Lol, I didn't realize that! Most of what's there was filled in by reviewers, so I'm guessing I have to contact support and just ask for the change?
Men probably figured there's no BDSM because I always turn down the ever-popular golden shower...For BDSM professionals (not those who escort and do light S&M, ie, light spanking), what services do you think, deserve an additional point in the Overall Performance category
Dommes who keep me locked up in long-term chastity (and require regular check-ins between sessions) deserve double the credit of a bbbj, in my humble (it goes without saying!) opinion. Seriously folks, the difference between an experience with a true Domme (lifestyle & pro) and a "bimbo with a whip" (as a certain German Goddess in NYC would say) is subtle, yet all important.
Brown Showers
Personally, providing anal on clients, like fisting, double fisting, dildo play, etc. can be very messy at times & I believe that should receive an extra point as well.
Creative Role play sometimes you get special requests that seem a bit harsh, but are hardcore players who know what they want. For example: Cuckhold, Kidnapping, severve torture, or ball busting to the point where you make the sub bleed at their wishes of course.
I also do not think it is right for you to isolate BDSM to only Dominatrixes this is 2014, so the traditional Domme is history. Providers who offer more, like escort, fbsm are in high demand & deserve an extra point for being open-minded enough to realize that not all subs want to be belittled & punished. Many seek Sensual Domination, which is extremely popular most Dommes allow pussy worship, and some even more if they enjoy the playdate. Always YMMV!
There are so many variables here, how about pegging? Ass play? Fisting? Some of us specialize in these services which can be quite a job! What about medical fetish which requires an additional professional skill set? How does e-Stim and electro figure in? Would you be awarding points because of proficiency? Was your pro prepared? Knowledge and skill regarding your specific scene? Being able to get you fully immersed into the scene? Does the professional seem knowledgable about aftercare? Sterile technique and sanitization of equipment and areas? These things can be important depending on the scene and well they should be strongly considered regardless for true BDSM players.
My first concern is the safety, skill and knowledge level of a player. I of course want safe, sane, consensual! However safety and skill are huge!
Grace
-- Modified on 4/2/2014 2:17:45 AM
-- Modified on 4/2/2014 2:44:29 AM
If an escort can get "10" if she provides anal, then Dommes should get those extra points as well, it is just anal in the other direction 
I think skill should count for something. I have various skill sets (needles, sounds, electro, bondage) that require me to have certain knowledge and tools that many "doms" don't have.
And yes, there are times when a session can turn sensual, and that should be taken into account as well.
K
Proper prostate massage and milking, stretching, strap on play and fisting... being an anal top requires a lot of skill and finesse.
Heavy submission on the part of the provider should absolutely deserve an additional point.
Medical play: E-Stim, needles, sounding, the plethora of more edgy and dangerous types of play in this field...
I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that competent BDSM providers and full service providers are not mutually exclusive.
I agree on the heavy submission!
Heavy submission on the part of the provider should absolutely deserve an additional point.
Medical play: E-Stim, needles, sounding, the plethora of more edgy and dangerous types of play in this field...
I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that competent BDSM providers and full service providers are not mutually exclusive.
Offering true professional domination services requires a really extensive set if skills and knowledge. There should definitely be points offered for the following:
Intense anal play (fisting, pegging, prostate massage)
Chastity training
Cross dressing/sissification
Full slave training
Golden/crimson/roman/brown showers
Electrical play (violet wand, tens unit, etc)
Role play
Advanced medical play (play piercing, sounding, catheters, etc.)
Long term confinement
Trampling
Bastinado
Heavy corporal punishment (heavy flogging, strapping, or caning that may or may not involve bondage furniture)
Sensory play and sensory deprivation
I offer almost all of this and more, and should be able to be scored higher because I can do all of these things safely and sanely.
And yes; contrary to popular belief, those of us who offer real, intense domination sessions are no less skilled or professional because we also offer full service. Those of us who offer a full range of services should not be looked down upon simply because our limits are different. Sex-worker hierarchy is silly
...if the provider is a domme, a sub, switch, etc.
When I see provider reviews where the S&M tag merely says "light", "heavy", "spanking", etc, I still don't know whether that means the provider is into giving or getting.
Sometimes even reading the reviews doesn't help--at least in those cases where the provider offers both GFE/PSE as well as kink services, as most of the reviews focus on the non-kink sessions.
We are looking for those services from both the Dom & Submissive view that warrant an 'extra point'.
For example, if a reviewer is reviewing a Submissive and for Overall Performance, the submissive performs/allows certain things, what really rates an extra point. Is it spanking, with a whip or cane? Is it public humiliation?
If a reviewer is reviewing a Dom, what does the Dom do that gives the Dom the extra point?
We want opinions from all who participate - Professioinal Doms, Professional Subs and the reviewers who see the Professionals.
The upcoming version will be revamped and BDSM will be expanded. Do not answer this question based on what you see today on a profile (S&M, spanking, light, heavy).
Whether that means vaginal sex, anal sex, strap-on, golden/brown showers, CBT, fisting, cuckolding, impact play, bondage, etc. They are things not all Dom's/subs do, depending on which role we're talking about. Also, will there be a "switch" category?
