But a good fuckin with some nice hot chemistry is fine with me! Lol
Anyone ever fallen in love in a serious way with their hobbyist or provider?
I had cocktails last night with a provider (and btw I am a provider myself) and we were chatting about the fact that she's currently in that situation head over heels in love with her hobbyist! Right now It's tearing her up inside/ heart sick because he's married (he says not happily married though) however they only can get together when he's not with family or not up to his eyeballs in his career, and he's out of state from her locale, so she can only see him when she's not doing her regular gigs or he's free. I told her I had been in love only once out here, too, but many years ago, and shared my own experiences. My tale didn't resonate with her cuz my situation was totally different back then (ie., we were both married at that time so it was an affair -- though now I am gratefully divorced thank the good Lord) and she's single never been married. Anyone have any love perspectives in the hobby?
Lee C
When I was very young I tried that 'date a married man' thing. Never again. Your heart is a constant black hole, wishing and hoping hopelessly, and it's physically painful the entire time.
No thanks.
Here's a starter kit. Practice, practice, practice 
And I hope it never happens.(in or outside of the job.) Being in love with someone who is committed to someone else sucks. Naturally, your emotions want to grow deeper with the person... Aaaaand then they go back to their wife and kids. No thanks!
But a good fuckin with some nice hot chemistry is fine with me! Lol
Sincere tank you to those of you ladies and gentlemen who took my question seriously and replied with honest answers. I am passing those legit thought on to the provider I had the cocktails with last night who finds herself seriously so in love with her hobbyist that she is now CANCELING appointments with other fellas because she's so lovestruck, it's affecting her bottom line, while she's in agony and the client she loves can't deal with it for 1,000 reasons (work, family, etc). Anyway I hear HER pain and I am trying to reach out to folks who can identify with any of her emotions!! To help her.
I asked admin to go ahead and take either the jerky inside joke posts in response to my questions down, or to just delete my whole question thread. Really, as a human being, To see that provider's face so distraught hurting last night, and then to see the pictures of ernie, burt and nursery rhyme busses which my small children would be amused by, is kind of defeating the purpose of trying to help her. I also explained to admin that those of us who used to post a lot but no longer do have a good reason why. It sucks when you really want to talk (and sure have some fun too -- but 5 photos of amateurish kiddy characters one after the other?) - Please. Send those off board. That's why I don't bother to post much anymore. Just Ads, And those will likely be sabotaged too now. Been there done that too. My skin's so tough out here anymore after a decade that I don't care but it does offend people who give a "sh%t" about whatever it is they're trying to poll the community. It's why I jumped into LSMJD's post on GD board, cuz he was new and getting hammered. What's the point?
Lee C
But a good fuckin with some nice hot chemistry is fine with me! Lol
I'd never fall in love with a married man. Too much drama and one sets oneself up for heartache and disappointment later on down the line when that man goes back to his wife and kids.
Thanks for taking this thread seriously sister. I am going to talk to the provider about this!! It's really a serious matter for her.Very. She's cancelled appointments, gotten sick I think from stress, and I told Courtney.Ova in PM that I think she's damn near suicidal cuz she says she can't live without him. She won't post cuz of anonymity.
NO YOU STAND UP COMEDIANS, THE THREADS *NOT* ABOUT ME, I am a bunny, have a bunch of BF s out here to show for it 
MY life is grand. In fact, my last review gave me an A++ for mastering the art of DT ing so deeply there wasn't anything left to DT -- for 90 minutes!! hehe. I'm taking lessons from Chanel Preston and almost ready for a DT contest with her
Don't worry fellas, I have my priorities in the right place. Probably won't post again though. I get enough sh%t from my ex SO, I don't need it from the comics here.
Lee C
It is too bad that your son's biological father took off, but it does NOT mean all men are like that. There are plenty of men out there that take responsibility for their own actions.
But a good fuckin with some nice hot chemistry is fine with me! Lol
I dated a married man for nearly 3 years and had a child by him. He went back to his wife and denied that he was the father...but he signs away his parental rights. Real winner...um NOT. Haven't seen or heard from him in 13 years (my son is now 12).
I'd never fall in love with a married man. Too much drama and one sets oneself up for heartache and disappointment later on down the line when that man goes back to his wife and kids.
You're a cool chic, and I mean that most endearingly.
Love Stinks! Good sex and good chemistry rocks!
Love does not stink. Being in love with someone who cannot love you back does. I.e. A married man.
