Usually I'll bounce on a fool, once they've acted up. That's just how I roll.
I'm talking, in public. You know the type of woman, who is opinionated, and has a big personality. Usually starting some disturbance in public, with someone who is minding their own business. I can't metaphorically slap the dame, it's not my place. Should the man in her life, convey the message that she is misbehaving, and causing a spectacle?
...like your board persona, you would routinely make a spectacle of yourself in public.
We are quite the spectacle, if that offends you?.. that's on you.
Haven't you ever experienced or witnessed what I mentioned?
... if someone has to say something to the woman, it's disrespectful to the man. Especially coming from another man. (misandrystic behavior)
I believe when people act that way, it shows contempt for the individual they are with. They want the other person to engage, with the outsider who is not in the relationship. They get to belittle their mate, along with the added benefit of being rescued by their mate, if the situation escalates. Along with the shared instant gratification of using the pawn as they see fit in their public display of dysfunction.
I do understand, however. Women with big personalities starting disturbances in public when I'm just minding my own business are seriously misbehaving. They should be chastised. By people like you. Thanks for bringing up this important and relevant topic.
Especially women in the company of their large, short tempered, violent husbands or BF's, preferably "biker bitches" in the company of their entire club.
I think he should make an example of these women and go up and slap them right across the face to make his point, the consequences be damned. lol
For some it works, for some it don't.
... if a woman is acting like a child she should be informed.
that human intelligence is likely normally distributed on a bell curve, but to actually interact with the individual representing the leftmost data point, now that is really something. I am honored and in your debt sir. Of course by definition you will understand none of this, but take heart, many will!
I can read English.
I'll bet your parents had rotator cuff problems from slapping you around so much.
I wasn't given enough discipline, I'm talking psychologically, remember I was raised a bastard.
Pops tried later in life, problem was he never earned the respect, for their to be any merit behind his actions.
It seems far more 'men' are being physically/verbally/psychologically abused by their SO than the National Organization of Women would lead us to believe.
Our culture as well as its civilian police force historically turns a blind eye to women's violence against men. It ain't right; but it DOES none the less!
Why do you think the phrase "Yes dear" is so regularly uttered by males?
if you want to embarrass yourself by acting like a misogynistic ninny.
A real man fucks his girlfriend when she steps out of line.
What if the check out girl, is worth checking-out? Should we make it a three way? where should I put my cum? Paper or plastic? clean up on isle 69!
Yoo mite can reed engrish butt yoo can't spel four shite.
Maybe we went to Greece, we were discussing ass-holes.
If the woman is an adult, she should control herself. We're all big boys and big girls, we should all act like it. Women like the one you describe will push others away until they hopefully realize it's their attitude that is doing it. I have a good friend who has a wife like you describe, after being around her 3 times I stopped hanging out with my friend when I knew she was going to be around. A few times she's shown up unexpected (unexpected to me anyway) and I gracefully left in a very short period of time. Life is too short to spend it in the company of people like that, I have much better things to do with my time.
But should I think that my friend should control her, Hell no. She should act like an adult and control herself. I have no idea how the guy lives with her, I can't stand much more than 5 minutes around her, and I don't.
Besides, in my opinion, there is nothing more unattractive than a kept woman. Some men like that, I find independent women that think for themselves attractive. One of the guys that works for me, his wife calls him about just about everything. He told me one day, his words, if she were to run out of toilet paper she might call him to ask if she should go buy some. That was of course an exaggeration but not by much.
Can't go crazy?
Yes I was talking about the habitual offender hear.
What if an un-kept, usually respectful woman steps out of line. Do you do nothing?
Over all I agree
Use Melissa's saying
It's not my monkey
It's not my circus
It's not my business
Damn, I love that!
Deosn't matter if she's normally sane or not. If I don't like the way someone is acting, I leave. No need for me to get my blood pressure up because someone else can't act right.
If there is one thing I've learned in this life of mine, it's to have my own transportation, or means to transportation.
What if you find yourself in a disabled elevator.
Did you forget the scouts motto? Always be prepared!
It's not my monkey
It's not my circus
It's not my business
Damn, I love that!
Yes, that saying is lovely.
Deosn't matter if she's normally sane or not. If I don't like the way someone is acting, I leave. No need for me to get my blood pressure up because someone else can't act right.
If there is one thing I've learned in this life of mine, it's to have my own transportation, or means to transportation.
I'll bring the popcorn...
A better question would be "Can men control their chattel?"
Not since they started letting them vote.... own property have civil rights and all that post medieval stuff... We could have stopped that nonsense when they started prating on about inalienable rights and such nonsense. Any gentleman of the time could see where that might end.
Ah... the good old roman days when a man was paterfamilias and had the power of life and death.... then if she misbehaved, you could have her flogged.... but even then, some how they still managed to cause issues. And whom amongst us wouldn't want a barbarian slave girl or two without this sugar daddy nonsense.... Progress has its downsides...
On a semi-serious note - my personal experience is that if my wife decides she wants to cause issues with someone else - I won't interfere; life is just too f*cking short..... and I really could care less about whether she is offending someone else or just making a fool out of herself... Not my problem.
Sorry guys..
Growing up, some of my friends had Italian mothers, and Grand mamas.
But, yes, I know the situation you're talking about (even though I have always led a very genteel and soft life far removed from the rough jungle I suspect most of you deal with), especially if the woman had been drinking, has been done an injustice and is irate about it, or, in general, facing a situation too demanding for how she's dressed.
