It sounds to me that you simply need to move on to someone who will be reasonable about verification. There are providers who should be willing to work with you on getting verification that works for you and still give her the reasonable assurance that you are a legitimate hobbyist. If her attitude in the pre-screening process already rubs you the wrong way, chances are good that the meeting may not work out as well.
Personally, I've only had to give out my work number once. Most of the time, a provider reference is good enough and having a record of posting on the boards also helps.
I definitely understand that a work number may not be the best way to verify a hobbyist's legitimacy for everyone. But done properly, a provider call to work can be as innocuous as a telemarketer or vendor cold calling for something. Fortunately, there are ladies out there who understand that and will work with other ways to check us out.
Just my $.02.
BKMan
If I give out my work #, what does it really prove? That I'm not LE. How does a provider "tactfully" check my employment status?
Provider; does xyz work here?
Employer; yes, would you like to speak to him?
Provider; no & then hangs up, or no I just wanted to see if he worked there or was in, & then hangs up.
Employer says; hey xyz, I just got a puzzling call from a strange lady regarding your employment status. Are you looking for another job? Or employer says; why would someone want to know if you work here? Or other uncomfortable comments.
Xyz; uh I don't know, as my face begins to get red.
I don't need that agravation. Why isn't my home # enough along with a referal from a provider or two?
Yesterday I tried to see a provider in Carlsbad. She was very rude, short, & inpatient. Inspite of my willingness to give her referrals, she would have none of it. I was extremly polite, and tried to work with her. Her comments were "I don't have time to call referals". OK, how about meeting me for a cup of coffee, or a sandwich and get to know each other. If the provider still is uncomfortable with me then we part ways.
Provider; I don't have time to meet every guy for coffee.
Xyz; I'm not every guy, & I'm sure you'll like me.
Provider;I need your work #!
Xyz; forget it.I'll go elsewhere.
What bothers me most, besides her CRAPPY attitude is; she has no reviews on this site, & she wants all my personal info. Well, how do I, the customer know YOUR not LE. Or a ripoff. Or some blackmail artist like the one I read about on the DC board?
In the end she lost out on a good customer. Since I live in the North county area I will just keep on seeing the providers that i have been with before and miss out on some variety.
Georgiana, a great massage, Dream has been to my place and is incredible, and BEAUTIFUL. Autumn and Vianca have been over also and it was mind blowing to say the least. My one & only 2 girl experience!!!!Happy happy happy.
Providers, how do you go about dealing with customers employers? And is there a way around this?
Sorry so long.
They want a number that they can look up in a public phone directory, or in information, and see the company's name listed. Then when they call it, they want the phone to be answered the way any receptionist would:
"hello, this is Johnscompany, how may I direct your call?"
Then, they want to find out that you work there, under the name you gave them.
This is not THAT easy to phony up, especially if they then proceed to ask the receptionist some useful questions, like, may I talk to a salesman, or investor relations, etc.. It is a useful screening element.
I appreciate the feedback Dman.
Except that more and more organizations don't have central core facilities with live receptionists; that more and more people are self-employed contractors; and that many employees in (very) small companies would ask just those embarassing questions alluded to above.
If anything with the rise of the "Free-Agent Nation" and telecommuting, the old-style model of a corporate structure in a single location staffed with receptionists to route calls is becoming as passe as, dare I say, dot-coms.
I work for a company that is very cost conscious. As part of this, they now have an electronic system that routes your calls. (Computers are much cheaper than real live warm bodies).
Like I said, I don't mind giving my number but I don't think this will fly. Unfortunately, I have nothing else to offer than references from other ladies and at least three business numbers that will give you an electronic response with my voice answering an email box. I'm never in the office to receive these calls but always leave a number where I can usually be reached.
I only post this to give this side of a story as I've never had a lady that wouldn't work with me.
I am a very good screener but have found ways to verify employment of gentlemen who are in unique situations. If you are in a residence, have I.d. with your current address or a bill with your name and address, and have references such as autumn and vianca...both well known and respected then I don't care what you do for a living. If you have an automated system and a message can be eletronically routed to you or your voicemail through a main phone number that is listed then I simply contact you that way or leave you a message with a code word attached that you must call me back and verify. A lady can also meet the gent outside of the arranged meeting lace and verify emloyment through work i.d. or paperwork...there are several things that work. Then there are the retired gents who often have proof of former employment or a recent ssi check stub blah blah blah. An intelligent provider should offer a variety of ways to screen bu the key for me is that I have three different points of info to verify that you are who you say you are, that you are not employed by a local or federal law enforcement agency. I must admit that most providers are hardley creative in their methods of screening and should try to work with the gentlemen a bit more sometimes.
The only time I've really had a problem is when a lady asked me for my DL# as part of her screening. I don't mind showing it to a lady on arrival but I do mind giving it as part of screening. I'm more than willing to give you ten different ways to identify me but numbers such as a social security and DL are something I just won't give as part of screening.
It's not that I think any lady would go out and abuse these numbers. It's just that I don't know their living situations and who else may have access to these types of sensitive numbers.
Let's face it, if everybody met somebody they were attracted to and could trust at the same time, then this "hobby" would be a lot less active than it is.
I had a referral from you once and I almost felt embarrassed to live up to it. Thanks for being so nice about those type of things!
I am not saying that you should give your DL# to a provider. A legitimate provider can use your DL# to check against several databases and satisfy herself that you do not have a criminal record for armed robbery, rape, etc.
