Which means I had to make a mockery of it (as I am wont to do) by making a fake w4m ad. While I do enjoy age play and being on the giving end of sadism, I did this more for laughs than anything and hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:

Curvy, young baby girl looking for daddy to please me

Have you ever thought about unleashing your wilder side? Did you think 50 Shades was too tame? Well, get ready for some play you'll never forget.  

Me: a youthful looking 20-something with a perky body who just loves to get her way.

You: a daddy who will stop at nothing to make sure his baby girl is happy.  

Us: We'll spend the evening together while mommy is out with her friends. That's when the real fun begins. I'll start by tying you up in the living room with your laptop’s charging cords. You'll be helpless to obey my every whim. Then, I'll eat every last cookie that you baked for me… Before dinner. That will completely ruin my appetite, so we'll move on to the film section of our evening.  

We're going to watch every Disney Princess movie since Snow White and sing along with all of the songs. If you miss a tune or a lyric, I'll have to punish you. I'll ride you around the living room like you're Nana from Peter Pan, beating you over the rump with a handful of Barbies and steering with your hair until I'm completely satisfied.  

Eventually, I'll tie you back up so I can color. Hopefully, I'm using dry erase and not permanent markers, but the view from your living room windows isn't all that great anyways. The Care Bears are MUCH more fun to look at. And don't call the other drawing a giraffe, no matter how long its neck is. Clearly, it's a unicorn.

Will you be a princess, too, daddy? Good! I brought some extra makeup from Mommy’s room to do you up. It's too bad I can't braid your hair because of your bald spot. That's okay.  

Oh, and don't even think about refusing any of my requests. On the one hand, when I call Child Protective Services on you for touching your child, you'll be rid of me. On the other, you'll lose your job, your house, and your wife. Capische