IMO, the only real reason to pick the DR over Costa Rica is if you are on a budget. Yes, you can do it cheaper in the DR, but somehow I doubt that you are one of those guys who needs to do things "on the cheap"
Let me know when you'll be there and the chances are good that so will I. I've only been back about three days and after a rare day of actually working, I am already itching to go back, but I did win a couple of grand when the beat Italy today. I bet you it was a great day in tica land today, they went crazy when they beat Uruguay last week, I can only imagine how nuts they were to beat a powerhouse like Italy.
hey all,
I was curious, the opinions about this subject. Relationships with providers. Forget about why they work but I am relationship with a provider. I care about her happiness and well being. Not a high volume business but when she works her schedule, I get knots in my stomach when she is with client or waiting for clients to call to setup appointments. But when she is back home. I am okay.
It is very distracting and affects my work.
Is this normal?
Be and let it be- we love when we feel loved and we act when we need to act. love is love, sex is sex. sometimes but not always they could mean one and the same thing.
If its fun, enjoy it and don't question, whatever will be will be.
Zoe Piers
As to the OP, yes it is perfectly natural to have it eat at you when "your woman" is off having sex with someone else. Very few guys can handle it, plus it all depends on how deep your feelings are and how easy it is for you to compartmentalize sex.
I have been in several LTR's with providers, and each case was different. With some it was no big deal at all, with others there was a "twinge" whenever I thought too much about her being with another man.
If it really bothers you that much, you may need to thing about your options, of which there really aren't many. On the one hand you could insist that she "retire" and risk her either flat out saying NO, or having to replace the lost income if she says yes. You could leave her. Or you could just leave things the way they are and stew in your own juices until we read about your murder/suicide in the newspaper. Or I suppose you could talk to her, share your feelings and try to work out something you both can live with, but what fun would that be? lol
hey GaGambler,
Thank you for reply.
I am good with her working. all that matters for me is she tell me I am the one in her heart. I hobbied alot and she knowz about it. When we moved in she asked me to stop and I asked her to stop. I do provide for her, allowance, car, school, clothes, meals etc
I just cannot figure out this knot. I could ask her to stop but then I do not like to control/force her to do unless she wants. When she come back from client, she always wants to sex with me and it is very intense and loving too. Afterwards, we lay in bed and talk. She does share her feelings with me and I do with her
working could be her way of staying in control of her life. She was obviously an independent woman before you came into her life. It's very possible that she misses that independence and this is her way of reclaiming it.
If it truly bothers you, and it sounds like it does, why not steer her into something that will make her more independent that doesn't involve fucking other guys? She could further her education if she has a mind to, or you could start a business for her, something that she has complete autonomy over, and that you would promise not to interfere with.
I don't really have the answer for you, I am just throwing ideas out there. Good Luck
BTW you are getting a straight answer out of me because I don't believe that you are simply a troll. Trolls get a completely different answer from me. For some reason your post has the ring of truth to it, or maybe I am just as big a sucker as the rest of the TERmites here. lol
"I do provide for her, allowance, car, school, clothes, meals etc " So, schooling must be important to both of them. I just wonder what grade she is in?
And in some cases (assuming she's in a college and not still in HS) he may qualify for the tuition credit.
The dude is her SD and is pissed off that he isn't the only one. Worse yet the others aren't SD's...simply tricks.
Guess his "understanding" is quite a bit different than hers.
hey ChgoCPA,
thanks for reply.
I am not SD, I am bf, but I am not mad at her, I just worry for her safety. She does screen and such but when I see her come home tried cause client was hard on her. I just help her relax and such. I do not talk about her work unless she wants to. I usually hug her to sleep or rest.
So relationahip is real for me and I think for her. When I meet her friends at school or family I am introduced as bf. I am just trying to figure out the knotz I get when she is working or waiting for clients. When she tells me she is off work I feel much better.
The problem you have is that your deal isn't hers. Time to move on....your shrink is spot on.
I see the crushing loss to the Kings hasn't dampened your wit. Always good to see some fucking common sense being offered. There must be a shortage of it outside Chicago!
hey GaGambler
thank you for reply, I really do apprecait it, i think many guys go thru this. I am not with her for free sex. I want to help her reach her goal for school and normal career.
and yes I am not a Troll, been hobby since '95, but stopped for her.
