So I've only been in the hobby for a few months, but in that time I have seen a fair number of girls. Most of the girls I find attractive, some of them I find interesting, but very few of them really blow me away. The girls that do blow me away are usually established, keep things professional, and make it clear that their performance is pretend. All, except one.
Last week I met a girl, and the moment I walked in the door I said "Wow". This girl is sexy, smart, funny, sassy, and overall just enthralling to be with. We have an amazing session together, have a great conversation together, and afterwards we decide to grab a bite to eat. "OTC time? Gee this girl must really like me!"
Before saying goodbye to her for the night, I told her "Wow, you sure know how to provide a girlfriend experience!" to which she replied "What do you mean? This is how I really am". Which only cemented the idea in my head that she actually wanted to date me and wasn't just pretending (wrong). That, on top of me reading about providers dating hobbyists really pushed me over the edge.
I end up falling head over heels with this girl and book three more sessions, the first two are amazing (all longer than the hour that I paid for), but the third one was actually kind of bad because she finally gets that I "like" like her. She gets mad at me and insists that I don't know her, that she's just pretending, and when I asked her why she told me she wasn't faking she says "I'm not faking because I'm a real person, I'm never fake". I still don't know what that means, but I'm sitting here legitimately heartbroken because this girl is my dream girl.
I think I'm going to take a break from the hobby for a while.
She wasn't for real... And all this time he's been paying her. Hah
don't beat yourself up..there are about 4500 more girls that are just like her.. =-) if not better..( even tho..she sounds like a great actress)
... that providers can make excellent girlfriends... for an hour. Or for however long the session lasts. That's what you're paying them to be, when you see providers who offer GFE. Some fellows never learn this lesson.
I really don't know how you could have construed this provider's remarks to mean that she wanted to date you. She likely wasn't faking. She was being as good a "girlfriend" as she could for you during your sessions.
Excellent idea to take a break from the hobby for awhile... until you can learn to separate fantasy from reality.
Now I'm sure we're about to have a dick size thread very soon.
I wish this would get moved to the newb board. Some here seem to have forgotten about those rookie mistakes from back in the day!
I know I made some doozies!
Steph xoxo
-- Modified on 8/21/2014 4:40:35 PM
Reality can be a bitch . . . Feel for the OP
What you got is first degree burns from getting too close. They'll heal up and leave no scars in about a month.
Many guys get second degree love burns that take years to go away, and then there a the real sad cases of third degree burns that never heal, and leave a fellow crippled for life.
Now, a few words about the difference between "guy" logic and "girl" logic:
When a guy accuses a gal of being "fake", she rebels from this and says she is real, because she doesn't want to be seen as fake. (Who does?) So, she tells you she is real. But, guys, with our one dimensional logic, take this at face value and do this guy logic thing where we see only two states: Real (She loves me!), or fake (She doesn't love me.)
But there is a third, and very vast middle to this where a gal sort of likes some things about you but isn't quite sure herself so she says the stuff that she'd like you to hear, but not to take to heart too much, just enough to keep coming back and seeing her without being a nuisance.
You however, stepped over the nuisance line. Further, you tried to put her in a "logic box", and gals don't like such boxes, and especially not a male - only two states - logic box.
Hopefully you are now a sadder but wiser guy. Take a few weeks off and read the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Please leave $50 with the receptionist as you go out.
Next!
for newbies -
but it's relevant to all of us who are at times prone to confusion in matters of male / female communication.....
Cheers
It's called "Mongering Like Yoda," and is available at Amazon.com in hard cover and on Kindle. I have a personally autographed copy signed by mrfisher, "To my dear friend and mentor. I would be nothing without you."
Not over complicating the transaction.
Some guys want to fuck up a good thing???? I really don't get it. She's a great person, that's wonderful, it's very cool to like someone who you'te having sex with. But she's with you because you're paying her to be. Enjoy it, have a great time with a great lady, and then leave. It's really a simple arrangement. Why fuck it up?
not in a weeks time. And 3 paid dates in one week with her and you are only 2 months in, WAYYY to much, IMO!
First I think she could have handled it with more grace than it seems she did. And I'm sorry she didn't.
Please don't let this make you jaded. Just chill for a while and book with someone else. And if the lady you fell for starts missing your money, tell her too damn bad she shouldn't have gotten "mad" and your time money is going else where now. Don't be lulled back in.
Stay positive and have a damn good time when you jump back in the water!
Steph xoxo
-- Modified on 8/21/2014 5:11:12 PM
For those that are prone to get attached - if you regularly change providers you don't fall into your own trap...
Jeez: you are not here to find your next girlfriend or wife. What of that is not clear to you?
