As much as the dating websites have progressed over the years, and with so many people on them truly looking for love, when that time has come for me to find something a little more stable and meaningful, I would weigh that option. A few years ago, I have met some good non sexual friends from dating sites. I have also paid money for a dating service to "match" me where I would go out on actual dates with my "match" and report back on how it went, and while that experience was horrible, I would probably do it again. I guess I would be open to meeting that "special one" where ever I meet him; online, grocery store, swing party, etc. LOL! As long as we are in the relationship for the same goals and are both content, who's to say the relationship is not genuine and would not last?
Guys, if you ran across a provider on a "dating/ hook up" site, would you still see her for free and keep her secret or, if you didn't know, would you want her to eventually tell you
You are on that site for a purpose and obviously, you two are enjoying each other's company. Whatever information you have decided to keep or share is up to each person. Why wreck the whole thing?
I wouldn't comment on it at all nor would I consider booking her. Different sites with different objectives
If I met a woman on a "hook up" site, I would not expect a LTR to develop. Well, that's relative, isn't it. Having "relationships" that, as close friends, go back to the 60's & 70's, LTR might mean something different to me. But it's hard to imagine having met a woman through a hook up service and remaining in touch for decades.
A DATING site might be different. Assuming that the purpose of the site is to steer people toward suitable partners with some common interest, economic strata, etc., I'd expect to have some degree of honesty with the person.
Everyone has secrets, and everyone tries to present themselves as an attractive prospect. I expect a woman wouldn't blurt out on the initial contact or first date, "I'm a high-class call girl, what kind of work are you in?"
If she eventually shared her "secret," I also assume that it would only happen when we had establish some basis for WANTING an ongoing relationship. So, how I would respond depends on too many other factors to confidently predict. I'd like to think that it wouldn't matter, but in ANY serious relationship, almost EVERYTHING matters.
For a lot of people (most?) our sex lives are private, but not really secret. Whereas, for a lot of us (most?), our careers are public knowledge. Few of the people in my life hide their careers from others, women in the life being an exception.
I would respect her trust and keep such a disclosure between the two of us.
One recent incident puts a different slant on this question. When a friend approaches me and says, "I'm going to tell you something, but I want it to stay between the two of us," I automatically respond with, "I don't want to hear it." For me, personally, I consider such a precondition as unacceptable. It's a very unfriendly and aggressive act to foist a disclosure on someone and charge them with the task of safeguarding it.
So, yes, at some point of intimacy, I would want to know what I'm getting into, but no, please don't feel it necessary to burden me with such historical details about yourself just because we've decided to have some fun.
OTOH, if you want me to leave an envelope on the nightstand, tell me in time to stop at the bank.
Dear Sexy Jaye:
Just wondering when you are on the date and you become intimate with him imagine the questions regarding your sexual abilities and proficiencies. Also he would begin to inquire inordinately about your immense experience in this field. At this point, would you begin to become suspicious about the sequence of following questions and if he would arrive at that magic occupation? Although you could probably tell him that you had an internship out west several years ago when you were in undergrad, but you decided not to take the job. Or you could tell him that you have always had an extremely hedonistic personality with an immense predilection for the libidinal arts. That will really get him thinking as well. Finally however you put it, he is going so Hmm in a good was and in an inquisitive way. Just hope his inquiry does lead him to do further investigations of you.
I am handicapped in the "dating" aspect. I am intimate/ sexual way before I am interested in "dating" someone so the questions about experience and things happen first. You can't hide or dumb down how well you know your way around a cock and once you have rocked his world which leaves him to wonder. I find true "dating" way too revealing and I often get choked up with someone really wanting to know the REAL me. When that happens I usually bail on the whole thing and just get something superficial with the next one. Don't worry I am in therapy for this, she gets paid to help me figure out my shit. LOL!
Everyone worries about exposing their lives to others and then being rejected. I know that's why I mask some aspects of myself. Probably many of these board personas are about that, too. Pretty common stuff, that. But there's also this annoying thing that if someone gets to know me, and likes me, eventually there would be a demand for fidelity, and the whole menagerie of sexual partners would scamper out of my life. No more new faces, no more gorgeous bodies--that scares me. Anything like that going on with you?
The real life story isn't as great as the fantasy... Defense mechanism, YES. Do I do this a lot, YES. But part of the solution is realizing the problem. HA! So I do open myself up to some. And at the end of the day, I am a bonafide commitment phobe, I realize I want to commit eventually, but will I be fully monogamous to one person ever? I don't think so. A traditional relationship with monogamy may not work for me. I have had an "open" relationship, which worked for a while, but it is much harder to maintain. Besides, I get the nature of men, and I don't expect one man to sexually be content with one pussy forever and ever. It's about as real as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. If he can get some variety then why can't I?
You each could sleep around as much as you want, but you had to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together until death do you part--could you agree to that?