Now, I am not dating at all anymore while I'm in this game because of the reason the OP states. You lose money! Been ther done that, and, fuck that! I have goals I want to reach, and no man will get in the way. (I hope lol.)
I'm enjoying my job, and feel free. But I will never ever date someone who is married. My first was married, and I learned early on how very very painful it is.
Let's just keep it P4P, and some nice hot sexy times. No love please,
-- Modified on 6/28/2014 11:37:53 AM
the connections will always be there..we just have to make sure they do not become permanent..
... but let's pretend I have.
Let's pretend I have seen so many people who I could never imagine having fallen in love, no less saying 'i do'. As the op probably gets based on her own experience, the bloom often comes off the love rose pretty darn quick. Usually in 2 years or less, and 50% of the time.
This is not to be pessimistic - it's simply to say that I believe the strongest feelings people have for each other may just last a lot longer and be a lot stronger for a couple of hours every month, when all can be special and new.
Eating at your favorite restaurant everyday is way different from the treat of once a month. Go everyday and it stops being your favorite restaurant pretty quick; you start looking elsewhere.
Probably not what anyone in love wants to hear, and granted the world of the hypothetical divorce lawyer is skewed away from the many strong relationships that continue for years... I believe love exists, I believe it's real, but I am not as sure that it lasts in its original form for more than a short period of time - like until the third mastercard bill arrives.
in the end if you want an enduring relationship with strong feelings (*lustful love's* remains) for the other person, marriage is you - but if you want the intense feeling of *lustful love* to burn on, I say accept love as a shooting star, follow it for as long as you can from afar, and always leave yourself wanting more.
I am writing this out of respect for your friend who sounds like she is feeling sad and gray - that's horrible. in the words of Vince Lombardi, it' ain't how many times we get knocked down that defines us, it's how many times we get back up - true in football, life, love,and traversing the General Discussion board.
-- Modified on 6/28/2014 9:33:52 AM
Thank you my friend, it means a lot to have you say that. And if it helps,all the better.
Thank you Silver Fox. I truly appreciate your saying what you did
Really like what you wrote, especially the part about love being like a shooting star. The problem is that our language has just this one word "love" that's supposed to cover so many different experiences. The shooting stars I enjoy with my favorite providers are wonderful. But the incredible and still sexy relationship I have with my wife of 43 years is also wonderful. Both are kinds of love, but so different.
I'm being totally serious here to anyone who gets too attached and it starts to ruin them as a person.
Start watching 'Overly Attached Girlfriend' and acting like her if you find yourself unable to break the addiction to the guy. He may be nice, but if the relationship is ruining who you are as a person, you need to leave. Problem is, we break up and go back.
So, the solution is to play overly attached - pull out the crazy card, send creepy obsessive emails, tell him you worship him, dream about him, etc etc... That shit will make him run for the hills and never come back lol. If you're strong enough to leave and stay away, don't do that, but if you know you're not, just do it.
Then you can start to heal. Things can get to the point where you feel like disappearing is the only way to get rid of the pain. Not true. Moving on will make you feel so free you'll be singing Beyonce's put a ring on it song lol.
Anyway...
-- Modified on 6/28/2014 11:30:34 AM
I even married one.
But after nearly forty years of doing this, you learn how to walk the line. (Knock on wood.)
Now if you'll all excuse me I wanna practice for my appointment today --Hear This!! I've learned to work the deepest muscles in my throat getting ready for hobbyists!! Yes, I jamm bananas down my throat, holding my breath, then working techniques to breath through my nostrils, using suck muscles to salivate, with deep muscles in my throat, strengthening those muscles, & moaning all at the same time!! Hehe. Isn't that what we are all out here for really?? Read my last review in June 2014 (90 minutes of that action!!) I'm a Pro.
Yep, I have better things to do than take it from you hecklers, just like my ex-SO!! Yuck.
Lee C
There are other factors that need to be considered as well. Is this client seeing her off the clock? Is her client using her for booty calls only and no support of her or does he help her?
How are they interacting that is causing her to be in love with him? Is the guy some gorgeous looking honk that she is attracting to him physically or is there some real chemistry there between them that is making her in love with him. If she is in love with him because he's some hot looking stud, then its a lust. If she's in love with him because of their interaction outside of hobby, then they have love.
