BDSM

Re: I've enjoyed and reviewed both
allforfun1 28 Reviews 538 reads
posted

As an exclusive Dom I never gave the self identification as a switch a second thought. So much so that I had to go back and look up providers I've seen who in fact did so before I responded here.  

While I understand the trepidation some may have, I'd think - at least in the professional sense - if you say your a switch and can't truly switch that's no different than claiming you offer something else and not delivering on that claim. In the TER world at least, not delivering as promised is a fast path to unemployment.

I'll test this assertion again on Sunday when I'll be seeing a self identified switch. Given her reputation and the company she keeps, I can't imagine our play being anything less than awesome.

For you dominant men who seek submissive hybrid providers (offering GFE & BDSM), are you less likely to select a lady who self-identifies as a switch?  Why or why not?  Thanks in advance, as I'm very interested to hear the responses on this one.

Once in a while, we receive a gentleman who says to me something to the effect of, "I want to see Sub XYZ because she identifies as a true submissive and isn't a switch." While I understand where the gentleman is coming from, I always dispel this myth.

From my recent article on Switching 101:

"What is switching? Broadly speaking, a switch is anyone whose play role is neither exclusively dominant nor exclusively submissive.  Much like with sexuality, there is a continuum of BDSM role preference.  Many people fall at one end or the other: either they enjoy always taking the reins (or the flogger, as it may be) as a dominant, or prefer to be taken by the reins (or led by an exquisitely tied chest harness) only as a submissive.  The rest, however, occupy the middle ground, in which they yearn to top sometimes, and be topped others.  

This, of course, is not to say that a switch feels like domming exactly half the time, and subbing the other.  Rather, many switches are “top-leaning” or “bottom-leaning”.  A “top-leaning” switch might be naturally inclined to dominate his partner, expertly toying with her and doling out punishments as needed. Occasionally, however, he might crave a stern paddling – and he’ll know exactly how it should be done.  A “bottom-leaning” switch tends toward the submissive but enjoys sometimes to flip the dynamics of play on their soon-to-be-spanked...

...It is important to remember that being a switch does not disqualify you from being a genuinely passionate dom(me) or sub.  If anything, switching imparts an invaluable perspective unto its practitioners.  For one, it seems only polite to know exactly how the twitch of a flogger feels against your own skin, before yourself trying it on another person. And on a deeper, more psychological level, a better sub is one who understands the intricacies of how to dominate; what language helps to inhabit a scene and propel it forward, and what touches elicit the most desirable responses.  In the beginning stages of exploration into BDSM, switching, especially with someone well versed in the art of switching, is an excellent way to establish your own likes, boundaries, and desires. Our switches – true artists – are all deeply passionate about domination and submission. They are all dedicated teachers of kink, but also consummate learners: in no way is this simply a profession for them, but rather the extension of a passion for kink that they believe should be shared.  Switching pushes the boundaries of passion even further, allowing you and them to dig more deeply into an understanding of yourselves, of one another, and of the limitless possibilities of connection.  And, the best way to learn is to give it a try!"

Also, I have to point out that we receive many more switch clients than purely Dominant clients. Who doesn't like to mix it up with a good struggle for power!

I have been considering separating my submissive services from my Dominatrix services and having two separate sites rather than combining them into one, so this might help me decide which way to take it. I would love to do more bottoming (I make a pretty good kinky girllfriend, LOL!) so I hope we get a few Doms respond.

Great post rani :)

K

To answer your question Rani, yes, I am less likely to select a lady who identifies as a switch.  In my experience I have found switches to be more dominant than submissive or completely dominant and offer submissive sessions to expand their client base.  You can get a sense right at the beginning how the session will go.  As Kat writes, “a switch is anyone whose play role is neither exclusively dominant nor exclusively submissive.”  That’s fine, but my preference is playing with a lady who is exclusively submissive because I am exclusively dominant.

Thank you for your honest answer :-)

You're welcome, Rani.  Hope that helped.  Cheers, Fred.

bosssik546 reads

I agree and my response is exactly the same. I too prefer a lady that is submissive because I am exclusively Dominant.

Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to post.

In my reviews of Miki--a switch--and Angel--a pure sub--I've enjoyed both. For a switch, there's that hidden feistiness--"Is that the best you've got"--when you dominate them. As for a pure submissive, its the thrill of seeing how far you can go. So, I've enjoyed both.

Very nice to see a perspective that deviates from the majority opinion.  I suspect there are quite a few others, as well. Thanks very much ;-)

As an exclusive Dom I never gave the self identification as a switch a second thought. So much so that I had to go back and look up providers I've seen who in fact did so before I responded here.  

While I understand the trepidation some may have, I'd think - at least in the professional sense - if you say your a switch and can't truly switch that's no different than claiming you offer something else and not delivering on that claim. In the TER world at least, not delivering as promised is a fast path to unemployment.

I'll test this assertion again on Sunday when I'll be seeing a self identified switch. Given her reputation and the company she keeps, I can't imagine our play being anything less than awesome.

When she's with a dominant partner, she is utterly submissive and gives everything she's got. But when she is with a submissive partner, she teases and torments as an erotic Goddess. So much depends on what your partner inspires and draws out of you, and what you guys create together. Even I've been known to top a time or two:)

Posted By: Sexylittlesubkat
she is utterly submissive and gives everything she's got.
And then some! Absolutely, positively no issue with a switch in this case.

elijahsnow536 reads

If the lady is truly a switch, then it doesn't matter at all to me. If someone questions whether they enjoy being a sub, and that ambiguity is reflected in their web page, then I might hesitate to select that person. If the tenor of your question is whether I have a general suspicion of or preference against switches, the answer is absolutely not.

I appreciate your comments.  Thank you ;)

Register Now!