She is in school and I cover the cost. We do have an age difference of 20 years.
Her mom is not fully happy but I am trying.
I just get these knotz, my threapist says to leave her, but I think my threapist does not like the morality of what my gf is doing.
I know she needs to fix her teeth but does not want me to pay.
You maybe right on what she is looking for
because you have picked the most expensive kind, well at least the most expensive kind short of marriage. lol
and twenty years is not really a huge difference, not to mention the older you get the less a difference it will be. 19-39 is a huge difference, 25-45 is much less a difference and 40-60 is hardly any difference at all.
but please don't tell me you have a fucking therapist that you talk to about this shit. You are much better with a good bartender who might actually be able to relate with what you are talking about, at much lower rates.
You are either going to have to come to grips with this or leave her. Some guys can't stand being in love with an active provider, so can. You just may be one of those guys that can't, the fact that you have a therapist speaks volumes in that regard. Your ego has to be very strong to fall in love with an active hooker not have it eat at you. Most guys with egos that strong (not large, but strong) don't see therapists, it's almost a contradiction in terms.
Best way to get through this quagmire. With each successive post out comes more detail.
So now we've got the dental problem. I suspect that there's a boob job and some other cosmetic shit coming soon as well.
And then you've now got Mom getting involved. Shit...she may be the girls scheduler. Want to be there's also a kid or two involved?
Sorry...he's not a troll. I agree with that observation. But if he has been in P4P as he suggests he knows damn well what a SD is...as well as Capt. Save-A-Hoe. Denying it (as he does above) is part of his issue. He is living in a fantasy world that he's created for himself.
I agree with his shrink...he needs to move on from this gig.
and twenty years is not really a huge difference, not to mention the older you get the less a difference it will be. 19-39 is a huge difference, 25-45 is much less a difference and 40-60 is hardly any difference at all.
but please don't tell me you have a fucking therapist that you talk to about this shit. You are much better with a good bartender who might actually be able to relate with what you are talking about, at much lower rates.
You are either going to have to come to grips with this or leave her. Some guys can't stand being in love with an active provider, so can. You just may be one of those guys that can't, the fact that you have a therapist speaks volumes in that regard. Your ego has to be very strong to fall in love with an active hooker not have it eat at you. Most guys with egos that strong (not large, but strong) don't see therapists, it's almost a contradiction in terms.
hey all,
I want to thanks for the reply and sorry i dont post everything.
As for the threapist, I am alway interested in other people opinion but that does not mean I listen to them mindlessly, I know what I want, as I said in the beginning I am trying to figure out why I have knotz in my stomach.
I am not sure where I post went away but I said my gf was a provider before we meet. Actually I was a client to when she stopped working we continue relationship as friends. I helped her with understand issue living in usa. she is not born in usa. As we hung out, we start to get close and then she moved in to save cost on rent and for us to be together. She only started to be provider again recently.
When I say teeth, she wanted to get dental implants for some teeth that need. I told her I would pay for it or put into my medical but she said no she will do.
I am not blind. I can see I might be a SD or trying to do a pretty women movie.
Since I know enough about the asian side of hobby, we do have somethings in common to talk and such. and it is 21-41 for age. Her friends seem to think I am old guy lol. My friends thing I am robbing the cradle.
All good, may I just need to not think into this much since when she comes home she wants to sleep and be with me. She did say if it bothers me she will stop
and I am 55 and none of her friends seemed to think I was an "old guy" maybe it's my immaturity? lol
Oh and my friends never thought I was "robbing the cradle" anyone who thinks that way would never be my friend.
and yes, you did answer your own question. You really are thinking into this too much. If you want her to stop, you just said she would. So, what's the problem? Just ask her to stop
Her asking you to quit your hobby. Bullshit! If she's going to hobby, she sure as Hell shouldn't be asking you not to.
One of the reasons I'd entertain the idea of a relationship with a provider is that she can compartmentalize the difference between sex, fantasy and caring for someone on an emotional level. This is not to say that I don't care about the wellbeing of providers that I see, but I don't care about them as one would someone they love.
Sex is sex, fucking is fucking, love is love.
But it's still a tough call. I'd advise something like what you say in another situation: don't cut back... Make more money...and then buy her out. That's if the OP is really uncomfortable with the situation and wants to be in a relationship.