If it is lust, then forget it. If it is love, why talk her out of it. She needs to ask the guy if he is still active in the hobby. If this client is active in hobby still, then maybe she needs to walk. However, if he takes care of her financially, sees no other providers, and is in a bad marriage that may end, why tell her to walk? It is something like 50% of marriages ends up divorce. How do we know if her client is not getting a divorce or going toward that route. Is that piece of marriage certificate that important to her that she is willing to walk away from real love if the elements of love and support is there?
She needs to ask her client if he is willing to help take care of her if she is not seeing other clients, and how serious is he with her. If he's not active in the hobby, and is willing to take care of her, and may be ending his marriage, why tell her to walk
I PMd you but I don't think you can(?) see PM. Thnx.
[email protected]
Lee
Email sent to your yahoo. Check junk mail if not in inbox
Here's the thing, if a married man is seeing another woman romantically it means that he is betraying someone that he professed love to. So if he's betrayed someone he's professed love to in order to see someone he know's very little (because the first time you see eachother there aren't any real feelings), if he's done that to see you, then why would you think he wouldn't do that to you?
I broke a promise to my ex wife, by divorcing her I broke the promise of "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, till death do us part". No doubt, and I have and always will struggle with breaking such a strong promise. But, I never betrayed her. I didn't start my hobby until after the divorce, and frankly I haven't looked back. If I were on your position, being a good friend I would employ some tough love. I'd tell her, hey you knew he was married and the very fact that he's betraying his wife should speak volumes about him. Doesn't mean she shouldn't have banging hot fun with him if she doesn't posses a conscious, bit half of the problem is her. If you make her realize that she's not really the victim here, it may be easier for her to detach from this whole thing.
I feel bad for her, but not sorry for her. In the same way that I feel bad for drug addicts, but I don't feel sorry for them because they knew very well that the drug was addictive before they tried it for the first time. It's really the same concept, she knew he was married and yet allowed herself to fall for him. I suspect there are some women who fall for married guys to see if he'll leave his wife so they can wear that as some sort of a medal, "I'm so hot that I got a man to betray his wife and abandon her", well shame on the woman that thinks like that.
I'm not a Psychologist, so these things I say are my observations and opinions, I didn't charge you for them, and that's what they're worth.
I understand you people who post here many times a day, week, month, year. I will refrain from joining your GD board. I used to post a lot. I won't do that for you anymore don't worry. But I have been on TER since 2002 which is longer than 45 minutes and I thought I'd earned the right to participate on the GD board. Don't worry/ Your point is clear. For those of you who slammed me here this morning please do not ask me for PM dates. I find it unfair and wrong of you to think you can hang me out to dry on GD board and then PM for a date. Thanks.
Lee
perhaps you may want to re read my post, and others and determine who you angry with.
I did point out that it seems your friend may want to take some ownership of her situation, she fell in love with a married man, a man she evidently knew was married. It speaks volumes about him and his loyalty if he's cheating on his wife with your friend. My comment should not be misconstrued to say that I'm passing judgment on men that do this, I do not impose my integrity on others. I'm simply saying that if someone falls in love with said guy, it's partially their fault. He's betraying someone he supposedly loves to be with your friend, why then would your friend think he wouldn't betray her?
And then I went on to say I'm not a Psychologist and that my comments are observations and opinions and even described how much I think they're worth (nothing).
Please redirect your anger towards those that were not trying to be constructive with their response. You asked for opinions in your OP, I gave you mine, rather respectfully I might add.
As for being on the GD board or not, if you allow others to keep you from doing something you want to do, then you are empowering them. Speak your mind, say what you mean and mean what you say. And, if someone disagrees with you, that's OK, they are speaking their mind as well. It doesn't mean someone is saying you're wrong if they disagree with your opinion, just that they disagree with your opinion. As long as someone is respectful while disagreeing with you, then you should celebrate your differences. How boring would life be if we all felt the same way about everything?
I never said you insulted me, I actually hit reply to the last post on the board which was yours at the time, and I sent my response to everyone who happened to PM me for a date, including some people who posted, lurkers, and people who said they're too afraid to post for fear of being dragged through the mud as I was - etc.
I've been around A LONG TIME (Im hardly a newbie (haha to you who told me to go to the newbie board) with my profile that started in 2002 #10966) but just because I haven't sat here minute-after-minute on "your" board (whoever you are who thinks you need to welcome the "guests" here) doesn't mean I don't have a right to say whatever I want without being sworn at, told I'm a liar, ridiculed, heckled, and humiliated. In the old days the rules were you couldn't flame people or your posts would be deleted. After the first flames were thrown today (I mean when I was told to take my "fucking self serving bullshit" away), I requested Admin that either the flame posts be deleted or to delete the entire thread. Ok with me, delete the thread!