She was gentle compared to what she could have done to you.
It's not like I went into it wanting to fall in love (infatuation) with her, it just happened.
I would keep on moving, but there are very few providers who I find as attractive as her.
She is very thin and totally flat chested, I have yet to see an ad for a provider who's physique I find as appealing as hers.
Of course that's not an altogether bad thing in P4P....but seriously dude...no shortage of thin gals with 32A measurements.
And here I thought you were falling for her because she actually engaged you somehow LOL
I would keep on moving, but there are very few providers who I find as attractive as her.
She is very thin and totally flat chested, I have yet to see an ad for a provider who's physique I find as appealing as hers.
A week isn't "love". You are infatuated. I modified my first response, so it's sitting in queue right now. Please read when it's finally up!
xoxo,
Steph
But as I suggest to my gal pals who have johns like you....
Make sure that you can deposit into an irrevocable trust (stand-by letters of credit work too) enough (and I like to suggest a minimum of $ 1M) to pay her to live comfortably once you get tired of fucking her.
If you're prepared to do all that...I think she'll gladly be "your dream girl" LOL
Or better yet...just find another one to fuck and move along. This is P4P...they don't love you...maybe don't even like you. You pay them to suck your cock...they pretend to enjoy it...and if you're not totally disgusting she'll even see you again (and to quantify 'not too disgusting'....you'd have to be a pathetic soul for her not to see you again).
I can pretty much guarantee she is fucking some other johns tonight...and likely doesn't remember your name. That's just the nature of this game....learn how to play and all will be well.
If you're looking for some soul mate...try match or eharmony. But be wary of the hookers that run their ads on there as well.
Last week I met a girl, and the moment I walked in the door I said "Wow". This girl is sexy, smart, funny, sassy, and overall just enthralling to be with. We have an amazing session together, have a great conversation together, and afterwards we decide to grab a bite to eat. "OTC time? Gee this girl must really like me!"
Before saying goodbye to her for the night, I told her "Wow, you sure know how to provide a girlfriend experience!" to which she replied "What do you mean? This is how I really am". Which only cemented the idea in my head that she actually wanted to date me and wasn't just pretending (wrong). That, on top of me reading about providers dating hobbyists really pushed me over the edge.
I end up falling head over heels with this girl and book three more sessions, the first two are amazing (all longer than the hour that I paid for), but the third one was actually kind of bad because she finally gets that I "like" like her. She gets mad at me and insists that I don't know her, that she's just pretending, and when I asked her why she told me she wasn't faking she says "I'm not faking because I'm a real person, I'm never fake". I still don't know what that means, but I'm sitting here legitimately heartbroken because this girl is my dream girl.
I think I'm going to take a break from the hobby for a while.
No, you are a sadist who gets off on the notion of paying a lady for her time.
Last week I met a girl, and the moment I walked in the door I said "Wow". This girl is sexy, smart, funny, sassy, and overall just enthralling to be with. We have an amazing session together, have a great conversation together, and afterwards we decide to grab a bite to eat. "OTC time? Gee this girl must really like me!"
Before saying goodbye to her for the night, I told her "Wow, you sure know how to provide a girlfriend experience!" to which she replied "What do you mean? This is how I really am". Which only cemented the idea in my head that she actually wanted to date me and wasn't just pretending (wrong). That, on top of me reading about providers dating hobbyists really pushed me over the edge.
I end up falling head over heels with this girl and book three more sessions, the first two are amazing (all longer than the hour that I paid for), but the third one was actually kind of bad because she finally gets that I "like" like her. She gets mad at me and insists that I don't know her, that she's just pretending, and when I asked her why she told me she wasn't faking she says "I'm not faking because I'm a real person, I'm never fake". I still don't know what that means, but I'm sitting here legitimately heartbroken because this girl is my dream girl.
I think I'm going to take a break from the hobby for a while.
-- Modified on 8/21/2014 8:08:44 PM
First, DO listen to Mr. Fisher. Reread his post a couple times.
Okay, now, you find you love this woman. Under the circumstances, everybody is telling you this is tragic and/or foolish. So, just to be different, let's say your love for her is a beautiful gift and something you don't want to rid yourself of.
What does the love you feel imply? In your mundane life, love implies that you have found your one and only soulmate and the only direction that love can go is a lifetime commitment to always be together, and a desire to have children so that both your spirits will live on through them. Sorry, I get a tad poetic at times. Been meaning to get that fixed.
Does that have to be the only outcome of loving someone? Since every connection we make differs in its nature and circumstance, love can take you anywhere, and you SHOULDN'T have to guide it into a narrowly defined traditional conclusion.