If it truly bothers you, and it sounds like it does, why not steer her into something that will make her more independent that doesn't involve fucking other guys? She could further her education if she has a mind to, or you could start a business for her, something that she has complete autonomy over, and that you would promise not to interfere with.
I don't really have the answer for you, I am just throwing ideas out there. Good Luck
BTW you are getting a straight answer out of me because I don't believe that you are simply a troll. Trolls get a completely different answer from me. For some reason your post has the ring of truth to it, or maybe I am just as big a sucker as the rest of the TERmites here. lol
I have spent some time reading your website, you seem like a wonderful woman. How does one get a password to your other site? Your alter ego I presume.
I very much enjoy what a woman says about herself on her website, it's cool to get that glimpse of who she is, no matter how fleeting that glimpse may be.
I take time off work when she's working. I can do this because she's low volume. Then, I hang with her while she's making appointments. When the clients show up, I hide in the closet so I know she's just working and can tell she not having a better time with the thick 10 inchers than she has with me. That's what works for me, but YMMV. Hope this helps. Oh, and one more thing, I always fuck her bb just minutes before every appointment.
-- Modified on 6/20/2014 2:19:11 PM
hey bonordonor,
thank you for your reply
I am not jealous, just worry that is she is treated well. I am confident in my relationship with her if she was to leave me, I at least know she made the choice to be happy. As I said her happiness and well being is my biggest concern. She was worried about her working would affect how I love/care for her, it has been 2 months and I am not mad or jealous.
We still engage in our love making, I can be gentle when she wants and harder when she wants. I always let her control the progress of what we do.
I just cannot figure out why I get knotz in my stomach. I am not cuckold/bdsm with her but we tried it lol. I do not use her money for our expenses, I provide very well to her. We have been living together for 9 months and only recently she decided to start working but for short period as she said
yep, but sorta came out of the blue
It didn't turn out too good.
I wasn't really jealous of her clients. I was more....
How do I explain this??
I guess you think you have what you have always wanted..
But once you have it. You realize it was the idea you liked.
Not the reality. I'm saying "you" meaning me...
There is more to it than getting over jealousy.
For me anyway...
I had problems with the morality? I don't know how to explain it.
I guess what I mean is...
When you date someone who does an illegal activity to make money.
You begin to support said illegal activity because that's her/his livelihood.
We all want to support, and encourage our SO's in their work right?
It's twisted, and unhealthy.
I had to end it.
Being okay with her job began to eat at me.
What does that say of me?
What kind of peice of shit doesn't care if his girl is fucking other guys?
Me?
Never again.
So just a word of advice..
Think long and hard about a relationship with a provider..
It's a slippery slope of mind fucks, and drama.
I love sessions where I live out the fantasy of fucking some other guy's wife, fiancée, SO, whatever. So OPs like this just fuels the fire, knowing that the situation is common enough to be real.
I wonder how many relationships would fall apart if my envelopes stopped putting food on their table.
It isn't food she is after.
It's all the material shit that ends up owning you.
Cars. Big houses. Watches, clothes.
I have to respect her for stopping at nothing to get it.
At the same time. I prayed she never gave me any gifts
Besides, putting them in a position where they wind up in debt and needing useless things...that's fun, too.
Please? 
so I may piss on your grave?
That's fantasy too..
Whatcha think of my fantasy?
But this is fucking around is all about. We all have rich emotional lives.
I was curious, the opinions about this subject. Relationships with providers. Forget about why they work but I am relationship with a provider. I care about her happiness and well being. Not a high volume business but when she works her schedule, I get knots in my stomach when she is with client or waiting for clients to call to setup appointments. But when she is back home. I am okay.
It is very distracting and affects my work.
Is this normal?
She was one of those artists who paint flames on the fenders, ocean breakers along the doors, cool waves and palms on the hood and trunk, combinations of fire and water motifs, naked island girls lounging in the sand, a lot of extreme special requests, some weird (like cows grazing) and some cutesy (like skunks and chipmunks frolicking in the woods). My favorites were snarling tigers or jaguars on the hood. She traveled all over the country, wherever a client wanted his or her car detailed.
So I know exactly where you're coming from, pal. Careers can be a bitch.
