what you think is worth it.
who really just like some companionship with someone they are comfortable with, someone they a can talk to, who has at least some understanding of their context.....
but I'm not really the "make her earn it" sort of guy.... I like to let things sort themselves out as a rule...
I've done over a dozen with several ladies, and all were memorable and most excellent experiences. I would repeat with all of them, and probably will.
Regarding your comment about elevated intimacy, that's kinda the point. If you are toying with the idea of doing so and can afford it, why not give it a try? You'll most likely be glad that you did...
I have no desire to spend that much time with someone where I had to be on for that long. I can manage an hour or two but that's about it. I like my sleep and would not appreciate being woken up to give a BJ because he needed to get his monies worth. And who the hell wants to watch a hooker sleep? A waste of money.
With me, we are usually both hammered at some time during the evening, so she doesn't have to worry, (nor is it likely that she is even capable) about being "on" for the entire time.
I treat most of my overnight "dates" just like I would if I picked up a civvie girl at the bar. Unlike most of the guys here, I don't put a tenth of the thought into them that they do. I simply "have a good time" Sometimes there is a lot of fucking, sometimes very little. I think one of the worst things about overnight dates for most mongers/hookers is "grand expectations" Frankly I don't have any expectations except that I plan on having fun with a sexy woman and that at some point during the evening I am going to "get my pee pee wet" I don't bother planning on how many times as that just sets you up for disappointment.
Most have these lofty expectations that I could not deal with at the best of times let alone all fucking night...lol. IMHO, you do it right. It's the checklist dudes that I find annoying, but each to his or her own. I know I won't be doing one in this life time.
And I can tell you for sure the worst thing for her is looking at your ugly mug in the morning, lol! Of course, that's one reason I don't do overnights myself. In the morning I look luck a fucking Cro Magnon Man. She would have every right to take one look at me and run shrieking from the room. I won't inflict that on any woman. You, on the there hand, are a heartless bastard.
None of them ever have to actually look at me until they are about to leave, and my ugly "morning look" ensures that they actually go. That's my safeguard against women getting too attached to me and not wanting to leave. They don't necessarily run shrieking from my room, but most of the time they do leave without a lot of undue encouragement. lol
If one is obsessed with getting as much bang for his buck as possible, I'd suggest staying away from extended engagements. If at some time you want to just have a great time with another human being, following a more natural course of events rather than an appointment to do a checklist of things, then extended time with your preferred lady can be stellar. Nice to know some here get it. ;
I don't have an overnight rate because I go to sleep at a decent hour and I will be sleeping the whole night UNINTERRUPTED. I mainly offer them to the gents I really like that booked me for dinner date to avoid drunk driving and so we can snuggle. Sometimes, they'll take me to breakfast or they'll drive me to work in the morning.
I'm not particularly fond of sleeping alone anyhow, so it's a win-win.
Posted By: thehumanist
Ladies, I think us guys would love to hear how you really feel about overnights, but unfortunately you have quite the financial incentive to respond with "overnights rule!" I'm curious, though, will any be so bold as to express their true feelings?
But seriously, I really enjoy the overnights. So much so that I only charge $200 - $400 more than my 4 hr rate. That breaks down to about $25 - $50/ hr vs my $600/hr (2 hr min). And you really can't beat morning sex.
Posted By: thehumanist
I get that guys approach this differently, some just want in and out, some (like me) an hour or two but the overnight thing gives me pause. I mean, it's a fantasy no matter how long the session but it strikes me that overnight may introduce a level of intimacy that is not necessarily a healthy thing. So gentlemen, have your overnights by and large been amazing experiences that you'd repeat and recommend? Ladies, I think us guys would love to hear how you really feel about overnights, but unfortunately you have quite the financial incentive to respond with "overnights rule!" I'm curious, though, will any be so bold as to express their true feelings? My $$ says no, surprise me.
Full disclosure, I'm toying with the idea of doing an overnight with a particular girl so this is a self-serving post...though really aren't they all?
This lifestyle runs the risk of crossing intimacy boundaries no matter what the amount of time... What counts is knowing what it is you hope to get out of the experience, and choosing a companion that suits that need and is on the same page with that intent.
A single guy, or someone that is missing intimacy in their life, might very well want a higher level of GFE, and an overnight experience that feels like a date they might have with a SO. What truly separates the courtesans from simple "service providers" are those that can gently steer to allow for genuine intimacy and affection while helping keep the client grounded in the reality of the situation. Lesser skilled companions might default to "acting", or not rocking the boat by confronting possible boundary issues, leaving a host of possible problems occurring on either side. But if one knows what they truly want (and can be honest with themselves about that, because yeah...sometimes we lie to ourselves) people can and do share deeper levels of intimacy...in professional relationships, or other non-monogamous situations...and still keep boundaries in place.
But in general, I love overnights when everyone is on the same page. Not everyone is though, so I don't take every offer that comes my way...
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