When you booked with her, you might have simply been looking for the sensation of an ejaculation or two while giving your wrist a rest at the same time, but I'll bet you were also hoping for an emotional rush. If I'm right, you got one.
You met another human being, a stranger, going through life on a completely different path. You shared a very intimate encounter, opened yourselves to one another and experienced the life energy as it manifested itself in each of you. You found her beautiful, and you liked her. That's not only "acceptable" it's beautiful.
So if you love her that's how it is. A wonderful feeling to bathe in. You know you are not the only person she will love, and you also know she is not the only person you will love, but you can still enjoy it. You can sing its wonder! Writing this OP and sharing your feelings with all of us is one way that you are singing its wonder.
Above I said you SHOULDN'T have to guide where it goes, but we both know unrequited love can carry a person into some murky waters, and usually we end up splashing around way up past our hearts before we have time to learn to swim. So, in this case, there are actions your love my prompt you toward which you will need to avoid. You know what those are, and I'm sure you'll behave yourself.
Aside from doing anything stupid, enjoy this love for what it is. You found a wonderful treasure. You will have to let go of it, of course, but isn't that always the way sooner or later? Enjoy it while it lasts and let it strengthen you in whatever way it will. Enjoy the sweetness of the pain and bitter longing. Enjoy idle moments yet to come of needing to sit in the dark where you can pine and sigh. These feelings you have are the feelings you were seeking.
and do not scare her off - why not indulge in her company and in the pleasures of the relationship, even though it is conditioned by the P4P dynamic?
But providers and sugar babies and gold diggers in general are justly leery of guys who cross boundaries....
a lot of guys wind up finding themselves "in love" with younger women whose attraction to the gent has more to do with his standing in life and ability to provide an income or lifestyle than with really truly in the core of their being wanting to be with someone 30 or more years older... though there do seem to be a lot of girls with "daddy issues".....
this could be a simpler cleaner version of adopting some younger girl and putting her through college etc in exchange for poonie.... or going the sugarbaby route
it's all good - as long as you go into it with your eyes open and know what your needs and limits are....
One of the things we're talking about, and which can't be avoided in the life, is the many kinds of love. The young girl who loves an older, well-established man based on his ability to provide and protect DOES feel and react in a LOVING way. It isn't the traditional definition of love, but in terms of the private language definition of A way of loving, it has as much integrity as any other kind of love. There's kind of a Nash equilibrium at play. Each party making decisions based on their own survival strategies.
Personally, I would avoid this type of thing only to the extent that I would not bring it into my mundane life. At all. And, of course, I doubt if any woman sees me as a desirable candidate for sugar daddy or the like. I think I'm viewed more as a Willie Garvin than a Daddy Warbucks. Lol
But providers and sugar babies and gold diggers in general are justly leery of guys who cross boundaries....
a lot of guys wind up finding themselves "in love" with younger women whose attraction to the gent has more to do with his standing in life and ability to provide an income or lifestyle than with really truly in the core of their being wanting to be with someone 30 or more years older... though there do seem to be a lot of girls with "daddy issues".....
this could be a simpler cleaner version of adopting some younger girl and putting her through college etc in exchange for poonie.... or going the sugarbaby route
it's all good - as long as you go into it with your eyes open and know what your needs and limits are....
BYW, Markus, this relates (sort of) to the talk about the entitled generation. There was a time, in recent memory, when people concerned themselves with what they did--one's actions were important and subject to scrutiny--and how they felt or how they thought about what went down was just part of the scrutinizing process. In recent years, I've noticed people spending time and energy dealing more with how they FEEL, and maybe concerning themselves less with whether or not they DO anything of significance.
It seems if people worried less about feeling the correct feelings, and more time on just enjoying the feelings that arise from what they do and experience, that they'd be a lot happier.
But apparently not. Too many people concern themselves with trying to feel something that life hasn't evoked in them, and in fearing and trying to avoid those feelings that DO arise from the life they're living.
I know as well as anyone that we're on the verge of becoming extinct, but are people really going this crazy?
appreciating it, not over-thinking it, and not demanding some sort of emotion from it....
good analysis....
People have struggled with the meaning of love since we started walking upright, and we sure ain't gonna define it here. But, I kind of like the way John Stewart (not to be confused with Jon) wrote it years ago in an under-appreciated little ditty.