-- Modified on 6/20/2014 3:44:39 PM
It's the first one I pulled up doing anal with warts/blisters on her leg! lmao
Requires a man who is very secure. You need to understand that YOU are the person she chooses to be with, to share her likes, dislikes, dreams, vulnerabilities, heartbreaks, what makes her sad, what makes her happy basically who she really is. The sex, companionship and intimacy she is sharing with us hobbyists is just fantasy, and I presume if you'll just think of it that way and treat it that way then you'll understand that it's just her job. If she keeps coming home to you, then it seems to me that you have absolutely nothing to be concerned about.
I personally, would like to be in a relationship with a provider, if I were to be in a relationship. There are many reasons, but I'll share just one, I'd totally get off on her telling me about her sessions. I absolutely adore sluts, so much so that the word slut is in my mind a term of endearement. I understand that I am not of the norm, and that's ok.
I see two providers who I know have SO's and they both say their SO is just like me and that they enjoy the thought of their woman sucking and fucking other men, one of those two ladies told me her SO would be in the closet watching if he could. If I were in a relationship with a provider, I'd try to talk her into doing a gang bang with me present of course, now think about that for her, she'd get multiple donations for the same time frame and satisfy her man and his perversions at the same time.
I know I'm bent, and just so any of you haters know, I don't give a fuck what you think about me, so it's going to be a complete waste of your time to tell me so.
I am, who I am, and I like being me, especially this life of the hobby.
and give me just a few minutes and I'll be joining you. lol
It's funny, but I have been in many relationships with hookers and I am a guy who really doesn't "get off" on the fact that she fucks other guys.
I think the reason I date so many hookers is the same reason that doctors date nurses or lawyers date paralegals. I simply interact with hookers more than women from any other walk of like. lol
Oh Hell yeah I'm bent. My recent fantasy is to have a provider dress like a street walker and pick her up for a $20 blow and go. Of course I'll be giving her way more than $20, but you get the point. In all my mongering I've never picked up a street walker and never will because of the probability of her being trafficked or her doing it to support a drug habit.
No doubt I'm a drunk, and no doubt I'm bent. But I don't hurt anyone and I don't impose my integrity on others. By the way, I'm definitely going to do the Costa Rica trip this fall. I was going to do the DR (DR nights) all inclusive resort, but you guys made CR sound so much better, pick one up have a ball (pun intended), go have a Bourbon and do it all over again. How fucking cool is that?
IMO, the only real reason to pick the DR over Costa Rica is if you are on a budget. Yes, you can do it cheaper in the DR, but somehow I doubt that you are one of those guys who needs to do things "on the cheap"
Let me know when you'll be there and the chances are good that so will I. I've only been back about three days and after a rare day of actually working, I am already itching to go back, but I did win a couple of grand when the beat Italy today. I bet you it was a great day in tica land today, they went crazy when they beat Uruguay last week, I can only imagine how nuts they were to beat a powerhouse like Italy.
russbj, I'm not getting a sense of that sort of attitude from the OP. I read his posts as being that he's in love with her, she just recently decided to start being a provider, he's not comfortable with it, but she's comfortable with him taking care of her needs. If I'm misreading lostinlove604, I'd welcome his correction.
Now that I re read it, you're right. Guess my response was just babble, oh well, nothing lost nothing gained.
ou two will have to work it through, no one else can.
How someone else may handle the same situation is not going to help you all that much
Especially after that rare and mind-blowing GFE, I can walk out of a session thinking, "I could so easily fall in love with her." After a few minutes the afterglow leaves, and reality sets in, and I tell myself, "she was sweet and special, and I really got my money's worth on that one, good job, girl." And if she's that good, all the other guys are coming to the same conclusion. Real life ain't like the movies. The overwhelming majority of providers are not, if my guess is right, looking for "Mr. Right" to take them away from the trade and live happily ever after. At some level, they must like what they do well enough not to choose another way of making a living. I'm not saying the relationship is ONLY physical, I can see having real "love" for an ATF or regular provider, but if that goes beyond genuine concern and fondness, you are asking for trouble, IMO. Don't know if you were a client before you were a significant other, but still, dude. My amateur take on this is that you are being the male version of the chick who goes after the bad boy, thinking that "our love is so special that he has to change." Live in la-la land if you want to. I say this because I'm overall a caring guy, and you seem to be too, which is a vulnerability that will break you if you let it.
hey passlover,
thanks for reply
She does GFE and actually stresses about doing a poor job. yes I was a client before. Given who my exwife was I dont go for bad girls but maybe I have a rescue thought process. She did stop working but only recently wanted to start again.
looking for Mr. Right and Ms. Right they just haven’t found them yet.