Slixa has a BDSM Verification Badge you can earn by providing proof that you are a legitimate and well-educated kink provider. Their method involves emailing in proof of BDSM tutorials/workshops/panels/etc. you've attended and also having other established BDSM providers vouch for you (for example: if you've apprenticed under a well know provider or do doubles with them, etc.). They kind of gave me a hard time with it so the process isn't flawless, but the idea is there. Maybe TER can have something similar to distinguish the kink providers that go the extra step!
I am self-educated on BDSM with over a decade of everyday play. Reading many books, watching plenty of videos, and researching the subject first hand by interviewing countless people who are BDSM players I have trained many & done duo's with top Dommes, but never attended workshops, nor paid anyone to learn about feishes. Experience is lifes greatest teacher.
...but that doesn't mean you can't be verified. Just like verifying a client for safety and authenticity, there are many ways to verify your level of BDSM education and experience, self taught or professional taught. Hence, my footnote mentioning the system isn't perfect, and we can improve on it if we put our minds together.
I hope that a decade of medical training would trump any weekend class on how to hold a whip...
Your TER profile states no to BDSM. You may want to update your profile to reflect the services your offering.
Lol, I didn't realize that! Most of what's there was filled in by reviewers, so I'm guessing I have to contact support and just ask for the change?
Men probably figured there's no BDSM because I always turn down the ever-popular golden shower...
I'm sorry, but this "verification" thing slixa doing sounds sooo flawed..
As an educator, I would like to know, outside of Slixa reaching out to me and asking if Mistress so and so attended my class at (insert event here) on whatever date, how they going to prove they actually was there? With the fact that some of these events that I've taught at doesn't have an active roll system (unlike it being a certification/college course, where you are given a card/noted certification), outside of attendees actively approaching me to introduce themselves, and following up with email, it's anyone's guess if they actually were there or not. I wonder if slixa has the thought to ask to see badges/receipt from event to verify person actually went to event in first place...
Also, is it just me, or does it seem very far fetched in assuming that attending 1 1 hour class equates to being "well educated". I mean, it's great that one goes to a class and learn a new trick of the trade, but it doesn't mean that they are the know all, be all.. I know for sure, to speak about my classes, even the most diligent, studious attendee needs at least a few hours outside class time to get the hang of what they learned, and more time to be flawless..
I hope this "verification" process isn't one where you ladies have to pay.. It sounds like such a scam in itself...
While anal can indeed be messy, it does take skill to avoid painful damage. So, for me, it is the skill, as Grace notes, of the dominatrix: in the ability to use electrical, beyond the relatively common ultra-violet wand--TENS/PES/STIM;plus competence in medical sounds, including an autoclave/sterilizing capability; safe suspension. In fact, before I session with a domme, I will ask if she has TENS/PES/STIM equipment; medical sounds, and suspension. If not--then anyone can do it. Or rather "fake" it.
...Electrical play, sounding and suspension are not the only things it takes skill to top in. Maybe they're things you're interested in, but don't discount other skills.
Can just anyone perform genital piercing or saline inflation safely? Suture safely? Fist, flog, or perform breath play safely? Perhaps you should go to the new girl at a dungeon and ask her to give you a crown of thorns because it's so easy
PS. there are plenty of people out there with TENS units, sounds and rope that have no clue what they're doing.
I already qualify for a ten so this isn't about me personally, but it seems like a full service provider who doesn't like to receive anal but who is highly skilled in giving anal play in the form of prostate massage, fisting, strap on play, etc., should be eligible for an additional point as well. It's just the other side of the coin.
This theory could even be expanded to including BDSM activities (not all of them, just the extra special ones decided-upon via this process) to the list of things that make any provider eligible for points, full service or not. Some full-service providers do things like golden or brown showers but do not consider themselves dommes. But maybe showers are worth an extra point, you know? They are highly sought-after and most providers will not do them. Just an example, though.
The thing is, there is a difference between BDSM in the classical sense and kinky play. For example, fisting isn't necessarily BDSM. Yet it does fall outside the norm of standard sexuality, and is practiced by kinky full service escorts and dommes in different contexts. Don't both deserve an extra point? Why is receiving anal sex deserving of an extra point while being able to provide pleasurable anal sex to another person is not deserving of an extra point?
To me, if GFE is escort services that are closer to what you'd have with a girlfriend, the domination equivalent is, well, nearly any sexual act. Unless chastity is specifically part of their play, sexual acts of some sort are nearly always present in lifestyle domination play. If escorts get a point for GFE acts, the highest number of points for domination should be given to adding in sexual acts, IMO. The client demand for this is HUGE, one of the top things clients want to know (in backchannel discussion). The demand is so huge from clients that other areas of the sex industry are responding with their own domination offerings. In my area, because they include such acts, I believe that massage providers as a community may well be doing more domination session than pro dommes ... and it's not clumsy going-through-the-motions, you can get skilled sessions from escorts and massage women. Moreover, for the particular genre of domination she's doing, my massage provider is hands down the best I've ever experienced, better than any pro domme I"ve seen (obviously, there's a chemistry component too).
What all of this adds up to:
- I believe from a client base perspective, sex was the missing piece in domination offerings for many years -- a point for nearly anything there, oral, manual, etc.
- I strongly believe that if an escort or massage provider are offering skilled domination, it's fair they should be reviewed (and given the extra points) for what they do. If she's offering skilled domination, many clients don't care that she's really a massage girl