The Erotic Highway
As usual, L.G. is candid, and upfront with the issue of a business relationship that has emotional flare to it.
In my case, she saved my A--! by waving a very big
RED warning flag in my face, so that I could proceed to the nearest exit.
Now as to your issue, its good that you acknowledge your emotional self, but as always,
be aware, to be careful, as you may get what you wish for, and then you are going to be expected to
put your money where your mouth is. As L.G, stated, it is always best to communicate, and see where it goes from there.
Unless of course you are OK with living in limbo
with your feelings offered, and taken, but not equally returned.
As well, realize, that if you are willing to divorce to be with her, then why not divorce to be away from unhappiness?
Please don't get angry about this statement, but all to often, ladies and gents, will be invested or stuck in one relationship, but yet seek out another to fulfill there emotional need.
Just as long as you admit, to your need, your fear
of being alone, then can you truly be free of yourself?
But as well, we are only human, and no one is perfect by any means, so it is OK to need or desire.
-- Modified on 12/17/2007 5:08:49 AM
Hmmm...AdviceForTheHeart,
Is your question "Am I just blinded by emotion, or could something really be going on?" I don't see a question mark at the end, but let's not quibble. I'll take that as a question.
It seems you have posted somewhere before? Oh well, we always get you in the end on the Erotic Highway, 
. Now as to the answer to your question, WHO KNOWS? Since she's not here to answer, all we have to go on are your feelings. And clearly, you do have some for this lady. I'd go so far as to say that you are emotional...but are you blinded?
I don't think so. It seems to me that you are fairly clear on your feelings. You've got them, you enjoy them, but like everyone else who wants to convert their meetings from monetary to an off-the-clock relationship [whether it's paid hourly or weekly,] you've got some concerns before you let your feelings fly. So the question of "something going on" is really, "I wonder if she has the same feelings for me as I do for her." And based on your description, it's truly difficult to tell.
The fact that she wants a career and that it has to come first...let's take that a sign of sanity. A much worse scenario would be if she quit school and expected you to support her through and through. I'd really worry then. But as it is, she's saying that she wants to be independent in the long run and make something out of herself. Good for her! Now, the fact that there is a significant age difference and the fact that you still are her "sugardaddy" are definitely confounding variables.
So, the only way to find out - with the risk of getting a painful dose of reality - is to tell her that you no longer want to be her sugardaddy but her real-life boyfriend. And then see what she says. There is no reason to discuss money at this stage, just wait for an answer. And, since you are married, I guess you'd have to state that you'd go as far as getting divorced, as long as you could be her boyfriend. Honesty is truly the best policy when feelings are concerned.
Now, if she says that she doesn't want a boyfriend at this time, well, then you'll know. And then YOU can make the decision of continuing to provide funding in exchange for sex, or stop the transactional relationship in its tracks and move on.
Like the sexkitten Lynsey DePaul sang in 1972:
Save me, save me
Baby, baby sugar me
I gotta get my candy free
Sugar me by day
Sugar me my baby, baby sugar me
I gotta get my candy free
Sugar me by day, sugar me my night
Sugar sugar sugar sugar...
the Love Goddess
As usual, L.G. is candid, and upfront with the issue of a business relationship that has emotional flare to it.
In my case, she saved my A--! by waving a very big
RED warning flag in my face, so that I could proceed to the nearest exit.
Now as to your issue, its good that you acknowledge your emotional self, but as always,
be aware, to be careful, as you may get what you wish for, and then you are going to be expected to
put your money where your mouth is. As L.G, stated, it is always best to communicate, and see where it goes from there.
Unless of course you are OK with living in limbo
with your feelings offered, and taken, but not equally returned.
As well, realize, that if you are willing to divorce to be with her, then why not divorce to be away from unhappiness?
Please don't get angry about this statement, but all to often, ladies and gents, will be invested or stuck in one relationship, but yet seek out another to fulfill there emotional need.
Just as long as you admit, to your need, your fear
of being alone, then can you truly be free of yourself?
But as well, we are only human, and no one is perfect by any means, so it is OK to need or desire.
-- Modified on 12/17/2007 5:08:49 AM
I used to be much more sympathetic to people posting on TER about these sort of problems than I am now (this month is my 8 year anniversary, even though I took a break for a couple years).
But frankly, I'm saddened by the continuous flow of guys that come through here in a state of emotional distress and add to their problems through various scenarios of self-deception involving escorts. It's an easy trap to fall into, but hundreds of guys have posted excellent, objective advice about the pitfalls of seeing escorts, especially if you aren't in a good place emotionally.
Over my tenure here I've changed from sympathetic listener to tough-love practitioner. And I've done so because I've concluded the last thing guys in this fragile emotional state need is an enabler that feeds their delusion/fantasy (I'm not saying you or anybody else that has responded does this, only that I wanted to make sure I didn't do it).
When TER first launched, there was a much higher percentage of gentlemen that I would call sexual adventurers. Having learned to survive the dangers of seeing escorts in the pre-internet era, they were very savvy and experienced and a rich source of common sense. For the most part, they were able to quickly talk these guys down from the ledge when their emotions got the best of them. They'd been there, they'd learned the lessons, and suddenly TER gave them a voice and a meeting place.
But things have changed significantly as TER grew and reached a wider audience, many of whom had never seen an escort until finding this site. As a result, we now see far more men who are unable to navigate this environment without getting their feelings trampled.
The unfortunate truth is that the world is full of people that are unhappy in their relationships, or maybe they aren't even able to have a relationship for dozens of different reasons. As a result, many are emotionally vulnerable or "relationship-challenged." And to those guys, the siren song of TER and the thousands of providers with reviews here can be overwhelming.
But the rules of the game haven't changed, even if the players have. As a hundred threads have discussed, you first have to realize that this isn't reality, it is a fantasy. Which, by the way, is the only reason you pay a premium for it. Reality is everywhere and it is free. But providers offer a wonderful escape- they are a rejuvenating oasis from a harsh world. For an hour or two, they suspend their often harsh reality to make you feel better about yourself- just like Disneyland. But to the employees of Disneyland, it's just a job like any other, and they go home tired even as you go home refreshed.
Obviously, because emotions and the appearance of intimacy are involved when seeing providers, many of the people that know Disneyland is a fantasy come here failing to realize that this is nothing more than a theme park for adults. As a result, the blurring of fantasy and reality creates all sorts of problems for otherwise rational people.
So, I guess my frustration with this ongoing dilema prevents me from having the soothing, bedside manner of Love Goddess, but perhaps I've seen a few more of the sexually walking-wounded over the years and now feel a bit more like Cher in the movie "Moonstruck" when she smacks Nicolas Cage across the face and shouts "Snap out of it!" LOL
Actually, Love Goddess, I've been very impressed with your responses to posters on this board and think you provide a much needed service, especially in light of the changes I mentioned above. I'm sure your greater sensitivity to the feelings of those seeking your wise counsel is appreciated. I've been in the position many of these guys now find themselves and I DO know that they need a gentle, understanding touch sometimes. In the mean time, I guess I'm destined to be the hammer of Thor to your velvet glove.
-- Modified on 12/18/2007 11:23:36 AM
Ouch! That is taking a baseball bat across the knuckles, to get the individuals attention!
Remember, he is in pain, and while its not ours to
bear, it does not hurt to at least express your thoughts with objectivity, but leave bat ball bat as a last resort.
But sadly, you know that you are correct in your statement. To the OP, keep your head up!
But take another look at what you desire to do.
Look before you leap.