While a caution would def. be not to go looking for love in P4P and to be very very suspect if you think it has found you, if somehow you think it's found you, maybe these words can help you distinguish what it is you are really experiencing (hint: the head over heels thing even IRL is meant to describe infatuation or lust, and only the fairly tales tell us that sort of thing is love - love ain't built that way and neither is P$P
best off not even letting the L word enter your thoughts with anyone unless there's also friendship, laughter and rage, and you've crossed all those rivers together - and that just doesn't happen 2 hours at a time
Some kind of love is like gold
And that is the hardest to hold
For it catches the eye
Of each thief passing by
Some kind of love is like gold
Some kind of love comes too soon
That kind of love heals your wounds
When your wounds are all healed
And you're back on your wheels
You say that kind of love came too soon
Some kind of love, some kind of love
Everyone's looking for some kind of love
Some kind of love starts as friends
That kind of love never ends
For it comes on as slow
As a flower in snow
Some kind of love starts as friends
Some kind of love tears your heart
When you knew it was wrong from the start
Try to explain
A moth to a flame
Some kind of love tears your heart
Some kind of love, some kind of love
Everyone's looking for some kind of love
Some kind of love never dies
That is the hardest to find
Through laughter and rage
It mellows with age
Some kind of love never dies
Some kind of love, some kind of love
Everyone's looking for some kind of love
-- Modified on 8/22/2014 3:21:32 AM
i didnt want to mention it on ter
after all its just chemicals in our brains right ?
when shit hits the fan will she still be there for us ?
-- Modified on 8/21/2014 11:28:17 PM
You simply met someone who is very good at what she does. The line between fantasy and reality is easily blurred with such women. Read her reviews. She likely evokes the same or similar responses in many of her clients. This quality of provider is hard to find. It hurts a little now, but you'll soon understand that she did you a favor. She gave you the fantasy of a lifetime and you learned that it is just that, a fantasy. If a provider wants to see you outside of the hobby you won't have to guess about it. She'll let you know without ambiguity.
with a client crosses the line. it ADDS to the inevitable delusion of the hobbyist. Why make it MORE complicated?
I'm not convinced all OTC time crosses the line, but I agree that it can make distinguishing fantasy from reality more difficult. A lot may depend on what happens between the two and that can be extremely variable
I think you were simply letting your imagination blur her real intentions for you. Glad you got lots of good advice here before you found yourself with more than just a "broken heart".
Last week I met a girl, and the moment I walked in the door I said "Wow". This girl is sexy, smart, funny, sassy, and overall just enthralling to be with. We have an amazing session together, have a great conversation together, and afterwards we decide to grab a bite to eat. "OTC time? Gee this girl must really like me!"
Before saying goodbye to her for the night, I told her "Wow, you sure know how to provide a girlfriend experience!" to which she replied "What do you mean? This is how I really am". Which only cemented the idea in my head that she actually wanted to date me and wasn't just pretending (wrong). That, on top of me reading about providers dating hobbyists really pushed me over the edge.
I end up falling head over heels with this girl and book three more sessions, the first two are amazing (all longer than the hour that I paid for), but the third one was actually kind of bad because she finally gets that I "like" like her. She gets mad at me and insists that I don't know her, that she's just pretending, and when I asked her why she told me she wasn't faking she says "I'm not faking because I'm a real person, I'm never fake". I still don't know what that means, but I'm sitting here legitimately heartbroken because this girl is my dream girl.
I think I'm going to take a break from the hobby for a while.
That some women could and probably have stopped being as nice and have scaled back their GFE because of guys like this. This isn't fair to those of us that recognize and don't cross the imaginary, yet indelible line. So guys that do this not only fuck it up for themselves, but for the rest of us too. I like quite a few of the providers I've seen, and that's a good thing, but I recognize that the only reason that I'm able to meet them and spend quality time with them is because of the arrangement. It's really a simple and beautiful arrangement, I can't figure out why some guys want to fuck it up. Don't fix what ain't broke.
approaching this realm like you'd approach any form of entertainment. When you go to Disney, you ride those amazing rides, but you certainly wouldn't take a roller coaster to run errands around your town. You wouldn't go to a theme park expecting to. You feel the amazing ups and downs of the ride, and you know when you get off, that's that. You can come back and do it again as many times as you like, but a roller coaster on a road outside the theme park will never give you that same thrill. If you tried taking it out of the theme park, you'd be really disappointed with its performance and would probably blame the roller coaster for being defective. It's not the roller coaster's fault- it's yours for expecting it to suddenly turn into a sedan.
As others have said- just enjoy this little world for what it is. Savor it; revel in it. Splash around and have a grand time, and know when you've left the park, all that wonder and joy and pleasure will be right there waiting for you the next time you're ready to play. Take with you only the memories and the delicious afterglow to savor in quiet moments alone. Some things are meant to be enjoyed purely and exclusively in their own context.