Each situation is different and either you take the role of her protector or you back away. Knowing when to do what can't be thought. Saying it depends solely on your relationship means nothing.
If what you're concerned with is your own safety, you're already blowing it. GaG brought up the biker crowd scenario, and there's no way you're going to be "safe" in such a situation. But, you won't be the first man to get his ass kicked for trying to control a situation where a woman is reacting to something difficult, and you won't be the last.
Maybe this will help. If "she" (of he, this isn't really restricted to your date) is "acting inappropriately," ask yourself very quickly, what WOULD be the APPROPRIATE way to react. If you can't think of anything immediately, back her up, try to get her to a safer place, calm her down, or--mangina jokes be damned--step up and defend her.
If she is threatening someone, interfere with any attempt to escalate the altercation.
NEVER show shame of being with whom you've decided to be with. TRY not to show impatience.
There's no foolproof primer for this, no ultimate answer. But you're with her, she's your friend, part of your tribe, and if you don't know how to relate to that, ain't no tongue can teach ya.
I also don't go out of my way to put my self in such situations, but they sometimes happen
Let alone have the luxury of the thinking time to plan how to react.
One thing I found works for me sometimes is to pitch myself into the same dynamics as she's in. If she's getting hyper and starts pacing angrily back and forth, I pace along with her at the same speed and intensity. If she drops to the floor crying, I flop down on the floor with her and talk it out down there. People are going to think we're crazy no matter what we do, but if I can stay with her, in her dynamics, eventually I can slow the intensity down and she'll be more likely than not to feel safe in following me to...the car maybe? A table? You know what I mean. I hope.
Opinionated and big personality I can deal with, as long as she is polite.
I would never put up with a loud mouth starting disturbances in public.
I'd be gone in a New York minute.
If I don't like the scene or company surrounding me, I leave.
That's all the control I need.
If I don't like the scene or company surrounding me, I leave. That's all the control I need.
It really is just as simple as that.
How does that play out when you next want to connect with her?
If she's an asshole once, I'll simply choose someone else. Why on earth would I take the chance she'll be an asshole another time, when there are so many beautiful, sexy, interesting women to choose from. If she's an asshole, she's lost a whole lot of her beauty and sexiness.
Usually I'll bounce on a fool, once they've acted up. That's just how I roll.
who is with anyone who is misbehaving in public needs to set some boundaries. Be with a woman, a man or a child
Not holding it down and embarrassing you?
Going through a traumatic event and breaking down?
Initiating a confrontation with staff or strangers?
Not that the general principles of how you regard the situation duffer that much.
I really don't think that just leaving someone in trouble and going your own way is a good idea. Not just the woman with you, but friends, coworkers, whoever. If she got drunk would you take her key? Or would you be drunk too and just worried about how you're going to get yourself home? I've seen that kind of thing. We, onlookers, usually talk about it afterwards and we don't all feel the same way about it.
The OP specifically asked about controlling the type of woman who starts a disturbance in public with someone who minds their own business .
I would never try to appease a woman who starts a ruckus with someone minding their own business.
I would leave her at the curb with cab fare.
Some guys beg and plead with insanity. I don't .
In my opinion, Life's too short to put up with that kind of nonsense.
He didn't ask about women in trouble or suffering grief, who need a helping hand.
That's an entirely different topic. I wouldn't leave her when she's in despair.
I would rather die than beg and plead for a crazy woman to act sane.
If she's drunk I'm taking her keys and driving her home , that's also another topic.
Are you always so confused when answering simple questions ?
If so, I see why you are accustomed to groveling .
Going through a traumatic event and breaking down?
Initiating a confrontation with staff or strangers?
Not that the general principles of how you regard the situation duffer that much.
I really don't think that just leaving someone in trouble and going your own way is a good idea. Not just the woman with you, but friends, coworkers, whoever. If she got drunk would you take her key? Or would you be drunk too and just worried about how you're going to get yourself home? I've seen that kind of thing. We, onlookers, usually talk about it afterwards and we don't all feel the same way about it.
Sometimes the man she's with appears too embarrassed to do anything, and I've had to step in and calm her down. I don't recall ever groveling. Sometimes what seems to be belligerence turns out to be a very real concern. The tone you take with me suggests that you yourself are the type of "big personality" who yells at valets and belittled the waiter serving you your dinner. I hope I never have to deal with you in a restaurant or club. But if I do, I don't foresee myself grove lung with the crazy guy to get him to hold it down a bit.
I have NEVER yelled at a Valet, a server or someone in customer service .
The lower a person is on the Totem pole the better I treat them . I have enough self confidence in myself I have no need to chastise servers. 90% of the time bad service isn't their fault.
I won't stoop to yell at a GF who goes off the deep end in public for no valid reason , I will merely answer her nonsense by leaving with unemotional detachment.
If she's cranky and irrational from hunger I'll get her something to eat.
If my service is bad I still leave a tip though not the customary 25% + or 50% at the Greasy spoon.
I was only attempting to persuade you to stick to answering the questions without twisting the scenario to one of your own choosing.
I mighty be mistaken , from your replies you seem like a groveler to me.
If doubt you butt in on couples very often, trying to calm down a deranged woman, or you wouldn't be able to type.
... it's your GF.
Are you the man responsible for her actions in public, when you are accompanying her?
So i fracture your larynx and you suffocate to death...not really even breaking a sweat. And then go have an awesome sushi dinner.