Granted, that would be cumbersome in today's world. But maybe there's some other aspect of life besides sex that two people could share faithfully only with each other. Just thinking on the keys, here. Can't imagine what that something could be. Can you?
It would mean she trusts me and respects me, but I get it isn't first date material. If I know she provided and after we started to become a real couple she still wasn't forthcoming I would approach her. I am married to a sex worker so the job isn't a deal breaker but if she doesn't trust me with her life, that is. If you like the guy sooner or later both has to be open and honest with who you are. How one makes a living is part of who you are.
That is what I'd assume. And I'd probably pass unless I wanted to book her. This goes triple if she uses the same pics for both sites.
And how would I know she was a provider? Unless I had seen her in person before, I wouldn't assume she was the same person, unless she had a very distinctive look. And even then . . . lots of people look similar to other people. Speaking hypothetically, I would probably still go out with her if she were my type. I'm not sure how I would feel about as things progressed.
I know what's coming next: "But they have the same phone number.' or "Same email" or similar.
Hay, I can dream, can't I
SD/SB deals less that P4P. I'd be cautious about getting too deeply invested emotionally or financially before the other foot drops. Now it might be possible for Escorts to look for love & possibly an exit strategy from the business... Still you'll not know. It's hard to be guarded & still open to relationships IF YOU ARE AVAILABLE.
All providers are women/ sisters/ daughters/ mothers FIRST! I highly doubt any woman is going to provide or really want to provide forever. So, before you assume a woman that provides is on dating site just to suck more money out of men is in my opinion, wrong! I am sorry that you think we (providers) are that screwed up that we don't want or are incapable of real and true loving relationships. Having a BF/ GF is hardly an exit strategy, most providers have a BF/ GF while in the business. Whether we (providers) are on P411 or EHarmony, just check out and consider who the lady is first and respect her no matter what, that is a better approach. Always being guarded, you can miss out on so much, instead just go with the flow, you might have fun or a really interesting story to tell!
-- Modified on 7/4/2014 10:45:12 PM
Assuming your reason for going through the dating site routine was more than casting for a sugar daddy, do you truly believe this is the right path to seeking a genuine relationship? I mean, given the circumstances? I don't know what other avenues are open to you, but you must have experienced people in a lot of circles to give you several alternatives.
As much as the dating websites have progressed over the years, and with so many people on them truly looking for love, when that time has come for me to find something a little more stable and meaningful, I would weigh that option. A few years ago, I have met some good non sexual friends from dating sites. I have also paid money for a dating service to "match" me where I would go out on actual dates with my "match" and report back on how it went, and while that experience was horrible, I would probably do it again. I guess I would be open to meeting that "special one" where ever I meet him; online, grocery store, swing party, etc. LOL! As long as we are in the relationship for the same goals and are both content, who's to say the relationship is not genuine and would not last?
If you are boat happy with each other today, you're likely to be happy tomorrow.
Several times. Always kept the secrets in confidence. I even contacted 2, they were using the site to get business. Not saying all do, just the 2 I contacted. Still kept the secret.
Never got more than a few winks and initial email contacts that never worked out. If it had been a P4P provider then they never went through with it far enough to even try to get together, so I'd say it was lousy advertising. I think most of those sites are nothing more than money pits. If I'm gonna spend cash, I'm going to find a provider honest enough to advertise as a provider and actually provide. The games played on those sites are stupid and frustrating.
Was on them for almost a year before giving up. That was a few years back.
It is uncivilized to talk about others. I consider it was worst rudeness one can do to another.
On your second, I will see her why not? If she tells me then I would probably ask her out and if she didn’t tell me I will keep mouth shut
No matter how you meet, I think a relationship that reaches a certain point in terms of commitment and expectations demands honesty and disclosure. It's about respecting your partner. Keep in mind, this could be asked in the reverse... what if you knew a guy you met on a dating website was a hobbyist? What would YOU want?
coming from the gentlemen of this world spewing the word 'commitment'. Come on. Men can NEVER be monogamous, so there's your answer. There's no 'commitment or expectation demands' involved anywhere in this world or any world for that matter. That's BS on a stick. Men fuck, that's what they do. There's nothing emotionally involved. Period.
Maybe I'll buy that bridge PIMPMasterG4000 is selling LOL. Good lord.
-- Modified on 7/5/2014 1:52:03 PM
by going deeper. "Men can NEVER be monogamous?" LMAO. I can't. GaG can't. Lots of us can't. But.....wait for it....we're on a hooker board! But do we represent all men? Not a chance. This just proves you have a slanted and ignorant view of men. I have several friends who are in very long term marriages and are totally monogamous. A;ways have been. And there's no chance they'll change. They are very happy. That's not me by a long shot, but that's the difference between us. You think you know everything. I know I don't. Even so, I know so much more than you it's just ludicrous. And, Minnie, you will never, ever understand. Please stop trying. You will hurt your little brain.