The same people post on this board constantly and I assure you many of us don't bother to post because we know what will happen -- we will be told that the topic isn't as stimulating as photos of ernie and burt, or that if we've been around for more than "45 minutes we'll know our topic has been beaten to death" and is oh so boring, or some otter inside joke will be launched that frankly is not funny to a Nation of Readers on a National Discussion Board. Don't worry, I'm gone. I won't be back. Save your gifts Ads yes, but GD board no. I don't find it funny here, though I sure as Hell did back in the day when it was like Saturday Night Live constantly.
I like to suck and fk so leave me alone to do what I'm out here for with my 10s in most of my reviews (huh - newbie - haha), and we'll all go about how it was before I posted today. Thanks again!!
Lee C
I have some experience with that. If the woman deep down really doesn't want to commit herself, a married guy is safer, because he's probably going to go back to his spouse.
OTOH, if a man or woman with a few years behind them is unmarried when you meet them, doesn't your first impression tell you that obviously nobody wants them?
But now I'd call them smart.
I heard a line in a movie once that struck a chord with me, "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong reasons"
We have our hands full picking our bourbon.
Isn't it something of a survival ploy, conscious or unconscious?
For me, personally, I can't remember a time when I haven't been in love. It's like there's this need to hope that loneliness can be quelled "someday," and even if the object of my love might change week to week, there's always the most recent, or the most beautiful, of the woman from the past who I fix on. If only I could make a go of it with so and so and so...
And when most of the women I get to know intimately are providers, some of them end up in my heart's crosshairs.
This works pretty well, actually, because these loves are impossible yet intensely dramatic. I'm not talking about stalking or crap like that, just fixing on a particular woman. Because of the impossibility, I can rest assured that it will never reach a stage of fruition where it'll interfere with either the P4P or new relationships on the sunny side.
So of course your friend's object of her love will be married, and a client who might take his business elsewhere. She probably feels comfortable that there's no threat to her career OR to the possibility of finding someone even more exciting.
The predictability takes nothing away from the warm to hot feelings she's got to deal with. But of course, here on the board, her yearnings will be ridiculed and laughed off as foolish. But, if it wasn't her married client, she'd be in love with someone else, probably.
Like I said, I've always been in love with someone ("always" for all intents and purposes), and I doubt if my case is in any way remarkable.
Arguably because unless the parties are comatose, all relationships have countless moments of drama and impossibility. It's all about the tipping point; how much can the partners stand before screaming uncle.
The cultural norm on tipping points in relationships seems to have changed since the previous generation... at least in terms of people moving on -- perhaps because it's easier in cyberland to find someone else these days (vanilla or p4p) and disengage from the drama/impossibility
It’s simple economy imo. Women actually able to support themselves (and kids if needed) nowadays just fine, a few generations ago that was not an option
I think this makes all the sense in the world.... just another way the man (ok, pun intended) kept everyone down
Usually it's a guy falling in love with a lady, and 99.9% of the time, it is unrequited love, which causes a problem. When the feeling is mutual, the majority of the time it will end in disaster, due to the lack of trust going into the relationship. It does work sometimes, but it's rare. But none of that matters, because people will continue going down that path again and again. The heart wants what the heart wants, and once the emotion is there, it takes an extremely strong person not to pursue it.
I want to thank the good people for the responses to this question I posed saturday. My provider friend and I read all the responses in PM and in my email from you guys and gals, which I showed her. We talked a lot of things through and she's agreed to go into an in-patient depression clinic, she's arranging tomorrow, cuz she admitted she is depressed like addiction. Please let's have no more laughs at her heart's expense. Thanks for listening and sharing. This was a serious thread. Thanks to you all who reached her through me. (Haters, it's not me, cuz I'm working many days in July! Trust me on that, I've got BIG plans out here in July to rock the world! )
Lee
I hate to see a story end without knowing how it really ends.
Please Dr. Lee...keep the board updated on your gal pals progress.
Is she hot? It's not really all that important...just like to know. I'm a guy after all LOL
Oh...is this covered by her insurance plan? Might be important to discuss as there are limitations on plans as far as psychiatric coverage in a year. Just thought I'd mention that.
Lee C
Stay tuned!!! This is gonna be good………
Lee C