Finally have a few minutes to reflect on my week and thought I'd share.  
   
 So it started out with taking a flight and not being able to upgrade to even economy plus..knees in my throat for the entire duration.  What was even worse was the asshole sitting near me with what seemed like sweaty (and I suspect non-manscaped) balls.  I noticed that the dude kept checking out one hookers website as well...ogling her pics that seemed to have her doing a striptease.  
   
 And wouldn't you know it...my fucking luck I'm stuck in the middle seat between the Great American Hobbyist and the Great American Asian Hobbyist.  Three fucking hours of these two dudes arguing who was the "best" hobbyist.  Finally the flight attendant...an Asian man in his mid 50's told them to STFU and never use the word hobbyist again.  I don't know who that man was...but thank you.  
   
 Unfortunately another smell seemed to permeate the cabin.  Perfume..cologne..I don't know but it wasn't masking the smell of the sweaty balls enough in any case.  Finally a movie started to play (they wanted $ 5.00 for it and I don't pay for that shit)...but it seemed like a chick flick as I noticed a couple of women babbling about how they like to be pleased...so they must have been lesbians as they seemed to know how to please each other quite well.  
   
 Many of the passengers seemed to be quite happy in any event.  I guess they all got laid earlier in the week?  A few did complain about their sex partners...something about morning breath and bed head.  And in case anyone cared...you can get porn on the internet at 30,000 feet.  Some guys were checking it out..others seemed to not care.  And yet others preferred to read erotic literature...some were also writing it.  
   
 A few days ago I got to meet the scientists who are growing vaginas.  They are still conflicted as to how best to present it to the masses...as a MILF, a GILF or something just plain nasty (as is sometimes evidenced on the photo board).  There was also some discussion about the latest internet bug...but United Airlines isn't affected...or so they claim.    
   
 Around Wednesday I noticed some weird skin thing going on with me.  I didn't know what to do about it...so I figured some anal sex would resolve the problem.  I guess it has worked..so far.  
   
 And then the most bizarre thing...fucking United Airlines wants me to write a review.  So I told them I'm chgoCPA and they wanted to see if I could get someone who will write them a 10/10.  Seems they did some background check on me.  Hmmpph!!  
   
 I did suggest that they hire only real hot cuties to be flight attendants.  And that they should all wear leather outfits.  I'm hoping that works out...but my pal OSP is doubtful.  He said that they'll hire old hags and that won't be fun.    
   
 But if all flight attendants get EROS approved...what can possibly go wrong?  Oh..and some celebs were on the flight.  Too bad...they didn't have their make-up on and I wasn't sure who was who.  
   
 When did the airlines also want to know your zodiac sign?  Seems like the airlines want to know which city has the best hookers as well...it was part of the airlines attempt to make the passengers happy.  I think Chicago...but that nice Asian flight attendant suggested checking out Costa Rica.  He seemed knowledgeable.  
   
 Whew....quite a week.  Well, actually only 2 days.