Mr. Right and Ms. Right is very, very unique to each and every one. Neither you, or I or anyone else can describe them for anyone else but our own to ourselves.
The irony is one rarely finds Mr. or Ms right even when we think we found them, it ends up being not over the long run.
One of the miserable ironies of life so, engage in other activities to compensate.
school's out for summer..more mind bending bullshit on tap..
hey all,
Thank you for the replies.
Cannot talk to my friends about this cause they dont hobby and when I do they tell me to not date a provider.
I think I will keep myself busy when she is working and not think too much about it. I know she wants to be with me in the end. There is an old chinese say about it all matters where she/he sleepings at night and it is with me unless I snore then she going to guest room. Maybe I worry she her health and mind well being.
I am not going to tell her to stop but just ride it out, the months before she was not working were great except when I wanted to sleep and she did not lol
Thank again guys, much appreciated!
The question is why you remain in a relationship that is stressful for you?
Deprived
Just sayin'.
I may be "depraved" but rarely "deprived" lol
early March, Turned out we have many mutual friends . He is my type all the way, It is extra interesting I d say dating a provider. I d just say hold on to your seat belt because you GOTTA be a tad crazy , Ivy league or not, I dont care, Vip high end courtesian, I dont care how you chaulk it up you just gotta be a tad nutz to be doin it, My opinion, To get involved with an escort? i think you are equally a tad eccentric quirky nuts. Just enjoy the chaos and dont be jealous , Its acting.
You think movie stars husband get upset during nude scene in bed together. Make out sessions? Its same thing we are acting out a character and putting on an entertaining show of sorts, Dont let that screw up your confidence . I knnow for me what i do is just be sure to fake orgasm with clients, Oh geesh did i say that, Yeah i did, I d say as long as she is not depriving you and gettn off with all the clients and it is truly a show and she is simply being a fantasy for guys who may or may not have a girl or wife they can do anal with, They may or may not be able to land a 26 year old 105 lb co ed with long chestnut hair .
They maybe arent married but work crazy hours and just dotn have time right now to date. Whatever reason . 90 percent the clients understand its not reality it is a play a dance between two people nothing more, You the escort and client have to detach and realize it is what it is, And you can date an escort and you really shouldnt worry,
It an act a play a fantasy, For me it means nothing to me, its just a way to make a living pay rent. I dont escort to buy property invest save , I just work to live like many others, If not for fibro i d def go for it a tad harder but thats what I have to accept that I cant do as much as I d want from physical pain in neck arms sometimes hip flexors, Every one escort for different reason maybe you should ask about a future together and if shed plan on stopping because it really really hurts you, i dont know, Stuffing feelings aint good so she may not agree but i d tell her its affecting you, If you still cant accept you have to protect your own mental health and at that point you should move on i am sure you ll meet the right one.
Well said!
hey angelexotic,
thank you for the post.
You are correct about this. Maybe it is true I prefer her to not work, just for the health risks. I know at the end of day, she tells me I do not charge u for sex so you are my bf & she wants sex alot. Since I have lived with her, I take pills to be ready for her lol.
I am confident about my relationship with her but I would also be happy if she left to be with someone that makes her happier. I really do care alot about her. I never get mad that she has seen up to 4 clients a day, bring up her work when we have arguements, or do outcall late at night. In each, I tell her to make sure she has energy and healthy body(she stresses about the work cause of the possible bad review), she has been late for dinner I cook cause additional appt but I wait for her to come home, shower and we eat, but sometimes I do not like her to go out at 3am for 2hour outcall cause then she is driving home late. lol I have been her driver if it is late.
I think about reading everyone's comments, which I appreciate, I have knotz in my stomach when she works cause I do not want it to affect our future, ie client in her workplace or health issues or babies making ability. I personally dont care if my coworkers find out she is "working" cause I love her.
So maybe I just need to stop worry since she was a provider for 3 years or so before I met her and she wants to work now for herself even though I pay for her expenses.
Thanks guys for all the replies.
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