Ginger, Vianca, and all fellow hobbiest's, thank you for taking the time to respond to my complaint. It's great to know that it didn't fall on deaf ears.
Vianca I have your # and will be calling.
Ginger, your post was very enlightening, and I look forward to spending some quality time with you.
Again thanks, and have a great weekend!!
Firstly, I do nothing illegal when I meet you. If we decide to get personal, we'll terminate the employer/employee relationship and do whatever we find pleasure in. So while I do screen, it's primarily for my personal safety. We've all heard about the one or two awful guys out there that decide they want to hurt a working girl. This is the main reason that I screen for a man that would have alot to lose should he attempt to do anything untowards during his time with me. I want to go home safe and sound. The second reason that I screen is that I want to gaurantee satisfaction, and I know I won't "hit it off" with 100% of the guys out there. So for a first meeting I keep my standards very very high as far as atmosphere and pricing. Once I've gotten to meet a gentleman and shared conversation and, should we decide to get personal... well, I've pretty much always left a smiling happy guy that will call me again when he's back in town. (And I'm usually pretty darn satisfied myself!!!) The one occasion I can recall that didn't go the way I liked, the fellow lied to me about several of my screening questions and I failed to double check!
So, while I may ask you a ton of seemingly silly questions, I still practice the UTMOST in discretion. I won't make any calls to any number that you ask me not to. It's all so that I have a good idea who you are so that if we meet it will ALL BE THE GREATEST. (I serve Carlsbad!!)
STAY SAFE LADIES, and men, HAVE a WONDERFUL TIME!!!!
*Kisses* Tara
So sorry to hear how this lady treated you. 
Sometimes new providers don't know how to go at it, so they act kind of skeptical!. She will learn...
As for me,this is not a job, this is a pleasure that i love to enjoy to at its max. capacity.
Call me sometime, I pick up my cell!!!
It sounds to me that you simply need to move on to someone who will be reasonable about verification. There are providers who should be willing to work with you on getting verification that works for you and still give her the reasonable assurance that you are a legitimate hobbyist. If her attitude in the pre-screening process already rubs you the wrong way, chances are good that the meeting may not work out as well.
Personally, I've only had to give out my work number once. Most of the time, a provider reference is good enough and having a record of posting on the boards also helps.
I definitely understand that a work number may not be the best way to verify a hobbyist's legitimacy for everyone. But done properly, a provider call to work can be as innocuous as a telemarketer or vendor cold calling for something. Fortunately, there are ladies out there who understand that and will work with other ways to check us out.
Just my $.02.
BKMan
it seems my early age retirement is a detriment in my abitlity to see some providers. no ssi stubs because of my age, private personal phone #'s, and a need for privacy in my life has made it difficult with some providers, but they are a miniority. i usually just pass on them when their requests are out of line. recently though there is one provider i want to see and i'm going through some intersting screening process with her, which hopefully will provide her the information required for us to meet. the point being it depends on what extent you're willing to comprise your personal life to see a provider. myself in this case feel comfortable passing on the information requested by her because of her reputation and long time service in this area. if it was a new provider requesting the same information i'd just walk away. and as one hobbyist on this board equivocally states "this is all fiction anyways."
I feel for all of you who are concerned with privacy. Some concessions have to be made from both parties. Afterall, we are not trying to sell encyclopedias here.
Positive verification can be made in several ways. References from other established providers is the best way. These are like informal reviews of a hobbyist.
Another way is formal reviews. times25, you would easily be able to indentify yourself to a provider in the TER message system. Either private TER mail if the provider is a VIP or on the message board. A short message from you on the message board could verify that you are legit because of your previous reviews.
Now obviously, new providers and new hobbyists can't really rely on thier reputation for verification. SO, give up what the provider wants. Her life might be in danger if she didn't verify who she's going to see.
And don't give me any crap about the hobbyists' life could be in danger - you get to see pictures and know a lot more about the girl before you see her. If you feel like you're in danger, then your choice in provider is skewed.
Every provider has their way of feeling assured that who she's going to see won't beat her or arrest her. You have to understand that we aren't trying to compile a telemarketing list with your information. If you feel she ask too much, move on. Just don't be mad.
In my opinion, I think it should be the providers problem not the hobbyist. Lets face it, the hobbyist does this for a hobby and has a real job and possibly family. The provider lives on the edge of acceptable behavior for a living and should accept the risk. There are too many instances now of providers who keep your number and call for business, or crazy ones who can try and extort money from you.
The customer should not have to absorb the risk for your business. Sure you may show your pictures on the internet (however old they may be), but how many names are gone through in a career? I don't want to use my real name and I sure as hell don't want to give out my work number. My whole life could be ruined. After all most of you don't have a problem putting your picture up on the internet as an escort, I have a big problem with my picture on the internet for being a John. (and i am ugly as hell to boot)
I don't mean to be insensitive, its just that the provider does all of this for a living and should assume the brunt of the risk. You getting busted with my name and number anywhere on your premises would just be too terrible for me to even contimplate.
Looks like I will never be able to see some of you hotties that screen. My loss though. If you feel a need to do it to be safe, more power to you. How many guys like me pass on a screener for no other reason than the screen itself? I mean, shit, I need some damn discretion! That would not include having an escort, named Heaven or Summer or Lolita (nice real names), I don't know calling my work and checking me out no matter how smooth she may be.
Again, I realize this is my loss. I wish we could all just see whoever we wanted for however much we wanted to pay and the LE, wives and girlfriends would be cool with it.