The Erotic Highway
Dear valley_train,
The best dental dam, IMHO, is one you make out of a piece of Saran Wrap. It's still pliable enough to go with the flow and yet, nothing will penetrate it unless you poke a hole in it. Just rip off a piece, put it in front of your mouth and go.
Have I had one used on me? Mwahahaa....I came of sexual age WAY before such devices were promoted. Heck, we thought the clap was exotic. But since you asked for my PERSONAL experience, I'll say this:
I think it takes away from the sensation to use dental dams. Yep, I do. I'd rather not get [or perform DATY] if there is going to be some type of barrier involved. The beauty of cunnilingus is vascular tissue against vascular tissue [tongue against clitoris, labia, etc.] and the sensations it confers upon them. While I understand the reasons for safe sex, I am of the controversial(?) mind that risk is in the eyes of the beholder. But that's me, and I'm well aware that everyone has his/her limits. Personally, I wouldn't use a condom for fellatio, but I would for vaginal sex. Go figure that logic...maybe there isn't one, but heck, when was sex EVER logical? So I'll be very childlike and devil-may-care and say that I don't like to have any type of artificial material interfering with my oral enjoyments.
Now following this argument, my question to you would be, 'how much DATY do you think you'll enjoy with a piece of Saran Wrap in front of your mouth?' Because I hope you realize that in order to protect from anything harmful, the Saran Wrap or latex square in front of your mouth has to be "unpierced." Now, a provider who doesn't allow DATY in the first place...how much do you seriously think she'll enjoy it? I'd wager that she won't orgasm from it at all, and that this becomes a "service issue" more than one of mutual pleasure. Plus, if anyone's visual out there...the look of a dental dam somehow reminds me of Jason with the hockey mask in that horror flick [or whichever one it is teenagers flock to around Halloween.] Is that sexy?
My advice is this: if you can't bring yourself to DATY with some of these "aromatic pussies," then just don't go to the trouble. Because what could happen is that you get near their little aromatic flowers, haul out the dam, decide to dam the torpedoes and go full speed ahead - damless...and then you'll be saying 'dammit!' And blame yourself and go through all sorts of excruciating fears for quite some time. But as I said, this is my personal opinion, and I'm sure many will disagree.
In the brain of the beholder, in the brain of...
the Love Goddess
I am glad that you enjoy sex with dental dams, because this will give some who are curious the hope that not everyone is reluctant! Now, as I stated in my posting, this was my PERSONAL preference. Strictly PERSONAL. Not for everyone.
As for the risk factors mentioned, you most certainly are correct. No one will dispute the information, certainly not yours truly. That's why I always advise people to use their own heads and their own preferences when making sexual decisions. Therefore, I am not saying that having bareback anything is risk free. I am merely stating that I personally find it uncomfortable.
The provider in question, mentioned by the original poster, was apparently not interested in offering DATY, hence there could be two possibilities: a) she doesn't like cunnilingus or b) she may like it with a dental dam.
By the way, I also detest flavored lube 
That's personal too, and I'm sure that many people love it. And yes, I have suggested it to therapy clients, so I'm not adverse to its use whatsoever.
Finally, safe sex can be very, very sexy. Just not for everyone, for a variety of reasons, which each individual needs to take into consideration when going out there in this big, bad germridden world.
I am glad you enjoy dental dams,
the Love Goddess